You know you're a dirtbag climber when......


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Messages 141 - 160 of total 164 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:47pm PT
Weege! HaHaHaHa!, Man, mine woulda made me run alongside the car.
"But, Honey, it is sterile!"

Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
May 23, 2013 - 12:00pm PT
you break out all the windows
of your abode
and put bars on the door.

that way the fools seeking material gain
easily realize their knightmare,

while i, the king
am deterred from entering:
my dungeon disguised as castle,
and so unencumbered,
i conquer undiscovered worlds.


Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
May 25, 2013 - 10:57pm PT
you actually find this position relaxing on the commute bus

Credit: JOEY.F
Sierra Ledge Rat

Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
May 26, 2013 - 08:21am PT
part time pinko

you are the dirt bag king

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Sep 3, 2015 - 11:42am PT
i had a dirtbag moment not long ago.

in invited my wife out for a movie.
we stop at hank's exchange on
the way and i get a few tall boy coors.

i drink one in the parking lot
while she eats red licorice.

we both look at each others
confection with disgust.

that shite is creppy.
red licorice.

anyway i only get one down
then we start making out
because her teeth
are all red and
i just can't resist.

no we gotta go because
the flick is about to commence.

but i've still two tall boys.
so i stuff them down
the front of my pants
which by the way are
womens size 4.5,
and then poof out my blouse.

i'm walking the lot
like i gotta poo being born,
and make it thru the ticket

i'm just about inside and safe
when i hear,


i don't even turn
because i recognize the shrill
voice of my ex-girlfriend bianca.

she's a sweet one and she
want a hug.

in she comes with petrified lust
and we embrace i'm tying to
keep my iced-midsection from
colliding with her microwave job.

super f*#king awkward.

she lets on that she doesn't
notice the cannon in my pants,

and i scoot towards the door.

i'm home-free and jonesin
for a cold beer kiss in the dark
back row, when i hear again,


this time it was debbie,
bianca's mom.

oh lordy she took me into
her loving grasp
and gently adjusted my poise
and she knew exactly what
was going down,

for i never once fooled her.

anyway we all sat together
and shared my beers.

my wife was mildly bemused.

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Sep 3, 2015 - 11:55am PT
Part-time Pinko seems to be MIA, and after seeing that pic it isn't a mystery why.
That put me right off my lunch.
Bruce Morris

Social climber
Belmont, California
Sep 3, 2015 - 01:04pm PT
You keep talking about "God" because you're trying to let them know they owe you a living?

Sport climber
Sonora Ca
Sep 3, 2015 - 01:06pm PT
your wife leaves you for a tree climber

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Sep 3, 2015 - 01:53pm PT
You're camping way off the grid in the wintertime,
making pancakes in the dirt next to frozen puddles while you're kids play in flip-flops,
and while sharing breakfast with the local homeless guy,
he asks "are you Travelers?"

Gym climber
Being In Sierra Happy Of Place
Sep 3, 2015 - 05:31pm PT
you get out of sharing gas by saying:

"I don't have cash, but I will lead all the hard pitches!"

And everyone agrees...

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
Sep 3, 2015 - 06:14pm PT
Good one MisterE!

Occupied Territory
Sep 3, 2015 - 06:14pm PT
When you stub your toe someone has a fundraiser to pay for your medical care.

El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
Sep 3, 2015 - 06:39pm PT
I don't approve

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Sep 28, 2015 - 06:41pm PT
i wear deodorant so
infrequently that
when i do don man-scent
my wife thinks
that i've been
cheating on her
with a dude.

The Good Places
Sep 28, 2015 - 06:45pm PT
you washed your ass in a river yesterday. And today.

by choice. shamelessly
Spider Savage

Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
Sep 28, 2015 - 07:58pm PT
A true "dirtbag" is sleeping bag in the dirt.
A true "dirtbag" is sleeping bag in the dirt.
Credit: Spider Savage
Nutagain does a dirtbag breakfast.
Nutagain does a dirtbag breakfast.
Credit: Spider Savage

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Sep 28, 2015 - 08:06pm PT

It's not completely logical, but I actually feel more dirtbaggish when I
have that same setup on the asphalt between cars in a parking lot
(e.g. to avoid wind). The dirt at least feels like you are backpacking,
but the parking lot just makes you feel homeless.

Mountain climber
Anchorage AK, Reno NV
Sep 28, 2015 - 08:26pm PT
It is -40...You live in a chevy suburban that does not run..and your transportation car has expired tags no insurance, no reverse and no brakes. You are still in the mountains several days a week

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Sep 28, 2015 - 08:45pm PT
So the four of us, all packed into a Chevy Vega wagon, rolled outta Seattle
and headed for Bearflanks, at the end of January for a stroll up Mt Hayes.
We rolled into Bearflanks at about 0300 and went to some all night diner.
We were too cheap to get a room so the other three went in to suck bad joe.
I said, "Screw that, I'm gonna get some quality Z's" so I rolled out my
Holubar and Ensolite next to the car and was stackin' 'em within minutes.
Hey, it was only -30F. Next thing I know it's light and I hear some guy say,

"You can see his breath - he's still alive!" Then a TV camera got shoved in my mug.

"Of course I'm alive you f*#king idiots!"

Gym climber
Great White North
Sep 28, 2015 - 08:59pm PT
When you use a deodorant stick at the grocery store then put it back on the shelf
Messages 141 - 160 of total 164 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
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