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east side underground
Trad climber
Hilton crk,ca
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 2, 2009 - 12:50pm PT
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I can remember taking only one,but saw murry take 3 on one pitch.
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TrundleBum
Trad climber
Las Vegas
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Shitty topic.... don't get me going I will publicly humiliate myself.
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apogee
climber
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Many times while on belay duty, but not so much on lead- I'm usually too puckered to poop.
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Dr. Rock
Ice climber
http://tinyurl.com/4oa5br
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Can it be mushy, or does it have to be chunks?>
What color?
Is dark green OK?
Need it be tapered at one end?
I'm always on lead, what do you mean by, "while on lead?"
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
New York, NY
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None. But I definitely have had to run for cover on topping out once or twice.
I heard a good story once from a person, telling a poop story of her guide(thus I will name no names).
She was with him in Red Rocks, on some long route. There was one pitch that was going to be stretching her to her limit, and as she went for it, she fell.
Of course, the guide told her to get right back on the rock and try again. Which she did, and promptly again fell off.
With seemingly more encouragement, he told her "Come on - Give it your best! You CAN do it!!!"
She tried again. And fell again.
Each time she got back on the rock, he sounded out encouraging words. He was REALLY giving her full support. It felt good, to this woman, to know her guide had such faith in her.
Unfortunately, she flailed and flailed up the pitch. And flailed some more; each time getting a tighter belay almost to the point of hauling and yes - more encouragement. "I KNOW you can get it! Try HARD!!!"
Finally she floundered to the belay and he quickly clipped her into the anchor. Spent from all the energy, she slowly began to hand back gear, all the while telling him how much she had appreciated her confidence in her and strong encouragement.
As she looked up, she was surprised to see him unclipping from the anchor.
"Waaaa....?" she started to ask as he hurriedly scurried off to some sort of secluded spot.
As the sounds....of silence increased in volume, it slowly dawned on her that her guide had been so spirited in his cheerleading not because he was so proud of her climbing, but because he so desperately needed her to get her butt to the belay before...
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BBWolf
climber
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poop stories....
As retold at the guide's shack after returning from a guided backpaking trip with novices.
The guide went through the entire sh+t kit presentation which included a request that everyone put their used toilet paper in the burn bag after they return from performing their duty. One client apparently wasn't listening too carefully.
One evening around the campfire said client leaves and grabs the sh+t kit. Client returns minutes later with a big ball of toilet paper (carrying it like a new born baby) in their arms. The client proptly drops the baby into the campfire. Everyone goes silent and looks at each other. The client put their entire sh+t into the campfire. Needless to say, everyone retired early to their tents.
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east side underground
Trad climber
Hilton crk,ca
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 2, 2009 - 03:33pm PT
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on lead = leading a roped up pitch
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Fletcher
Trad climber
the campfire just a ways past Chris' Taco stand
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Ick!
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Captain...or Skully
Trad climber
North of the Owyhees
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Just one, on the Prow, the pitch after Tapir Terrace.
Ewwww.An ugly scene.
Any more info would be too much.
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Gunkie
climber
East Coast US
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One usually end the lead. So my answer is one.
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Mtnmun
Trad climber
Top of the Mountain Mun
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crappiest post ever.
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Thorgon
Big Wall climber
Sedro Woolley, WA
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You would have to ask J. Barklow about the 'Chocolate Rainbow' pitch on Looking Glass N.C. Must have been the Thai food, it was like southern style 35mph through a screen door!!! All while at a hanging belay, does that count? The arc was perfect and I am so glad we were the only ones around, midweek!!!!
Thor
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Crimpergirl
Social climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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The Unabonger has posted a most excellent story of the time he pooed his pants in mid-climb. I'll see if I can find it and repost it. It's hysterical!
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Chris2
Trad climber
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Bunch of fecophiles.
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ron gomez
Trad climber
fallbrook,ca
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Damn, can't say I've taken a dump while leading, but lordy knows I've schit my pants a few times while leading!
Peace
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wtfd
climber
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public humiliation is something I know well, butt on the topic of shitting on lead, a friend of mine and I were climbing/camping in a secluded area and evidently I didnt get my hands washed too well before dinner, as we ate steaks and I didnt have a dish, so I gnawed on it beef jerkey style, complete with grease dribbling down my forearm and dripping off my dry elbow onto my shreaded pants.
flash foreward to the next day, on a hard 11 easy 12 as one arm is locked off on an anti-hold and the other inches twards glory, i feel a gurgle start to boil in the depths of my innerds, much like the revenge of montezuma, my concentration slowly fades from that glory hold to pinching the sphincter off tight, thats all it takes to butter off the nanojib my feet were pasted to and I go for a ride...holding tight the whole ride down. As soon as I come tight, I yell at my partner to let me off while he tries as he might to encourage me, that I almost had the hold....
there is no time to argue as I scream to him to let me off and get me down.
finaly he abides and on touchdown, I was running tward the safety of the nearest shelter but was pulled tight as he couldnt get me off belay.
running in place for the last 5 yards....my harness around my knees and my pants half off, I slide into home, with a rumble and a groan...and a belly full of foam, instant habanero has never felt better.
pleading for one of my socks, I finaly get relief and am feeling better, smoking a cigarette i contemplate the crux moves wild eyed and gaining my breath.
time for a second shot at that glory hold. repeat above x5.
after burning both my socks and my t-shirt, I finaly decided to give up and wait till I was feeling better, ive still not been back to redpoint that route, glory will have to wait...
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ron gomez
Trad climber
fallbrook,ca
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That was funny reading!
Peace
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hagerty
Social climber
A Sandy Area South of a Salty Lake
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Intentionally?
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dougs510
Social climber
down south
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My old buddy used to always get a nervious crap just before a kinda sketchy lead.. pretty funny
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dirtineye
Trad climber
the south
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"how many shits have you taken on lead?"
Only a couple, but it didn't take long to realize that I should not be climbing with those people.
But then, once I had to HOLD it at a belay, pitch 4 or 5 of the OR at Whitesides waiting on the world's slowest partner, and finally proceeded to wipe shyte all over some of NC's finest semi-granite. Thank god there was a good ledge at that belay.
And one other time, I was belaying the Noffsinger and had to wait wait wait for him to aid a pitch on an FA. When he got down and looked at the result, I got a new nickname.
This sort of thing can be rather difficult for someone with a radically shortened colon BTW, just in case anyone is overly curious out there.
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jbar
Ice climber
Russia with love.
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If you gotta do it you should make your belayer wait for an eternity in the freezing cold while you crap up the 5.9 pitch leaving him no option but to skate up the 5.11 var in crampons and plastic boots. Oh yeah I forgot the part about making him climb way off route and back just to fetch you some tree branches. Of course you shouldn't tell him what you're up to so he has no idea why in hell you're making him climb all the way out to the tree until you get there. "So thats why you took so long building that anchor you clown?"
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Dr. Rock
Ice climber
http://tinyurl.com/4oa5br
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Hah!
Mercedes Man.
Had a friend who had a black workin girl from Oak Town for a girlfriend.
Well, we used to get all f*#ked up and she would tell us these stories, "Mike, that man in the Mercedes with the leather vest? He made me take an ex lax so I could sh#t in his mouth, stupid white boy paid me a hundred dollars to do it so f*#k it."
Good Ol Mercedes Man.
Can't judge a book by it's cover nowadays.
I bet he had a sh#t eatin grin when he got home and kissed his wife.
I'm jus sayin, how many Freaks are there?
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Pennsylenvy
Big Wall climber
Fry Canyon, UT
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Dr. Rock....................that was more than this unmoralistic dirtbag was expecting to read. I guess "cheers".
Anyways this is not shitting on lead, however, one day I was climbing with "THE DOCTOR" and he probably puked 15 times on lead that day. I don't think he even asked me to 'take'. At one point I forgot the rope after we rappelled down into the canyon. After watching him solo up a 10a, I just thought to myself what a wuss I must be. So it was inspiration to try and lead something a bit harder than I had planned for my day. I guess if I watch someone sh#t ten times I'll have to solo moonlight buttress.
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wtfd
climber
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Ive got a step brother that plays a boatload of frisbe golf, turns out he ended up drinking too much coffee and had an extra bran muffin one morning before a tournament.
now, knowing your wipage is one of those things that will surely make or break the day, evedently he didnt look too hard or he almost didnt make it and reached for the nearest clump of poison ivy and made sure he cleaned up super good.
i think he bought stock in technu after that.
around here yerba buena works real nice, i think they call it lambs ears. its like wiping with a live rabbit.
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