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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 19, 2008 - 11:31pm PT
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so it was one of those days where i only ate like 1 fuel bar and a piece of fruit, i only drank about a cup of water, then i cragged all day in the sun, hauling my asse up steep approaches and the like. come about 3pm i return to the valley river where i stashed my beers. i put down about 3 while submerged up to my neck. then i walk to the bar to socialize. i have a couple more. it goes unsaid, but i'll say it anyway, i was good and drunk. so this extremely striking women sits next to me. i mean extremely stiking. solid. so im trying to put together something to spit out, and here's what i said:
you're amazing. and i have a vasectomy. what a coincidence.
she kinda smirked but moved about 3 stools away. i didn't get a drink in the face or my lap and the bar tender found it quite amusing. i slept in the grass that night, in the way of the crickets.
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Captain...or Skully
Big Wall climber
Yonder
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Jul 20, 2008 - 01:05am PT
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That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. Hey, I was huckin' horseshoes with the boys earlier....Doof!
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Jul 20, 2008 - 01:57am PT
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TRULY laughing out loud. Liquid stupidity or liquid courage, either way it sometimes makes you do crazy stuff. hhahaha
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Standing Strong
Trad climber
hopping on a moonshadow
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Jul 20, 2008 - 01:57am PT
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hahaha! i'm a chik and think it's hilarious
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Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
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Jul 20, 2008 - 03:02am PT
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Now that the supertopo world knows you have a sense of humility and a vasectomy, your luck might improve.
Maybe your crazy like a fox!
Funny story
peace
karl
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Chiloe
Trad climber
Lee, NH
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Jul 20, 2008 - 09:35am PT
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Hah! By now she's told this story to all her friends too.
But Norwegian told it well.
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Standing Strong
Trad climber
hopping on a moonshadow
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Jul 20, 2008 - 07:23pm PT
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tip: nix the vasectomy line. i highly doubt in this day and age, unless she's extremely drunk and doesn't know what she's doing (in which case you shouldn't sleep with her anyway) that you're going to find someone who would hookup w/out a condom.
p.s. what are you doing? what happened to your wife and two little kids?
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nutjob
Stoked OW climber
San Jose, CA
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Jul 20, 2008 - 08:01pm PT
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I spent about a minute laughing out loud and hurting my stomach while my eyes teared up so much I couldn't read the screen any more! True genius :)
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Jul 21, 2008 - 09:49am PT
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Hee hee hee. . .
Happy Monday, Norwegian!
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Beatrix Kiddo
Mountain climber
Littleton
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Jul 21, 2008 - 11:47am PT
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Let's put the shoe on the other foot and see if it works.
Woman says to a man, "You're amazing and I've had my tubes tied." Or "You're amazing and I've had a historecomy."
Eeek!!! Not so sexy, is it? :-)
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Jul 21, 2008 - 11:53am PT
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Especially if it's spelled historecomy!
Sorry Beatrix, I'm a spelling prevert!
:-)
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blackbird
Trad climber
over yonder
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Jul 21, 2008 - 12:23pm PT
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OMG, that's hilarious! I hurt myself laughing, and that ain't a good thing right now since I just DID have a hysterectomy 4 weeks ago!!
And yea, I'd think about modifying the pick up and simply stick with the "you're amazing" part... much better chance of reception, and as SS/TR said, ain't no one in their right mind gonna hook up w/o covering up!
BB
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Beatrix Kiddo
Mountain climber
Littleton
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Jul 21, 2008 - 12:28pm PT
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Steve that's funny. I have fat fingers and can't spell.
That could be a line in itself, right?
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Jul 21, 2008 - 12:51pm PT
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Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!! I gotta try that one.
I am Dr. Piton,
and I have been to see Dr. Scissors
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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Jul 21, 2008 - 01:12pm PT
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...so you guys are thinking that a smirk and relocation response is a "success?" I suppose in comparison to a nasty put-down or a beer in the face, maybe. But......
What woulda been reeeal funny was if she smirked and purred...in a singsong, low...manly....voice...."Take a walk on the wild side?" And move one barstool closer,that is, on his lap.
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Bart Fay
Social climber
Redlands, CA
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Jul 21, 2008 - 01:33pm PT
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Success ? Its all relative.
As I recall, this woman was 'extremely stiking'
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couchmaster
climber
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Jul 21, 2008 - 01:42pm PT
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Best pickup line a woman used on me as I was getting too drunk in a bar and trying to get out of the corner she'd sort of maneuvered me into: "Oh No, YOU'RE coming home with me tonight" spoken as she moved closer and started rubbing my crotch.
And so it came to pass.
And it was good. Guys are so clueless generally.
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quartziteflight
climber
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Jul 21, 2008 - 01:59pm PT
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ha ha, funny, but lines like that set off the creep radar!
1)Don't try and pick up women in bars....
2) Don't try and pick up climbing chics. Bad odds. No offense to any of the ladies of supertopo.
3)Don't move to wyoming!! Unless you like going on safari:-)
oh yeah. Don't get hammered drunk. You may think your smoother than silk and colder than a iceberg, but your really just another drunk...
cheers
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 21, 2008 - 02:04pm PT
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yep. some boys are just clueless.
in this case though, my flattering comment to the gal was not aimed at 'the target'. i am married to a sweet hearted girl, whom i couldn't tramp on.
i was just having fun with the moment. if i seriously was in pursuit, i'm sure i would have fumbled it a great deal.
once, at a company outing, a coworker visited my hotel room in the wee hours. she was wearing some twisty rope type lingerie?? (undergarments), and she asked me if i knew where she could find some food. i was single at the time, and very young and clueless. i told her she shouldn't be cruising the hallways dressed like this (her husband was asleep two doors down) and that i would help her find the vending machine. anyway, she wanted attention and i failed to rsvp her invitation. in hindsight im very glad, but i seriously missed her cue.
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Ouch!
climber
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Jul 21, 2008 - 04:55pm PT
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My favorite pickup line.
You have lovely teeth. I bet you could bite a hog's ass through a rail fence...or bite the core out of an apple without busting it.
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