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couchmaster
climber
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Woman I use to live with also had Seasonal thing you have L. She needed sunshine in the worst way. RIP Betsy.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
God damnit all. sniff. Life is already too short.
May God bless and keep you always, may your wishes all come true.
May you always do for others and let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young.
Forever young, forever young, may you stay forever young.
May you grow up to be righteous, may you grow up to be true.
May you always know the truth and see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong.
May you stay forever young.
Forever young, forever young, may you stay forever young.
May your hands always be busy, may your feet always be swift.
May you have a strong foundation when the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful, may your songs always be sung.
May you stay forever young.
Forever young, forever young, may you stay forever young
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Flip Flop
climber
Earth Planet, Universe
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You could start producing "I Hate New Zealand" Videos.
Well, I ain't always right but I've never been wrong.
Seldom turns out the way it does in a song.
Once in a while you get shown the light
In the strangest of places if you look at it right.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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Loco de Pedra
Mountain climber
Around the World
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Hi, Below some tips. This is very serious and you are not alone.
1- Go find a professional counselor ASAP. If he(she) is good, they will be able to open up some good insights and strategies to deal with these feelings.
2- Attention with prescribed drugs and anti depressants. Many drugs( specially the ones dealing with Serotonin) might cause this thoughts and feelings. Consult your doctor if you notice this.
3- Ive learned that the best way to deal with negative emotions is by physical movement. Go clean your car, go for a bike ride, hiking, gardening is really good too. Keep moving, get out of your screen - ipad, pc, phone, etc: those make anyone depressed if used too much.
4- You are not alone. Call your friends, speak up, get close to family and friends.
5- Gratitude: Make a list of what are you grateful for. I.e: the food you have, your home, your limbs, etc, etc.
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Tobia
Social climber
Denial
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Avery,
i don't know you at all, but i know your enemy all to well. You took a bold step in reaching out, especially on a forum. To me, that means you have the fight in you to not give in to the demon.
i don't have a clue how to win the fight, because it never ends. Professional help is a must, i have been getting it for 40+ years now.
Love from others and their company is the only dependable, 100% percent effective weapon. No matter how much you know that is true, you will resist it, but don't, as they are angels of mercy.
i feel like my words are hurting more than helping, but i am posting because i am trying to take my own advice right now.
As Loco de Pedra recommends, physically exhausting yourself is a major weapon. A life long deterrent for me.
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MikeL
Social climber
Southern Arizona
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Avery:
How’s it going now?
For me, looking into the abyss shook me to my core. My soul got separated from me at one time, and I looked closely into a place looking for it, perhaps as you.
What I saw was a mystery that struck me dumb. There were no words to describe what I was feeling and where I was looking. (I note today that there are many things that dumbfound me in total astonishment and amazement, especially outdoors: mountains, waterfalls, lightning strikes, etc.) Second, I came to see my feelings as an obsession, and what what an enticing and alluring obsession it was. It’s weird to say, but deep melancholy can draw one in like a whirlpool to something that “the eye hath not seen nor ear heard.” Third, for me at least, the sight into the abyss was horrible and repelling when I looked in closely. It presented an overpowering might, majesty, and dread. Altogether, I felt unworthy, guilt, a need for atonement, an impulse to set things right. Instinctively, I reached out to my mom, who got my dad to be with me for a time, and we just ended up sitting with each other saying nothing.
From thereon, for me, things got better. My experience was temporary. But I was left with a lasting impression of something that I can’t put into words or context.
Be well.
You can see that people love you.
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Avery
climber
New Zealand
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 8, 2016 - 04:39pm PT
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Heartfelt thanks to Loco de Pedra, Tobia and MikeL for taking the time to care.
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Flip Flop
climber
Earth Planet, Universe
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I care
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CopingJane
climber
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Bump for continued positivity for Avery.
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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[Keep on hucking away Avery. We all care. I see you are still posting up on the taco; glad to see it.
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Bldrjac
Ice climber
Boulder
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Patrick,
I just saw this post, and it disturbed me immensely. Scrolled to find your next post, and I was so relieved! But I'm sure this isn't an easy "turn on/turn off" thing for you. Like others, I would say number one get professional help. What works for me when things are bleak are that, and being outside. Trying to help others (like you do here on this forum!!!). Being with friends.
Sending you positive thoughts from across the ocean.
your friend,
Pam
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EdBannister
Mountain climber
13,000 feet
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Dec 10, 2016 - 12:51am PT
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Patrick,
great music is powerful.
stay around people that lift and inspire
stay away from those that do not
you have no way to measure how many people appreciate you,
or whom you have affected for good.
can you make time for a walk and talk?
make a new friend?
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Don'tKnowHim
Social climber
California
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Dec 21, 2016 - 11:40pm PT
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Well, supposing that you have NOT already succumbed to the "deed," I would offer a STRONG suggestion that you do not do so.
All major religions at one time or another have supported the concept of reincarnation. Why take that chance?
If this is true, one would only face the same/similar circumstances in the next "life." Best to "deal" with it now, what ever the circumstances are.
As an old fug with a lot of "crap" to deal with, believe me, it's not worth it. If you want to discus it further, message met.
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Climberdude
Trad climber
Clovis, CA
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Dec 22, 2016 - 06:17am PT
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Spirit
I thought I'd found a reason to live
Just like before when I was a child
Only to find that dreams made of sand
Would fall apart and slip through my hands
But the spirit of life keeps us strong
And the spirit of life is the will to carry on
Adversity what have I done to you
To cause this reclusive silence
That has come between me and you
And the spirit of life remains in light
And the spirit of life remains inside
I never thought it would be quite like this
Living outside of mutual bliss
But as long as the veins in our arms will stand up
The spirit of life will keep living on
Dead Can Dance
A Passage In Time
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hossjulia
Trad climber
Carson City, NV
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Dec 22, 2016 - 06:31am PT
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Be careful about calling those hotlines. Usually means a cop will show up at your door. I'd call a good friend first. Have a nice long honest discussion.
Worked for me. When I started going through scenarios to make it happen, I knew I was in trouble. And as fate would have it, a good friend called ME, because she was going through something similar. We talked, and cried together, for over an hour. It worked for both of us, back to the grindstone and frankly, happier than ever.
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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Dec 22, 2016 - 06:55am PT
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hey there say, hossjulia... what a good share... THIS really does set
a new trail for many folks--being along, we don't SEE the whole picture...
we need someone else, or we'd dig around in the same hole... when we SHARE THE MAP of where we need or want to go, and others that have had those hard trails, we START to get somewhere... in life, we DO need the very
important OVERLAP:
the kinds where when we DO, we see that really, in life, we are all the same:
we have weakness and hurts, yet--we learn that we HAVE the resources
to adjust and use our EMOTIONS to help each other and come out stronger...
if we DARE to share, and ask for advice along the way, and test out,
which is BEST for us...
keep up the good trail, avery...
you will make it, just don't give up... :)
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Dec 22, 2016 - 06:59am PT
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Hoss, Avery lives in Kiwiville where even if they did send a copper I would expect said copper
to be considerably compassionate and more likely to engage one in a healthy chat than do
anything negative.
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Tobia
Social climber
Denial
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Dec 22, 2016 - 08:28am PT
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Avery,
It's a tough time of the year for trying to cope with life and find reasons to stay alive.
I struggle with it like a juggling act. I wish I had some awe inspiring words for you, but I don't. I can't find them for myself.
Send me a personal email and let's talk. tobiab56@gmail.com
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