Sobriety (off topic or not)?

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Jebus H Bomz

climber
Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh
Jan 3, 2013 - 02:10am PT
Elcapinyoazz wrote:

This thread is a pretty good little repository of support for some of us. Probably especially for the non-joiners among us. It isn't likely you'll ever find me at some kind of organized AA meeting, but it's still nice to get the sense of shared experience and community from peers sharing their stories and trials here. And you don't even have to deal with bad coffee or chain smoking old timers.


It's funny, the only AA meeting I've gone to was for a class assignment. And I thought it was a cool thing, just not something for me. I don't know, I guess the whole non-joiner thing you mention is at work, and certain things that smack of religion, maybe focusing on the work of the program becoming its own self-serving addiction... I dunno, I don't want to slam something that obviously works for many. I heard some powerful shares from people, and the power to mentor others and truly help them is also something I respect, so I won't speak ill of something so undoubtedly good.

This thread is something that has served to give me the community support that helps back up my decision. My peers, people I respect, speaking to me. Sobriety, especially from alcohol has become something I must do, not something that would just be nice. It really came in a forced epiphany for me, where, finally, I could see the entire course of my addiction, all these experiences I had once viewed in a romantic light finally revealed for what they were. I was not sexy, brave, or funny, I was just a slurring nimrod who made bad decisions in the service of something he ultimately could not control. I wasn't getting away with anything like I thought. I wasn't the blessed exception. Not by a long road.

Maybe one day I'll get more specific, more helpful to those on the fence, but I also know that for people like me they'll have to go too far before the pathetic absurdity catches up to them. The power to fool ourselves is pretty impressive, and who knows how many more illusions of equal strength we each hold. But I will take this break in the chain for now.
drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
Jan 3, 2013 - 02:18am PT
Dude, you're a good writer.
Respect.

To everyone in this thread, respect.
Jebus H Bomz

climber
Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh
Jan 3, 2013 - 02:28am PT
Thanks, Jefe, I'm glad my writing is occasionally not just an egotastic wankfest. Respect to all who share in here is well-deserved, it is one of those special threads for sure.

Peace.
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Jan 3, 2013 - 02:36am PT
What Jefe said, JeebzBombz. Nice prose. Kinda descibes my experience as well. I gave AA a good whirl bt it took become completely spiritally and emotionally bereft for me to stop. And lord knows what tomorrow will bring. My track record over the last five years has not been good.
happiegrrrl

Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
Jan 3, 2013 - 10:29am PT
This thread actually reminds me quite a bit OF a NYC AA meeting! I will also say, I have never seen "NYC-style AA" in any other place I've been to, though I have never been to AA in any other very larger metropolitan area.

Sure we had some Bible Thumper, and crotchety "take the cotton out a yer ears and put it in yer mouth" meetings and AA'ers in the city, but for the most part, Agnostics and Atheists were as important to a groups strength as any traditional organized-religion viewpoint.

We also had the ones sharing who were not quit, but for some reason liked to be in the group(after all, we ARE birds of a feather!) and then the secret drinkers - stopping drinking and becoming part of a group, slipping but deciding not to say anything about it. Holding up a facade of sobriety but unable to stay sober. I had a sponsee once who was in that predicament. Luckily she did come clean, and man - what a surprise that was. I never would have guessed, except that she did seem to be having a rather negative attitude about life and people in general, which I though didn't seem to fit the path she had been on when she first came in(live and learn). It turned out prescription painkillers had been at the root of her stumble back into it).
illusiondweller

Trad climber
San Diego, CA
Jan 3, 2013 - 11:06am PT
It turned out prescription painkillers had been at the root of her stumble back into it).

Not true.

Elcapinyoazz

Social climber
Joshua Tree
Jan 3, 2013 - 11:13am PT
^^^
Don't be an as#@&%e, preacherboy.
pb

Sport climber
Redlands Ca
Jan 3, 2013 - 11:15am PT
climbing gets better too
Jebus H Bomz

climber
Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh
Jan 3, 2013 - 11:16am PT
Preachers be preachin' ;).

My father in law (an alcoholic) is a big benzo abuser. For him, it may as well be alcohol, he is losing his mind as a result of the side effects. Alcoholics love those benzos, I hear they hit the same neurological sweet spot: Because both alcohol and benzodiazepines act on the same receptor in the brain, they can lead to addiction and severe withdrawal symptoms when abruptly stopped.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/99157-alcoholism-benzodiazepine/#ixzz2GvjLEo81
dirtbag

climber
Jan 3, 2013 - 12:00pm PT
Lurker here...I salute all of you.

A lot of stuff hits home, not for me, but for someone close to me. Challenging, but maybe fruitful, times ahead--we'll see.
Pillowattack

Boulder climber
DC
Jan 3, 2013 - 12:01pm PT
Hey guys, thanks for the encouragement. Still sober and coming up on 21 months. Just got a really nice promotion at work - gonna be less work and a way more money (doesn't get much better). When I was drinking this never would have happened. I was so unreliable, selfish, and self-destructive that I would have probably been fired by now. It feels like I am an adult now at 27 which is kind of weird. Anyways, I've been going to some more meetings which has been good, I'll have to check out that mens meeting in falls church. Life is crazy these days with way more drama than I'm used to, but I'm getting through it all. Love you guys.

illusiondweller

Trad climber
San Diego, CA
Jan 3, 2013 - 12:14pm PT
The power to fool ourselves is pretty impressive, and who knows how many more illusions of equal strength we each hold


Remember, what I'm about to share is what continues to change my families lives, my friends lives, those that I don't know's lives, and even my own life. If there's documentation that it changes peoples lives for the Good, then it needs to be shared, whether it offends or not...get over it.

Here's what answered the question proposed by the quote above for me, and until I accepted this, the root of my "strongholds" (plural) couldn't be addressed:



"And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually."


"But they hearkened not, nor inclined their ear, but walked in the counsels and in the imagination of their evil heart, and went backward, and not forward."


"And ye have done worse than your fathers; for, behold, ye walk every one after the imagination of his evil heart, that they may not hearken unto me:"

"And they said, There is no hope: but we will walk after our own devices, and we will every one do the imagination of his evil heart."


"And it come to pass, when he heareth the words of this curse, that he bless himself in his heart, saying, I shall have peace, though I walk in the imagination of mine heart, to add drunkenness to thirst:"


"This evil people, which refuse to hear my words, which walk in the imagination of their heart, and walk after other gods, to serve them, and to worship them, shall even be as this girdle, which is good for nothing."


"They say still unto them that despise me, The Lord hath said, Ye shall have peace; and they say unto every one that walketh after the imagination of his own heart, No evil shall come upon you."


"for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth;"


"Behold, I know your thoughts, and the devices which ye wrongfully imagine against me."


"Which imagine mischiefs in their heart; continually are they gathered together for war."


"An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,"


"The wicked in his pride doth persecute the poor: let them be taken in the devices that they have imagined."


"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;"


"Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened."


"They also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things, and imagine deceits all the day long."


"How long will ye imagine mischief against a man? ye shall be slain all of you: as a bowing wall shall ye be, and as a tottering fence."


"For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: All these evil things come from within, and defile the man."


"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"


etc., etc.,etc.,


"Bible thumping"...as opposed to ones own chest thumping? Herein lies the "root" of a problem!
illusiondweller

Trad climber
San Diego, CA
Jan 3, 2013 - 03:03pm PT
^^^ Don't be an as#@&%e, preacherboy.


You lost me there Elcap...I commented that the quoted statement wasn't true.
Jebus H Bomz

climber
Reno, Nuh VAAAA duh
Jan 3, 2013 - 03:14pm PT
To each his own ID, I don't come here for the intonations of a patronizing preacher, I come here for words (not yours) that ring true and help me in my own search for truth. Get over it, to use your own terminology, and please stop thumping the bible strapped to your chest, it is not necessary. We all believe you believe you're enlightened already ;). I wasn't addressing myself to you as you believed, so you doing likewise would be a better use of your salesmenship.
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Jan 3, 2013 - 03:26pm PT
It feels like I am an adult now at 27 which is kind of weird

Good one, but a bit of advice from someone who has been around the sun many, mnany, many times, it may be better to act like an adult but always keep your feelings of youth!

Just a thought...

Susan

edit: oh yeah....incredible progress! Wowsa...
Pillowattack

Boulder climber
DC
Jan 3, 2013 - 03:36pm PT
Good call Susan! I definitely take myself too seriously sometimes. Its easy to take any problem that pops up and make it the end of the world, but it passes like everything else. Just gonna keep doing the things I love and trusting that life will work itself out.
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
Jan 3, 2013 - 03:47pm PT
Yo Pillow,
I'll have to check out that mens meeting in falls church.


Yes, absolutely. Even if you're on the other side of the river.
Unity Club has great people and schedules.
It's been a while, but as I recall there was just one or two meetings a week, in the evening, for this particular group.
But the level of sobriety in there was incredible, we're talking old timers with 30-50 years sober.
Of course you can get any kind of meeting you want there all week long, but that one really stood out for me.

Of course I always liked the n00b meetings too, because you got so many amazing stories from people that were still in the heat of the battle everyday....
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Jan 3, 2013 - 03:58pm PT
It turned out prescription painkillers had been at the root of her stumble back into it).

Not true.

Hey bonehead, please be aware that yo are starting to engage in the very same wierd and derogatory behavior, on the very same thread, that got LEB banned from ST. Please go away. This type of poorly informed rant is not welcome here.
Vegasclimber

Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
Jan 3, 2013 - 05:17pm PT
Interesting thread direction, talking about meetings.

I didn't go to an AA meeting until I had 2 years of sobriety under my belt. At that time, I was in a tough spot in life, and felt like I needed more support then what I could give myself.

I had a great time in AA for quite a while - got a sponsor, got a lot of motivation, and got to help out some fellow drunks, and get helped in return.

One of the things that I learned early on, was to find out what your triggers are - the things that make you want to pick up. One of my main ones is drama - I tend to get all twisted up in drama that I don't need to be in, to the point that it starts affecting me emotionally and physically.

Over time, as I got further into AA, I started to see TONS of drama that I just didn't want to be involved with. I tried a few different clubs, but in the end I couldn't find one without all the little cliques and relationship squabbles, etc.

After 3 years in AA, and 5 years sober, I stopped going to meetings and started to use the parts of the program that I felt would be the most beneficial for me. This isn't a path I would recommend, but February will be 13 years for me, so far it has worked out OK. I hope it continues to do so.
illusiondweller

Trad climber
San Diego, CA
Jan 3, 2013 - 06:11pm PT
Intonations? What are you talking about? I'd like to share just as everybody else is...and you're attacks, although I use to be offended by, are welcomed now, as long as I'm doing it for Christs sake. How can I win a battle unless I'm in the midst of it? Thank God!

I'm sharing an alternative reformation, Christ centered program which isn't for everybody. "Self enlightened"? You're lost bro, for I'm saved by grace, or getting what I don't deserve. I fall short every day, every stinking day, and since I still struggle with my addiction to this very day, you've obviously turned something that was said, against yourself.
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