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Gunkie
climber
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Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 21, 2015 - 09:02am PT
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I haven't gotten really good waves on the east coast since two back-to-back swells in April. Now Surfline is reporting 8-10 foot SSE swell with perfect winds late next week; Rhode Island reefs and points will be pumping for a couple of days.
I can dump work faster than a Patrick Kane wrist shot. But my wife's birthday is on the peak day of the swell, as currently predicted.
Do I...
1. begin conjuring up excuses now in anticipation of missing her birthday?
2. start my explanations now?
3. beg?
4. ask?
5. hope the predicted swell shifts in time?
6. I'm dead either way. Provide no advanced notice. Just go and deal with the consequences later? Like ripping off a Band-Aid.
Got more than a few days, but it's like trading options; time along with systemic conditions can accelerate the value of the positions radically in either direction without notice.
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Daphne
Trad climber
Northern California
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:08am PT
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plus 1 for what Jody said
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:17am PT
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What you mean ecat, is that YOU'D understand. solid overhead surf??? You gotta get on it and take the heat. I don't know about ditching her for a couple days though. How about something like this...
"Honey, how about we go to the beach for a couple days. You can take pictures of me from the beach and relax." Then take her out for good food every night.
I lost track a looonnnngggg time ago how many times I've gotten chewed out for chasing surf and being too long about it. Still married to the same girl.
edit;
So one time I went on an "approved" trip; nine days in Baja surfing our asses off chasing strong south swell in early September. Killer trip. Pull up to the house and it started "bitch, bitch, bitch...bla bla bla" ... on and on. I turned and looked at the guy I had gone with and said something like just go as this is going to last awhile.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:17am PT
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judy and the other absolutists
are ignorant and afraid
hence their politics;
that aside a little
bit of level headed communication
goes along way among
us more mature adults.
explain to her your plight;
hopefully she constructively
listens.
then hear her out.
now build a compromise,
or not.
this totally depends
on your couple dynamic
and since you're married
and though i know not
how long, i assume
a certain compatibility
between you that
will empower this
current navigation
between surf and
a candlelit dinner
reflected in her
longing and adoring eyes
as hayden composes the
theme music,
followed up
by smiles, laughter,
a little bit of conflict,
and then good birthday sex.
pardon me for
interpolating horizons
based solely on your
inquiry and nothing else
but my romantic and
chivalrous imagination.
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:24am PT
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^^^ What, you don't think some good birthday sex could work wonders? Just depends on the person.
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MikeMc
Social climber
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:24am PT
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Funny, Weege has always seemed to be one of the most sane individuals on ST from where I sit.
As far as his advice this time, I say spot on. Go get some surf, some drink, some food, and some sweet sweet lovin'. No need to settle for one or the other, life's an all you can eat smorgasbord.
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limpingcrab
Trad climber
the middle of CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:27am PT
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How far are you from the water? Similar situation happened to me so I surfed and got back before she woke up.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:30am PT
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gunkie,
here. this totally is it.
we got this.
go buy her a coloring book,
with a theme consistent to
one of her favorite pastimes.
now get some good colored wax
and sit down together over
coffee or tea, or wine if she likes
and have a play-date.
like children.
let the conversation themes
guide your strategy
and when the laughter subsides,
and the moment presents itself
talk waves and talk sliding down
waves and remind her of the glee
that this brings you.
now compare that glee to
the glee that she brings you,
and of course qualify both
according to the benchmark
of her smile and twinkling eyes.
now she will beg you
to fit in a good wet-session
and will accommodate your
outing by modifying the date structure.
i'm an civic enginneer and we do this
all the time as we conduct harmony
between static quo and god-driven
entropy. i am a keeper in the stress circus.
on the side i enjoy a little social
engineering and my perfect life
can attest to my mastery of the subject.
(see immediately above for gross sarcasm.)
oh and thanks jody for the compliment.
what would this domestic world be
without a little bit of harmless weird?
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skitch
Gym climber
Bend Or
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:34am PT
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Buy her a surf board for her birthday!
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:47am PT
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A birthday is just another day. Always seemed really weird to get ten kinds of wiggly about them. Good surf, on the other hand, well. . . ya gotta crank while the crankin' is good. . . nawmean?
........................eKat might be the perfect woman. Well, maybe not perfect but pretty friggen close.
BUT I digress. Yea, make an inclusive adventure out of it. Unless it's close enough to make daily surgical strikes, take her with you. If it's do-able with daily surgical strikes I'd say you are ON IT. Just make sure to save a bit of energy for her. Weege style.
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:55am PT
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Why not just celebrate her birthday early? For most normal people, I suspect the idea that someone cares enough to remember and treat you special is what matters the most. Some people are of the type "no no I have to be top priority no matter what!" and force the issue of you dropping what you want on her birthday to prove that you love her and prioritize her above everything else. If this is your spouse, you are eventually screwed anyways. Assuming she is a reasonable person, you can celebrate her birthday early and still have your surf day, and you will both be happier and your relationship richer.
A relationship goes both ways, and if your spouse can't help you have what is important to you too, then maybe it's not such a good fit.
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pyro
Big Wall climber
Calabasas
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Sep 21, 2015 - 11:11am PT
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I wouldn't bring Patrick Kane into subject..
Usually good surf is early bird so let her sleep then come home like a man
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cuvvy
Sport climber
arkansas
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Sep 21, 2015 - 11:17am PT
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Ask her to go with you and have her carry the board(s), that way she will feel part of your experience. I hear women say that all the time..."I need to feel some kind of connection:......
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MikeMc
Social climber
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Sep 21, 2015 - 11:19am PT
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^^^ ask her to make you a Sammich too, women love that I hear. ;)
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Contractor
Boulder climber
CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 12:08pm PT
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My wife is a good surfer so every time I make a plan with the bros for a big swell, I get the "Can I come?" and "Can we go somewhere mellow?"
"Uh, hey Tim, I won't be able to come up to Silverstrand this weekend, I'm going to PB Point with my wife".
I say, take her with you, treat her like a queen, sacrafice a little. Then go on a boat trip to the Mentawais some day.
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Cragar
climber
MSLA - MT
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Sep 21, 2015 - 12:11pm PT
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No need to settle for one or the other, life's an all you can eat smorgasbord.
Until you are married, then it is an all 'we' can eat sitch; that is, if'n you have the right person in the first place eh?!!
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Sep 21, 2015 - 12:16pm PT
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Gunkie, you already know the answer to your question.
If you don't, you need to find a way to know the answer to your question.
:)
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Sep 21, 2015 - 01:19pm PT
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Go surfing, she'll be 29 again next year.
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Contractor
Boulder climber
CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 01:30pm PT
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Sorry, unrelated.
Tweaking in the heat down on the lower East side in the shade. A few V's still popping up here and there.
You?
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L
climber
California dreamin' on the farside of the world..
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Sep 21, 2015 - 02:07pm PT
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Gunkie,
Hopefully one of the reasons you married your gal is because she loves you and wants you to be happy in the relationship, too.
Tell her the situation--straight up honest--and ask her if she minds if the two of you celebrate her b-day before or after the actual date. Give her a chance to talk about how she feels about it. Be a good listener. (I can see the grimacing now...but truthfully, a little listening is more valuable than gold to most of us.)
Remember, you're not asking permission to do something you love, which unfortunately just happens to coincide with a certain birth date. You're asking the woman you love how she feels about the situation, and if she loves you enough to understand your point of view.
Treat it like a simple conversation between lovers instead of the makings for high drama. She just might surprise you. :-)
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hooblie
climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
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Sep 21, 2015 - 02:31pm PT
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dear L,
what are you doing the rest of my life ... wanna be my life-line?
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brotherbbock
Trad climber
Alta Loma, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 02:35pm PT
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Buy her an awesome new camera.
Take her with you.
Post pics online for us.
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Bushman
Social climber
Elk Grove, California
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Sep 21, 2015 - 02:40pm PT
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1. I smell trouble
2. This is more fun to watch than you think
3. Your third wife will totally understand
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L
climber
California dreamin' on the farside of the world..
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Sep 21, 2015 - 02:44pm PT
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dear L,
what are you doing the rest of my life ... wanna be my life-line?
Dear Hooblie,
Always happy to help a Tacovian try to figure us females out. :-)
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wstmrnclmr
Trad climber
Bolinas, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 02:55pm PT
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Why are you asking....if your anykind of surfer, your a selfish, self centerered a$$hole who's continually blown of any and everyone including numereuos girlfriends who dumped you in the past for not caring about anything but the next swell. If your wife doesn't know by know that surfers are the most useless human beings companion wise on the face of the earth, then shame on her. Blow her off and hit it!
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 03:01pm PT
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previous two posts^^^^lol!!!! There are stores buried in there somewhere.
I'm still in the "take her with you" camp.
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Cragar
climber
MSLA - MT
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Sep 21, 2015 - 03:06pm PT
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I EC surf even worth it?
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 03:10pm PT
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Hey, I"M not the one that pizzes her off on a regular basis ;)
I EC surf even worth it?
Doooooooooood. Solid overhead reeling rights ... you have no idea. Not so sure I would put a whole lot of stock in that Surfline forcast at this point tho...
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Cragar
climber
MSLA - MT
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Sep 21, 2015 - 03:19pm PT
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dude, not trying to harsh a mellow just being a realist here.
Overhead don't mean sh!t if ain't peelin' and forming in all the right ways bro!
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 03:29pm PT
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^^^^ you got that right bro!!1111!!! You're right; could suck. It's nine days away or so lol!
BUT, if it is 8 to 10 foot faces hitting reef at the right angle, it could be sucking sick. Reefs sucking dry all over. Simply sick as sick can be.... or it could suck
Edit:
I'm just having fun but in all seriousness tho, the right hurricane swell will light up the entire coast up through Labrador in amazing ways. Does look like it has a long ways to get to that though.
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Contractor
Boulder climber
CA
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Sep 21, 2015 - 03:44pm PT
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Happy birthday to Me, Me, Me, in this age of narcissism
Celebrations: the birthday 'cult'
Oldest trick in the nook-Make her feel guilty...
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T R
climber
Ca.
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Sep 21, 2015 - 03:47pm PT
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What?! RI reefs?! 8-10 ft?! Sounds dreamy. Thanks for the info. Now... Just go the day before her bday. Maybe you'll get lucky and the swell will peak early. The surf website you mentioned isn't always right anyway.
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sDawg
climber
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Sep 21, 2015 - 03:51pm PT
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Anyone who is asking ST for relationship advice has much bigger problems than birthdays or surfing.
I'm assuming (hoping) the OP already had this conversation with their wife, then posted just to see what the peanut gallery would say. I hate believing people actually relate to their spouses this way.
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Srbphoto
climber
Kennewick wa
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Sep 21, 2015 - 09:34pm PT
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Buy her a surf board for her birthday!
or maybe one of those cool Dyson vacuums
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Jim Clipper
climber
from: forests to tree farms
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Sep 21, 2015 - 10:33pm PT
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You only have one birthday, but you have 364 unbirthdays. Start buying flowers now.
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Sep 21, 2015 - 11:14pm PT
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Gunkie-
Your wife married a surfer.
All Surf Widows have a current list of consolation prizes that will grant you access to your long awaited swell. You know this.
8ft RI points with good winds? Onnit gunkie!!!!!!!!!!
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Jim Clipper
climber
from: forests to tree farms
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Sep 22, 2015 - 04:47am PT
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What the moose said, and the flowers...
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L
climber
California dreamin' on the farside of the world..
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Sep 22, 2015 - 05:29am PT
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Dear Gunkie,
Forget the talking.
Get your wife a lifesize poster of Moose on that bike...and she'll never even know you're gone.
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Gunkie
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 22, 2015 - 06:40am PT
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Made hotel reservations for next Thursday and Friday night. Swell prediction is holding and expanding. I have said nothing to her at this time. Gotta finish a board (below) tonight. Polanning on bringing a 5'11", a 6'8" (below), and my trusty 7'7".
The pin has been pulled on the grenade and I'm holding the handle in right now.
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bixquite
Social climber
humboldt nation
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Sep 22, 2015 - 06:42am PT
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you set birthday date night three days to the left or right of the conflicting swell.
common practice. if the said lady friend is a stickler you get up at 3 am surf you r brains
out and fall asleep on her on date, next year you surf, one way or another this darkness got to give
nice shape, yeah bro go get some waves, lookin for north pacific to kick in, nuthin yet but
maybe if that low off japan swings back next week the machine will be on.
psyched for el nino
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Gregory Crouch
Social climber
Walnut Creek, California
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Sep 22, 2015 - 07:58am PT
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Solid, clean, overhead surf... in a runaway.
Surprised you even have to pose the question. Here of all places.
More real would be: Do you climb with that partner who has been planning this weekend for months? Or do you blow him off and catch the swell?
That sounds like an actual moral dilemma.
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 22, 2015 - 08:14am PT
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Interesting looking plank. Quad?
Looks like you had this planned out all the time..... ;)
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Cragar
climber
MSLA - MT
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Sep 22, 2015 - 08:42am PT
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All in fun for sure!
Hey Gunkie, what’s the dealio with the shape or the tail? I have been outa the game for decades but have seen a lot of river surfboards here in town and they have a similar tail. There is a shop in town called Strongwater and they shape/glass their river surfers in house. They are short, hella rectangular and seem to be twins and quads… Anyway, good luck with your endeavor!
Hey skc, been to the 7Siters lately? Punta Santa Rosalilita was the last place I surfed in ’95…love that little town and nice rights off the little point..
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 22, 2015 - 09:30am PT
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Cragar. It's been waaaaaay tooooo long. I think last time was around 2004. Used to be a regular thing each winter to go down to that area for a week at least once. Used to be a fairly regular thing to get to the tip every few years.
Sorry for the thread distraction.
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Gunkie
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 22, 2015 - 11:21am PT
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Interesting looking plank. Quad?
5 boxes. It's a fish outline without the fish tail; I think it works better than a classical fish for a number of reasons. The extra foam in the tail gets my 52 year-old body into waves of consequence a half second earlier. That means less beatings and less duck-diving and more surfing. I love this design.
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 22, 2015 - 01:17pm PT
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Looks good Gunkie. And the fat rounded squash tail is totally functional compared to the square tails that were so popular a year ago or so.
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Jim Clipper
climber
from: forests to tree farms
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Sep 22, 2015 - 08:43pm PT
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Seriously, would you really be surfing all day? I imagine a few hours when the tide is better. You should still have time for dinner and cake.
If you have an understanding wife, and even get lucky, a friend's advice was to make sure that the water has drained from your sinuses. In his experience, the spontaneous leakage was kind of a mood killer.
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phylp
Trad climber
Upland, CA
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Sep 22, 2015 - 08:45pm PT
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So this is an amusing rhetorical question, but I can't believe you seriously thought you would get some nugget of info that would help you make a decision about this. Because if you really don't know your wife well enough to know what the answer to your own question is, well, wow.
Of course the answer depends completely on HER. If my husband asked me that question, I would say, of course, I could care less, because to me a birthday is just another day. But some people attach a huge emotional importance to the exact date. Hopefully, you know your wife well enough to know the answer. Hopefully, you know how to communicate with your wife if you really don't know the answer.
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Lollie
Social climber
I'm Lolli.
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Sep 23, 2015 - 06:53am PT
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What eKat said. And what Phylp said: ask HER.
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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Sep 23, 2015 - 07:08am PT
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im sure that this thread is a part of the plan.
It will bolster his positions of both need and having put a lot of thought in to the following or something like:
"I love you honey, happy birth day, gone surfing "I
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Gunkie
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 23, 2015 - 09:59am PT
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This blows. I even asked and got the go-ahead to grab our 13 year-old boy out of school for a day to score some surf...
But this forecast makes decision making that much easier.
El Nino rocks for you west coasters. I'll be out visiting at UCSD in November and hope to score reasonably sized Black's or Swami's or even Del Mar.
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Gregory Crouch
Social climber
Walnut Creek, California
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Sep 23, 2015 - 10:43am PT
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None of that looks like it's worth getting wet over
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T R
climber
Ca.
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Sep 23, 2015 - 01:48pm PT
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Swell hype is alive and well on the E Coast also. I can't count how many times I've scored when the 'report' claimed 1-2 and poor/fair. You don't know unless you go!
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pyro
Big Wall climber
Calabasas
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Sep 23, 2015 - 02:01pm PT
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None of that looks like it's worth getting wet over
lol
this was last weekend N.LA
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Sep 23, 2015 - 02:22pm PT
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My condolences on the premature death of your killer swell. These things happen far too often these days. Time to grab the longboard and snag some ankle snappers!
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Sep 23, 2015 - 02:26pm PT
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Ho man, you blew your brownie points AND you didn't even get to capitalize on it. Bummer!
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Sep 23, 2015 - 02:34pm PT
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3. beg
But beg with some forethought. Like, have tickets to Paris in an envelop that you can give to her shortly after you launch your begging.
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Scylax
Trad climber
Idaho
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Sep 23, 2015 - 02:50pm PT
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Birthday or surfing?
Neither.
Go climbing!!😎
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Contractor
Boulder climber
CA
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Sep 23, 2015 - 03:16pm PT
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Gnome Ofthe Diabase
climber
Out Of Bed
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see that thing swirlling off the right hand side of this patch of earth?
it foretells of swells, that if you have surfed the cold east coast rips,
ya' know it's gonna be epic,
even in Long Island sound, boaters are drowning,
I think Gunkie is shore bound.
That said, I was wondering? Where is the best surfing on the east coast?
I have heard, while bobbing in the baby breaks off of wildwood Nj, that the breaks off the coast of Connecticut, Block Island, then, skipping Mass.?, for a spit of shore in Hampton Beach New Hampshire are THE east coast spots, but freezing cold.(no one goes to Main)
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zBrown
Ice climber
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It all comes down to the chromosomes. Who is in "correct" position?
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Ha! With a positive outlook I think both are in the correct position (or as far as they can be). X (should) be getting out of Y's way after he missread Y and hopped Y accidentally. Y looks to be getting ready to hit the throttle and smack the lip.
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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With the storm off the east coast right now, the swell must be thumping!
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