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Avery
climber
New Zealand
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Topic Author's Original Post - Oct 4, 2016 - 09:14pm PT
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I've been struggling lately with thoughts of suicide. Am I capable of going through with it? I have no idea.
Some useful thoughts would be invaluable
I think the standard roll-call of pseudo comedians should skip this one.
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Mule Skinner
Social climber
Bishop
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It will get better my friend hang in there.
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i-b-goB
Social climber
Wise Acres
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Any Major Dude Will Tell You
Steely Dan
I never seen you looking so bad my funky one
You tell me that your superfine mind has come undone
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you
Have you ever seen a squonk's tears? Well, look at mine
The people on the street have all seen better times
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you
I can tell you all I know, the where to go, the what to do
You can try to run but you can't hide from what's inside of you
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again
When the demon is at your door
In the morning it won't be there no more
Any major dude will tell you
....and pray!
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Curt
climber
Gold Canyon, AZ
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Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please give this some consideration.
Curt
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Spider Savage
Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
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I've heard that people with these thoughts might feel that it would be a help to others if they were gone. The opposite is true.
They say "trust your feelings" but this does not work. Feelings, emotions, knowing, can come from dark places.
Odd that the human mind, designed to serve our survival should conclude to not survive.
Finding ways to change, hit the reset button, on life are far better.
Change your space or change your knowledge. Moving to another town, country, etc. can be like a new life. Easy for others to say if you are feeling totally trapped. But consider this before taking your life. It is no way out of the trap. The demons that haunt you simply follow you to the next life.
If you can go someplace and find yourself, and build yourself up bigger and stronger than the, voice, or thought process, whatever it is telling you to end it.
Life is a game, event though it can get very serious. Play it to win.
I hope this helps. I have no exeperience with what you are experiencing.
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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As much as most of us want to help you, there might be some local resources who are better at it than us. Please try calling some of these folks near you:
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/new-zealand-suicide-hotlines.html
It seems like a major positive step that you have the courage to reach out here and ask us for help. With that character attribute I think you have the courage to overcome whatever makes your life not seem like it is worth living. You do have the power to find something worth living for, something that holds meaning and value for you, and inviting other people into your life to help find that will lead to better things.
Sometimes you have to crawl through the darkness to find the light, but it is there for you to find. Good luck.
One day at a time, sometimes one hour or one minute at a time. Just keep stacking them together.
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nita
Social climber
chica de chico, I don't claim to be a daisy.
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*
Avery, I am so sorry you are struggling.. Is there a suicide hotline in New Zealand?
This is a website and number for a suicide hotline in the U.S. http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm
I really hope you can get some help...Hang on..
[Click to View YouTube Video]
The futures paved with better days.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
Saludos
Nita..
edit, Thanks Nutjob...I was looking up music when you posted .
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nah000
climber
no/w/here
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not sure if this will be helpful, but here is what i wish someone might have told me:
don't fight or deny them... rather accept them and if you are able, maybe even try to be curious about them... breathe and allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you feel.
when one is physically hungry, one doesn't tell oneself that they shouldn't feel hunger.
yet when we are emotionally/spiritually struggling we often pile on and tell ourselves that we shouldn't feel what we are inevitably feeling...
it is okay to feel hunger.
just as it is okay to struggle.
while occasionally people do die of starvation... the vast vast majority of time we do find food.
but one can't find food, if one doesn't accept that they feel hunger...
[all the best A.]
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WyoRockMan
climber
Grizzlyville, WY
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We've never met, but I'd like to. I very much enjoy your contributions here. I had the thoughts many years ago, even loaded the pistol. My brother would be so devastated. My Mom too. My friends as well. I felt the sensation of that first morning breath out of the tent where your sinus freezes. I'd miss that. A knee deep powder run, i'd miss those too. The naked embrace of a lover I'd yet to meet. For sure would miss that...
You can rally through this pitch. I know you can.
Reaching out is a good first step. Google up your local/regional/national suicide hotline and give them a call. Please.
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ThomasKeefer
Trad climber
San Diego
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Please reach out to someone who has been where you are now - Many have and are so much better for it now.
Change your environment - determine who is most important to you and who you think you are most important to and how much your decisions can affect them!
Wishing you the best!
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Todd Eastman
climber
Bellingham, WA
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You are a needed and valued member of this community.
Todd
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aspendougy
Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
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If you go through with it, it will hurt all of those who love you a lot more than it will help you. In the after death state, you will feel restless and remorseful until you reincarnate, and eventually you have to face similar circumstances, until you pass that test. As a spiritual being with unlimited potential, you are on the way to Infinite Bliss consciousness, and a suicide in any given incarnation will set you back, and delay your eventual merging in ever new, infinite happiness.
Even this community needs you, and would not be the same without you. You are a member of our Super Topo family, and we want you to continue to be in this family, so please hang in there!!
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thebravecowboy
climber
The Good Places
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dude. don't ditch us! i dig your contributions here.
keep riding this wave, it's the only one we've got!
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crankster
Trad climber
No. Tahoe
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Yes, seek professional help ASAP. You can't do it yourself. And you can and will get better.
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Spiny Norman
Social climber
Boring, Oregon
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Please, please contact a suicide hotline, or other counseling. The feelings of darkness are not invincible. This is another crux: there are ways around or through it.
Also: what others here have said. Patience is a virtue, and you won't know how it turns out if you are not here to see. I do not know you but I value your contributions to this forum. That may seem a small or insignificant thing but I assure you that it is not. Many here are changed and inspired by your continuing presence.
Your threads on alpine climbing are some of the best on the 'topo, which means the best on the web, which means the best anywhere. You know what climbing means, and what the narrative of climbing means. How it can change people, change the way we think. That is value that you add to this community and it is irreplaceable.
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jonnyrig
climber
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Tomorrow is a new day, full of endless possibilities. None of which you can experience if you're not here.
It might be sh#t, or you might happen upon a single leaf in the forest that speaks to your soul and changes your life.
Try something new. Call an old friend. Invite someone you know out to do something they and/or you normally wouldn't. Re-read an old familiar favorite book. Remind yourself that life is good, and there are things to enjoy. Make it a goal to find one good thing every day, no matter how small, that you think is good, and build on that.
Tied your shoelaces right? One point. Beautiful sunrise? Bonus. Called a friend to invite them out but they declined? Meh. You made an effort, so bonus point.
Day didn't turn out how you thought/hoped/expected? It's ok. You've still got tomorrow. It won't be the same, not if you don't let it. All you have to do is change one thing, anything, and the whole world could change. The only really tricky thing about it is that nobody else is likely to do it for you, so you have to decide to do it. Maybe take up coloring. Seriously. You just never know.
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Good advice from some mighty good people.
Patrick, there is away through the tunnel. There are many good professionals who can help you get through. You've got some damn good living, loving and sharing to do.
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healyje
Trad climber
Portland, Oregon
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Consider giving these folks a chance to talk with you:
LifeLine Christchurch telephone counselling service provides 24 hours a day, 7 days a week counselling and support. Call+64 3-366 6742 or 111.
http://www.lifeline.org.nz/corp_Home_378_2001.aspx
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Dr.Sprock
Boulder climber
I'm James Brown, Bi-atch!
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we love you so don't do it!
there is somebody else that loves you no matter what, don't matter where you are or what you did or what time it is,
this can be hard to believe when you are hurting, but it is true.
what is your purpose in life? it is to help other people. try to find somebody to help, it will get you outside of yourself.
let the sh#t float downstream, don't wade out into the mess because it will drown you.
take a step back and don't struggle.
and realize that you are not alone, we all have problems and some of us have even had the same thoughts that you are having,
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