how many shits have you taken while on lead?

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dirtineye

Trad climber
the south
Jan 3, 2009 - 03:04am PT
"how many shits have you taken on lead?"

Only a couple, but it didn't take long to realize that I should not be climbing with those people.


But then, once I had to HOLD it at a belay, pitch 4 or 5 of the OR at Whitesides waiting on the world's slowest partner, and finally proceeded to wipe shyte all over some of NC's finest semi-granite. Thank god there was a good ledge at that belay.

And one other time, I was belaying the Noffsinger and had to wait wait wait for him to aid a pitch on an FA. When he got down and looked at the result, I got a new nickname.


This sort of thing can be rather difficult for someone with a radically shortened colon BTW, just in case anyone is overly curious out there.
jbar

Ice climber
Russia with love.
Jan 3, 2009 - 03:21am PT
If you gotta do it you should make your belayer wait for an eternity in the freezing cold while you crap up the 5.9 pitch leaving him no option but to skate up the 5.11 var in crampons and plastic boots. Oh yeah I forgot the part about making him climb way off route and back just to fetch you some tree branches. Of course you shouldn't tell him what you're up to so he has no idea why in hell you're making him climb all the way out to the tree until you get there. "So thats why you took so long building that anchor you clown?"
Dr. Rock

Ice climber
http://tinyurl.com/4oa5br
Jan 3, 2009 - 04:34am PT
Hah!
Mercedes Man.
Had a friend who had a black workin girl from Oak Town for a girlfriend.
Well, we used to get all f*#ked up and she would tell us these stories, "Mike, that man in the Mercedes with the leather vest? He made me take an ex lax so I could sh#t in his mouth, stupid white boy paid me a hundred dollars to do it so f*#k it."

Good Ol Mercedes Man.
Can't judge a book by it's cover nowadays.
I bet he had a sh#t eatin grin when he got home and kissed his wife.

I'm jus sayin, how many Freaks are there?
Pennsylenvy

Big Wall climber
Fry Canyon, UT
Jan 3, 2009 - 05:04am PT
Dr. Rock....................that was more than this unmoralistic dirtbag was expecting to read. I guess "cheers".

Anyways this is not shitting on lead, however, one day I was climbing with "THE DOCTOR" and he probably puked 15 times on lead that day. I don't think he even asked me to 'take'. At one point I forgot the rope after we rappelled down into the canyon. After watching him solo up a 10a, I just thought to myself what a wuss I must be. So it was inspiration to try and lead something a bit harder than I had planned for my day. I guess if I watch someone sh#t ten times I'll have to solo moonlight buttress.
wtfd

climber
Jan 3, 2009 - 08:18am PT
Ive got a step brother that plays a boatload of frisbe golf, turns out he ended up drinking too much coffee and had an extra bran muffin one morning before a tournament.
now, knowing your wipage is one of those things that will surely make or break the day, evedently he didnt look too hard or he almost didnt make it and reached for the nearest clump of poison ivy and made sure he cleaned up super good.
i think he bought stock in technu after that.
around here yerba buena works real nice, i think they call it lambs ears. its like wiping with a live rabbit.
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