I need some jokes - short ones.

Search
Go

Discussion Topic

Return to Forum List
This thread has been locked
Messages 441 - 460 of total 1042 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
thebravecowboy

climber
The Good Places
Jul 30, 2016 - 10:56pm PT
BLUEBLOCR

Social climber
joshua tree
Jul 30, 2016 - 11:14pm PT
^^^hate is not a joke

and you aint brave!
thebravecowboy

climber
The Good Places
Jul 30, 2016 - 11:25pm PT
hey man I just shows 'em like I seen 'em.

Sorta like the cop and the Negro, eh?
clifff

Mountain climber
golden, rollin hills of California
Aug 17, 2016 - 05:51pm PT
Vertical Limit Guide to Climbing - Always place your nitroglycerin deep in your pack. Never tie it on the outside!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxtg7raPDYo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPVzfjXxF28

thebravecowboy

climber
The Good Places
Aug 18, 2016 - 05:22am PT
Two dudes walkin' down the street. They pass a dog sittin' in a doorway licking away at its own genitals. First guy says: "Man, I sure wish I could do that.".


Second guy says, "Lick a dog's balls?"
NutAgain!

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Aug 18, 2016 - 09:16am PT
I could tell you the one about a pizza, but it's too cheesy.
Gary

Social climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
Sep 13, 2016 - 07:07am PT
'I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.'

'I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.'
i-b-goB

Social climber
Wise Acres
Sep 20, 2016 - 07:48pm PT
What do you call an italian hooker?















A pastatute!
Lorenzo

Trad climber
Portland Oregon
Sep 20, 2016 - 08:30pm PT
Ever wonder why the NIH stopped using rats for their experiments?

They are using lawyers instead. They are cheaper, nobody forms emotional attachments to them, and there are some things rats just won't do.
Lorenzo

Trad climber
Portland Oregon
Sep 21, 2016 - 01:48am PT

Aug 18, 2016 - 05:22am PT
Two dudes walkin' down the street. They pass a dog sittin' in a doorway licking away at its own genitals. First guy says: "Man, I sure wish I could do that.".


Second guy says, "Lick a dog's balls?"
The way I heard it was.

" ok, but I'd pet him, first."
Gnome Ofthe Diabase

climber
Out Of Bed
Sep 21, 2016 - 05:14am PT
It sounds like going indoors to go climbing is no joke?

You might need to learn the ropes, Palm Down on the brake hand

Turn in you're (hero) Man card & put your 'junk'' in a jar when you go to a gym,

" No Creepy lookin'' at her or him.

Let's invade Afganistan . . . For the oil? . . . No, for the generation destroyed by Herion.

Coming in a close third:

It was 4am, I was still, and completely under the influence of a Big Ditch high.
Nothing quite like the end of a multi-day multi-climb, dehydrated August sojourn in the Valley
to make you leave your vehicle un-attended unlocked with thousands of dollars of kit
and in a urban neighborhood.



Edge

Trad climber
Betwixt and Between Nederland & Boulder, CO
Sep 21, 2016 - 01:36pm PT
Being from the backwoods of New Hampshire, I find that I'm still a bit socially awkward at times.

The other day, in line at the Boulder Whole Foods, I was behind a striking young lass who had obviously hurried in after hours in the car; the rear of her skirt was stuck between her perfectly shaped ass cheeks. Trying to do her a favor without causing a scene, I quietly pulled the fabric free from its sweaty confines. She promptly wheeled around and slapped my face.

You can imagine my embarrassment for having assumed that she wanted it out! Fortunately I was able to remedy the situation a few moments later when I did the logical thing and tucked it back in place while she fumbled with the credit card machine.
i-b-goB

Social climber
Wise Acres
Oct 2, 2016 - 04:38pm PT
A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.
It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.

"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?" They're
waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.

The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell
him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for
money."

The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom? "

His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes".

After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies,
what happens to them?

She said, " Most of them become taxi drivers! "
stunewberry

Trad climber
Spokane, WA
Oct 2, 2016 - 07:47pm PT
Donald Trump. Shortest joke there is.
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Oct 2, 2016 - 08:04pm PT
bentelbow

climber
spud state
Oct 19, 2016 - 06:27am PT
Two priests are out driving and get pulled over.
The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver “Sorry to pull you over father, but we’re looking for a couple of child molesters”
The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says—
“Alright officer, we’ll do it”
Edge

Trad climber
Betwixt and Between Nederland & Boulder, CO
Nov 9, 2016 - 11:19am PT
What goes, "clip clop, bang bang, clip clop?"






An Amish drive-by shooting.
JOEY.F

Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
Nov 9, 2016 - 11:40am PT
"Keep well watered."

But I don't have a well...
Jay Wood

Trad climber
Land of God-less fools
Nov 10, 2016 - 07:14pm PT
Child: "Daddy, how do stars die?"

Father: "Drugs, normally."



Officer fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job.

No exact details were given, but he was a high wanking officer.
John M

climber
Nov 10, 2016 - 07:16pm PT
Trump was right.

The Mexicans are building and paying for the wall.











To keep the Americans out..
Messages 441 - 460 of total 1042 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
Return to Forum List
 
Our Guidebooks
spacerCheck 'em out!
SuperTopo Guidebooks

guidebook icon
Try a free sample topo!

 
SuperTopo on the Web

Recent Route Beta