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bixquite
Social climber
humboldt nation
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Sep 13, 2016 - 10:07am PT
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Thanks for the link Yosgun. A teacher once told me the Buddah would be just as stoked caught inside as in the barrel, it's all surfing. Hang in there flip flop, and look for the channel. You got a little charger to look after. Fall is coming, hit me up if you want to hike to big flat.
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Reeotch
climber
4 Corners Area
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Sep 13, 2016 - 10:42am PT
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What would the deceased have us do?
Live!!!!!
Step away from the cemetery. Honor, but don't dwell.
We all will have more time in the cemetery than we'll know what to do with . . . ;)
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hobo_dan
Social climber
Minnesota
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Sep 13, 2016 - 06:16pm PT
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My neighbors son had a terrible disease. At one years old he had to have his legs amputated in an attempt to stave off the illness that eventually took his young life.
I was talking with my neighbor about this and he told me there was nothing you could have done to prepare for the sadness, he said it was something that you "just did".
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Sep 13, 2016 - 07:46pm PT
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Thanks for this thread yosguns.
Here's something I wrote.
some days it's like a punch in the stomach,
sleep that won't leave your eyes,
a heavy rock hidden inside your backpack.
but the thing about grief,
it's also like a rainbow.
Lots of good words here, tough ones too.
I'm not sure I can narrow down how I've dealt with loss and grief.
They seem like constant companions.
Here in Tucson we have the All Souls Procession- a multicultural version of Dia de los Muertos, where we remember, celebrate, honor, and grieve together...100,000 of us.
It's a very special event and very helpful for me.
Also, my family and I shared our journey of pain, grief, and healing rather publicly.
That was also of great help to us and as we found out, to others as well.
Here's a link to part of my journey.
http://www.supertopo.com/climbers-forum/2490736/Heavens-To-Betsy-Climbing-and-healing
Thanks again everyone.
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Brokedownclimber
Trad climber
Douglas, WY
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Sep 15, 2016 - 05:32pm PT
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Hardly a day passes without seeing another "RIP" here on the Taco Stand, so this is in lieu of a simple bump, and is for all those lost and to their loved ones...
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Bldrjac
Ice climber
Boulder
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Sep 15, 2016 - 07:28pm PT
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Feeling it hard tonight, not sure why, just sitting here grading papers
....in my vision I'm on my surfboard, and from time to time get totally wiped out by a rogue set, bounced around and flailing. But it's happened to me so many times I know I can and will find my board again, get back on it and catch my breath for awhile. Slowly, the sun comes back up, and I see a perfect waves, and have a perfect ride, feeling nothing but love, beauty and happiness. I can have the patience to ride out the holddowns because after 4 1/2 years into my own grief, I know that for the most part it's the rogue waves that get me. Early on it was just unrelenting set after unrelenting set, with the random great ride to keep my confidence up. Like Lynne I think, "where has this time gone?" I still feel him like it was yesterday.
I've appreciated reading all your words.....it is a weird thing to do, to grieve. And it has a strange, intense beauty when I look at it a certain way. Anyway....................
Pam
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Trad climber
Will know soon
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Sep 20, 2016 - 09:53pm PT
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Thinking of you tonight, Pam.
Thinking of all that are sad, who have just lost someone they care for or are still processing loss from years ago.
I encourage myself to live, to capture life, to explore. I know that's what Dan would have wanted....wants me to do.
You are all in my heart tonight even if we have never met. lynnie
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Bldrjac
Ice climber
Boulder
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Sep 21, 2016 - 04:10pm PT
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It's funny......sometimes I feel that now I am living for 2. I am very definitely still adventuring, being active, getting involved in new things, making lots of plans for the future. It's how I was before Jack, and during Jack....and I know that's what he'd want for me even though he is no longer physically here. We actually talked about the possibility from time to time Most days,I'm enjoying the hell out of life. I DO feel like I have a better appreciation for all things in life....nature, beauty, friendships, emotions....it's like getting a taste of grief heightens awareness in all areas. I feel things much more acutely and intensely, which actually feels positive. Just miss him, is all.
Thanks Lynne, as always. Perhaps we will meet one day!
best,
Pam
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Kalimon
Social climber
Ridgway, CO
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Sep 21, 2016 - 08:33pm PT
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Life is fleeting, fragile and transitory . . . we should always remember this and embrace each moment with acceptance, humility and patience.
It is O.K. to be selfish . . . we can only truly live for our self.
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GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
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Sep 21, 2016 - 08:57pm PT
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Damn why did I have to go on and open that... :(
Thanks
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Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
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Sep 21, 2016 - 10:45pm PT
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Sometimes life can be so cruel
Which makes it all that much more important
With what little time we have
That we live, we laugh, we cry,
We give and share with the world
Spending as much time as possible with those we love
We chose to love and love again
And to laugh in the face of oblivion.
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Mike Honcho
Trad climber
Golden, CO
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Sep 22, 2016 - 09:53am PT
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http://www.blanketstunts.com/new-blog/2015/7/16/until-dawn-do-us-part
Well, it’s not what I expected. I’ll do my best to describe it. So I’m at this sweet party, the music’s on point and everyone’s mixing it up, you know, getting amongst it. I’m not quite feeling it yet so I post up at the bar. Drink in hand I start working my way through the crowd.
I’m on my way to the center when I notice that one dude is absolutely killin’ it in a f*#kin’ bird costume with feathers everywhere. The whole center of the dance floor seems to be stoked off this guy and I start dancing my ass of with them. I remember hearing about this dude once, I think at a party in LA, or maybe it was that I saw a video of him crushing it at The Burn.
Anyway, it doesn’t really matter because he’s bringing the whole room’s game up. I’m vibing with this girl who’s feeling the same energy and the song just keeps getting better and better. Heads down, hands in the air, drinks being spilled everywhere, no one cares about anything but dancing together.
Just as the beat’s getting super heavy I look up to find the birdman and see what kind of moves he’s going to throw down, but during the raging he had danced his way toward the door and walked out before the song had ended, his half-heard farewell still lingering in the air.
The beat switched up and everyone in the center picked their head up to notice he was gone. Even the DJ gave him a shout out and the people around the outside, along with the new arrivals, looked around quickly trying to figure out what they’d missed.
And as much fun as I’m still having I wish he’d stayed, and I wish I could’ve gotten one more song in with him, but the party must go on…
Me: “So that’s what it’s like to be in an extreme sports community which loses someone, once a month, that you may not have known all that well.”
Stranger: “So what’s it like when you lose someone that you did know? Is it still like being at a party?”
Me: “No.”
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E
Ice climber
mogollon rim
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Sep 22, 2016 - 10:07am PT
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"we climb and we die...that is how we live"
an old norse saying that i changed slightly to fit the day
EE
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bixquite
Social climber
humboldt nation
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Sep 22, 2016 - 10:44am PT
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On my way to my sisters memorial back east. I'm using the forum / therapy group this morning for all it's worth. I was talking with my son about the I Ching and the study of natures forces. When fire burns through a forest where does it go? Well my love, my sweet child o mine, home skillet, your roots go down into my soul and forever give me light love laughter and tears. I will forever dance and play music for you my big chicken.
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Gunkie
Trad climber
Valles Marineris
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Sep 22, 2016 - 11:28am PT
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Thanks yosguns. Just lost a nephew today. I'm drowning right now under those 100 foot waves that come every 10 seconds. Can't imagine what my brother is going through.
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Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
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Sad, Sad Sunday
When I die I'll wait till Monday
The chimes will be quieter
The leaves less crinkly
I can't bear the thought of leaving
When leaving escapes love
On a Sunday
No wind will be blowing
No sun burning bright
I cannot die on Sunday
It's bitter memories have left their stain
Though some have been alright
Still, I'll wait to die on a Monday
If you don't mind
I lied, it doesn't matter if you do
I would not die the day she said goodbye
When God never showed his face
To honor her anyway
She didn't deserve that
She only followed the doctors orders
Leaving one year to the day
So don't let me die on Sunday
If you care, I know you do
The rest of the week will do
My prerogative, a change of heart
Postponing an announcement
Call me indecisive
But Sunday can't hold the power
After all to call the shots
It ain't right
-bushman
10/02/2016
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Flip Flop
climber
Earth Planet, Universe
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Oh god Gunkie. That's so devastating. Deepest condolences.
Bushman you are a talent.
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Vitaliy M.
Mountain climber
San Francisco
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What Flip Flop said, sorry to hear Gunkie.
It has been a tough month, thanks for posting this Allyson. Losing good people all around is tough...
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Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
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Losing a child is unimaginable to me, I'm sorry for you and your brother, Gunkie.
Once a young cousin of ours lost his dad (Uncle Joe Madrid) after a long and devastating illness. I told the boy how sorry I was that he lost his dad. He said to me, "thanks, but it's not your fault." I thought he must have gotten tired of hearing it and kids can be so honest sometimes. I always laugh to myself a little whenever I remember it.
The boy had a rocky start and we all as a family looked out for him and his opportunity. For a while when in high school he wanted to enlist, but because he was the only Madrid left from his side of the family, we counseled him to stay in school through college. Not that we wouldn't be proud of him for volunteering to serve his country, but his aunts and grandma were all worried. He's on his way to becoming a career fireman now, proud.
Death
So unexpected in all it's immediacy
Even when expected
Is so permanently vexing
As though the void left by a loved one
Concusses
By their lack of presence
For long into the future
Who we are
A parent, sibling, child, aunt, uncle, niece or nephew,
Or a close friend
Beloved family member
In-laws, outlaws, suffering, lost or taken
Each defines how or who we are
In every infinite and finite measure
A part of us goes with them
Severed from us
Sometimes their death is reconciled
Or quietly understood
Others leave a temple road
Intersecting every avenue of our lives
Whatever grief that we are left with
It cannot be diminished
Before its time
-bushman
10/02/2016
October's tough for me. October 3rd my late mother's birthday, October 5th the day I lost my brother. It was way, way harder for her. Thanks for listening.
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yedi
Trad climber
Stanwood,wa
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Having lost our 24yr old son two years ago I can attest to the excruciating pain a parent goes through as we watched our son die. I will probably never be the same, our world changed forever that day. I do have times of joy but the way I see my reality has been forever altered I'm afraid.
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