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capseeboy
Social climber
portland, oregon
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Topic Author's Original Post - Feb 21, 2019 - 09:01am PT
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Seems like people really enjoy complaining just about more than anything else in life. Edit#2 This is the thread dedicated to laughing about it. Edit#3 spelling has always been a challenge for me, oh well, dinning seems more apropos.
1. Pull into small, to go shack, and order a burrito. I hear them open a microwave and slam door. After two bites I huck it out the car window. This is the only time I have ever thrown food(?) out.Edit#4 not true.
2.Go to small PDX Asian place with small group. Everything ordered is placed on the table---it all looks and tastes the same---everyone starts laughing.
3. Go to large empty dark Mexican place mid-afternoon with girlfriend in Redmond OR. I order some meat dish. I gag on the first bite. Waitress asks if everything is OK. I tell her that I have lost my appetite. She asks me if I would like to try again. I decline.
4.Go to upscale looking brick place in downtown Redmond OR with a group of people; it's my friend's friend birthday. An hour after we order people are becoming a little anxious. My toasted cheese and fries arrive cold---I meekly complain. My friend's lobster plate arrives and he can barely cut it with a fork. He mentions it to the waitress. She replies that she can take it back to the kitchen to be cooked some more.
Edit#1. 5. Go to small cafe in NE PDX to hear my fiend's mom play in small band. The food case is covered in goo and there are greasy cobwebs hanging from the ceiling and all the hanging artifacts--scary. I stick with coffee and friend orders--- not sure what---later he complains of not feeling to well. The employees there looked hygienically challenged too.
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ontheedgeandscaredtodeath
Social climber
Wilds of New Mexico
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Feb 21, 2019 - 09:23am PT
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I was on a long surf trip to Peru and was hanging out with a sweet doctora in a small town with a great point break (those were the days!!!). She took me to her family's place a few hours away and we went out to dinner with her parents. They insisted on taking us to a Chinese restaurant and made sure I had more than enough to eat. I don't like Chinese places in the U.S. and this one was about 10 times worse than any I had been to before or since. I went to the rest room and got a glimpse of the kitchen and knew I was going down.
Sure enough, later that night (in the doctora's parents house) I started blowing chunks like every 15 minutes all night and the next day. Luckily, her dad was a doctor too and he dosed me with an antibiotic that set me straight.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Feb 21, 2019 - 09:24am PT
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Hands down - the chinese in the basement of the bowling alley in Tahsis, Vancouver Island.
Ho, man!
The best - being outta food at base camp and stuck for a week cause the helos couldn’t come git us. We dug through our garbage dump and re-defined “Serve by xx/xx.” Found loaves of mouldy bread which we cut the mouldiest bits off of and fried the living hell out of with our remaining cooking oil. So good!
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Winemaker
Sport climber
Yakima, WA
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Feb 21, 2019 - 09:33am PT
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WTF is 'dinning'? My worst dining experience, if you can call it dinning, was on a trip years ago from Seattle to Alabama at Christmas. We had to go via Arizona to pick up my brother and his wife so the route took us through Amarillo, Texas. We came through Amarillo at about 5:30 am and desperately needed breakfast. Stopped at The LA Motel outside Amarillo. Greasy powdered eggs, some sort of mystery meat sausage, white bread with oil for toast, instant coffee, fake cream. Damn it was so bad and we needed good. Will never forget that 'meal'.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Feb 21, 2019 - 09:36am PT
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MGuzzy, got seated at a posh outside bistro in Strasbourg a couple years ago and then pointedly ignored because we were American even though La Femme is a native speaker. Found a nice friendly little Italian joint nearby. Urban French can really test my tolerance. Love the country folk though.
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mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
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Feb 21, 2019 - 09:42am PT
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Like DMT, I would just as soon forget the worst and only recall with fond memories the ones which were pleasing.
I had a friend who just loved to pick apart the foibles and shortcomings of fancy-grade restaurants run by locals who have no clue to what fine dining REALLY SHOULD BE.
You don't cover linen table cloths with plastic.
Serve the food on china which is not cracked, chipped, or faded.
Serve the food using the same dish patterns, not a collection of stuff from a Goodwill.
Always look for spotless utensils and napkin to be set before you are seated...you should not have to have the table cleared while you are sitting there.
Look at the servers' fingernails. Are they clean? And do YOU bother to wash yur own chalky scabby gnarly hands?
What music is in the background? I appreciate all kinds, but mellow jazz is appropriate for most upscale places, unless they are REALLY classy and have a live string quartet. (Not really my kinda place at all, just sayin'. Zoe, my friend in question, had been around the Bay Area and knew the Chez Panissers well, selling them salad makin's.)
Set standards and live up to them.
Good food goes a long ways towards forgiveness, however.
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formerclimber
Boulder climber
CA
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Feb 21, 2019 - 09:48am PT
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I don't eat in restaurants, neither eat any street food. In the early 90s Russia: when you're really hungry and haven't seen anything but rice or potatoes in a very long time, no more oil, lard or butter for a long time (and none to buy in empty stores), and then, you see meat pies being sold in the street and desperately want one and spend all your remaining money to buy one, but not really sure if it's human, rat, or stray dog meat in them. "Worst pies in London"
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Feb 21, 2019 - 09:51am PT
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What, you wouldn’t have a glass of kvas from a tank truck in Samarkand after it was wiped ‘clean’ with a nasty looking rag? 😊
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capseeboy
Social climber
portland, oregon
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2019 - 09:53am PT
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Look at the servers' fingernails. Are they clean? And do YOU bother to wash yur own chalky scabby gnarly hands?
OMG thanks for reminding me.
So I meet this really nice guy outside this pizza place in pdx who gives me a cigg after I asked for one. We are yuking it up when I notice his disgusting filthy long finger nails.
He tells me he has to go back to work and walks into the back kitchen of the pizza joint. Edit#1to throw some dough. Ha Ha.
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capseeboy
Social climber
portland, oregon
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2019 - 10:01am PT
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^^^^wow glad I didn't re-order. BTW my visit was many moons ago. Basically why I don't post names of place---never know if under new management.
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capseeboy
Social climber
portland, oregon
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2019 - 10:40am PT
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I never blame the server as they have no control of what goes on in the kitchen, just saying, don't shoot the messenger.
Did a short stint as a pearl diver at a really prodigious place in Bend OR. It was owned by a private party for many years and sold to a corporation. Man was it a greasy kitchen. The walkins were less than clean and they were not on the to do list. The kitchen layout was very cramped. We were suppose to run the floor mats through the dishwasher at the end of the night. Customers usually commented on how good the food was.
Btw bacteria does not grow in fat/oil; it grows in proteins and carbs.
He owned a fleet of old bombers and would load up the bomb bays with ice and fish from the coast then fly them to inland restaurants in Denver, KC etc.
Reminds me of the book Catch 22 with the wheeler dealer guy who hustled produce and goods on the planes.
Found a nice friendly little Italian joint nearby. Urban French can really test my tolerance.
Went to a place there in Axe where my ex girlfriend's ex boyfriend was the cook. I had an intuition that this was not going to go well. Got served some really tough chicken! Ha Ha.
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Fritz
Social climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Feb 21, 2019 - 10:46am PT
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DMT. I enjoy Sushi near the ocean, but otherwise, experience has taught me one add-on rule to your basic rule:
DMT rule: Its a simple rule really - do not enter any sushi restaurant more than a two-hour drive from the ocean. Ever.
So no Kansas City sushi, I don't care how may stars or how many $$$$ they have in their google rating. Phoenix, Denver, Dallas, Nashville, Chicago; NO! No sushi for me!
Fritz rule: Stop at the Sushi place entrance & take a deep smell of the air wafting from inside. If it smells like rotten-fish, don't go in.
Back about 30 years, Heidi & I were in Denver & a young, but enthusiastic, sales-rep friend took us to the what he termed "the best sushi in Boulder."
The eatery was on the 2nd floor of an old house, & as we walked up the stairs, the rotten fish odor got stronger, until it was nearly gag-worthy. Heidi & I braced our friend about the odor, before we went in, & after thinking about it for a minute, he agreed that the air smelled a "little-off."
We left.
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okay, whatever
climber
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Feb 21, 2019 - 11:04am PT
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Sushi in Japan has always been excellent, in my experience, even in inexpensive venues. I've had good sushi in the US, too, but it is not always all that great, unfortunately. And I don't mean to diss the proprietors of US sushi places... sourcing great raw fish on a consistent basis is clearly not easy.
And I lived in Boulder for a significant portion of my adult life... I lived there 1978-1992, and again from 2003-2005. I'm curious what sushi venue(s) in Boulder you're referring to from those eras, Fritz.
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capseeboy
Social climber
portland, oregon
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 21, 2019 - 11:09am PT
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Another food cart experience in pdx.
A friend, who really is a voracious and undiscriminating gourmand wanted to grab something to eat. So we stop at this Asian cart with a non-Asian worker. We both order the same meat sandwich thing. My first bite and I start gagging and spit it out while he happily woofs his down. I offer him mine and he declines, so I throw it out.
The next day he complains of having a bad night, probably that sandwich, he says.
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Don Lauria
Trad climber
Bishop, CA
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Feb 21, 2019 - 11:16am PT
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I can highly recommend Yamatani the Japanese restaurant in Bishop, CA. You can't get to the ocean without going "around the horn" (avoiding the Sierra Nevada). Excellent sushi! And it's a minimum of 270 miles from the ocean.
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Cragar
climber
MSLA - MT
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Feb 21, 2019 - 11:21am PT
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Speaking of sushi, anybody know what they treat the fish at those new Poke places?
Man, I tried a bowl here and it felt like I was ingesting some kind of chemical weirdness. It is in MT and to keep it affordable, I would think it must have some kind of treatment?
Everything basically looked attractive but my tongue gave me bad news.
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skywalker1
Trad climber
co
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Feb 21, 2019 - 11:24am PT
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Hmmm....I've been thinking about traveling to Kenya in August and wondering what kind of "training" I should do for my "micro biome" leading up. I just assume it's gonna suck for a day or two. Do I go veggie? Maybe just soups.
Backpacking is always a roll of the dice...
Thread drift?
Anyway.
Cheers!
S......
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AP
Trad climber
Calgary
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Feb 21, 2019 - 11:25am PT
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Don't eat at a roadside truck stop in India or Nepal unless you like a 3 day old curried mess. Better to buy some bananas.
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madbolter1
Big Wall climber
Denver, CO
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Feb 21, 2019 - 11:37am PT
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Beware of "Asian Fusion" in all its forms.
Small buffet near our office; thus, we want it to be good. No joy.
Main ingredient? Grease of unknown origin.
Noodles, dumplings, donuts, undifferentiated "seafood," etc. Tasteless and greasy mush.
One plate each, almost all of which stayed on the table as we exited.
In all my travels, that local badness still ranks worst.
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Fritz
Social climber
Choss Creek, ID
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Feb 21, 2019 - 12:06pm PT
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Ok Whatever! Re your question:
I'm curious what sushi venue(s) in Boulder you're referring to from those eras, Fritz.
As a sales-rep, I ate in a lot of eateries, both good & bad, but I am hard-pressed to remember names, except for a very few favorites.
This joint was in an old 2 story house or small apartment, a half/mile or so east of downtown Boulder. It was in a mixed old residential & business neighborhood.
And of course the old adage: Don't every eat at a place called Mom's, is still true. I have also added the come-ons: "all you can eat," "Family-dining," & "Kids eat free," to my list of places to never, ever, visit.
And, especially, don't ever, ever, ask a fat person about best eateries. They think in terms of volume, not taster or presentation.
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