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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 26, 2009 - 04:54pm PT
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Deuce4, what home rememdy did you use for the cure?
The greatest minds in the climbing world have tested Mungehausens and agree that there is no one vaccine that will work. Limited trials of a new drug "Yosemiteva" only works on hemmorhoids for Wall Climbers and has no effect on either hyper or hypovolcandria.
Interruptive therapies involving the venom of a King Kobra may delay initial onset, but once too far gone, hospis care in the Old Climber's Home is mandated where they have really nice care and allow you out from time to time on field trips to the backcountry.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
sorry, just posting out loud.
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 29, 2009 - 03:43am PT
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CDC report on the current situation
Novel MUNGEHAUSEN cases have been reported in many countries around the world, with most of the cases being reported from the United States, particularly California and Utah. Overall, the numbers of new cases of novel MUNGEHAUSEN in California appears to be declining. However, outbreaks continue to be reported in some Oregon communitities. Witch ones, we cannot say. The normal season typically occurs sometime during September to April, and some countries in the Southern Hemisphere are reporting increasing numbers of cases of novel MUNGEHAUSEN.
On June 11, 2009, the World Health Organization (WHO) raised the worldwide pandemic alert level to Phase 6 in response to the ongoing global spread of the novel mungA (MUNGEHAUSEN) virus. A Phase 6 alert level means that a global pandemic is underway and that there are now ongoing community level outbreaks in multiple parts of world. The Phase 6 pandemic alert level is a reflection of the spread of the virus, not the severity of illness caused by the virus. For more information, see CDC’s MUNGEHAUSEN website.
Health authorities around the world are monitoring the situation. As the situation changes, further information and travel recommendations related to this outbreak will be posted on the mudncrud website.
For the most up-to-date information about case numbers and where they are occurring, visit the following websites:
• United States:
• California CDC MUNGEHAUSEN website www.mudncrud.com
• Oregon Couchmaster website
• Utah website pending a bolt war
Basic Information about Novel MUNGEHAUSEN
The novel MUNGEHAUSEN virus is unique, because it is a combination of genes from Salathe, Robbins, The Birdman, and choss viruses. People who are infected usually have chossticular-like symptoms, including fever, delirium, narrow obsessive focus on short volcanic climbs and heightened sense of adventure. Some people have also reported vomiting (usually Sunday mornings after a full Saturday in the High Peaks and having tried to poison the disease out of the system).
Even though some severe illnesses and deaths from novel MUNGEHAUSEN have been reported, most cases have been similar to chossticular cancer and have not resulted in an untreatable illness. Most cases have occurred in old men with no brains and young punks with no brains.
Recommendations for Travel to Areas Reporting Novel MUNGEHAUSEN
CDC recommends that travelers at high risk for complications from any form of choss discuss their travel plans with their supertopo community. Together, they should look carefully at the MUNGEHAUSEN situation in their destination and the available health-care options in the area. They should discuss their specific health situations and possible increased risk of drinking in the area affected by novel MUNGEHAUSEN.
Healthy people may make travel plans as they normally would and take common sense precautions to protect their health during travel by staying on the trails only climbing in Bear Gulch and not sending and proclaiming Pinnacles a horrible place to climb thereby covering their whiney asses.
Before Your Trip
If you are planning travel to an area where cases of novel MUNGEHAUSEN are being reported, the following recommendations will help you reduce your risk of infection and stay healthy.
Prepare for your trip
• Stay informed. Check updates from the sources listed in the “Current Situation” section above.
• Be sure you are up-to-date with all your choss vaccines (aka Yosemite partners)
• Find out about the other health risks and travel recommendations for your volcanic outing. Snakes, ticks, tarantulas, deer, quail, beautiful scenery, high adventure.
• Pack a travel health kit that contains basic first aid and “medical” supplies. Wild Turkeys are sometimes found to have medicinal value.
• Make sure your insurance is up to date, because you’re a dumbass if you ferget to wear a helmet on a high rock fall day.
Check your own health
Do not travel if you are sick.
If you have mungie-like symptoms, you should stay home and avoid travel for 7 days after you get sick or for at least 24 hours after you stop having symptoms, whichever is longer. This is to keep others from getting this really f'd up virus. Failing that pack be sure to pack a bunch of Bud Light Limes.
During Your Trip
Follow local guidelines
• No chipping, don’t worry just brush it with your hand.
• Follow any movement restrictions and prevention recommendations. Aka three points of contact, use a rope, avoid the high peaks despite their beauty.
• ground up only
What to do if you feel sick
• It is expected that most people will recover without needing medical care.
• If you have severe illness or you are at high risk of loose rock complications, seek medical care. Cf. Splatter Matt route at Yaks.
After Your Trip
• Closely monitor your health for 7 days. Or until the next weekend’s anticipatory project attack, whichever comes first.
Additional Information
If you have specific questions about novel MUNGEHAUSEN cases see the Contact CDC webpage or call 1-800-CHU-UNKS (1-800-555-1212)
To learn more about travel health, visit the CDC Travelers' Health website.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Topic Author's Reply - Sep 1, 2016 - 08:34am PT
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The CDC reports a recent rise in cases and warns that all at-risk individuals should be inoculated with a "Granitia" a new genetic therapy aimed to prevent recurrent outbreaks by a anti-viral load of 'end of season' granite treatment.
May god have mercy on your souls.
;)
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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I've heard that people having Bulgemelon Disorder should maintain distance between themselves and those known to have M.S.
Is this true or an old wives tale spread by that rumor-mongering mudskipper known as Fish?
HardyMen in action.
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Mungeclimber
Trad climber
Nothing creative to say
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Topic Author's Reply - Dec 26, 2018 - 08:53pm PT
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I’ve successfully undergone both snow therapy as well as granite treatments.
They say I’m cured. Much like bacon?
Pinnacles season is upon us but bring yer own TP. Pack it in pack it out gov shutdown!
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ß Î Ø T Ç H
Boulder climber
ne'er–do–well
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Dec 27, 2018 - 12:54am PT
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Dec 27, 2018 - 01:48am PT
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Bacon IS the cure!
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