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Gunkie
climber
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Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 21, 2015 - 09:02am PT
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I haven't gotten really good waves on the east coast since two back-to-back swells in April. Now Surfline is reporting 8-10 foot SSE swell with perfect winds late next week; Rhode Island reefs and points will be pumping for a couple of days.
I can dump work faster than a Patrick Kane wrist shot. But my wife's birthday is on the peak day of the swell, as currently predicted.
Do I...
1. begin conjuring up excuses now in anticipation of missing her birthday?
2. start my explanations now?
3. beg?
4. ask?
5. hope the predicted swell shifts in time?
6. I'm dead either way. Provide no advanced notice. Just go and deal with the consequences later? Like ripping off a Band-Aid.
Got more than a few days, but it's like trading options; time along with systemic conditions can accelerate the value of the positions radically in either direction without notice.
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Daphne
Trad climber
Northern California
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:08am PT
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plus 1 for what Jody said
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:17am PT
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What you mean ecat, is that YOU'D understand. solid overhead surf??? You gotta get on it and take the heat. I don't know about ditching her for a couple days though. How about something like this...
"Honey, how about we go to the beach for a couple days. You can take pictures of me from the beach and relax." Then take her out for good food every night.
I lost track a looonnnngggg time ago how many times I've gotten chewed out for chasing surf and being too long about it. Still married to the same girl.
edit;
So one time I went on an "approved" trip; nine days in Baja surfing our asses off chasing strong south swell in early September. Killer trip. Pull up to the house and it started "bitch, bitch, bitch...bla bla bla" ... on and on. I turned and looked at the guy I had gone with and said something like just go as this is going to last awhile.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:17am PT
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judy and the other absolutists
are ignorant and afraid
hence their politics;
that aside a little
bit of level headed communication
goes along way among
us more mature adults.
explain to her your plight;
hopefully she constructively
listens.
then hear her out.
now build a compromise,
or not.
this totally depends
on your couple dynamic
and since you're married
and though i know not
how long, i assume
a certain compatibility
between you that
will empower this
current navigation
between surf and
a candlelit dinner
reflected in her
longing and adoring eyes
as hayden composes the
theme music,
followed up
by smiles, laughter,
a little bit of conflict,
and then good birthday sex.
pardon me for
interpolating horizons
based solely on your
inquiry and nothing else
but my romantic and
chivalrous imagination.
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:24am PT
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^^^ What, you don't think some good birthday sex could work wonders? Just depends on the person.
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MikeMc
Social climber
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:24am PT
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Funny, Weege has always seemed to be one of the most sane individuals on ST from where I sit.
As far as his advice this time, I say spot on. Go get some surf, some drink, some food, and some sweet sweet lovin'. No need to settle for one or the other, life's an all you can eat smorgasbord.
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limpingcrab
Trad climber
the middle of CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:27am PT
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How far are you from the water? Similar situation happened to me so I surfed and got back before she woke up.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:30am PT
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gunkie,
here. this totally is it.
we got this.
go buy her a coloring book,
with a theme consistent to
one of her favorite pastimes.
now get some good colored wax
and sit down together over
coffee or tea, or wine if she likes
and have a play-date.
like children.
let the conversation themes
guide your strategy
and when the laughter subsides,
and the moment presents itself
talk waves and talk sliding down
waves and remind her of the glee
that this brings you.
now compare that glee to
the glee that she brings you,
and of course qualify both
according to the benchmark
of her smile and twinkling eyes.
now she will beg you
to fit in a good wet-session
and will accommodate your
outing by modifying the date structure.
i'm an civic enginneer and we do this
all the time as we conduct harmony
between static quo and god-driven
entropy. i am a keeper in the stress circus.
on the side i enjoy a little social
engineering and my perfect life
can attest to my mastery of the subject.
(see immediately above for gross sarcasm.)
oh and thanks jody for the compliment.
what would this domestic world be
without a little bit of harmless weird?
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skitch
Gym climber
Bend Or
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:34am PT
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Buy her a surf board for her birthday!
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:47am PT
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A birthday is just another day. Always seemed really weird to get ten kinds of wiggly about them. Good surf, on the other hand, well. . . ya gotta crank while the crankin' is good. . . nawmean?
........................eKat might be the perfect woman. Well, maybe not perfect but pretty friggen close.
BUT I digress. Yea, make an inclusive adventure out of it. Unless it's close enough to make daily surgical strikes, take her with you. If it's do-able with daily surgical strikes I'd say you are ON IT. Just make sure to save a bit of energy for her. Weege style.
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:55am PT
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Why not just celebrate her birthday early? For most normal people, I suspect the idea that someone cares enough to remember and treat you special is what matters the most. Some people are of the type "no no I have to be top priority no matter what!" and force the issue of you dropping what you want on her birthday to prove that you love her and prioritize her above everything else. If this is your spouse, you are eventually screwed anyways. Assuming she is a reasonable person, you can celebrate her birthday early and still have your surf day, and you will both be happier and your relationship richer.
A relationship goes both ways, and if your spouse can't help you have what is important to you too, then maybe it's not such a good fit.
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pyro
Big Wall climber
Calabasas
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Sep 21, 2015 - 11:11am PT
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I wouldn't bring Patrick Kane into subject..
Usually good surf is early bird so let her sleep then come home like a man
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cuvvy
Sport climber
arkansas
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Sep 21, 2015 - 11:17am PT
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Ask her to go with you and have her carry the board(s), that way she will feel part of your experience. I hear women say that all the time..."I need to feel some kind of connection:......
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MikeMc
Social climber
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Sep 21, 2015 - 11:19am PT
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^^^ ask her to make you a Sammich too, women love that I hear. ;)
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Contractor
Boulder climber
CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 12:08pm PT
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My wife is a good surfer so every time I make a plan with the bros for a big swell, I get the "Can I come?" and "Can we go somewhere mellow?"
"Uh, hey Tim, I won't be able to come up to Silverstrand this weekend, I'm going to PB Point with my wife".
I say, take her with you, treat her like a queen, sacrafice a little. Then go on a boat trip to the Mentawais some day.
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Cragar
climber
MSLA - MT
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Sep 21, 2015 - 12:11pm PT
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No need to settle for one or the other, life's an all you can eat smorgasbord.
Until you are married, then it is an all 'we' can eat sitch; that is, if'n you have the right person in the first place eh?!!
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Sep 21, 2015 - 12:16pm PT
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Gunkie, you already know the answer to your question.
If you don't, you need to find a way to know the answer to your question.
:)
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Sep 21, 2015 - 01:19pm PT
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Go surfing, she'll be 29 again next year.
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Contractor
Boulder climber
CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 01:30pm PT
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Sorry, unrelated.
Tweaking in the heat down on the lower East side in the shade. A few V's still popping up here and there.
You?
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L
climber
California dreamin' on the farside of the world..
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Sep 21, 2015 - 02:07pm PT
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Gunkie,
Hopefully one of the reasons you married your gal is because she loves you and wants you to be happy in the relationship, too.
Tell her the situation--straight up honest--and ask her if she minds if the two of you celebrate her b-day before or after the actual date. Give her a chance to talk about how she feels about it. Be a good listener. (I can see the grimacing now...but truthfully, a little listening is more valuable than gold to most of us.)
Remember, you're not asking permission to do something you love, which unfortunately just happens to coincide with a certain birth date. You're asking the woman you love how she feels about the situation, and if she loves you enough to understand your point of view.
Treat it like a simple conversation between lovers instead of the makings for high drama. She just might surprise you. :-)
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