Sobriety (off topic or not)?


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Don Paul

Big Wall climber
Colombia, South America
Jan 9, 2013 - 09:28am PT
I'd second that about the two year mark. That's about how long it took me to not think about it anymore. Now I never do, and have no idea how many years its been. I know for some people it never goes away. Thank God I put a stop to it before I got that addicted.
Mark Hudon

Trad climber
Hood River, OR
Jan 9, 2013 - 12:09pm PT
I sort of feel bad for even posting since not drinking has been pretty much a non issue for me. I'll be having a bad day and will tell myself that I'm going to have a beer but when I drive past the grocery store I just laugh. My technique of just worrying about that first, single drink, has been good for me. I actually go days now and not even think about it.

Trad climber
Cali Hodad, surfing the galactic plane ~:~
Jan 10, 2013 - 02:40am PT
bvb - If you can get by the two year mark it gets really easy.
I tend to agree with that, in general/the more time the easier it seems to get.

But WOE, I had a close call tonight at Albertson's (grocery store). There is a bargain (hard for me to pass up bargains): Jim Beam 8.99 (750 ml.) when you buy 6 (regularly 12.84). Everything kinda hit me at once. First thing I thought was, "Hey, just a shot or two (or one whiskey & coke) after dinner each night, they would last me 6-12 months." ... Yea, sure!

It was a really close call, I was calculating the savings and was starting to drool. YIKES!!

I thought about this thread, and all the peeps I have known over the years that weren't as lucky as I that are nolonger with us (i think i told my story on this thread).

I have been sober for going on 30 years, but man, I felt the pull earlier this evening!!!

edit: if you get the Albertson's add (this weeks add) it is rght there in it; JB or Malibu Carribean Rum (i was thinking about getting 3 of each/it is gonna be a tuff week , since i live directly across the street from Albertson's).

I usually avoid that isle like the plague (licquor isle)...don't trust myself.

edit: Happie - "Congrats..." -- Thanks! And I hear ya (in regards to all those, "coming up on 90 day's"/battling the urge, etc!) my thoughts, hopes and prayers are with you, brothers & sister's!!

yea, i have had a few set backs over the years. it has been a long 30+ years. i cud easily get myself into big trouble once again. i think earlier this evening at Albertsons was a warning ( or something). not only booze, but anything else that might just happen along. i shud probably connect with something like AA or some kind of support group. thanks for the suggestion/hint Happie! :)

Trad climber
Jan 10, 2013 - 02:52am PT
Oh man - I can almost see that as one of those cartoons in the AA Grapevine magazine. "Our man" stopped in his tracks at the huge display of "Buy SIX and SAVE!" The sweat is flying off his face as he contemplates...

And then the grocery clerk comes by to restock, and says "This stuff has been flying out the door since we put it on sale, but I have to tell you, it's been tough for me, coming up on 90 days sober and restocking this display several times a day. I get off work in 10 minutes and I am heading straight to a meeting!"

"Can I come with you?" says....

Congratulations on passing up that "bargain" - and next time you go in, keep an eye out for that guy coming up on 90 days.

Trad climber
Jan 10, 2013 - 11:00am PT
thanks for the suggestion/hint Happie! :)

Wasn't any suggestion of that kind - Just conjured the cartoon thing in my mind when reading your post, and after I had written it I thought"Well, I know that next time I am looking at a big liquor display and waxing poetic, some shaking-footed AA colt or filly is probably going to show up in the image to save me from myself!

Ice climber
Pomfert VT
Jan 10, 2013 - 06:03pm PT
Coz, if you really Want to stop you can do it on your own. I drank pretty much every day for 30 years and managed to quit on my own. Recognize your trigger points of when you really want or need a beer and have ice cold Polar seltzer ready to go. calorie free, no sodium or any other crap but it is a fizzy cold drink in your hand that gets you past that hard moment..
Jebus H Bomz

Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh
Jan 10, 2013 - 06:32pm PT
It's still pretty early days for me. I gotta say I've had those "gee, I wish I could drink like a normal person" days, but I recognize my pattern hasn't been a healthy one. It's simply not an option.

So far, there has been no moment that's even come close to knocking down the wall. I have to look at the long term and avoiding letting down my guard though. Perhaps the slow creep of time and complacency will be the greatest challenge.

I'm not sure yet what I will do as far as joining a program. One source of strength I have is seeing my folks who have been non-drinkers for decades now. They just did it though, no groups, no nothing. Perhaps it'll be a bit different for me, so I don't want to close any doors.

I simply need to get buzzed on good conversation, music, and experiences now instead of turning to untrustworthy and unrewarding chemicals.

Trad climber
Jan 10, 2013 - 07:25pm PT
I stopped on my own the first time too....

It had been a particularly normal night -copious amounts of alcohol imbibed in, can't recall the last few hours, but that was normal... I just woke up the next morning and said "I can't keep doing this." I told my younger brother I was quitting and he gave me -a look - and snorted and said "yeah, right."

Well, I AM a Taurus, and that was enough to bolster my quitting! And I did!

I did start up again, though, but if you had asked me up til I had about 90 days sober in AA, I would have told you I had "been quit" for 5 years.

And it WAS about 5 years before I was back at the point I was that morning when I "couldn't keep doing this." But it had actually only been ONE year between that last drink, and the next one.

I still get a chuckle out of how I was able to see it that way all that time.

Ice climber
Pomfert VT
Jan 10, 2013 - 07:44pm PT
I have been totally sober since 8-25-06 no cheating ot telling myself lies. I puffed a tiny bit of herb about 3 times in that time frame. As far as I am concerned the puffs do not count because the weed is not my gig.. do not really enjoy it that much so not any kind of will power test for me..
Don Paul

Big Wall climber
Colombia, South America
Jan 10, 2013 - 08:08pm PT
what is the best way to stop drinking

Scott you could probably get a different answer from everone, but I'd say, if you're concerned about it, give yourself a little test. Just stop now and see if its easy or hard. If you find you have a reflex to run to the grocery store every night when you realize there's no beer in the refrigerator, then you have a habit. If it doesnt go away and every night you have the same idea of going out and getting a six pack, then you can decide whether you want to deal with it or not. No one says you have to. For my parents geneation, it was normal for everyone to drink every single night after work. I just made a decision to stop and stuck to it. I didnt have any group, and didnt particularly want to involve my friends or family or get labeled by other people. I would also not want to join a program that taught me I was helpless to cure myself and had to put the problem in God's hands. For me it was a matter of summoning the willpower, making a decision and sticking to it.

Jan 11, 2013 - 12:52pm PT
Intervention time, later today, one on one. Could go nowhere, could end our 10 year relationship but...Fukk it.

Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
Jan 11, 2013 - 12:55pm PT
Take someone with you, if you can, man. Hope it works out, those are never fun.

Jan 11, 2013 - 02:10pm PT

Jan 11, 2013 - 11:29pm PT
Great courage to you all.
If things get complicated
keep it simple
Don't take that first drink!

Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
Jan 12, 2013 - 01:42pm PT
For me it was a matter of summoning the willpower, making a decision and sticking to it.

The underlying problem for many alcoholics is misdirected willpower. Drinking is only a symptom. Willpower and "making decisions" and sticking to them like a man is not an option for a true alcoholic. This is a point of great confusion for many - believing that the issue is largely a personal decision, and that defaulting into "God" is a needless crutch in which we co-opt our personal power and personal dominion.

Many people who think like this struggle mightily with the idea of seeking a power greater than themselves - even when they are free to define it in their own terms. It feels like giving up, or quitting. But this is not it. At all.

The paradoxical notion of powerlessness gets the better of most all who have never dealt with it at depth. And even to those who have, myself included, powerlessness is a VERY slippery concept.

In my experience it has nothing to do with forgoing my personal power, rather it is a wide view of how little we actually control in this life of ours. And then finding something to do about it that increases our consciousness, humanity and relevance to our fellows.


Trad climber
Pollock Pines, California
Jan 12, 2013 - 02:05pm PT
sanity is a mystery.
it is a circle that doesn't quite close.
we intelligent beings are granted 359 degrees of liberty,
with one degree, undone.

that's my degree.
i cherish it.
i abhor it.
i scrutinize it.
i be it.

that one degree of insanity.
all life flows out of me,
enjoying venturi effects
with increased velocity and decreased cross section
i aint beautiful,
i aint grand,
i aint able to stand.

im sorry that i, by
choice must focus my energies on
the one degree that unravels me,
but this,
must be.

Mountain climber
Jan 12, 2013 - 04:10pm PT
Largo for the win.

Most people's understanding of what AA is is so inaccurate they end up drinking themselves into a miserable grave instead of letting go of what they think they know.

And some people just decide they've had enough and stop. Props to all groups. The end goal is to not be a slave to alcohol any longer.

Trad climber
Granite Mountain Wilderness
Jan 12, 2013 - 05:11pm PT
I just got my two month chip for the third time on Jan 10th. Seeing this thread and hearing from so many I respect has been a huge help during the insanity of, yet again, new recovery. Thanks to all of you carrying the message and here is to all that still suffer.
Much love,

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Jan 12, 2013 - 05:42pm PT
At one time I had enough 30 days chips to encirle the planet.
Don Paul

Big Wall climber
Colombia, South America
Jan 12, 2013 - 08:49pm PT
John, I just run away from people trying to covert me to their religion, even a really nebulous one that lets you define a higher power anyway you want, so with all respect that approach is a massive turn off. Athiests are not people who haven't spent time thinking about religion or the meaning of life, they just came to different conclusions, and their beliefs are just as much a part of their identities as others.

Another controversial remark I would like to make, is that marijuana has nothing whatsoever to do with alcohol, and using it should not make you return to drinking. In fact I think its a reasonable substitute for people trying to quit booze.
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