You know you're a dirtbag climber when......

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Messages 141 - 160 of total 169 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
Norwegian

Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:44pm PT
reily my wife
took a pull from my piss bottle,
cause i left it in the cup holder
of our vehicle.

she was not amused.
part-time communist

Mountain climber
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:47pm PT
I slept in here later that night during a massive wind/sand storm in t...
I slept in here later that night during a massive wind/sand storm in the desert.
Credit: part-time communist
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:47pm PT
Weege! HaHaHaHa!, Man, mine woulda made me run alongside the car.
"But, Honey, it is sterile!"
Norwegian

Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
May 23, 2013 - 12:00pm PT
you break out all the windows
of your abode
and put bars on the door.

that way the fools seeking material gain
easily realize their knightmare,

while i, the king
am deterred from entering:
my dungeon disguised as castle,
and so unencumbered,
i conquer undiscovered worlds.

JOEY.F

Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
May 25, 2013 - 10:57pm PT
you actually find this position relaxing on the commute bus


Credit: JOEY.F
Sierra Ledge Rat

Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
May 26, 2013 - 08:21am PT
^^^
part time pinko

you are the dirt bag king
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Sep 3, 2015 - 11:42am PT
i had a dirtbag moment not long ago.

in invited my wife out for a movie.
we stop at hank's exchange on
the way and i get a few tall boy coors.

i drink one in the parking lot
while she eats red licorice.

we both look at each others
confection with disgust.

that shite is creppy.
red licorice.

anyway i only get one down
then we start making out
because her teeth
are all red and
i just can't resist.

no we gotta go because
the flick is about to commence.

but i've still two tall boys.
so i stuff them down
the front of my pants
which by the way are
womens size 4.5,
and then poof out my blouse.

i'm walking the lot
like i gotta poo being born,
and make it thru the ticket
purchase.

i'm just about inside and safe
when i hear,

"chuckie!"

i don't even turn
because i recognize the shrill
voice of my ex-girlfriend bianca.

she's a sweet one and she
want a hug.

in she comes with petrified lust
and we embrace i'm tying to
keep my iced-midsection from
colliding with her microwave job.

super f*#king awkward.

she lets on that she doesn't
notice the cannon in my pants,

and i scoot towards the door.

i'm home-free and jonesin
for a cold beer kiss in the dark
back row, when i hear again,

"chuckie!"

this time it was debbie,
bianca's mom.

oh lordy she took me into
her loving grasp
and gently adjusted my poise
and she knew exactly what
was going down,

for i never once fooled her.

anyway we all sat together
and shared my beers.

my wife was mildly bemused.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Sep 3, 2015 - 11:55am PT
Part-time Pinko seems to be MIA, and after seeing that pic it isn't a mystery why.
That put me right off my lunch.
Bruce Morris

Social climber
Belmont, California
Sep 3, 2015 - 01:04pm PT
You keep talking about "God" because you're trying to let them know they owe you a living?
pb

Sport climber
Sonora Ca
Sep 3, 2015 - 01:06pm PT
your wife leaves you for a tree climber
Burch

Mountain climber
Sep 3, 2015 - 01:13pm PT
Part-time Pinko seems to be MIA, and after seeing that pic it isn't a mystery why.
That put me right off my lunch.

How did that get in the mix, anyway?

I thought it said "climber" in the title?
NutAgain!

Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
Sep 3, 2015 - 01:53pm PT
You're camping way off the grid in the wintertime,
making pancakes in the dirt next to frozen puddles while you're kids play in flip-flops,
and while sharing breakfast with the local homeless guy,
he asks "are you Travelers?"
MisterE

Gym climber
Being In Sierra Happy Of Place
Sep 3, 2015 - 05:31pm PT
you get out of sharing gas by saying:

"I don't have cash, but I will lead all the hard pitches!"

And everyone agrees...
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
Sep 3, 2015 - 06:14pm PT
Good one MisterE!
Jody

climber
Occupied Territory
Sep 3, 2015 - 06:14pm PT
When you stub your toe someone has a fundraiser to pay for your medical care.
locker

climber
STFU n00b!!!
Sep 3, 2015 - 06:30pm PT


"You know you're a dirtbag climber when......"...

You ask a resoler to fix these...

photo not found
Missing photo ID#425834
...

drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
Sep 3, 2015 - 06:39pm PT
I don't approve
locker

climber
STFU n00b!!!
Sep 3, 2015 - 06:40pm PT


I hope those aren't the ones you're sending...

Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Sep 28, 2015 - 06:41pm PT
i wear deodorant so
infrequently that
when i do don man-scent
my wife thinks
that i've been
cheating on her
with a dude.
thebravecowboy

climber
The Good Places
Sep 28, 2015 - 06:45pm PT
you washed your ass in a river yesterday. And today.

by choice. shamelessly
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