Discussion Topic |
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susan peplow
climber
Queen of the Sh^t talkers!
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 27, 2006 - 11:08pm PT
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It's best to stay on the mans good side as this one came with hand gestures.
"f#uck you, ya pussy"
Keep 'em coming Werner! Your quotes have long lived many climbers careers and provide the utmost enjoyment.
xo,
Susan
edit: upmost does not = utmost. But Rajmit does = idiot! Damn spell check.
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Russ Walling
Social climber
Out on the sand, Man.....
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Jun 27, 2006 - 11:13pm PT
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Werner in all his mystic glory once told me (speaking of reincarnation):
"...you're going to come back as a urinal, man"
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Jun 27, 2006 - 11:15pm PT
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My all time Favorito:
"Fish Man, Bwa, the way you behave you'll be reincarnated as a urinal!"
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Tarbuster
climber
right here, right now
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Jun 27, 2006 - 11:18pm PT
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Fish,
beat me to it,
shucks.
rats.
How about "The Rock will pull you up like a mother clings to her child..."
There that's nice.
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Russ Walling
Social climber
Out on the sand, Man.....
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Jun 27, 2006 - 11:24pm PT
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There are so many......
The classic was when they were bringing in a new bathroom into Camp 4 on a giant crane. We are all standing aorund watching with a small crowd of tourists......
the crane is making some hella noise as you can imagine...... the new bathroom gets lowered to the ground in place and the crane shuts down... Werner did not have his ears on, so he had no idea that it was now completely silent...
he pretty much yells as loud as he can..... "I'm a go in there and take a B I G shiit! "
All the tourists eyes popped out like they were on stilts and we start busting up...
then he leans over and whispers to me asking, "..... was that way loud???"
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Patrick Sawyer
climber
Originally California now Ireland
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Jun 28, 2006 - 05:13am PT
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I haven't seen or talked with Werner (except on this forum)since, oh 1976 or 77, so I can't recall many, especially since I didn't hang out with him hardly at all. But he has had some choice ones on this forum.
Hey, I thought we weren't going to mention what's his name anymore.
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ron gomez
Trad climber
fallbrook,ca
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Jun 28, 2006 - 09:29am PT
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"Good Morning....uh got a cigarette?" I don't smoke cigs, so I'd go to Kostya (russian climbing partner) get a cig and bring it to Werner. He had me well trained...for about a week.
Peace
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nb3000
Gym climber
Oakland, CA.
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Jun 28, 2006 - 01:21pm PT
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"I'm a go in there and take a B I G shiit! "
So, was Werner the first to bless it?
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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Jun 28, 2006 - 02:32pm PT
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"Hot shot kid, show us how it's done!"
To Cos, @Owl roof, circa 1984.
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Elcapinyoazz
Mountain climber
Anchorage, Alaska
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Jun 28, 2006 - 09:44pm PT
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"If you ladies leave my valley, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, f*#king beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian sh#t. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved YOSAR. Do you maggots understand that? "
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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Jun 28, 2006 - 11:20pm PT
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Full metal jacket, R Lee Ermy.
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Russ Walling
Social climber
Out on the sand, Man.....
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Jun 29, 2006 - 12:45am PT
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Another is that it is derived from Hell + of + a, slang originating in the San Francisco Bay Area in the early 1980s, now used commonly by youths from Northern California.
some HELL OF A noise ie: " the crane is making some hella noise"
Works for me...
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Russ Walling
Social climber
Out on the sand, Man.....
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Jun 29, 2006 - 01:05am PT
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some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella
some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella
some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella
some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella
some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella some hella
take one more hit on the pipe and go to bed.... bet it is SOME HELLA good weed
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Slakkey
Trad climber
From a Quiet Place by the Lake
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Jun 29, 2006 - 01:07am PT
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How did I know that was going to happen?
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Russ Walling
Social climber
Out on the sand, Man.....
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Jun 29, 2006 - 01:28am PT
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really... go to bed.
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Leroy
climber
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Jun 29, 2006 - 09:53am PT
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Not exactly a quote, but one time Werner was helping me work on my car in the dead of winter.He says we have to cut this wire. I´m desperate.I say OK cut it.Werner gets nervous.Saying ,Are you sure.Are you sure.I say ,Ya cut it.He cuts it.Never runs again .Bought a Volvo next day.
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WBraun
climber
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Jun 29, 2006 - 10:50am PT
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Leroy hahahah
That Mercedes was awesome ....
And Russ, hahahaha that was a hella answer
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Russ Walling
Social climber
Out on the sand, Man.....
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Jun 29, 2006 - 11:08am PT
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hahaha... true! or Werd... or Hella Werd or that was SOME HELLA WERD Werner.
Werner = Macgiver
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Jingy
Social climber
Flatland, Ca
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Jun 29, 2006 - 12:05pm PT
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Russ, that was hella funny. Speacially that part about the crane making a hella noise.
Luckily, I totally understood what you meant, and didn't need to be told, like another on this forum.
T*R, smoke another bowl of that hell-of-a fine weed, your too much..... and go back to bed.
Don't have a Werner quote, I'm gone.
Jin gy
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Spinmaster K-Rove
Trad climber
Stuck Under the Kor Roof
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Jun 29, 2006 - 03:17pm PT
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You can definitely have 'some hella' cause in that context it means 'really.'
D
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Largo
Sport climber
Venice, Ca
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Jun 29, 2006 - 07:11pm PT
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One time around 1971 Werner, Luke and I were climbing the Slack at the base of El Cap, before it got beat out, and the jams were quite thin. I´m up about twenty feet up with no pro in yet and he says, "Man, how you gettin´ those fat fingers of yours in that thing." I guess it was the way he said it but Luke and I started laughing and I almost fell off. Finally I got to a good hand jam and got a nut in and Werner says, "Man, those things (fat fingers) make you dangerous."
JL
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jun 29, 2006 - 07:20pm PT
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"This sucks", or words to that effect, as he conceded a chess game we were playing in the lounge, sometime in the late 1970s. I was grinding him down with a classic clutch and grab defence, boring him and the audience (Bachar) to tears. Not pretty to look at, but possibly the only time I beat Werner at chess.
Anders
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Captain...or Skully
Social climber
way, WAY out there....(OMG)
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Jul 24, 2009 - 12:43am PT
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Ah, a freshie.
Freshies are Hella good, ya know?
As are Classics, like our good WBraun.
Some Hella, actually.
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T Moses
Trad climber
Paso Robles
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Jul 25, 2009 - 05:25pm PT
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Laughed until I cried after reading the bathroom installation post. Werner you are to funny.
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Gobee
Trad climber
Los Angeles
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Jul 25, 2009 - 06:06pm PT
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Werner how many terms as Mayor of Yosemite have you had...man you get it for life!
One time E told me this; I think Werner was talking to him, than he started to leave, someone was walking up, and he goes
"Every time I see That guy I run." The way he said it had me roll'n in the dirt!
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Jimmy S
climber
Granite State
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Jul 25, 2009 - 06:20pm PT
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"Wanna go do Astroman?"...
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Russ Walling
Gym climber
Poofter's Froth, Wyoming
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Jul 25, 2009 - 06:25pm PT
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This one has been told a hundred times.....
We are hanging out on the asss end of Werners LeMans, like we used to do all the time... doing nothing, maybe staring into his trunk which was always filled with cool shiit.... anyway.... this girl/woman walks by, probably a lost hiker from the Falls Trail, and she is girthy.... really girthy..... So she is walking right next to us there in the Camp 4 Lot and we are kinda checking her out, for science..... then..... it happens.
She isn't past us 6 feet before Werner basically motions toward her with his thumb and yells out, "Ho man!..... King Sized Momma!!!!"
She turns and gives us a 280lb look that could kill..... we are horrified and motionless.... luckily for us she quickly turns and waddles away. We can't even believe what just happened... and then Werner, as he does, sheepishly asks, "was that way loud??"
Ho man that was funny!!!
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The Real Perez Hilton
Social climber
Hollywood, CA
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Jul 25, 2009 - 09:23pm PT
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"Huh, those guys are fags!"
Werner's response when told about the first NIAD by John Long, Billy Westbay, and Jim Bridwell.
Same line later used by actor Sean Penn as Jeff Spicolli, in the classic movie Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Rumor has it that Werner is paid a hefty royalty every time this movie is on tv, or rented.
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Gobee
Trad climber
Los Angeles
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Ho-man that guy's is so slow I can't believe it!
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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My favorite:
Do or do not... there is no try
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Scott Cole
Trad climber
Jackson, WY^
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Punk Roy and I were descending from doing the Zodiac in winter during a big snow storm. We were walking the final steps to the road from Manure Pile Buttress and wondering how we were going to get all of our wet stuff back to camp when we heard a car running on three cylinders coming around the bend.
As I put my right foot into the road Werner's purple Buick (formerly Ron Piers's Buick) glided to a stop. The door opened and Werner said: "I figured you guys would be here about now".
Scole
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Scott Cole
Trad climber
Jackson, WY^
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When Roy suggested that the Buick was close to its end Werner pointed to the picture of Khrishna hanging from the mirror and said: "thats the only reason this thing will run forever man"
Scole
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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"Just go for it, man"
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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"The purpose of the journey is not to be swallowed by the dream ...."
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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"If you're thinking about it you're most likely not going anywhere.
If you're obsessed and you NEED to do it, you'll most likely going there."
Werner Oct 4th 09
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rotten johnny
Social climber
mammoth lakes, ca
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werner is riding the gondola on mammoth mt. , sporting a black leather jacket with skis in hand....a tourist ask him a question and werner doesn't hear him....the guy asks the same question again and werner still doesn't hear him....annoyed by the inaudible question , werner finally replies in full volume , f@#king turkey....!
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Srbphoto
Trad climber
Kennewick wa
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Oct 15, 2009 - 02:06pm PT
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Fresh off the presses...
From the "1977 Airplane Crash in Yosemite" thread.
October 13, 2009 11:13 PT
"This forum is a total fuking nuthouse ....."
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Gobee
Trad climber
Los Angeles
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Oct 17, 2009 - 02:21pm PT
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I ran across a post of pictures of the Yo'Valley, and Werner posted up:
"Nice pictures of the Yard!"
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Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
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Oct 17, 2009 - 02:33pm PT
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Like Russ, there's new ones off the press all the time.
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Double D
climber
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From the Ansel Adams negative found thread, "Modern photographers are way homo, compared to guys snapping a couple money shots with expensive film. "
LOL!
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Awfully funny, wasn't it DoubleD-cup. But say no more, Pilgrims. Werner Has Spoken:
from the "Werner: The Fourth Manifestation" thread:
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Captain...or Skully
Social climber
Idaho, also. Sorta, kinda mostly, Yeah.
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Whoa. That's kinda coolio.
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Nice one, Peter!
Personal Favorite; "New school guy threatens to get a lawyer and sue you, old school guy just walks over and kicks your ass." LOL
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James
climber
My twin brother's laundry room
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Where's the bong?
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Where did Werner learn the expression "money shot"?
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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He was in the industry?
What was his nom-de-porn?
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there, say... wow, russ, i just saw that quote...
have a great supertopo night... ;)
yep--seems, you are, at that... :)
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matty
Trad climber
los arbor
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Nov 24, 2009 - 11:15pm PT
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From the latest WOS sh#t talking thread...
"I'm unbelievably stupid and naive for even ever talking to you ....."
HA!
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Srbphoto
climber
Kennewick wa
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Sep 22, 2010 - 10:12pm PT
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You all should go to the turd world and learn something first ....
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Gagner
climber
Boulder
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Sep 22, 2010 - 10:22pm PT
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Walt and I were headed up to do the FA of a continuation of Super Nova to the rim ...
Werner was like - "hoo man you guys are going to need a backhoe"
He was right, we did..........
Paul
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mark miller
Social climber
Reno
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Sep 23, 2010 - 01:01am PT
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"It starts here and goes up"....Nothing else need be said. WB is a climbing fool. At least he mentioned where the start was......
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
climber
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Sep 23, 2010 - 02:53am PT
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I think I figured it out. . . Idiot savants are a group of humans that are incapable of learning, yet they have unlimited access to specific, accurate knowledge in precise areas. This group of individuals does not acquire knowledge as the average human does. They mysteriously 'know' explicit, exact, correct information.
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Srbphoto
climber
Kennewick wa
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Apr 12, 2011 - 11:55am PT
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A new one for the list...
You can eat good healthy food and live to 60,000 years and still remain an idiot .....
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Apr 12, 2011 - 05:41pm PT
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Are you sure?
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Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Apr 12, 2011 - 07:18pm PT
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These are just mental speculations...
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Apr 12, 2011 - 07:42pm PT
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I thought it was, "It is half physical but 90% mental."
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ELM !
climber
Near Boston
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Apr 12, 2011 - 08:09pm PT
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Not from Werner but one of my favorites "Remember there is no rehab for stupid".
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
merced, california
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Apr 21, 2012 - 06:33pm PT
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"It wasn't too bad being in a stupid rehab. I'll probably go back next week before I forget." Lindsay Lohan.
"Just try to think things through a little bit before you do them." Charlie Sheen's advice to Lindsay on impulse control.
Sounds like something Werner might actually tell someone. But it was a snot.
And a retort to Srbphoto, long overdue:
Only an idiot (make that idiots cuz there are way more than one) would want to live for 60,000 years.
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BooYah
Social climber
Ely, Nv
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Apr 21, 2012 - 07:52pm PT
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Most certainly, for my money.
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snakefoot
climber
cali
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Apr 22, 2012 - 01:56am PT
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while hangin in the valley in the early 90's and talking to werner about a route on lower catherdral
he says "it's not hard, just don't let go"
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well deserved obscurity
Trad climber
the ditch
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Apr 23, 2012 - 12:28am PT
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There's a callout for a broken leg at the top of Yosemite Falls on a summer afternoon. Clouds are starting to build when the call comes in. An hour later Werner and a ranger are near the top of the switchbacks, bent under their loads, heartrates maxed. The ranger's got about 60 pounds of slings and biners; Werner's got the litter- only about 45 pounds but its an awkward load, with the steel bars sticking up about a foot over his head.
Theres a bright flash and an immediate KA-BAM!!!!!! as a lightning bolt hits the wall just above them, the kind of percussion that bounces around your chest for a while. Before the last echos of the explosion are gone Werner, with just the slightest hint of smile at the corner of his mouth, looks over at the ranger and says with a calm, quiet voice "Hey Dan, that pack is lookin kinda heavy, wanna trade?"
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briham89
Trad climber
los gatos. ca
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Apr 23, 2012 - 12:55am PT
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Hey Dan, that pack is lookin kinda heavy, wanna trade?
perfect. i don't know the guy, but that is damn funny
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MisterE
Social climber
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Trying to explain higher dimensional reality to the lower dimensional beings here is futile. Like Ford trying to explain the motor car to the cave man ........
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Stephanie Bergner
Trad climber
Planet Send
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Heaven is sitting in a corn field watching corn grow ......
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apogee
climber
Technically expert, safe belayer, can lead if easy
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'well deserved obscurity'
That's a great avatar name!
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llk
climber
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May 10, 2012 - 10:17pm PT
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Bring yer rope and racks boys .......
sez it'll
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
merced, california
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May 10, 2012 - 11:09pm PT
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Captain Werner Braun here at the corntrols, folks.
I hope you all enjoy the close-up of the cornfiel
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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July, 2009
Get back here Lois and stir up some sh'it. This place is turning into a retirement and funeral home.
It needs some life .......
I've always preferred the "sheeit" spelling, but I am pro life.
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Tony Bird
climber
Northridge, CA
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can anyone fill me in on werner's relationship to "americans"?
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Tony Bird
climber
Northridge, CA
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he usually spells it "stoopid", though. could it mean something entirely different, like, maybe, a person of neuter gender inclined to stoop?
he has a german name, but he's not spelling it "stüpid".
bombproof syllogism there, btw norton.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Wherever you go there you are!
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
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Stooopid Werner made parachute too big .....
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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The Yogi Berra of the climbing world....a posistion of much prestige.
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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werner says americans are stupid
werner is not stupid, according to werner
therefore, werner is not an american
---------------------
"werner is not stupid, according to werner"
implies => werner says werner is not stupid
we can only conclude then that:
werner says (or would say) that werner is not an american
whether werner is in fact an american can not be determined from this line of argument.
I've always wondered why he goes by WBraun rather than the more appropriate wBraun.
Oh yeah, just sayin'
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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^Even a cat only gets nine chances. You've been revived way more than that, you are in a deficit condition now.
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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I think a more interesting question is how does one distinguish the stupid ones from the not stupid ones.
Teach a man how to eat fish and he consumes alot of mercury. Teach a man how to fish, he catches alot of fish and if not careful will consume alot of mercury.
Gonna buy myself a Mercury crooooze up and down the line.
Anyway once the methodology is obtained which would allow dividing up the world into stupid and not stupid, imagine the fun to be had.
Quick, get me the subset of all non-stupid zombies.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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If he was the Yogi Berra of climbing then he would say that "Climbing is 50% physical, but 90% mental."
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Rankin
Social climber
Greensboro, North Carolina
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Jul 16, 2012 - 04:51pm PT
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All of ya are pussies, all of ya.
Bitching and moaning at each other all day long every day.
A bunch of pussies
Caught this little gem yesterday. LOL. And so true!
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10b4me
Ice climber
dingy room at the Happy boulders hotel
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Jul 16, 2012 - 05:34pm PT
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It's impossible to clean the Valley.
It's full of dirt ......
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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Jul 16, 2012 - 07:37pm PT
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And there's lots and lots of women climbers out there in the world.
They will take over the world, because the men are becoming pussies.
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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Jul 16, 2012 - 11:30pm PT
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A stupid person is more dangerous than a bandit.
Yeah Herr Braun should be wishing he'd come up with that one (me too!).
Best of thread!!!! Should be required reading.
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
bouldering
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I led the entire Astroman once on a static line.
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10b4me
Ice climber
dingy room at the Happy boulders hotel
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Aug 15, 2012 - 03:23pm PT
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One of the main reasons women have moved into the arena is the men have become more and more impotent pussies.
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plasticluvr
Gym climber
ft lauderdale fl
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Aug 15, 2012 - 06:32pm PT
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Fire me a burger!!!
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Aug 15, 2012 - 06:57pm PT
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A recent gem:
The rest are all this way homo doom and gloom bullsh!t.
I can't believe the climbing world these days.
Or is it just this stupid supertopo bullsh!t always?
If I had to listen to all this wanking about the horrors of climbing here I'd never have done anything.
All it takes is a good brain.
Do you have one?
Or do you people always over analyze everything ad nauseum until you puke?
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Aug 15, 2012 - 08:53pm PT
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Werner and The Lug-Wrench Christians:
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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Sep 25, 2012 - 03:35pm PT
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from 1983
“Where are you from, Werner?”
“Same place as you, man.”
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jeff_m
Social climber
700' up
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Sep 25, 2012 - 03:50pm PT
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The proof is in the pith:
Why climb way homo?
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the Fet
climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
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Sep 25, 2012 - 05:14pm PT
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Maybe more of a story than a quote, but one of my favorites.
True story
Once on an El Cap SAR they put some stupid chick in charge of safety.
I was ready to rappel with a haul bag with a 1200 foot rope in it.
The stupid chick told me I can't rappel with the Petzl stop I was using because she's never seen one.
I told her to fuk off.
She had her harness on backwards just like the photo in SicMic's post on the previous page .....
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Hel la wah ling.
I don't own any rock.
Whatcha smokin?
And the latest gem: Back then guys were tough as 4 x 4 wooden posts.
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Don Paul
Big Wall climber
Colombia, South America
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I'd like to hire Werner to stand in for me in court sometime, when I have a really bad case. Just go in there and tell everyone to f*#k off. Maybe it would work.
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Anastasia
climber
InLOVEwithAris.
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I introduced Werner to my kid two months ago. He walked to the truck, and looked quizidly at Aris and immediately took to my dog who tried to block him. When I pushed Loki back while she insisted on kissing Aris to show her adoration... Well, the kid giggled and then looked up and smiled at Werner.
That is when Werner gave his approving nod and said... "Not bad kid." Then looked at me and said. "He's a smart one."
I still don't know if he was talking about Aris or Loki. I have a sneaking suspicion it was about the dog. She is dang smart. :)
AFS
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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We really need a "Quotes of Susan Peplow" thread!!!!1
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ms55401
Trad climber
minneapolis, mn
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isn't every WB remark a rehash of the "Americans are stupid, not enlightened like me" shtick?
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Ihateplastic
Trad climber
It ain't El Cap, Oregon
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^^ Kath, THAT is Werner is a nice succinct package!
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neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
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hey there say, all....
just saw this... perhaps it may be added here:
Real men pound pins & foundations are not made from glue
*werners 'thread title', ;))
edit: happy good eve, to you, werner... :)
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zBrown
Ice climber
chingadero de chula vista
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Oct 10, 2012 - 03:13pm PT
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Not a quote of Herr Braun, but rings a bell doesn't it
“God put me here to be of service to my mom and help her as she gets older,” he says.
“I don’t live here for selfish reasons.”
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Apr 28, 2013 - 10:49pm PT
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"A while back ole Leeper also had an article about all the new fangled belay devices, about how they were really hard on ropes because there isn’t much dynamics to the modern belay devices. He said modern belay devices provided a much harsher static belay than a more dynamic old school around the hip belay. He stressed that the old school method in the hands of an experienced belayer put less stress on a system than the modern static type [grigri, atc, etc.]
Thus the old school hip belay was superior.
That was classic Ed."
And that's classic WBraun. April 19, 2005: Leeper Ad in R&I.
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
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Apr 29, 2013 - 11:13am PT
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One can not eliminate anger.
If one tries, .... one becomes sterile ......
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
extraordinaire
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Nov 11, 2013 - 12:12am PT
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I've been hit by a non direct (high current flow down the wall) ... of lightning and (it) knocked me unconscious for a second.
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MisterE
climber
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Nov 21, 2013 - 12:38am PT
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Werner in response to *TR on why men don't wear engagement rings:
We are the original owner of the "ring". Why would we wear something we already own.
It's not something that can be purchased.
We give it away to you so that you finally really know .......
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Russ Walling
Social climber
from Poofters Froth, Wyoming
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Dec 21, 2013 - 01:16pm PT
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Don't worry about all these negative pussies here on this stupid forum Ron.
You did what you needed according to time and circumstance.
Fuk these stupid pussy ass losers here .....
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thebravecowboy
Social climber
Colorado Plateau
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Dec 21, 2013 - 01:48pm PT
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^does that one above knott encapsulate WBraun?^
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Dec 21, 2013 - 02:09pm PT
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We do not want the REAL Werner...
(Werner, siddown, ya loudmouth! What's that? Oh...yer right again.)
Aight, then, let me say that in a different way.
We do NOT want the Real Mayo of Supertopo to come in and take us to task.
The WBraun we "see" is the ones we "get." Be happy and go climbing, you idiots.
You follow me, then you likely follow him.
Tweet!
Quack!
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MisterE
climber
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Dec 23, 2013 - 01:42pm PT
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When did Jesus Christ ever die?
Nuts!
Christ can never die. Only fools think a bonafide nitya-siddha, eternally liberated soul like Christ is dead.
Even ordinary living being, he does not die.
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RyanD
climber
Squamish
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Dec 23, 2013 - 02:00pm PT
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Caught this one earlier today
Dec 21, 2013 - 02:40pm PT
Yep ^^^
When men were still men and women still did the dishes.
Not like now-a-days where men all want to be women and women want to be men ......
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Dec 23, 2013 - 02:03pm PT
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But it's true, innit? :0)
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
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Dec 31, 2013 - 01:54am PT
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Climbing is just another mundane fad.
Real men get on the magic carpet and fly all over the cosmic creation .....
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climbski2
Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
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Man is the most dangerous animal on the planet until he becomes a human being ......
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nah000
climber
canuckistan
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from may 10, 2005 in "The Real Reason Behind Chongo's Eviction" thread:
Stumbling in your fog of delusion you’ve come across the shallow stagnate pool of knowledge and reason that you have mistaken for the deep well of truth. You have simply jumped in head first and quickly broken your head...
You have no power to drive away this mist ....
hahaha.
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zBrown
Ice climber
Brujo de la Playa
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These are, my friends, the quotes of Herr Braun:
""
I know that he is one of the few of the Golden Era of Climbing who climbed with a boom box, but I cannot for the life of me see how his quotes are any different from yours and mine.
""
Discuss amongst yourselves.
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RyanD
climber
Squamish
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Feb 27, 2014 - 05:59pm PT
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ATC is too way homo for me.
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MisterE
climber
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Feb 27, 2014 - 08:24pm PT
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Those are great ones, Scott - thanks.
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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Feb 27, 2014 - 08:26pm PT
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-When eating a big metal bowl of raw spinach..
"Eat your spinach and you can be an astroman, too."
Saved my ass from the rangers:
"Ho man, they are looking for your buddy."
That one saved two from the John Muir Inn...even though we hadn't jumped anything. They thought that we were two other guys who did El Cap. I have no idea who they were to this day....
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pistis
climber
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Feb 27, 2014 - 08:45pm PT
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As I was pulling away from Werner while racing down a steep boulder slope...
"F#ck you and your f#ckin' 5.12 boulder jumps!"
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, CA
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Feb 27, 2014 - 09:28pm PT
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Werner is not 'smart'.
He's wise. Probably too profound for most, just sayin'. That being said, he's a dick. (I have to say that or he'll let my praise go to his head).
Werner is the King of Yosemite, Fish Walling is the queen. Hehe...
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Festus
Mountain climber
Enron by the Sea
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"Modern education = death of the soul.
Lifeless, sterile, bland, robotic zombies"
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zBrown
Ice climber
Brujo de la Playa
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Patrol didn't bust us that day because they were pussies sitting the shacks due to the weather being pretty windy and cold.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Mar 19, 2014 - 06:48am PT
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On his door:
"Do not let the cat out."
or sumpin' like it...
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MisterE
climber
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Jul 20, 2014 - 10:37pm PT
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The argument that there is some hidden spark, such as the religious notion of an eternal "soul," is where you step off of firm ground
"First of all it's not hidden at all.
You're vision is imperfect, perfect it and you'll see that you are not on firm ground ultimately.
Your knowledge is incomplete ......"
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BLUEBLOCR
Social climber
joshua tree
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Jul 20, 2014 - 10:46pm PT
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^^^ actually Base104 said that. Thays why it was in a quote box
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MisterE
Gym climber
Bishop, CA
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Bump for the daily special:
I got busted taking a shower in the shower house across the street from camp 4.
The housing aszhole called security.
Then the ranger came and said I have to see Judge Pitts.
Pitts says whata ya plead?
I said Guilty !!!!!
Pitts says; "Got anything to say about this?"
I told him everyone calls us dirty dirtbags and then when we try to clean up our act we get busted.
"WTF man!!!"
Everyone in the court room started laughing.
Pitts starts pounding the gavel.
"Quite in the court room!!!!"
Then he said: "$25 Mr Braun" and pounded the gavel again.
Hahahaha Ho mannnn .....
Classic!!!
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zBrown
Ice climber
Brujò de la Playa
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Now if he had said "That's Herr Braun, your honor and how much is that in Deutschmarks ?"
Then,
you've got a classic
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MisterE
Gym climber
Being In Sierra Happy Of Place
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Working with Jay Jensen at Swall Meadows yesterday, he told me he was climbing and Werner came up on him at the anchors on a route.
He had a couple cams in for the anchor, but SLCD's had just come out. Jay had a few more of them on his rack, and Werner starts grabbing cams off of Jay's rack and plugging them into the cracks, stating:
"If you are going to use this trickery, you have to use a lot of it!"
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
Goldenville west of Lurkerville
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Jensen works...?
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Oct 29, 2015 - 08:25pm PT
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He's living proof that English as a second language werks.
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rbolton
Social climber
The home for...
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Not really a Werner quote, more of a Werner story. I had just arrived in the valley in 1982/1983 after suffering through two years of living in the Boise area finishing college. The rig was parked, the rack was out and the cast of characters in the parking lot was assembled. Russ Walling was there, Buttshot McDonald was there as were others. Werner had just gotten a new set of small metal stamps. He looked over at the rack, saw it was marked with black and red tape and started in. “What is that sh#t? Tape is no good. These guys are all f*#k’n criminals! They’ll steal you blind. Here, gimmie that shit!” He proceeds to grab everything aluminum I own and stamp BB on it. I mean everything. I was waiting for him to go after the car. When he was done, he declared my gear sorta safe and wandered off in search of more things that needed stamping.
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rbolton
Social climber
The home for...
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Son of a Bitch! I was wondering where that one was.
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FRUMY
Trad climber
Bishop,CA
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Nov 13, 2015 - 07:37pm PT
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Bump
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MisterE
Gym climber
Small Town with a Big Back Yard
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Feb 11, 2016 - 09:16pm PT
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Bump for the Man!
It's a new year, with brand new denunciations of human folly! Yay?
Never lament, the Brawn - oops, Braun edict
will always supersede your skinny-boy-on-the-beach
lack of spiritual understanding.
He kicks cosmic sand in your puny diatribes:
"quest for life is in part a quest for 'god'."
You people are stupid, and you continuously prove it.
There's no quest for life.
It's already there perfectly.
All you have to do is study yourself.
Instead you fools study the machine and never study yourself.
Because the illusion is so strong you think you are the machine.
You're like the fool who studies the automobile and never studies the driver ......
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Feb 12, 2016 - 05:07am PT
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I've seen a few and recently a good one too
But I've got one from the past that. Heard him tell my friend
It went like this
"That was stoopid, sticking your head in a crack , that's no rest."
This was as the mud flap ear was in need of first aid after trying to cop a rest between tries
On 'a Separate Reality' by sticking ones head into the wide crack at the start....
But this is what his thread is looking
for
From largo's What Is Mind,
The Dude abides with this
If you slow down the heart you'll use less breaths during same time.
Life in the material body is measured by the breaths.
You only get so many and then your number is up.
When your number is up you get kicked out and then you'll be given a new body according to the consciousness you've developed in this life.
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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Feb 12, 2016 - 10:21am PT
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"New School climber threatens to sue you. Old School climber just walks over and kicks your ass." A classic referring to an incident where some chump was heckling Bridwell in the Camp 4 lot until...
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Majid_S
Mountain climber
Karkoekstan
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Feb 12, 2016 - 10:37am PT
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don't break my tool
here use this one
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Feb 22, 2016 - 12:29pm PT
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There's NO climbers here.
Just stupid politards, mental speculators, people wanting to go to Mars and court jesters.
This forum is dead ......
WBraun, climber Feb 22, 2016 - 08:54am PT
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
ne'er–do–well
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Mar 23, 2016 - 09:29pm PT
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I ran cross country in high school barefoot all the time.
I hiked from the valley to the top of half dome and back barefooted also.
I did barefoot bouldering behind Camp 4 on all the standard warmup problems also
It's no big deal at all.
Americans are generally just plain pussies and disconnected from the earth.
Their connections with nature is only lip service and hypocrisy.
In the third world people go barefooted in the rural areas all the time.
America is full of vain disconnected lip service people with so much destructive stoopid materialism .....
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MisterE
Gym climber
Small Town with a Big Back Yard
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May 13, 2016 - 08:01pm PT
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Bump!
That is a great one BIOTCH!
WBraun
climber
May 13, 2016 - 04:15pm PT
You modern Americans don't need a steering wheel anyways.
I'm kinda psyched the word "stupid/stoopid" was rarely absent!
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Mur of Opotrepus
climber
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I get to the entrance gate of Yosemite and look beyond to the world and get scared.
I then turn around and run back into the forest where it is safe.
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Studly
Trad climber
WA
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Nov 29, 2016 - 12:45am PT
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" "
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divad
Trad climber
wmass
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Nov 29, 2016 - 05:30pm PT
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says someone who clicked on to Quotes of Werner Braun...
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divad
Trad climber
wmass
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Nov 30, 2016 - 08:56am PT
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stoopid me
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Stupid Merican
climber
Crankloon, OH
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Jul 26, 2017 - 08:56pm PT
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Bump.
You people are absolutely brainwashed insane.
The NYT and CNN both had to say the Russian meddling was all made up lies by their own media.
NSA also said the whole Russian meddling as bullsh!t made up crap to distract you stoopid people.
Still you stoopid Americans are still propagating this total Russian bullsh!t as true.
You Americans belong in the nut house because you are insane and believe every bullsh!t story you are fed by the CIA news media outlets .....
There is NO hope for you idiots.
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rottingjohnny
Sport climber
Sands Motel , Las Vegas
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Jul 26, 2017 - 09:01pm PT
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Stu Pid.. That quote was in the " before he was smart " period...
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donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
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Jul 26, 2017 - 09:08pm PT
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Tami, from your excellent viewpoint on the high ground north of our border you probably agree with me that Werner's mantra "stoopid Americans" garnered a lot more gravitas on Nov. 8, 2016.
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drF
Trad climber
usa
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Jul 26, 2017 - 10:01pm PT
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Werner is always roight!
Quit being stupid ya moron
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G_Gnome
Trad climber
Cali
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Jul 27, 2017 - 10:30am PT
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You people have devolved into the world of nothing but pure stooopid.
You have confirmed your consciousness of nothing but stoopid cesspool of loons .....
Classic! And after reading some of the politard threads it is really hard not to agree with Werner.
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thebravecowboy
climber
The Good Places
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May 30, 2018 - 10:23pm PT
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I am almost as interested in Roseanne as I am in HRC. Page me up for three.
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HoMan
Trad climber
Wasteville,CA
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May 31, 2018 - 07:24am PT
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^^^^^^
Culo Vaqeuos
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Flip Flop
climber
Earth Planet, Universe
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May 31, 2018 - 08:11am PT
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If Werner could chill on the Astral Plane then he wouldn't need to be shampooing crotches around here. I suspect that he's sponsored by StuporTaco. .50p per post?
Thanks for the fist bump Werner. I respect your human incarnation
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mastadon
Trad climber
crack addict
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In the mid 70’s, Werner caught me carrying a pair of skis from my car to my tent in Camp 4 after spending a couple months skiing at Tahoe. He eyed me suspiciously and asked, as only Werner can, “How long are those skis?”
My response, “They’re 200’s.”
His response as he turned away in disgust, “Fukkin’ pussy skis.”
Makes me laugh every time I think of it...
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