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frisbee
climber
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What do you call a black man flying an airplane?
A pilot, you racist.
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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TwistedCrank
climber
Dingleberry Gulch, Ideeho
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Huh? I don't get it.
Jesus jokes aren't offensive.
WTF?
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Just thinking about ST Posters!
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Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Farouk
re:
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philo
Trad climber
Somewhere halfway over the rainbow
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Far-ouk isn't far off from a deactivation. And that's no joke.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Jun 25, 2013 - 09:10am PT
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There was a young lady from Bangor.
An Aussie chap thought he might bang her.
Readied to make it Down Under,
He reckoned he’d made a huge blunder:
A Down East infection had wrecked his erection,
And he hadn’t a spare one, gosh dang her!
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thebravecowboy
Social climber
Colorado Plateau
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Jun 30, 2013 - 01:01am PT
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What's the difference between an epileptic corn-husker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
One shucks between fits.
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Onewhowalksonrocks
Mountain climber
In the middle of the ocean
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Jun 30, 2013 - 10:00am PT
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Ok Here is the show stopper.
A daughter asks her dad, "Can I use the car tonight"
Dad says " You know what to do"
The daughter pulls down his pants and says " There is sh#t on your dick"
Dad says "Oh I forgot your brother has the car tonight"
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AP
Trad climber
Calgary
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Jun 30, 2013 - 12:28pm PT
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Another very offensive joke:
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a Chinaman?
A car thief who can't drive.
Plus:
What is the difference between a mountain guide and a rooster?
The rooster clucks defiance.
5 year old looks up at his father and asks "Dad whats a pervert?"
"Shut up kid and keep sucking"
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go-B
climber
Hebrews 1:3
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Jun 30, 2013 - 01:52pm PT
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Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”
And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Aug 10, 2013 - 09:30pm PT
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What do Mrs. Claus & all of the female reindeer do on Christmas Eve when Santa is out delivering presents?
They go out to town and blow a few bucks :)
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TGT
Social climber
So Cal
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Aug 10, 2013 - 10:42pm PT
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how do you know when a blonde has had a bad day at the office?
She can't find her pencil, and
There's a tampon behind her ear
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squishy
Mountain climber
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Oct 24, 2013 - 01:11pm PT
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WHY YOU NEVER QUESTION A DRUNK
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket late one night where she selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, " 'Cause you're ugly."
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Larry Nelson
Social climber
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Oct 24, 2013 - 05:19pm PT
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A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'
She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'
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StahlBro
Trad climber
San Diego, CA
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Oct 24, 2013 - 07:23pm PT
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An old trucker has never been laid, so his friends chip in and send him to the bordello. When he gets there, he picks a girl and they head to her room.
She says "what is it you want?"
He says "Well this my first time and I don't know. What do you suggest?"
She says "I am a professional god dammit and you need to tell me what you want. Straight, 69, round-the-world..."
"I'll take that 69, whatever that is"
She gets him in the right position and gets this horrible gas pain. Pretty soon she farts. Then she cuts another one.
After awhile she says "How do you like it so far?"
He says "What you're do in' down there is wonderful, but I can't take 67 more of those"
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 24, 2013 - 09:04pm PT
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A sport climber puts up two new world class routes.
Bolts - $25.00
Shoes - $125.00
Rope - $180.00
Two trees whacked -
Priceless
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clinker
Trad climber
California
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Oct 25, 2013 - 11:01pm PT
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Why is it so hard for the coroner to identify bodies in redneck country?
There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same.
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thebravecowboy
Social climber
Colorado Plateau
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clucks defiance, classic!
what's the difference between an epileptic cornhusker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
one shucks between fits
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Larry Nelson
Social climber
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Bubba was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the Shadows.
'Twenty dollars' she whispers.
Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the heck,it's only twenty bucks, So they hide in the bushes.
They're in there for only a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is a police officer.
'What's going on here, people?' Asks the officer.
'I'm making love to my wife!,' Bubba answers sounding annoyed.
'Oh, I'm sorry,' says the cop, 'I didn't know'
'Bubba says, "Well, neither did I, til ya shined that light in her face.'
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