You know you're a dirtbag climber when......

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susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Original Post - Jun 17, 2008 - 12:37pm PT
You steal toilet paper from public restrooms.....

You haven't paid for housing in over 3 months.....

SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Jun 17, 2008 - 12:45pm PT
Susan
Don't talk about Dean Potter that way!!!!!
Moof

Big Wall climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
Jun 17, 2008 - 12:49pm PT
When your shower in the parking lot outside your rig.

When you helpferry food from the dumpster to the waiting volvo, while local kids look on in horror. "Stay in school!"
kev

climber
CA
Jun 17, 2008 - 01:35pm PT
When your idea of dining out is eating random peoples leftovers at the Woe Nelly.
WandaFuca

Gym climber
San Fernando Lamas
Jun 17, 2008 - 01:38pm PT
. . . the SuperTopo forum is something you've only heard about from your trustafarian bros.
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 17, 2008 - 01:50pm PT
You've spent more than 250 nights in a year in your rig, tent or some other bivouac.....
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jun 17, 2008 - 01:51pm PT
You consider a 40 of King Cobra and a couple of cans of beanie-weenies a date dinner.
survival

Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
Jun 17, 2008 - 01:52pm PT
When you have to dig through your haul bag to find
your cleanest dirty shirt to go out for dinner after the big wall.
SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Jun 17, 2008 - 02:05pm PT
Erik
What a gentleman!!!!





It's the morning after that would induce suffering. . .




LOL!!!!
Mike.

climber
Jun 17, 2008 - 02:11pm PT
...your climbing food leftovers are the same stuff you eat on non-climbing days at home.

...you live out of the same ditty bag at home that you do on the wall.

...you feel more comfy on the floor in a sleeping bag than in a "real" bed.

Michael D

Big Wall climber
Napoli, Italy
Jun 17, 2008 - 02:19pm PT
You're totally stoked to find an unopened pack of frosted Pop Tarts under the drivers seat. Loose change is the bonus.
Cheers, Michael
khanom

Trad climber
eestsyde
Jun 17, 2008 - 02:26pm PT
Glad to see I'm checking off most of these :) In fact, all but the Taco Stand thing... but hey, it's a new era.

The TP comment is reassuring... I thought I was a deviant there, since I haven't paid for TP in over four years.

Edit: I'd never eat pop tarts. But I did find a unopened Cliff Bar on a route once. I ate it, of course!
Norwegian

Trad climber
Placerville, California
Jun 17, 2008 - 03:05pm PT
you pass on your daughter's birthday party for a climbing trip.
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 17, 2008 - 03:14pm PT
Your hair closely resembles dreadlocks............
Prod

Social climber
Charlevoix, MI
Jun 17, 2008 - 03:31pm PT
I wish I was one again....

Prod.
ChoochCharlie

Trad climber
South East PA
Jun 17, 2008 - 03:36pm PT
A Porta-Potty is an upgrade for #2.
Todd Gordon

Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
Jun 17, 2008 - 03:50pm PT
Can you out-dirt-bag Tucker Tech;
See how many of these you can check off

1. You don't own a car;...too expensive and there is only a 20 min. period each day where you are within the legal alcohol limit;....the first 20 min. after you wake up...

2. You only own one pair of shoes ( Besides climbing);..sandals only.

3. You climb in a swami only....(Leg loops are for sissys)

4. You never have paid for rent.

5. You lived in a cave for 5 years.

6. You have done back to back walls without bathing in between.

7. You only bathe every month or two.

8. You never comb your hair.

9. YOu have only been to the doctors twice;...both times others took you there because you were unconscious.

10. YOu haven't been to the dentist in over 30 years.

11. You don't own any underware.

12. You don't carry water in your climbing pack, or on climbs;....only beer.

13. You use lounge chairs "borrowed" from the lodge and convert them into porta-ledges for El Cap routes.

14. You jumar with the haulbag on your back as you clean aid pitches while soloing walls.

15. All your clothes you own were given to you .

16. You have lived on less than $5000 a year.

SteveW

Trad climber
The state of confusion
Jun 17, 2008 - 03:56pm PT
Todd
You're a slacker if you believe #1 is correct.

Or you're not drinking enuff. . .
You should be legally drunk when you wake up, if you've been
drinking. . .




LOL!


:-)
k-man

Gym climber
SCruz
Jun 17, 2008 - 05:21pm PT
You wake up one morning and notice there's moss growing in your hair.

[What famous climber said this motivated him to move?]


Your version of an uncomfortable bed is a pair of aiders and a harness.

Your version of a comfortable bed is pine needles.

You need money only for:
- Chalk
- Resoles

Your "super market" is the campground dumpsters on Monday morning.



~~

Don't talk about Dean Potter that way!!!!!
SteveW, you obviously don't know Dean!
Elcapinyoazz

Social climber
Joshua Tree
Jun 17, 2008 - 05:37pm PT
Olde E is a once a week luxury treat after 6 days of CamoXXXX tall cans.

Sleeping in the (slightly heated) camp4 handicapped shitter is a real option during extended periods of cold or rain.

You hold your best cord up to the light and can see through it.

You have shellac'd the paper cups from every major fast food and coffee joint keep them in your rig to get lifetime free re-fills.

You pick cigarette butts out of ashtrays, extract the tobacco remnants and then roll it into a whole cig, using the blank pages out of the back of a pocket sized Gideon's bible because rolling papers are way too spendy.


nevenneve

Trad climber
St. Paul, MN
Jun 17, 2008 - 05:38pm PT
Drunken rants about can recycling being to high class a form of self support to consider personally.
You walk farther than most people drive on a daily basis.
It is a natural assumption for most that if they have not seen you in six plus months you are probably dead.
Have mooned a large group whilst soloing in inclement weather.
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 17, 2008 - 05:45pm PT
...."you obviously don't know Dean!"

you know your a dirtbag climber when.... you live in a shed for the season...

Jaybro

Social climber
wuz real!
Jun 17, 2008 - 07:19pm PT
A shower every three months? -yuppie posers!
k-man

Gym climber
SCruz
Jun 17, 2008 - 08:05pm PT
you live in a shed for the season...

That's better! ;-)
Fish Finder

Social climber
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
Jun 17, 2008 - 08:24pm PT
You know your a dirtbag climber when......







your girlfriend from out-of-state has everything under control.
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Jun 17, 2008 - 08:43pm PT
You are not worried over the fact that you have only five dollars left to live on for the next five months... Yet, you become extremely stressed when it rains on your project.
AF
Walleye

climber
Under the dwarf maples near The Same Mansion
Jun 17, 2008 - 09:07pm PT
You actually know Musskelunge Walling.......
Blinny

Trad climber
NWMontana
Jun 17, 2008 - 09:26pm PT
when you don't know the difference between:

YOUR

and You're

:-)

eKat
kev

climber
CA
Jun 17, 2008 - 09:53pm PT
...when small children scream and run from you while buying king cobra....

....when you don't care if people see you sh#t...

....when your car smalls so bad even the bears avoid it....

....when youre not surprised to booty beer....

....when youre pot is never clean....

....when you know you can get free croutons and salad dressing at the lodge caf (it's a frickin meal), free cream cheese at curry, and can occasionally sneak into curry caf....

....when you know the age of consent is 16 in the valley (thanks goerge :)....

kev

Jingy

Social climber
Flatland, Ca
Jun 17, 2008 - 10:11pm PT
You fart and all the plants start to wither and die.


You let out a fart that can peel paint off a footlocker.


You have more money stashed for weed than you do for food.
Anguish

Mountain climber
Jackson Hole Wyo.
Jun 17, 2008 - 10:26pm PT
You bring a crampon on a food raid, using it to create fake bear-claw scratches near the cooler from which you stole a dozen eggs (the eggs are always on top, so we always had omelettes at the rescue camp)
TwistedCrank

climber
Ideeho
Jun 17, 2008 - 10:40pm PT
You know your a dirtbag climber when...




... you go climbing.


Pfff...
marty(r)

climber
beneath the valley of ultravegans
Jun 18, 2008 - 02:08am PT
...you drive by a turnout and say to yourself, "If I lived here I'd be home now."

...you've eaten mayo for more than a week and called it good for your only food group.

...you sleep in a storage locker or boiler room through the winter months.
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2008 - 02:12am PT
eKat writes, "when you don't know the difference between: YOUR and You're"

OMG! I am so humiliated, I don't make that mistake!! I'm a humiliated dirtbag! I'm half tempted to nuke this thread for poor grammar!!

Kath, you've ruined me! Damn you! You're such a )%(&% for drawing attention to that!

Damn it, damn it to your hell!

xo,
Sooze

Edit: I can't live with this...some admin needs to help a lady out and fix my thread heading. That or I'm dropping on a knife. Who wants to live with that on their conscience?

TradIsGood

Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
Jun 18, 2008 - 07:46am PT
When you use "their" as a single possessive pronoun.

Oh wait, that is almost everybody.
happiegrrrl

Trad climber
New York, NY
Jun 18, 2008 - 09:26am PT
HOW did a thread on d/bags turn into grammar school??????

AAAARRRGGGHHHHH.

You know you're a dirtbag when:

 you hear some people complaining about the camping fee increase for the area you're at and are confused as to what the issue is.

 you run into me at the crag and I put you in my foster care program, making sure you have decent meals and water and rides into town(I admit, I can't resist. Back in the day, my mom would do the same for the guys coming off the trains up the road; I must have learned it from her.)

MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jun 18, 2008 - 09:28am PT
When you bathe with handi-wipes

When you offer to clean other peoples pipes for the resin

when you can't remember the last time your hands didn't have open wounds, scabs or gobies.

Blinny

Trad climber
NWMontana
Jun 18, 2008 - 09:33am PT
Ahhhhhhhh MediumSooze. . . I just couldn't pass up the opportunity!

:-)

oxooxxoox

eKat
I'm Rick James, Bitch

Gym climber
Jesus Camp, USA
Jun 18, 2008 - 11:08am PT
Yo E, you lookin for trouble. I stole those handiwipes from the 99cent store. You wish that resin was yours and those so called "gobies", they ain't from climbing, it's cuz I ferget ta use moisturiza after I'm done cookin' my sh#t.Dirtbag climbers are light. If you want to get it on then lets talk about dirtbag druggies. P.S. Who is the school marm wiff a grammer ish? Yours in funk, Rick
FeelioBabar

climber
Sneaking up behind you...
Jun 18, 2008 - 11:23am PT
...when your wife leaves you, because your a f*#king dirtbag climber.
kev

climber
CA
Jun 18, 2008 - 01:07pm PT
When the janitor at the 140 entrance gives you 2 rolls of toilet paper one morning and thinks he's doing you a favor (come on that stuff so free)
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2008 - 01:24pm PT
....You apply for the "bear duty" job in the Valley so you can stay in Camp4 for free during the season.

khanom

Trad climber
eestsyde
Jun 18, 2008 - 01:30pm PT
...you get fired from that job for being a dirtbag.
salad

climber
Escondido
Jun 18, 2008 - 01:36pm PT
"when you know the age of consent is 16 in the valley (thanks goerge :).... "

"You pick cigarette butts out of ashtrays, extract the tobacco remnants and then roll it into a whole cig, using the blank pages out of the back of a pocket sized Gideon's bible because rolling papers are way too spendy. "

excellent beta, gents!
salad

climber
Escondido
Jun 18, 2008 - 01:43pm PT
you go to whole foods daily and try every single free sample at least once, and then purchase a single banana.
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2008 - 01:56pm PT
you go shop at the dented can sale or better yet apply for the county's free food bag...
happiegrrrl

Trad climber
New York, NY
Jun 18, 2008 - 02:04pm PT

you hold up your pants with belt of 1-inch webbing
Moof

Big Wall climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
Jun 18, 2008 - 02:42pm PT
When you instinctively sniff test EVERY lemon-lime gatorade bottle, no matter what.
Moof

Big Wall climber
A cube at my soul sucking job in Oregon
Jun 18, 2008 - 02:43pm PT
When you've lived on Purina Monkey Chow for longer stretches at a time (applies to one of my relatives, thankfully not me).
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Jun 18, 2008 - 02:52pm PT
When you have holes in your shirt, pants, underwear, socks, and seriously consider yourself well dressed for a wedding because they are clean.
k-man

Gym climber
SCruz
Jun 18, 2008 - 02:55pm PT
A: Johnny Woodward on why he moved to Cali from the UK...
Norwegian

Trad climber
Placerville, California
Jun 18, 2008 - 04:50pm PT
dirtbag story:

my cousin and i were on a trip to eldorado canyon. 2 or 3 days of sandstone clawing, several nights of margaritas in town. we hustle back to steamboat as my cousin is best man in a wedding. we don't even leave enuf time to shower. we pick up his tux and speed to the wedding.

the wedding begins and im enjoying a beverage with a grin. i then notice that my cousin still has tape on his fingers. my grin swells, and i laugh out loud.
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 18, 2008 - 05:34pm PT
Slight drift but the wedding thing got me thinking....

20 years ago when I got married I had a double wedding with my sister & her soon to be husband who were both climbers. I didn't climb at the time.

200+ people at the ceremony of which I swear 100+ were wearing Tevas.

True story.
Jaybro

Social climber
wuz real!
Jun 18, 2008 - 05:46pm PT


from 6/6 (but I wore the same for a wedding on 6/1) only yuppies can afford those extravagent teva heelstraps. And I'm a respected moulder of young minds.
Blinny

Trad climber
NWMontana
Jun 18, 2008 - 05:52pm PT
when you take your own travel mug and tea bag to the Los Gatos Roasting Company, steal their hot water, steal their electricity for your LApple cause you're too frikken cheap to buy a new battery for the thing, and the only thing you spend in there is TIME!

That would be TheReal's M.O.!

:-)

eKatTheFake
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Jun 18, 2008 - 05:52pm PT
I also have been to the kind of weddings where everyone's dogs and kids are running loose around us during the ceremony.
We dirtbags love our chaos.

Smiles,
Anastasia
Norwegian

Trad climber
Placerville, California
Jun 18, 2008 - 06:09pm PT
more drift..

jaybro wrote, "...and i'm a respected moulder of young minds."

the 'moulder of young minds' reminds me of a quote:

'education is nothing more than mass hypnosis"

...reelling it back in...

i once was kicked out of a church parking lot bivy in tucson because we were "frightening the youths". the pastor himself gave us the boot and he (of course) didn't even try to witness to us. i took it as the ultimate complement.
Lynne Leichtfuss

Social climber
valley center, ca
Jun 19, 2008 - 12:30am PT
When you have lived in the Leichtfuss Avocado Grove shoveling chicken manure onto the trees.....and you all know who you are!
rlf

Trad climber
Josh, CA
Jun 19, 2008 - 12:33am PT
When your only friend is Tucker Tech.
nutjob

Stoked OW climber
San Jose, CA
Jun 19, 2008 - 02:43am PT
you hike the sierras for weeks at a time with only a trench coat and biscuits in your pocket
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jun 19, 2008 - 02:54am PT
You're a good buddy of the climber named in this article: http://www.fresnobee.com/sports/outdoors/story/675825.html

The climber, "KY", "was a typical Yosemite climbing bum. He had long hair, dressed in raggedy clothes and avoided the park's camping limits by living in a cave near Curry Village."
Michael D

Big Wall climber
Napoli, Italy
Jun 19, 2008 - 05:01am PT
Norwegian, You'll love this. Got the wife and daughter excited about a vacation to Russia...then mentioned, BTW, we'll be climbing Elbrus while there. Sweeeet vacation. Cheers, Michael
noshoesnoshirt

climber
hither and yon
Jun 19, 2008 - 09:26am PT
I once pulled about a thousand packets of those miniature serve airline peanuts out of a dumpster behind some business that stocked food on flights. Lived off 'em for about a month.
I can't really claim full dirtbag - I left the packaged cold-cuts.
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jun 19, 2008 - 09:55am PT
You guys reminded me of a wedding story about a fellow dirtbagger a few years back:

We were exploring new routes in Washington, and my buddy had long hair at the time. We did a free rappel in on this steep wall, and his hair got caught in the rappel device - sucked it through all the way to his scalp - and he started yelling up to send down a knife. I dropped one down the cord, and looked on in morbid fascination as he sawed his hair blindly right next to the skinny 9mm we were rapping on. He cleared his hair, but when we got to the botton he had a big raw spot on his head. He had to go to his brother's wedding the next day, so this is what he did:

He went to Safeway, asked to borrow a pair of scissors from one of the clerks, went into the bathroom and cut his own hair! Apparently, the clerk was mortified when he returned the scissors, seeing the very rough cut he had performed upon himself.

LOL! True dirtbagger!
Mike.

climber
Jun 19, 2008 - 10:47am PT
Haha...good stuff, ya losers.


And I mean that.
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jun 19, 2008 - 10:53am PT
Mike! You comin' up to the office today?

:-)
Mike.

climber
Jun 19, 2008 - 10:57am PT
Damn, E.

I'll be in another office. One with funny light and no wind.

I love climbing with bunk technique--the gobies make me feel like a climber when I'm there...
nita

climber
chica from chico, I don't claim to be a daisy
Jun 19, 2008 - 12:22pm PT
I knew dirtbag climbers who....

slept with concession woman,just to get food and shelter..and sometime drugs.

would cut a raw potato, add ink..then stamp -saved aluminum cans...to get 5 cent deposit.

Scarfed cafe food.. as a way of life.

showed up at friends homes ..at suppertime.

only own towels that have..Yosemite lodge, or some other motel logo on them.



susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 19, 2008 - 12:51pm PT
Hording and gathering condiments from convenience stores, grocery deli's, gas stations and restaurants. When your food box is full of individual size mayo, mustard, ketchup, sugar, crackers & if your really lucky those glass jellies!

Jaybro

Social climber
wuz real!
Jun 19, 2008 - 01:12pm PT
I wonder if my Grandfather was a climber and never told me about it.
we were on a family vacation in Sweden in '71, he must have been 87 or so. Anyway they would have these continental breakfasts with the little jelly containers Sooz mentioned as well as packaged cheeses, suasages, capers, sometimes erzats cavier, etc. we'd sit around and eat for a while and then my brother would nudge me and we would watch my Grandfather fill his sportcoat pockets with that stuff, much to my mom's horror.

Had he been a climber? or was that behavior learned from feeding a family during the depression, maybe?
Anguish

Mountain climber
Jackson Hole Wyo.
Jun 19, 2008 - 02:27pm PT
When you collect raven sh#t out of nests because it makes your pot grow more potent (D. Miller, circa 1975, in JH, as told by YC at his wake)
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Jun 19, 2008 - 02:32pm PT
When you think of taking a bath, you worry about how much it will cost you and try to convince yourself that the river isn't that cold.
kev

climber
CA
Jun 19, 2008 - 02:37pm PT
You mean people pay to shower! Showers are free if you're creative.
divad

Trad climber
wmass
Jun 19, 2008 - 04:26pm PT
Your friends and relatives have to ask on the Taco to locate you.
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 19, 2008 - 04:30pm PT
"Your friends and relatives have to ask on the Taco to locate you."

hhahaa you just outed the Fish Finder
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jun 19, 2008 - 04:31pm PT
Jaybro, I suspect behaviour like your grandfather's isn't unusual among people of his generation from Scandinavia, or for that matter the U.S. and Canada. After the depression and then the war, they learned to be pretty frugal. Even the Swedes, whose economy wasn't hurt as badly during the war, but still was affected.
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Jun 19, 2008 - 05:45pm PT
I am one of those people that always gets caught... I am a lousy liar etc. etc.
:)AF


dickcilley

Social climber
Honolulu
Jun 23, 2008 - 05:32am PT
Enough of this dirtbag stuff.How about "You know you´re climbing Royalty (leisure Baron Etc.)when....The waitresses save your table at the sweetshop,drinks appear at your table without asking,The awhanee pool is your laundermat. the list goes on.Noblesse oblige.
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jun 23, 2008 - 09:33am PT
Hey, Dick! How's that Moss tent I gave you holding up?

Erik Wolfe
philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Jun 23, 2008 - 09:48am PT
When you live for months on expired packs of chips discarded behind the Frito Lay distributor in Gunnison. When you had to decide between buying lunch or a carabiner. When every thing you own fits in a Lowe expedition pack. When the bulk of your soft goods are held together with copious quantities of duct tape.
Mike.

climber
Jun 23, 2008 - 10:44am PT
...your headlamp is so pathetic you build and depend on cairns to find your way. Wait, that's just being stupid.
Dick_Lugar

Trad climber
Indiana (the other Mideast)
Jun 23, 2008 - 11:17am PT
When you try to give homeless people money, they offer to give you money first?
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 23, 2008 - 12:28pm PT
Without naming locations (as this still goes on)

When you charge all your electrics behind ice/candy machines....

When you stock up on tampons from the courtesy baskets.....

philo

Trad climber
boulder, co.
Jun 23, 2008 - 01:03pm PT
When you can't afford a head lamp. So you tape a piece of alpine cord to one of those firefly pinch lights. This you bite down on while trying to find...

A bivy site
for the night
in the pegmatite!
Good thing you can't swallow
while you lead into the hollow
and prey your partner can follow.
But now it's well past late
you've no idea just how to rate
how far to push your fate.
In the pegmatite
for the night
what bivy site?

Sorry that just came out of me like a popcorn fart.
The head lamp thingy is true though.

come to think about so is the story line.

Dirt Bags Unite
drljefe

climber
Calizona
Jun 23, 2008 - 01:11pm PT
When the only piece of Patagonia gear you own came from the Telluride free box.
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:15pm PT
When you can fix any camping stove (Primus, MSR, Coleman, etc.) but have no clue on how to programing a T.V. remote.

When you have hemmed your pants with duct tape. You have used duct tape at least once to patch your jacket, pants, tent, sleeping bag, backpack, etc.

(I admit to all of these.)

AF




susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 23, 2008 - 02:28pm PT
You get tooled for no registration on your rig. The merciful ranger gives you a "fix it ticket" after you explained you have nor permanent address.

Your trip to the DMV's insists on an address so you use.....

1096 Yosemite Drive
Yosemite Valley, CA 95389



Jaybro

Social climber
wuz real!
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:34pm PT
uh-oh, is this (or any) world readyfor multiple Cilleys?
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 23, 2008 - 02:37pm PT
"is this (or any) world ready for multiple Cilleys?"

There is only one true Dick Cilley.
Dick_Lugar

Trad climber
Indiana (the other Mideast)
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:41pm PT
When homeless people offer you their clothing, shoes, etc.
eeyonkee

Trad climber
Golden, CO
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:56pm PT
Other dirt-bag climbers seem snooty.
Anastasia

climber
Not here
Jun 23, 2008 - 02:59pm PT
There is chalk on everything you own.

You have perfected the art of living in a car, tent, portal ledge, etc.

Most of your friends have never visited you in a house/apartment, they always visit you in; Yosemite, Joshua Tree, Stoney Point, etc.

All gatherings you attend are around a campfires.
yosguns

climber
San Francisco, CA
Jun 23, 2008 - 05:03pm PT
Ummm...I'm at work...using a compression strap as a belt because my real belt (which I stole from my f*&#in dirtbag climber boyfriend) is lost in the car from our last trip.

"Can't 'cause I have plans..." without fail means something climbing related, much to the dismay of non-climber friends and family.

Proudest scores extend beyond the climbing world. For instance, bootying two nights in an air-conditioned room in Manhattan in June...going completely undetected and quite happy to avoid sleeping in Union Square, although you seriously consider it a perfectly viable option/backup plan.

divad

Trad climber
wmass
Jun 23, 2008 - 06:33pm PT
Your underwear has more holes than a golf course.



OK, I'll get this in first: What underwear?
MisterE

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jun 23, 2008 - 08:50pm PT
when your jeans wear out, you cut them off to make jorts, which you wear commando until they are so threadbare people start avoiding you after first glance.

Then you save up and go get another used pair at Salvation Army for $3.00.

Repeat as necessary.
Jaybro

Social climber
wuz real!
Jun 23, 2008 - 08:58pm PT

"when your jeans wear out" -and the animal nickname guy refuses to patch them, just sayin'...
khanom

Trad climber
eestsyde
Jun 23, 2008 - 08:59pm PT
You get tooled for no registration on your rig. The merciful ranger gives you a "fix it ticket" after you explained you have nor permanent address.

Tuolumne rangers are nice that way...
originalpmac

Trad climber
Jun 23, 2008 - 09:50pm PT
you are working a temporary landscaping job so you can have money for food and trips, your car is full of tape, chalk, the random sling, sets of stoppers, a beat pair of shoes and a few guidebooks.
Tahoe climber

Trad climber
a dark-green forester out west
Jun 23, 2008 - 09:59pm PT
Original poster: TOILET PAPER!?!

When you don't need toilet paper for days at a time, because (really smooth) rocks and sticks are perfectly acceptable instead.

Yes, really.

TC
nutjob

Stoked OW climber
San Jose, CA
Jun 24, 2008 - 02:57am PT
you really try a dirt bath because "hey, it works for elephants"
dickcilley

Social climber
Honolulu
Jun 24, 2008 - 05:04am PT
You grandfather clause your way into these Sushi Fests.30 bucks for a meal where there aren´t even Waitresses?????Give me a break! I´ll see you at the Ritz.
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - Jun 24, 2008 - 01:15pm PT
When you work YOSAR for a 'good' wage and sack lunch.

AKDOG

Mountain climber
Anchorage, AK
Jun 24, 2008 - 02:10pm PT
When you wear your climbing shoes on the opposite feet because you can’t afford a new pair.

When the worst thing about breaking up with your girl-friend is becoming homeless.
MisterE

Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
May 8, 2009 - 12:08am PT
bump: you have feet like Tucker
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
North of the Owyhees
May 8, 2009 - 12:25am PT
Now....Mister E.
You know that NO ONE has feet like Tucker.
Close, perhaps, but no cigar.
Those are the feet of a champion.
Norwegian

Trad climber
Placerville, California
May 12, 2009 - 03:13pm PT
on a first date, you pick up the girl in a mini-motorhome (your only ride.)

and for the pic-nic / hike, you only bring beer.
drljefe

climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
May 12, 2009 - 03:15pm PT
...when your dog has been more places than most people.
Steve L

climber
Sur
May 12, 2009 - 03:23pm PT
When your Prana capris are from last season.
MisterE

Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
May 12, 2009 - 04:21pm PT
When you ride a bicycle or bum a ride to town from JTree, because you didn't bring a vehicle so you could live in the park for 6 months
drljefe

climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
May 12, 2009 - 04:28pm PT
...when the economic crisis...wait
...what economic crisis?
nutjob

climber
Berkeley, CA
May 12, 2009 - 05:09pm PT
... you finally get a job in silicon valley, and show up to work on your first day with all of your life possessions on your back and a guitar in hand, with no place to stay and no car, and assume you can spend the night at your boss' place.
Norwegian

Trad climber
Placerville, California
May 12, 2009 - 05:33pm PT
when you got recession skills...

http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.html?topic_id=604759&msg=606830#msg606830
Choss Gee

Trad climber
Wyoming/Utah
May 12, 2009 - 10:33pm PT
When..All Five of your dogs eat better than you do.

When..Your once state of the art sleeping bag doesn't even handle the duties of a mosquito net.

When.. There's more rubber on the soles of your feet than the soles of your best shoes.

When.. A bear box is considered a fine bivy.

When..You're worshipped by the trustifarians.

When.. Your bouldering brush also has hygene applications.

When.. You ring out your hair/clothes/skin when your chalk bag is running low.

When.. You go to the produce area of a grocery store for a shower (those misters are wonderful). Extra points if all of the fruits and veggies are discarded when you're finished!
DanaB

climber
Philadelphia
May 13, 2009 - 11:41am PT
You wash out (not wash) your t-shirts and socks and dry them by hanging them on the rear view mirrors as you drive to the next crag.
susan peplow

climber
www.joshuatreevacationhomes.com
Topic Author's Reply - May 13, 2009 - 11:57am PT
You know you're a dirtbag climber when you live in the pull-out just outside of the Yosemite Park boundery. The closest laundry facility is the pool located just down stream from the "Waste Water Treatment Plant".

Rumor has it your clothes were say, less than clean when done "washing" them.
Norwegian

Trad climber
Placerville, California
Mar 16, 2012 - 07:12pm PT
i had to rifle thru my haulbag contents
for a wardrobe and found
what appeared to be clean collar shirt
and wool sweater. my house is
a cool 50 so i sport the attire and
meet my wife for a beer at the main street
pub. i had just plugged in two dollars
worth of dead and was sipping thru
the pleasant head upon my beer
when my wife looks at me with that
sidewinder stink eye and asks,
what the f*#k is that smell.

the bar was warmer, maybe 70
and as my body began to warm up,
those little hibernating bacteria
within my shirts started to party.

all because my wife refuses to do my
laundry cause she always finds lag bolts
and such in the wash after my pants have been thru.
so i never do it and sometimes get desperate for digs.

...dream a million bucks but live fifty cents...
im never poor.
fosburg

climber
Mar 16, 2012 - 07:36pm PT
Curious how Tucker lives "without paying rent". And yes, in my experience, he is the most hardcore Dirthead ever.
ImplicitD

Trad climber
Boise
Mar 18, 2012 - 12:15pm PT
I used to think I was a dirtbag...but sadly, Im not and I know that now.

Like many professionals who climb, I go on vacation and pretend to be a bum. Its fun and, hell, Im proud of it. I bust out my torn dickies pants and torn wool sweater, stop shaving, start the party before noon (my crew calls it the sh#t show), and send sh#t (when not laying around talking about how hard I was back in the day).

Still, I do show up in front of the class, ready to teach, and realize that I have dirt under my nails or I forgot to shave or I accidentally wore that old torn sweater or (gasp now mom) I forgot to shower.

Thats right, Im a professional applying dirt bag techniques to further my quest for a life less ordinary and filled with passion and zest for life. I steal hot water from the student union for my oatmeal, pop into the Marriot Courtyard (on my way to class) to get some free coffee with that old room key I found when my parents stayed there, drive a 93 nissan beater, AND (ok this one will do it) still use a first generation number one camalot (but only when Im not planning on falling (ok, ok, yes color coded neutrinos on the modern camalots)). What's more I always advise young student climbers to quit school and live in a cave in the valley and get solid...skills you can really use in life.

So, to each their own and especially their own interpretation. Of late, Ive found myself pretending to be a dirt bag (on my school breaks (two months a year baby)) with wife (knock, knock, knock on wood here ) and an assorted entourage of coeds (Im married and thus safe) heading to the crag to climb...and who do you think is the ropegun baby? We call ourselves team NEON and our motto is "We put the wierd back into climbing."

Exactly, lower your standards a bit (setting myself up here for a heckle) and maximize enjoyment by the reinvention of an old construct.

Thats right...hoot hoot ...thats right ImplicitD in the house Uh Uh Go Implicit Go Implicit its your birthday...everyday....being hardcore is way too overrated.

And props to Tucker, whom I met once (he asked me why on earth I hiked all the way up to Half Dome when there is a rather large roadside crag down the street), for without him we would have no reference point. He and Chongo are my dirtbag heros and will, inevitably, be the characters in bedtime stories for my kids...something to strive for when one turns eightteen.
Norwegian

Trad climber
Pollock Pines, California
Feb 5, 2013 - 07:07pm PT
ah'v this sturdy habit
of pissing into empty bottles.

this tendency stirs of my
validated fears of epiditimitus,
which is a terrible and painful infection of the testies.

so whenever i gotta go, i go,
and i usually just find whatever empty container presents
itself...

(once it was my friend's bong, but that's another story...)

so i often find bottles full of piss,
just kicken about my confines.

twice my wife has taken a pull
from innocent looking water bottles,
only to get a too-salty-treat, but that's another story...

i've taken to leaning into wee pulls from
my piss cup, just a swill here and there,
cause im training my physiology to endure
urine on the intake,
cause i've been, too,
too often in times where
my piss is the last means of hydration up
against desperation.
KP Ariza

climber
SCC
Feb 5, 2013 - 07:45pm PT
Your only pair of shorts smells worse than a round of Red Hawk Cheese.....thats been sitting in the sun....for two weeks.
dogtown

Trad climber
Cheyenne, Wyoming and Marshall Islands atoll.
Feb 5, 2013 - 08:02pm PT
Can you out-dirt-bag Tucker Tech; no!
2. You only own one pair of shoes ( Besides climbing);..sandals only.

3. You climb in a swami only....(Leg loops are for sissys) yes!

4. You never have paid for rent. Yes!

5. You lived in a cave for 5 years. my basement Yes!

6. You have done back to back walls without bathing in between. Yes!

7. You only bathe every month or two. Yes!

8. You never comb your hair. have no hair Yes!

9. YOu have only been to the doctors twice;...both times others took you there because you were unconscious. Yes!

10. YOu haven't been to the dentist in over 30 years. No.

11. You don't own any underware. no

12. You don't carry water in your climbing pack, or on climbs;....only beer.No

13. You use lounge chairs "borrowed" from the lodge and convert them into porta-ledges for El Cap routes. No!

14. You jumar with the haulbag on your back as you clean aid pitches while soloing walls. What? Nut bag not dirt bag!

15. All your clothes you own were given to you . yes

16. You have lived on less than 1000 a year yes .

17. Thirty f*#k-in years ago

18. You gotta admit I’m close

19. Love to all dirt bags & Surf bums for we have a life!
briham89

Big Wall climber
san jose, ca
Feb 5, 2013 - 08:05pm PT
...you eat leftover bacon off tourons' plates in the lodge. Definitely done that a few times

You eat with a nut tool because you don't have a spoon or fork
Norwegian

Trad climber
Pollock Pines, California
Feb 5, 2013 - 08:12pm PT
you look at the apostrophe
as an a3 placement
upon which you hang
possession,
and youre happy when it
blows,
and then most of them
other diction pitches
up life's toil
you just skip the
grammatical hook
and run it out
happily without proper
pro.
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
Feb 5, 2013 - 08:27pm PT
I haven't expressed appreciation for Norwegian observations in a while; that last was an interesting one!

You know you're a dirtbag climber when someone else on Supertopo started a thread to collect money for you or host a fundraiser.
Gorgeous George

Trad climber
Los Angeles, California
Feb 6, 2013 - 08:00pm PT
NECESITO POCO,

Y LO POCO QUE NECESITO,

LO NECESITO POCO.
rlf

Trad climber
Josh, CA
Feb 6, 2013 - 09:24pm PT
When Tucker is the only person who will climb with you...
kennyt

climber
Woodfords,California
Feb 6, 2013 - 09:25pm PT
You can't post on supertopo cause yer busy climbing!
Don Paul

Big Wall climber
Colombia, South America
Feb 6, 2013 - 09:39pm PT

George - aquí está el artículo completo, para que le citó solo el título:

Será porque tres de mis más queridos amigos se han enfrentado inesperadamente estas Navidades a enfermedades gravísimas. O porque, por suerte para mí, mi compañero es un hombre que no posee nada material pero tiene el corazón y la cabeza más sanos que he conocido y cada día aprendo de él algo valioso. O tal vez porque, a estas alturas de mi existencia, he vivido ya las suficientes horas buenas y horas malas como para empezar a colocar las cosas en su sitio. Será, quizá, porque algún bendito ángel de la sabiduría ha pasado por aquí cerca y ha dejado llegar una bocanada de su aliento hasta mí. El caso es que tengo la sensación –al menos la sensación– de que empiezo a entender un poco de qué va esto llamado vida.

Casi nada de lo que creemos que es importante me lo parece. Ni el éxito, ni el poder, ni el dinero, más allá de lo imprescindible para vivir con dignidad. Paso de las coronas de laureles y de los halagos sucios. Igual que paso del fango de la envidia, de la maledicencia y el juicio ajeno. Aparto a los quejumbrosos y malhumorados, a los egoístas y ambiciosos que aspiran a reposar en tumbas llenas de honores y cuentas bancarias, sobre las que nadie derramará una sola lágrima en la que quepa una partícula minúscula de pena verdadera. Detesto los coches de lujo que ensucian el mundo, los abrigos de pieles arrancadas de un cuerpo tibio y palpitante, las joyas fabricadas sobre las penalidades de hombres esclavos que padecen en las minas de esmeraldas y de oro a cambio de un pedazo de pan.

Rechazo el cinismo de una sociedad que sólo piensa en su propio bienestar y se desentiende del malestar de los otros, a base del cual construye su derroche. Y a los malditos indiferentes que nunca se meten en líos. Señalo con el dedo a los hipócritas que depositan una moneda en las huchas de las misiones pero no comparten la mesa con un inmigrante. A los que te aplauden cuando eres reina y te abandonan cuando te salen pústulas. A los que creen que sólo es importante tener y exhibir en lugar de sentir, pensar y ser.

Y ahora, ahora, en este momento de mi vida, no quiero casi nada. Tan sólo la ternura de mi amor y la gloriosa compañía de mis amigos. Unas cuantas carcajadas y unas palabras de cariño antes de irme a la cama. El recuerdo dulce de mis muertos. Un par de árboles al otro lado de los cristales y un pedazo de cielo al que se asomen la luz y la noche. El mejor verso del mundo y la más hermosa de las músicas. Por lo demás, podría comer patatas cocidas y dormir en el suelo mientras mi conciencia esté tranquila.

También quiero, eso sí, mantener la libertad y el espíritu crítico por los que pago con gusto todo el precio que haya que pagar. Quiero toda la serenidad para sobrellevar el dolor y toda la alegría para disfrutar de lo bueno. Un instante de belleza a diario. Echar desesperadamente de menos a los que tengan que irse porque tuve la suerte de haberlos tenido a mi lado. No estar jamás de vuelta de nada. Seguir llorando cada vez que algo lo merezca,pero no quejarme de ninguna tontería. No convertirme nunca, nunca, en una mujer amargada, pase lo que pase. Y que el día en que me toque esfumarme, un puñadito de personas piensen que valió la pena que yo anduviera un rato por aquí. Sólo quiero eso. Casi nada o todo.
Mark Force

Trad climber
Cave Creek, AZ
Feb 14, 2013 - 11:07pm PT
To clean my palate from a recent "to dirtbag or not to dirtbag" post bump
Captain...or Skully

climber
Feb 15, 2013 - 12:08am PT
The dirtbags have left the building.
Mark Force

Trad climber
Cave Creek, AZ
Feb 15, 2013 - 12:26am PT
I know I can't be a dirtbag because I'm posting this off my iPad!
Spider Savage

Mountain climber
The shaggy fringe of Los Angeles
Feb 15, 2013 - 12:43am PT
You sleep in a phone booth curled up in a fetal position on the floor because there is a raging wet blizzard going on and you don't even think of owning a tent. Oh, and one of the glass panels is kicked out so you find a soggy remnant of a cardboard box to cover it and put your back against it to hold it in place.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Feb 15, 2013 - 12:47am PT
When you use a Jumar you picked up at the base of El Cap for 20 years?
Or is that just stoopid?
Mark Force

Trad climber
Cave Creek, AZ
Feb 15, 2013 - 09:25am PT
Spider and Reilly, you both are poster boy dirtbags!
eKat

Trad climber
Less than a second shy of 49 minutes
Feb 15, 2013 - 09:28am PT
you look at the apostrophe
as an a3 placement
upon which you hang
possession,
and youre happy when it
blows,
and then most of them
other diction pitches
up life's toil
you just skip the
grammatical hook
and run it out
happily without proper
pro.

This is THEE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN!
hooblie

climber
from out where the anecdotes roam
Feb 15, 2013 - 01:34pm PT
... when you rub a dub scrub your duds in situ over a sprinkler,
then drip dry down the sidewalk rockin' that polecat swagger
drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
Feb 16, 2013 - 08:06am PT
....when those Ibuprfens that have been floating around in your pack forever look pretty darned appetizing.
Crackslayer

Trad climber
Eldo
Feb 16, 2013 - 10:40am PT
You know you're a dirtbag when...you accept dirtbagging as a good thing. It's funny how in this sport the person who dirtbags the hardest wins.
locker

Social climber
FukUville
Feb 16, 2013 - 10:43am PT


If they don't already have them...

Someone should make up some, "I'm a DIRTBAG CLIMBER" stickers so PHONIES can stick them on their BMW's and wait to get ripped off at Santanas in JTree...

Norwegian

Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
Mar 3, 2013 - 09:55pm PT
i show up to a meeting
with a new client.
im tidied the best i can.

got my computer bag,
calculator,
shoes tied (bowlines)
socks match,
underwear clean,

pencil is sharp,
ink pen moist.

we sit down in leather cap'n
chairs at the fancy
wood table.

my phone vibrates in my pocket.
so i pull the thing out to answer.

it only works on speaker setting
because my wife ran over it a few months
back. the guts on the flip lid
sprang all the hell over the place
so i duc-taped it back together.

the display don't work,
the thing is fixed on vibration mode,

so i take the call on speaker,
and it's one of my other clients
(competitor of my potential client)
and we begin to chat about a project.

i have to step out of the conference room,
and when i come back in,

the mood is light, laughter and glee seem
to thrive, and i win the contract.
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:34pm PT
...went for a hike last week but didn't drink the 1.5 liter of Gatorade, left it un-refrigerated in the pack all week, and took it along today but didn't tell the wife. After drinking a liter of it today I noticed some strange fibrous masses seemingly swimming around in it. She was not amused. The next 20 hours will tell.
Snowmassguy

Trad climber
Calirado
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:38pm PT
^^^Kombucha-aid
jabbas

Trad climber
phx AZ
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:39pm PT
Man , you guys are tough. The most dirt bag of us all would lay on the dirt around the dying fire at a campground fire at JT and hope for a strip of thinsulite for a pillow or hope for a bag of garbage as a comfy pillow.
Norwegian

Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:44pm PT
reily my wife
took a pull from my piss bottle,
cause i left it in the cup holder
of our vehicle.

she was not amused.
part-time communist

Mountain climber
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:47pm PT
I slept in here later that night during a massive wind/sand storm in t...
I slept in here later that night during a massive wind/sand storm in the desert.
Credit: part-time communist
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Mar 3, 2013 - 10:47pm PT
Weege! HaHaHaHa!, Man, mine woulda made me run alongside the car.
"But, Honey, it is sterile!"
Norwegian

Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
May 23, 2013 - 12:00pm PT
you break out all the windows
of your abode
and put bars on the door.

that way the fools seeking material gain
easily realize their knightmare,

while i, the king
am deterred from entering:
my dungeon disguised as castle,
and so unencumbered,
i conquer undiscovered worlds.

JOEY.F

Gym climber
It's not rocket surgery
May 25, 2013 - 10:57pm PT
you actually find this position relaxing on the commute bus


Credit: JOEY.F
Sierra Ledge Rat

Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
May 26, 2013 - 08:21am PT
^^^
part time pinko

you are the dirt bag king
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