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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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PM sent. I really hope it goes through.
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Happiegrrrl2
Trad climber
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Please drop a post and let us know how you are doing today.
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phylp
Trad climber
Upland, CA
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Oh, Avery. Please reach out for professional help.
You are a valued member of the community here.
Wishing you better times, Phyl
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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Suicide is incredibly serious, and you need to see a counseling psychologist ASAP.
Suicidal ideation is a symptom of serious depression. There ARE ways to manage it. To deal with it, you need to understand the impact that you would leave if you killed yourself.
Suicide does not end with one person killing themselves. Once it starts in a family, it tends to spread. You might kill yourself, but even a cousin or a niece or a nephew might then kill themselves. The statistics on this are very clear. You CAN'T do it, because you will vastly increase the risk of someone else in your family or social group killing themselves. There is no way to commit suicide in a vacuum, even if you feel isolated.
You have to treat suicidal thoughts as just thoughts. With a little will, and an understanding of how awful the tendency of it to spread to someone else, you can learn to ignore the thoughts. You might not be able to stop them, but you can learn to ignore them. Actually committing suicide is not an option, for the reasons that I noted above.
Also, if you are having these thoughts, you clearly are suffering from severe depression. There is no reason to suffer alone. Go see a good psychiatrist as well as a counseling psychologist. Treating depression now has a pretty good track record, and it is very common.
The fact that you posted this on a public forum makes me think that you are really hurting. You don't need to suffer like this. Go get help ASAP.
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Prod
Trad climber
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Yo Avery,
My thoughts are with you. It is tough for anyone who is down to not let their personality and thoughts get in their way. Try to be present in the moment and know that you are not your thoughts, or personality.
I'd try to stay away from mind altering substances. Booze drugs etc.
Take care.
Prod.
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Splater
climber
Grey Matter
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Avery, you post the most fantastic information here!
I always read your stuff first.
Please don't leave us to the politards and trolls.
Clichés' can be true : Everyone has some problems. I try to weigh one positive thing more than 100 problems. Then the good things will always count more than the negatives. Putting that into practice is not easy & takes effort and support, which needs to be seen as one of the positives. Sticking around means more good things.
Being dead is all negative - no upside.
I think there is something to modern society often being less supportive than 3rd world places that materially have less, but value their happiness not in GNP.
Bhutan is a good example.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gross_National_Happiness
Rambling onwards,
Societal happiness does not come from:
Large wealth and income inequity,
huge profits to middlemen like bankers, finance, insurance companies, & monopolies,
Environmental destruction, NIMBY zoning, Sprawl, non-walkable neighborhoods, ignoring external costs, imperialism, undeserved subsidies & loopholes due to buying of government, etc.
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Vitaliy M.
Mountain climber
San Francisco
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This is a good time to start aid climbing, or to climb an unattempted 7000 meter peak.
Seriously though, taking a step away from the negative interactions (like people on the internet) and get busy with something important to you (like collecting historic information into a database of some sort, maybe a book or start new friendships/relationships) could help a lot. Think about what you get joy from and try adopting it into your lifestyle to distract you from things that make you upset. Life is very precious, there are many many things you could do with it before it is your time. Travel. Take a photography course. Maybe change what you do for a living, or do more of what you enjoy. Really hope you get over it.
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chainsaw
Trad climber
CA
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Hi Avery, its Rob writing. It may help you to know that alot of people feel overwhelmed and consider suicide. You are not alone dude. Remind yourself when you are down that you will not always feel this way. Listen to upbeat music. Make a new friend (you just did,) start a project, watch a comedy. Go to a show. Indulge yourself in the things you love and avoid dwelling on negative thoughts. Even if you feel that you cannot help yourself right now, do something to help another person and the dividends of that will come back to you. God Bless you and good fortune.
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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On the topic of depression, it is an illness, and a serious one. It has a morbidity factor that approaches many other serious diseases.
If Avery is having suicidal ideation, then he is seriously depressed. You can't treat this like it is just a transient mood. It is a very dire situation that requires professional help. The good news is that most psychiatrists see depression many times each day. It is a very common mental illness.
It is also the one that treats the best. There is no reason to suffer when you can go see a good P-Doc.
In the meantime, those with depression should be treated with understanding and compassion.
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Ward Trotter
Trad climber
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Change your environment. Even if you have to move to a lower latitude where there is more sunlight for your eyes to produce dopamine, and for your eyes and skin to produce other hormones and substances to make you feel better. Give the compound pharmacy in your skin and eyes a chance to do their thing to support your life in the way that nature has intended.
Get outside more. Leave the indoors behind and all the devices and distractions there.
Good luck
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Bill Mc Kirgan
Trad climber
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
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Hi Avery,
Keeping you in my prayers for survival and discovery of people who can help you at this incredibly difficult time.
I only know you from SuperTopo, and I too appreciate your many thoughtful contributions.
I hope that knowing your fellow Tacos care is at least some small measure of help.
Please let us know how you are doing.
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fear
Ice climber
hartford, ct
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[quote]If Avery is having suicidal ideation, then he is seriously depressed. You can't treat this like it is just a transient mood. It is a very dire situation that requires professional help. The good news is that most psychiatrists see depression many times each day. It is a very common mental illness.
[quote]
Exactly right... if anyone is physically near Avery, or knows someone who is, it might be a good day to stop by...
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LAhiker
Social climber
Los Angeles
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fear said: if anyone is physically near Avery, or knows someone who is, it might be a good day to stop by...
Sounds like a great idea. Does anyone here know Avery IRL, so they can see how he's doing or get someone else to do so?
(BTW, as I post this, it's around 9:15am in New Zealand. So it would be a good time to contact people there, including Avery.)
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Reeotch
climber
4 Corners Area
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I sure do appreciate Avery's enthusiasm for remote big walls like the Kichatna spires.
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PAUL SOUZA
Trad climber
Central Valley, CA
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Perhaps a ST admin can get his IP address and call his local authorities and have them track him down. There are photos of him on here. Sure, it may be embarrassing for him, but will likely get him connected to the appropriate resources.
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Nick Danger
Ice climber
Arvada, CO
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Oh my dear friend, your cry for help really pierces my heart. I know how this can feel, and I also know how much sadness there will be if you chose to leave us - please don't.
There is more love for you in this world than you currently know, or might ever know, really, but Love is there and it is your birthright. I really hope the best for you, hope that you can connect with the Light, and I very much hope you are with us tomorrow.
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i-b-goB
Social climber
Wise Acres
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May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.
-Vin Scully
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hobo_dan
Social climber
Minnesota
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you kidding me? My favorite poster on the ST?
But seriously, get some help--there are a lot of good sunrises, rivers, skiing, romance, laughter all out there waiting for you--remember--The world is a better place with you in it
Dan
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Avery
climber
New Zealand
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 5, 2016 - 04:56pm PT
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I'm safe and with good people.
The will to live is stronger than the will to die (much to my surprise)
Thanks for the messages of hope and of better days to come. I've read every single one.
Avery
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Dropline
Mountain climber
Somewhere Up There
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Mine too.
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