social skills (picking up chicks)

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Standing Strong

Trad climber

hopping on a moonshadow

Jul 21, 2008 - 05:22pm PT

"Don't try and pick up climbing chics. Bad odds. No offense to any of the ladies of supertopo."

i laugh robustly

k-man

Gym climber

SCruz

Jul 21, 2008 - 05:52pm PT

Norwegian, too bad you were so drunk, you missed the obvious pick-up line:

"you're amazing. and i have a vasectomy. First time I've ever regretted that."

PS. What two words magically turn a fox into a dog??

A: Last call...

Captain...or Skully

Big Wall climber

Yonder

Jul 21, 2008 - 05:53pm PT

Don't try to pick up climbing chicks, mainly because they can kick your ass.....

SteveW

Trad climber

The state of confusion

Jul 21, 2008 - 06:32pm PT

Where's California? or better yet, What's California

(my apologies to Russ, L, Ed, Locker, Coz, DR, and a lot of gud uns).

spud

climber

Jul 21, 2008 - 08:29pm PT

I completely agree with Quartizeflight.

Also, don't move to Idaho--those chicks are totally LUNATIC! ESPECIALLY THE LUMBERJILLS IN THE PANHANDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

divad

Trad climber

wmass

Jul 21, 2008 - 08:43pm PT

"Don't get hammered drunk. You may think you're smoother than silk and colder than an iceberg, but you're really just another drunk."

I don't think as much as you drink I do.

jstan

climber

Jul 21, 2008 - 08:57pm PT

This decrepit thead is the only place I will get to use the sweatshirt I saw while bicycling through campus today. The back of this lady's sweat shirt read,
"because you weren't there."

I was too embarassed to look back to see the front.

seamus mcshane

climber

Jul 21, 2008 - 09:08pm PT

Norwegian

Trad climber

Placerville, California

Topic Author's Reply - Jul 24, 2009 - 09:13am PT

the other night i was soundly sleeping in our bed. my wife comes in sometime during the night, after falling asleep while reading to the girls.

i wake up for just a brief moment, peering thru the darkness.
and i say to her...

"even your shadow is beautiful."

and then i fell back off the edge of consciousness.

nature

climber

Tucson, AZ

Jul 24, 2009 - 10:05am PT

let me get this straight...

a year ago you were picking up chicks and now you are married?

Norwegian

Trad climber

Placerville, California

Topic Author's Reply - Jul 24, 2009 - 10:14am PT

its a fruitful pursuit, i tell ya.

no, actually, i was married a year ago while i was picking up chicks in the bar.

but i really wasn't "picking up" chicks, just merely having fun with the moment.

i told my wife about the whole incident. i share all of my stumblings with her.

she knows of my sincerity.

Norwegian

Trad climber

Placerville, California

Topic Author's Reply - Aug 13, 2009 - 09:41pm PT

my wife and i sneek away for an evening of sushi and drinks, while the kids riddle someone else's reality.

we seat at the bar and get behind a wonderful roll with cilantro, hallepenos and salmon.

we're dining and wining and no one is whining. good cheer abounds.

a nice lassie sits to my left. i smile.

to preface the remainder of the story, i'd been workin in the mid-summer-california-sun all day, trying real hard to keep up on my fluids. but i got behind. musta been the beers after work?

thus, as im sittin there at the sushi bar, my calf fully cramps. screamin cramp.

so without a plan of escape, i straighten my leg to ease the cramp. only it plants right against my neighbor's leg.

i done kicked her. hard. also my napkin falls from my lap on to the floor.

embarassed, i pick it up and unthinkingly set it on the bar,
in between my plate and the attractive stranger's plate.

now it was a visibly dirty napkin, smudged with the typical sushi flavors. and it was within an inch of food she was about to consume.

i quickly correct my terrible table manners and utter an apology to the lady.

she says with audible frusteration, "im trying to not get all O.C.D. about my space here," with a fine hand gesture outlining here designated dining room.

i look to my wife and i say, "you see why i had trouble reelin in the ladies."

Thorgon

Big Wall climber

Sedro Woolley, WA

Aug 13, 2009 - 10:32pm PT

Captain...or Skully

Big Wall climber
From: Yonder
"Don't try to pick up climbing chicks, mainly because they can kick your ass....."

Bahaha... Or out climb me!!!!!

Thor

Captain...or Skully

Social climber

Boise....

Aug 13, 2009 - 10:38pm PT

Watch out that she doesn't do the one & then the other, too.
Yikes!

quartziteflight

climber

Who knows?

Aug 14, 2009 - 09:24am PT

When I first met my spottieottiedopalicious angel
I can remember that damn thing like yesterday
The way she moved reminded me of a brown stallion
Horse with skates on smooth like a hot comb
On nappy ass hair
I walked up on her & was almost paralyzed
Her neck was smelling sweeter
Than a plate of yams with extra syrup..

Norwegian

Trad climber

dancin on the tip of god's middle finger

Topic Author's Reply - Jul 23, 2013 - 05:31pm PT

hey nutless-job
i wanted to invite you to
employ my above stated and
mildly effective pick up line
now that hopping fences
is no longer your danger.

Norwegian

Trad climber

dancin on the tip of god's middle finger

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 10, 2014 - 09:49am PT

while your attic,
weave an old rope into a bohemian belt.

now employ it within your waist hoops.

a square knot holds well, here.
in between pint-pulls, at the local pub
you gotta take a leak, right?

plan your restroom exit accordingly,
and shoulder up next to a sweet-pretty thing.
fumble with your belt, trying to hitch it, solo.

you're sure to gather stares.
now ask the honey if she wouldn't
mind putting a finger on the 'x'
of the first-pass knot, and slight pressure.
you know, while you secure the top
half of the hitch.

so now, you are literally and physically a present,
and she will instinctively want to unwrap you.

i actually wear belts like this,
and they are difficult to tie by yourself.

once while leading a pitch i ran out of runners
and yanked my pant leash and tied it to the last piece;
so they are multifaceted tools.

go get 'em boys.
tell them norwegian sent you.

i've already got mine,
keeping her has proven more difficult than the initial capture.

Norwegian

Trad climber

dancin on the tip of god's middle finger

Topic Author's Reply - Feb 23, 2014 - 12:07pm PT

unlikely gestures win otherwise difficult to
secure adorations.

here, i offer a real-life example:

i was eyeing this gal, she was like, all there, and then some.
i offered myself, rubber-like to the universe,
hoping to capture and then redirect to her,
some of It's infinite signs.
but man, i always ended up too dead-toured to triumph.

then i learned of a mid-week show at a small venue in santa cruz,
so after work i dieseled on down the four hours to the show.
ended up visiting with helen on the side, stage right.
it was concrete floors, and cold.

so i spread out my velvet skirt, which was plentiful in flowy fabric,
on the floor, and then gestured for her to rest upon it.

she sat. she immediately warmed up to me,
and she realized that i was between her and negative thermal transfer,
and that that was a good thing.

i left santa cruz at 2 am,
pulled into the parking lot of my employer at 5:45,
caught an hour of sleep before the
master carpenter woke me up
by rapping his hard hat on my wind deflector.