Flight of the Albatross A3 5.8

 
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El Capitan


Yosemite Valley, California USA


Trip Report
TR: My visit to the Canoe

by yo
Monday August 14, 2006 12:29am
What I Did For My Summer Vacation

For my summer vacation I visited the Canoe. It was really fun. I have wanted to visit the Canoe for a long time so it was fun to finally visit it. Also interesting. It was also a little scary to visit the Canoe. If asked whether I would visit the Canoe or not again next summer I think the answer would be no I would not visit the Canoe again. Because it was scary like that.


Myth has it that way, way up on the Shield Headwall of El Cap there’s a monster flake mysteriously pasted on a blank wall. My homeboy Geoff and I decided to cruise on up there, see if this thing really exists or what. Maybe a real block of rock up there, shaped like a canoe, or maybe just legend like a granite Yeti, or a Samsquamch. It was truly an expedition into the unknown, a dark place on the map. Fair chance one of us wasn’t coming back. But I’ll tell you this: if we happened to find a real block of rock up there, and it happened to be actually shaped like a canoe, well then I planned on hopping on that bad boy and riding it like a pony.

My matey Geoff.
Geoff is from Australia. Australians are basically Americans that swear a lot more and break out this killer accent to pick up sheilas. He works in a tin mine so he can haul like a gorilla on PCP. He does not take PCP as far as I know. The mine he works in is in NE Oz near Cairns, which is pronounced Cans, sort of like the Cannes Film Festival, except Cannes is actually pronounced Can. Geoff is dating a girl whose father is an anesthesiologist. Probably be good for some cash when he kicks off. Geoff is certain that if he proposes to said winsome lass, her dad will immediately propose a celebratory toast after which Geoff will end up immediately and celebratorily and untraceably dead. None of this, while all true, is particularly relevant.


To get to the Canoe you have to climb this route called Flight of the Albatross. (FA: John Middendorf, Will Oxx & Jessica Alba, 1993.) The Supertaco says to avoid the first few pitches of the Albatross, because they are grassy and crappy. So we did. I do everything the Taco tells me to do. From Mammoth Terrace we climbed the first four pitches of Magic Mushroom. They were grassy and crappy.

At Cast Away Mateys Pinnacle (arrrrr!) we finally got onto the Albatross proper. Geoff on the A2:


And up the cool 8th pitch.
Topo calls it C1 or likely 5.10 and yeah, it’s like a Pancake Flake sort of a deal. Geoff got so psyched he liebacked the thing in his boots to the anchor. That’s actually not true. But the pitch was so beautiful I followed it clean on toprope. (Not true either.)


Friggin' kids these days.


To Whipper Will, that is the question. Don’t really recall it being that much fun, but there ya go.


The hunt for the Canoe continues. P10, another cool nailing pitch:
Say what you want about the Albatross (and it does have some blank on it) but I thought the climbing was pretty classic. Plenty of long, clean splitters.


I sure hope it's not too late to catch the pirate bandwagon.
That's Middle Cathedral Rock in the background, BTW. Supertaco's own Roger Breedlove put up some bold free routes on that thing back in the day. (With Jules Eichorn.)


Honestly, this Canoe thing was really starting to feel like a legend. By the fourth day we were well up the headwall and had seen no teetering mystery. This is the eleventh belay, only 100 feet below the Canoe. Where is this thing!?


Ta-da! The Canoe!
Not totally like riding a pony, but a good seat regardless. I mean, come on, it’s a ledge. What were you expecting?

My mom always used to tell me, “Expectation is the mother of disappointment.” First, it makes you really think it through when your own mom uses the phrase “mother of disappointment.” But second, she’s right. You ever get so obsessed about something that when it finally happens, you find you could take it or leave it? And not only that, but there’s a million details you overlooked along the way. Well, I’m not saying I was disappointed in the Canoe, but sitting I did realize there was another hardish pitch above I hadn’t been getting psyched up for. And whoa was it a ball breaker. It was a full-on puckerfest, with crap heads and beaks above the ledge. In fact, in the interest of full disclosure, it was somewhere on this pitch that the phrase “Fuсk you, John Middendorf” was heard.


Gunning for the bolt 30' up. I was scared, kids. After a couple rivets the pitch sported five or so fixed heads that were of OK quality, and then the beaking started. And by beaking I mean beak tips. You may be wondering what I mean by beak tips. I mean beaks that are this far in:

Maybe one more shot to show off a little more.
I've been telling everybody I know, and already posted it nearly everywhere, but here goes once more: I have a pretty big problem with the Canoe pitch being called ST A3(no R). There is sizeable deck potential from 30’ and potential to rip big from many other places on the pitch. Whipper Will felt right on at A3+ (with two distinct cruxes as marked on the ST) and the Canoe was beyond that. To me it felt harder than any pitch currently on ZM. I’m trying not to whine too much so I’ll say this: I don’t care what that pitch is graded but it is in DFU territory and you better know what you’re doing with a beak.


And that was basically it. We were off onto the Shield, and in another day we were off.


Random Beta and Trivia

1. We hauled two bags including 64 liters of water up the Heart Slabs 1:1 on a Mini-Traxion.

2. Rivets, though rusty, seemed very solid.

3. We had the SW face of the Cap all to ourselves.

4. They have some weird candy in Oz. Geoff brought some Chicos over. Ever had Chicos? Here’s the bag:
I felt a bit awkward eating them but they were sure choclatey delicious!

5. Got tooled twice during the trip (for OB camping and speeding in Tuolumne) but got off clean each time due to my charm, handsome dirtbaggish looks, and the shiv secreted in my sock. Rangers are people too!

6. Speaking of people and otherwise, I drove home along U.S. 6 aka the Extraterrestrial Highway™ past Area 51. I know what happens inside that compound because I played through Half Life four times. Outside beautiful Rachel, Nev. (ET Highway Rule #1: Whatever you do, do NOT stop the car) I happened upon a Chrysler minivan on the shoulder, shimmering in the classic distress pose—hood up. Which was funny, since the problem was a flat tire. And it was also funny that I violated Rule #1 to be a Samaritan, since I know nothing about automobiles and the gremlins that make them go fast and honk and stuff. But I stopped and tried to help this grandpa get the spare tire out from under the damn minivan. Grandma and what seemed to be two grandkids watched and fretted. The minivan had a hieroglyphic instructional panel indicating some mechanism that winched the tire up under the van, with swirling arrows to RAISE or LOWER and it was funny how little sense it made. Me and granddad, though, working together at full capacity, made slow but steady progress.

I was under the minivan pounding on something critical-looking with a rock when it came out that I was on my way back from “camping” in Yosemite. (Unless you have a spare forty minutes to explain “rock climbering,” just say camping.)

Grandma clutched at her throat and said, “Oh! Yosemite! My isn’t it gorgeous there.”

One of the kids wondered what Yosemite was. Underneath, I broke something.

“Yosemite is a beautiful mountain in Mon—up in Warsh—is it in Wyoming?”

And this was when I realized, still under their UFO, that these people were not from my planet. I crawled out and stood up and looked at their slimy faces. Gauged the distance back to my truck. Should I sprint for that and try to crank her up, or just run into the desert? What sort of aliens were these? Could they warp over and keep me from my truck? Explode it with death rays? Explode me? I had a lug wrench in my hands, that was my only advantage. Maybe these green bastards would waste enough time zipping out of their human suits that I could--

Two cars in the distance. We all watched them approach. It took about an hour and a half, you know how long and straight those roads are. They were two sedans as plain and white as Ford can make them, government plates. Two guys in jeans and black T-shirts stepped out of the first one, in unison. Two guys in green fatigues stepped out of the second, muscley under there for sure, flattops, mirror-shined combat boots. All four in impenetrable black shades.

There was a big silence so I said, “You guys out hunting aliens or what?”

Bigger silence. They stood on their side of the road, and we stood on ours. Cars ticked. The aliens shuffled around a little nervous.

One of the black T-shirt guys said, “Thought maybe you needed some help.”

And the grandma alien took in a breath like she might answer, or might explode his brain, or maybe mine, but I never heard what she said—or did—because I was slamming my truck door and cranking the key and gunning that POS up the long grade out of Rachel, Nev.

All true.

7. Earlier on that drive, on an empty highway, I noticed a little something in the corner of my eye, passing me on the left:
Twenty minutes later they came back the other way. Lost is what they were.

8. You may want more than 10 beaks. I took the 10 listed, lowered off twice (from each bolt) to back clean and got to the belay with a couple left. Not sure what that adds up to. Maybe somebody annoying could cook up a formula: B = (ST + 2BC)^SE, where SE, meaning snail eye, in this particular equation equals, say, ∞. Solving this equation will get you up the Jessica Albatross, and I hope it may solve the world’s energy crisis as well.

9. Curious how we got down off the route? We friggin’ walked, man.



Appendix: Australian/English Dictionary

Budgie smuggler = Speedo

Chockers = full, as in: “I’m bloody chockers, mate. Too many chocolate aborigines.”

Dodgy = jingus, hairball, manky, with teeth, sketch, etc. A great aid word.

Fuсk-all = little or none, as in: “How much rope left?” “Fuсk-all!” “Huh? A lot?” “No! Fuсk-all left!” “What?” “NONE!”

Lollies = candy, excluding chocolate.

Nugs = boobs.

Shits you = annoys you or pisses you off. Again, an extremely useful phrase whilst big walling.

Winter = June-August. Don’t ask, I don’t know what’s going on there.

Wombat = some freakish Oz creature, I guess. Think a gerbil the size of an ox with bunny ears and a scorpion tale with venom strong enough to kill 187 men.




So there you have it. We climbed intrepidly into the unknown with courage and cunning and maybe even what you might call panache. We also ate some Vienna sausages. And if you’re still reading, there’s something wrong with you.

(Thanks Deuce, Mr. Oxx and of course Jess for a very cool route.)

  Trip Report Views: 3,162
yo
About the Author
yo is a climber from a tied-off Tomahawk™.

Comments
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Comment on this Trip Report
More Air

Trad climber
S.L.C.
  Aug 14, 2006 - 01:28am PT
Thanks for the great trip report! So is the Canoe wide enough to lay down on?
Mungeclimber

Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
  Aug 14, 2006 - 02:35am PT
There's still time to leave the country man.

THEY GOT YOUR PLATE NUMBERS!!!



I read ALL of it. Way dodgy post though, I thought there were going to be pics of nugs.
Kartch

climber
belgrade, mt
  Aug 14, 2006 - 08:46am PT
Yo - I think the quote you Mom was looking for was "Expectation is a Motherfvcking disapointment!" BTW how was climbing with a partner who would lead? Must be nice on occasion.
goatboy smellz

climber
लघिमा
  Aug 14, 2006 - 09:03am PT
"Where is this thing!?"
Hilarious!

KarlP

Social climber
Queensland, NorCal, Iceland
  Aug 14, 2006 - 09:19am PT
Awesome trip report!
deuce4

climber
Hobart, Australia
  Aug 14, 2006 - 09:49am PT
First of all, who is this Jessica? Jessica, jessica, hmmmm? Where for art thou, Jessica? Can't say I remember doing the FA with anyone but Will. Maybe he had her stashed in the haulbag...

Nice TR, "the hunt for the Canoe". I had the same desire when we climbed it. I had soloed the Shield previously, and there was an old rope stuck on the Canoe, and it would flap around the triple cracks on the Shield. I cut off a piece of it then. When we got to the Canoe proper, it was all jammed in there. Took a while to clean out. Not sure where it came from originally.

By the way, I called it, unimaginatively, the "boat", but after seeing Sutton after the ascent, he said, "what, that's a canoe if I ever saw one, eh?"

I think someday the Canoe will fall off the big stone. The ledge it sits on is quite sloping, and it is completely detached from it.

ps, thanks for the kind words while you were leading the pitch above the Canoe, eh?, too!
Kupandamingi

Trad climber
Nairobi, Kenya
  Aug 14, 2006 - 10:02am PT
We were pre-hauling to heart ledges last Sunday when you guys were up there. All I could think was Im getting ready to get scared shitless on one of the most moderate routes on here (triple D)and thess jackasses sound like they're actually having fun up there above us on some route left of the Shield....It was really amazing to have that side to ourselves after you guys got off and we launched on Monday...full moons, perfect weather, no crowds.
Roger Breedlove

climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
  Aug 14, 2006 - 11:18am PT
Hey Ryan. An instant classic. Very nice writing.

Looks like you are making good progress on the ADD/paranoiac/Jessica delusional thing. But, just in case, I am glad you got away—that thing you broke under the space ship was the Cataclysmic Attenuating Necromaniacal Osseocarnisanguineoviscericartilaginonervomedullar Euthanasia launcher.

(I don’t see the pictures on my work computer—my company’s attempt to make me more productive—Ha. How little they know about my easy distractibility.)

Best, Buzz
deuce4

climber
Hobart, Australia
  Aug 14, 2006 - 11:51am PT
p.s. Sure did enjoy seeing the creative sticker modification on your helmet, too!
Gunkie

Trad climber
East Coast US
  Aug 14, 2006 - 11:53am PT
Great trip report!
Sewellymon

climber
.....in a single wide......
  Aug 14, 2006 - 11:57am PT
yea yo- awesome TR

does anybody have a pic of the canoe from afar? i'd like to see what a boat plastered on el cap looks like
Lambone

Big Wall climber
Ashland, Or
  Aug 14, 2006 - 12:03pm PT
HA!

nice TR and Scend!
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
  Aug 14, 2006 - 12:18pm PT
Nice! Thanks
I had to go back to look at the helmet, nice work on that, too!




"Why is drinking your (american) beer like making love in a canoe?"

"It's f*#king close to water!"

-Eric Idle, possing as a 'stralian.
Dingus Milktoast

Gym climber
Maestro, Ecosystem Ministry, Fatcrackistan
  Aug 14, 2006 - 12:27pm PT
Yo, Yo?

Awesome dude!

DMT
Jonny D

Social climber
Fanta Se, NM
  Aug 14, 2006 - 12:34pm PT
Arrrh! my belley tis' aching. fun post!
Rhodo-Router

Gym climber
sawatch choss
  Aug 14, 2006 - 12:36pm PT
Nice TR, yo! I love your writing. please go visit some more cool features so we can read about the trip. Snoopy? Ice Station Zero?
yo

climber
Mudcat Spire
Author's Reply  Aug 14, 2006 - 02:20pm PT
Hey, boys. Thanks.

Sewellymon, got home and started brewing up a sprayfest and realized...I got no pics of the Canoe! If anybody's got a good shot of the Shield Headwall, post her up please. The Canoe really is up there in the middle of nowhere.


Deucey, yeah, the Canoe will probably trundle someday, but it's on there better than I expected. I have no idea why it is there, geologically speaking, but it's got that little perch at least. I think Boot Flake goes first.

Is that rivet higher on the Canoe pitch original? That stretch between the bolt and rivet was unreal, one move in particular where I kept scraping a beak down the seam looking for it to catch on something, then giving her a tap. Yipe!

Again, I highly recommend the route. It's spectacular and made out of the highest quality stone the Cap can offer.
yo

climber
Mudcat Spire
Author's Reply  Aug 14, 2006 - 02:27pm PT
Oh, forgot one last beta tip: P11 used a green camalot as noted, but that is not the only cam. Toward the anchor the pitch took 4-5 alien-sized cams. So .75 camalot, blades and LAs, and a handful of cams less than 1".

No reason to belay on CA Pinnacle. From Grey Ledges to 7 is around 180'.

Brian, the Canoe is shoulder width and pretty flat.



PS: Kartch, when are you coming down here, you little schoolgirl?
TradIsGood

Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
  Aug 14, 2006 - 02:40pm PT
Nice TR!

Sitting on the canoe without a paddle.

Probably why it didn't go anywhere.
Kartch

climber
belgrade, mt
  Aug 14, 2006 - 02:48pm PT
Yo - I'll be there Sept 8-11, Lowe Route on Angels? Scott and I just did El Grande Teton sat (which BTW you should never Google) it was sweet.

And it's school-man YO, SCHOOL-MAN!

Lambone

Big Wall climber
Ashland, Or
  Aug 14, 2006 - 03:12pm PT
Yo,

yo you should post your beta on the Route Beta page...yo yo

YAR!

oooh, ooohhh
Bart Fay

Social climber
Redlands, CA
  Aug 14, 2006 - 04:36pm PT
Big Wall Home Girl Jessica Alba


Funny stuff.
Might be the first time I actually laughed out loud on ST.
Could just be the medication though.
deuce4

climber
Hobart, Australia
  Aug 14, 2006 - 07:41pm PT
Oh of course! THAT Jessica. 'Course she was up there on the FA.

Sure was a sweetie. Hauled them bags like all get out too.
Karl Baba

Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
  Aug 15, 2006 - 12:17am PT
Fair Dinkim or whatever

Great trip report, much enjoyed

Oxx said it's only the "Flight" of the Albatross if you use his descent route. Otherwise it's just the Albatross.

Probably extra points if you ride the canoe down.

Peace

Karl
Loom

climber
Neither here nor there.
  Aug 15, 2006 - 01:12am PT
Thanks for the TR.

My friend Dan and I climbed it in '01.

Flyin' Brian, Hans, and some girl (whose name escapes me: Jessica Alba maybe?) passed us at the canoe. I led that pitch the next morning. I remember that I did have to work at making myself believe that I wouldn't deck if something popped.


Karl said that,
"Oxx said it's only the "Flight" of the Albatross if you use his descent route. Otherwise it's just the Albatross.

Probably extra points if you ride the canoe down."



And super-extra-bonus points if you ride Jessica Alba while riding the canoe down . . .












. . .and pulling your rip cords just before the canoe sinks into the mediterraneo.
Euroford

Trad climber
Louisville, CO
  Aug 15, 2006 - 10:35am PT
freekin great trip report!

Zander

climber
  Aug 15, 2006 - 10:56am PT
Yo,
Thanks for the great TR and pics,
Zander
Hootervillian

climber
the Hooterville World-Guardian
  Aug 15, 2006 - 11:00am PT
LOL. * classic.
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
  Aug 18, 2006 - 11:38pm PT
Oi, mite! Ripping yarn, that!

[And like, only a Merrican would call a canoe a "boat", eh? Good thing you had a Hoser to name the thing for you]
golsen

Social climber
kennewick, wa
  Aug 19, 2006 - 12:12am PT
Great TR Yo, thanks for sharing.

Deuce, didnt you mean to say that Jessica could really hump some loads? Because I am pretty sure that if she were humpin sumtin else, well, I know I'd remember that...
deuce4

climber
Hobart, Australia
  Aug 20, 2006 - 03:45pm PT
Most likely there were some dreams of a Jessica humping some of my loads...
Mighty Hiker

climber
Vancouver, B.C.
  Aug 20, 2006 - 04:45pm PT
A very nice report!

Definition of Canadian: Someone who knows how to make love in a canoe. Something that Steve S., and PTPP, forgot to mention.

Anders
cintune

climber
The Utility Muffin Research Kitchen
  Aug 20, 2006 - 05:19pm PT
Duplicate joke deleted, but still funny.

This is a great TR, made my day. Damn, you guys live in paradise.
handsome B

Gym climber
SL,UT
  Aug 21, 2006 - 11:53am PT
Great T.R.

Funny and informative, kinda like the Daily Show.
426

climber
  Aug 25, 2006 - 01:30pm PT
Glad I didn't miss this in the ST ether...yo, great stuff

Grab one of these for your next trip across NV...



http://www.geocities.com/area51/dimension/7127/ufo-detc.html
Phil_B

Social climber
CHC, en zed
  Aug 25, 2006 - 04:37pm PT
Holy $#!t, that was funny!

Great TR man.

JMC

climber
the land of milk and honey
  Aug 27, 2006 - 02:59pm PT
Outstanding! Tiny beak tips, too. Should had Alba lead that one...

-John
s. o.

Trad climber
not where I want to be
  Aug 29, 2006 - 01:37am PT
Nice shorts yo. I like the helmet. Did your mother give you that sticker too, or is that from your shift at work.
Mike.

climber
  Aug 29, 2006 - 10:12am PT
A brilliant bit of craftsmanship there, yo. Funny stuff! We really enjoyed it.

I can't decide whether you're a better writer or climber...it looks like you've got a firm grip on both. Keep up the super work on both fronts!

M&m
Texplorer

Trad climber
Sacramento
  Aug 29, 2006 - 11:36am PT
Greetings Yo,
Nice job. I had fun watching you from the meadow. You guys zipped up the stone. I wish my trip had been as fruitful as yours.
yo

climber
Mudcat Spire
Author's Reply  Aug 29, 2006 - 01:50pm PT
Hey Mike, thanks mate. Being a good writer makes up for being a crappy climber, but not vice versa! Your Muir Pup TR is one of my alltime faves. Cheers.


Tex, are you Carston? (sp?) What happened with Eagles Way? Let's do some Zion this winter.

Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
  Aug 29, 2006 - 10:42pm PT
Right on target Pilgr'm.
Way to nail the 'ole TR.
Bump fer those who ain't seen the good werks.
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
  Aug 30, 2006 - 12:25am PT
I would have read this a lot sooner if it had been entitled;

Jessica Alba Tossed By Ryan Frost




You can actually see the direct line to the Shield roof in the second photo.
Someone should stash a photo-op paddle up there behind the canoe.
goatboy smellz

climber
लघिमा
  Jan 28, 2007 - 05:23pm PT
john hansen told me to bump this due to all the bulls#it lately.

http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.html?topic_id=313685


WoodySt

Trad climber
Riverside
  Jan 28, 2007 - 05:46pm PT
Great pictures but I thought this thread was about a canoe trip. Oh well, I did 2000 miles or there about on the Mississippi in a canoe years ago. I'm still recovering: nightmares about tow boats, they never go away.
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
  Jan 28, 2007 - 08:58pm PT
A worthy bump.

Tom and I actually ended up on two pitches of Albatross last fall, thanks to his brilliant route-finding [and an even more brilliant McTopo for Magic Mushroom]. We climbed straight up above the pinnacle, along the two stellar cracks, then I worked left to Mushroom proper.

Tom led the bit straight off the pinnacle, and it seemed more like stiff A3 than A2 to me when I cleaned it.... but stellar cracks above, eh?

Mighty Hiker

climber
Vancouver, B.C.
  Jan 28, 2007 - 09:11pm PT
And here's a picture of the sort of canoe Steve S may have been referring to:

Your basic northwest coast canoe, perhaps from Haida Gwaii or some such. All the museums around here have one. There's a lovely one, carved from jade, in the foyer at Vancouver airport.
Jello

Social climber
No Ut
  Jan 28, 2007 - 09:33pm PT
Glad this TR was bumped. Pure entertainment!

-AlienJello
Crimpergirl

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
  Jul 11, 2007 - 11:52pm PT
This one just keeps coming back - super fun read!
pc

climber
  Jul 12, 2007 - 01:15am PT
Thanks for the bump Crimpie. Can't believe I missed this the first times around.

Great TR Yo!

pc
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
  Feb 25, 2009 - 02:11am PT
The apple falls not far from the tree bump
dmalloy

Trad climber
eastside
  Feb 25, 2009 - 11:11am PT
a Bump in honor of Bump a Cool Thread day...
cintune

climber
The Utility Muffin Research Kitchen
  Feb 25, 2009 - 01:57pm PT
Whenever I see the word bump, I think of this thread.
matisse

climber
  Feb 25, 2009 - 09:54pm PT
me too, bump
Russ Walling

Social climber
from Poofters Froth, Wyoming
  Feb 25, 2009 - 10:34pm PT


oh... did this just bump it?
T2

climber
Cardiff by the sea
  Feb 25, 2009 - 11:12pm PT
Cool report I missed this one first time around. Stoked it came around again.
Lynne Leichtfuss

Trad climber
Will know soon
  Feb 25, 2009 - 11:50pm PT
So, Thread meisters have reported true. Yo Is one of the best writers and spinners of history, along with fun, fables, and the complex and beautiful fabric of people and rock that make up this wild and wonderful world called climbing.

Cheers to you yo ! Salute' ! lrl

drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
  Feb 25, 2009 - 11:58pm PT
I laughed, I cried, I...
Mainly I laughed my ass off!
Awesome!
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
  Feb 26, 2009 - 01:30am PT
Thanks for bumping this into my semi-consciousness. Most Excellent!
Don't get me started on 'Area 51'. Since I'm not a hijacker I won't say a word unless I am encouraged to start another topic.
FYI those C-17's were cooking your guts with side-scanning radar.
Roxy

Trad climber
CA Central Coast
  Feb 26, 2009 - 09:35pm PT
great TR!
tolman_paul

Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
  Feb 26, 2009 - 09:56pm PT
Thanks for the bump, great tr, psyches me to go climb, and I'm still chuckling.
Hoots

climber
Mammoth Lakes, CA
  Mar 30, 2009 - 12:31am PT
BUMP for one of the funniest TRs out there.
mark miller

Social climber
Reno
  Mar 30, 2009 - 12:57am PT
Great Tr Yo... But have you noticed that after a few pints that subdued Aussie dialect is sheer gibberish to us slow talkin' yanks...They talk so f''''bloody fast....No wuckin furies mate and all that shite and it has always left me feeling a bit bewildered.....Bloody Hell. The last fight I was in that I was definitely Knott going to come out on top was with an Aussie mate from Perth. We were shootin some stick and swillin a bit at a local Reno Pub when some Prick came over and started messin' with our sticks while we were trying to shot(Pool)..... We told him to "Bugger Off", well he was the quarter back of the UNR football team and most of his offense was there. The friggin Aussie didn't have the sense to back off and after a few punches (fortunately) the bouncers broke up the whole thing and gave us an option of leaving or continuing the brawl(11 to 2), ( we might be good but Knott immortal) I had to drag that friggin aussie out of there.
Gawd I love those crazy beer drinking Bastards......
MH2

climber
  Sep 29, 2009 - 05:50pm PT
Holy Sh!t that was scary.

Thanks to Mom I don't do that kind of climb nor traverse Nevada.

Great to hear of another's distress, however.
Studly

Trad climber
WA
  Sep 29, 2009 - 06:49pm PT
The funniest trip report I have ever read!
Buju

Big Wall climber
the range of light
  Apr 19, 2010 - 07:59pm PT
awesome
NFB

Mountain climber
Wilson, Wyoming
  Apr 21, 2010 - 07:23pm PT
Thank you for the armchair visit to the canoe. And for explaining aussie. And for remembering Jessica. And for writing a fine TR. And for being a fellow "cop-whisperer". The key to "cop-whispering" is to always remember, no matter how hard, that Johnny is a person too. And that he is in charge.

--The Cop Whisperer
bubble boy

Big Wall climber
Mammoth, CA
  Apr 22, 2010 - 09:25pm PT
laughed my arse off - thanks!!!!
Mike Bolte

Trad climber
Planet Earth
  Apr 25, 2010 - 10:36pm PT
this is hand's down the best TR ever written
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
  Nov 7, 2010 - 06:57pm PT
Bump for the best Trip Report poster on the site.
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
  Nov 7, 2010 - 07:12pm PT
hey there say, mr. E.... man oh man, thanks for the bump....

seems i never seen this one... oh my....


say, yo, thanks for the really trip report shared with us all...

:)

edit: ps. i had never heard of this spot...
Mighty Hiker

climber
Vancouver, B.C.
  Nov 8, 2010 - 12:34am PT
The one thing this TR is missing is a photo of the canoe, say from the meadows. Showing it in all its glory, with or without climbers.
'Pass the Pitons' Pete

Big Wall climber
like Ontario, Canada, eh?
  Nov 8, 2010 - 11:50am PT
Note to self to post up one of Tom's photos he took of me and JP this trip. Great route, will also comment on the pitch above the Canoe, which is definitely PDH.
matisse

climber
  Nov 8, 2010 - 12:32pm PT
every time this gets bumped I read it over from start to finish. friggin awesome.
graniteclimber

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
  Nov 11, 2010 - 09:31pm PT
Thanks!
Sonic

Trad climber
Boulder, Co
  Aug 31, 2011 - 01:27pm PT
Bump for the Canoe
Mike Bolte

Trad climber
Planet Earth
  Aug 31, 2011 - 02:09pm PT
I think this is still my all-time, #1 favorite TR
Matt Thomsen

Big Wall climber
Places
  Sep 22, 2011 - 10:47pm PT
Yo, is funny as sh#t. Make a book of his TRs and I will buy it.
Roger Breedlove

climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
  Sep 23, 2011 - 09:17am PT
The Canoe
The Canoe
Credit: Elcap-pics
dee ee

Mountain climber
citizen of planet Earth
  Sep 25, 2011 - 12:37pm PT
Canoe or ocean bird glyph looking left?
deuce4

climber
Hobart, Australia
  Sep 25, 2011 - 04:36pm PT
Still don't understand why I was getting cussed out. Jeez.
justthemaid

climber
Jim Henson's Basement
  Jan 23, 2013 - 09:22pm PT
Funny stuff man. A must read. I totally dodged that fake-breakdown alien scenario like.. a year ago.

Australians are basically Americans that swear a lot more and break out this killer accent to pick up sheilas.


Yup... that's exactly what I always say.
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
  Jun 5, 2013 - 09:34pm PT
Canoe-without-a-paddle bump!
eKat

Trad climber
  Nov 11, 2013 - 07:53pm PT
BBST!
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El Capitan - Flight of the Albatross A3 5.8 - Yosemite Valley, California USA. Click to Enlarge
Flight of the Albatross is route number 6.
Photo: Tom Frost
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1800' of fantastic climbing.
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The Salathé Wall ascends the most natural line up El Cap.
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Lurking Fear is route number 1.
El Capitan - East Buttress 5.10b - Yosemite Valley, California USA. Click for details.
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East Buttress with top of The Nose on left.
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