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tarek
climber
berkeley
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May 12, 2006 - 04:35pm PT
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I didn’t know Jeff well, but he made an impression on me. In retrospect, my take on Jeff was off-base, and so his exit has shaken me up more than might otherwise be the case. Once, after I’d bugged him, he came over to train on a woody I had. He sat at the bottom of the wall twisting his neck sideways to scope out a line. After a while he lay back on the cushions. There was this patter about motivation and what he should do. Drawn-out “yeahs” and “I dunnos” probably meant a lot more than I knew. After 20 minutes or so, Jeff clearly wasn’t going to train. We chatted out on the street for a bit and he left. The incident made only a good impression because I admired that he did what he wanted to do and I took him as just a laid back California dude.
Several years later, we climbed at Sugarloaf for a day. On the way up I asked about the Climbing Magazine cover photo. Jeff said he had to dig pretty deep for the flash, that he’d wanted the photo to be untainted by hanging. He bent the curves on Highway 50. I was a bit gripped, but he clearly knew what he was doing. A week or so later, he called me from the east side. A tenant in a building Jeff managed in Berkeley had reported a leaky roof. “It’s the roof drain,” he explained, “could you go over there and unplug it?” He went on to say that he didn’t want his girlfriend to do it because the ladder reached well short of the parapet wall and you had do make “a move” from the last rung, using the corner of the building for balance. On the way to Sugarloaf, he’d mentioned that he was happy to have his cell phone so that he could deal with these issues from the crags and keep climbing. Looking back now though, given the way he boosted back to town even after I’d unplugged the drain, I figure he took things pretty seriously.
A few months ago, I ran into Jeff at the gym. He seemed overwhelmed by the work that needed doing on a house he’d bought. I went by there a few days later and he presented the job with a layer of complexity and projected difficulty that was alarming to me, but I just assumed that he’d California-dude himself through it and be out there in a hot tub in a year or so. Thinking that you could have done something more to help can be a self-centered exercise, and I wasn’t around Jeff enough to have those thoughts anyway. But it’s still sobering to realize what I missed.
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klinefelter
Boulder climber
Bishop, CA
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May 12, 2006 - 07:33pm PT
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Sometime in the late 80's, I was on the chase crew for a group of pilots during The World Hang Gliding Championship in the Owens Valley. Jeff and my brother Kevin were part of our team, and I was blazing up highway 6 towards Nevada to stay ahead of the them, when I got a distressed call from another pilot, Kari Castle. She was near White Mountain Peak when got hit hard by some gnarley air. Her glider crumpled up and she was plumeting down, but managed to successfully throw her chute. She called out on the radio while she and her glider tumbled towards the mountains under a tiny reserve chute - not a good situation, but she managed to relay her location.
Our team heard the call and located her near Barcroft Peak. I flipped the truck around and headed up Silver Canyon for a hastely planned self-rescue, while three pilots in the area made incredibly risky landings on the 13,000 foot summit to assist in the rescue. Landing a hang glider on top of the Whites in the middle of summer would be like soloing greasy 5.11.
Jeff, as you might have figured, was one of them - probably thinking this was his chance to be Prince Charming and save the damsel in distress. They portered Kari out to the road where the truck waited, and we completed a nearly flawless rescue in a matter of several hours.
Here's a picture of the carryout, Prince Charming on the right. Like Russ said above, Jeff was cool beans. And on that day, he was a hero.
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friendly hands
climber
SF cali
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May 13, 2006 - 02:39pm PT
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Like all here,my condolences to all who were touched by Jeff
My 1st impression of Jeff was of a kind, but deep minded man that always looked like he had a secret. I remember drinking wine at Roshambo winery in sonoma with him talkin about this beloved sport. The secret I found out later was of his routes on sonora pass on 5no6...I still have'nt found those f*#kers, and it's not out of my lack of trying. He asked me to go and check them out, wanting me to confirm his grades-knowing I have a place in my heart for the area . So,bueller,bueller.. anyone have info on these routes as far the approach from the LW? I would like to get on them like I promised him last year, for him . mike whipple
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stickyshoes
Sport climber
Oakland Ca
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May 13, 2006 - 03:42pm PT
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I am very sad to have heard the news today. My condolences and best wishes to Deb and his family. I have always thought of Jeff and Deb as a great couple and can only imagine how this must be devastating for her, and his close friends.
R.I.P. and asfe journey.
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jim thornburg
climber
el cerrito, ca
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May 13, 2006 - 04:22pm PT
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Mike Whipple asked about some of Jeff's routes on Sonora Pass highway. This is one that is absolutely brilliant - I told Jeff I thought it was the best route at the lost world (sorry Tom!). It's pretty hard, also. The first pic is on the lower crux (12ish) the second pic is the classic dyno crux near the end. It's on the right as you descend the canyon on the approach. There is a 5.10 approach pitch, and the second pitch is easy to spot - a beautiful wall with orange and yellow lichen streaks.
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Santelices
Trad climber
Victor, ID
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May 15, 2006 - 08:36pm PT
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Dear Friends,
It's great to read everyone's stories about Jeff. I moved away eight years ago now, and have not seen him since. I used to run City Rock, back when it existed, and have many fond memories of "growing up" around some very incredible people, Jeff among them. I remember years ago Schneider made up a partner list that he called "Big Time Climbers List." I was never a great sport climber, better at trad and big walls, so was bummed when I didn't "make the cut." I was bummed until I saw Jeff's name on the list and realized the level that was required to be on it. Schneider had also put a description of each climber next to their name. "Bad belay when women are close," he had put next to Jeff.
Jeff always seemed to be on the periphery of my own social network in those days. I did have the chance to sit and talk to him on a few occasions, and really enjoyed his intelligence and laid back attitude. I was also impressed by how much he did at a very high level. Now that I think about it more, Jeff was my landlord for a while when I rented a room from Shari (can't remember her last name...) right near campus.
Thanks to Bill Walsh for alerting me to Jeff's passing. To Jimi T, Heather B., Schneider, Amelia, Mike P., Deb and other family and friends- all my love. I'm sorry I can't be there to give you all a big hug.
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Matt
Trad climber
places you shouldn't talk about in polite company
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May 15, 2006 - 08:49pm PT
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one of the last times i saw jeff, just a few weeks before his death, he and deb came into a spot where my wife and i were eating to say hello. they were spending the weekend in a meditation retreat and had a short break for lunch.
i remember very clearly jeff's reaction when i asked him how he liked the meditation retreat- he responded without pause or expression, "actually, it's kind of tedious".
it was laugh-out-loud funny
(maybe you had to be there)
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The Light Within
Trad climber
Not Important
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May 15, 2006 - 09:57pm PT
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sorry sorry sorry.
suicide and death, especially of the young is never forgotton.
much to learn in years to come with this experience.
for me;
I thought about it everyday for months.
But I got help.
I found "safe" people to talk about it...can't talk to just anyone about this very personal thing.
Feeling very "stuck" that there is no way out, that it will be like this forever...ITS NOT TRUE!
can't snap out of it?
can't be happy like before?
Like a festering wound, it will get worse before it gets better;
that's how healing occurs....slowly slowly slowly like ascending a mountain in thin air for a view of the world.
A new thought, one gentle sparkling thought will come in for one day. That is the gift....for that day....
So you hang onto that one thought and let the other bad thoughts go through.
DON'T TAKE BAD THOUGHTS SERIOUSLY.
IT WON'T BE LIKE THIS FOREVER, NO MATTER WHAT YOU MAY "THINK"
People who love you will be scared if you mention how you feel;
find someone "trained" in listening. And talk talk talk about all the fear, and pain and grief and sadness that has been there.
Things may feel they will never get better; (they will in time)
Things are changing inside of you...like shifting sand reforming and recreating and deepening a very skilled landscape; even more beautiful and authentic than you could imagine.
I have been there, done that attempted and lost feeling of pain. Now I am out of it...9depression with suicidal thoughts). It took some work. Time.
I learned to take care of myself.
Something better was coming I could not embrace.....at that time.
People and relationships and love and life become more valuable and other "things" are not. Its like a new perspective on what is important in life will emerge.
Wait.
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simrob
Sport climber
somewhere
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May 16, 2006 - 12:55am PT
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Radical, you said "There are a number of reasons this is happening to climbers more then normal folks and I want to talk about it." Why do you think this is the case?
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Crag
Trad climber
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May 19, 2006 - 08:44am PT
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simrob,
I don't know why, I'm a survivor myself and I've always had trouble putting it into words let alone trying to make sense of the darkness and pain that pulled on me for so long. Ironically, I attribute climbing as a savior of sorts. The beauty and the harshness of it really helped clarify things for me. When life gets dark and I feel those all too familiar feelings rear their ugly head I take to the stone. Perhaps my approach is not the best and I should seek alternative treatments as many have encouraged me to do so.
My condolences to Jeff’s family and friends may your delightful memories sooth your pain.
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Sumo
Trad climber
Pleasanton, CA
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May 29, 2006 - 03:59am PT
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First, my condolences to Jeff's friends and family. Deb, Steve, Jo, et al... I can only imagine the suffering this has brought. I am truly sorry for your loss.
In the hope that this can assist some in understanding, please allow me to digress. I have struggled with mental health issues for as long as I can remember, and it's only been the last 3+ years that I've finally gotten some relief. I never made a serious attempt at suicide, but seriously considered it several times.
Many around me saw me as angry, depressed, or crazy. Others felt that if they could just say/do the right thing, or avoid saying/doing the wrong, they could stop me from hurting myself. They were, for the most part, completely wrong.
I was in pain, all the time. The fears and ever-oppressive anxiety was a constant pounding at my psyche, and while certain actions and efforts of others helped to provide a lifeline at times, in reality there was little or nothing anyone around me could do. It eventually took a call to the police (by a family member) and an abusive night spent at a psych hospital to realize that I needed help. Medication has helped me; I'm lucky in that I've responded to it.
What I mean to convey from my experience is that your love and support of Jeff was the best thing you could have done for him. Medical help is wonderful, but it doesn't always work, and the nature of depression (or other conditions) is that rational choices aren't, sometimes. Suicide, for me, was about escaping the intense pain. Do not assume that there was a "cause", or that any specific action would have solved his pain.
I only met Jeff once, briefly. He didn't know me, and I didn't really know him. I grieve for him still.
My Condolences,
Jeremy Pulcifer
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Thomas
Trad climber
The Tilted World
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May 29, 2006 - 12:23pm PT
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Wow. Well said, radical.
"They try to live the life of a pro athlete on the money of a dirt bag."
So much of my stress comes from that very reality. I am not a materialistic person. I don't long for the possessions of others. But I am eager for experience: extended trips, far off places; and that takes money.
Debt, debt, debt...dark, dark, dark...
Thanks again to all of you that have posted your support for Jeff and shared your insight into such situations. You are helping. You are there.
Stay fit.
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Sumo
Trad climber
Pleasanton, CA
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May 29, 2006 - 02:11pm PT
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Radical, another thing that I discovered is that as a person that struggled with mental health/mood disorders, is that I valued the clarity, the single-mindedness of climbing. In a very immediate way, climbing is peaceful. Kindof an island of sanity. It becomes a bit of an addiction, almost.
Again, this is only from my own experience and perspective.
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suzy
Sport climber
Oregon
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May 30, 2006 - 10:41pm PT
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To all of you who were close to Jeff–
I'm sitting here in shock and sadness over hearing about Jeff's death. I found out from Jimi this morning– I suddenly had this flood of memories beginning with the early 90's when I first met Jeff at City Rock...actually, where I first met a lot of amazing people, who later became my friends.
My fondest memories of Jeff were when he and his ex-gf would come up to Truckee (where I was living with my ex-bf) and he would just hang out on our tiny little porch and wait for us to come home every Friday night...he'd have all his stuff out on the porch, and it would annoy the hell out of our neighbor...he thought all climbers were crazy– Jeff was always smiling in that mischevious way...and had stories to tell as soon as we arrived– we climbed up at Donner Summit most weekends, and it seemed as if one summer he was there most of those weekends. These memories bring back a lot of smiles and laughter.
It's really strange because I was out at Smith this past weekend for the first time in two years, after a long hiatus from climbing...and suddenly, I began thinking about a lot of people from my past, and Jeff came up in my thoughts. I wondered how he was doing and mentioned him to a friend...I had this curiously sad feeling all weekend, probably a culmination of being at Smith for the first time in a few years, but there was something else that I couldn't quite explain.
My heart goes out to all of you, and especially to you, Deb. I'm so sorry for your loss...I wish I could put my arms around all of you and give you a big hug! I didn't know about Jeff's depression, but I've had my own bout with depression, and it's a very lonely place to be. I send my love to all of you.
um abraco,
Suzy
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Deb Wolfe
climber
Durtongne
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There will be a memorial for Jeff Schoen on August 12 Tenaya Lake. Come prepared with your best stories to give tribute to Jeff.
We will gather at the eastern shore of the lake at 6 pm.
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Tom
Big Wall climber
San Luis Obispo CA
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Feb 14, 2007 - 12:14am PT
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Bipolar people often are not diagnosed, especially if they are borderline bipolar, and are exceptionally capable.
The mood swings are not enough to throw up a red flag.
They achieve great things, and the achievement blocks any other investigation into them.
Jeff may have been like this.
In the borderline manic phase, he is extremely capable.
And, in the borderline depressive phase, he is having a downer, or is feeling sad, or it will pass.
But, as he grows older, the downer phase becomes stronger.
His physical ability to take advantage of the upper phase become less and less.
And dispair sets in.
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jsj
climber
Boulder
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I just climbed Jeff's route "Lighten Up" on the Chapel Wall.
http://www.mountainproject.com/v/california/yosemite_national_park/yosemite_valley/106267603#a_106267608
I never knew Jeff, but I had admired this route from the Great Escape which is nearby. After reading his story, I felt a strong affinity for Jeff. I struggle myself with life and battle almost daily (or so it seems lately) with finding meaning and reason to go on. Even though the route wasn't super-classic, it was a meaningful experience for me to climb it and think of Jeff. Someone said in this thread that it often seems like the most sensitive souls are hit the hardest by the world but we should be lucky to have them at all... Thank you for that. It's funny how we can sometimes be so brave and strong on the rock and yet have such a hard time translating that strength and courage to the rest of our lives. I don't know you Jeff, but I love you and am thankful for your soul.
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jiimmy
Boulder climber
san diego
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Very weird. I was just thinking about Jeff when I saw this post.
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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Life.
To some given.
To some taken.
Life.
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couchmaster
climber
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Perhaps better written as "Life: from ALL taken" Lynn. Our turn will sadly come as well. Old friend Charles Reeves died a few days ago and I'm still thinkin' of him.
It just stopped raining outside so I'm out of here now. Take care all!
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