What Is Trad ?????????

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Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Topic Author's Original Post - Apr 8, 2013 - 03:43pm PT
Trad:
Start from the bottom, carry gear on a sling, protect as you go, top out, pound chest and yell like Tarzan.
Fall on the way up? Lower down, pull rope, try again. Three strikes and your out. At the worst, yoyo.

Dig?
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 8, 2013 - 03:43pm PT
Tarbussier Profiles™: Identifying The Genuine Trad Climber

Age:
 irrelevant (see: perpetual adolescence)

Clothing:
 knickers
 painter' s pants
 blue jeans (cuffs optional)
 Chouinard standup shorts
 rugby shirt
 faded Hawaiian shirt
 faded & torn t-shirt
 your shirt
 your girlfriend' s shirt!
 no shirt

footwear:
 Kronies
 Cortinas
 Spiders
 Blue Meanies (RRs)
 RDs
 PAs
 EBs
 FeeRays
 anything that edges
 JapFlaps
 Huaraches

Coiffure:
 kooky pointed felt hat
 terswary cap
 balaclava (not to be confused with baklava)
 headband
 unkempt curls (see: dirt & leaves)

Smell
 tincture of benzoin
 sweat
 loose pussy

Disposition:
 abstruse
 haughty
 disingenuously competitive
 obsequious, if you are a holdin’
 thoroughly and completely unrepentant
 shiftless
 way, way stubborn

Behavior
 no beta
 sleep in the dirt and like it
 makes own gear
 never quite sure of the outcome, but doesn't give a sh*t and goes anyway
 shares food, stash and adventure with complete strangers

Occupation:
 perpetually unemployed
 opportunist
 itinerant mooch

Income Stream:
 minimal to nonexistent
 no visible means of support
 canning
 bangin' nails
 temporary girlfriend

Diet:
 cafeteria scraps (see: scarfing)
 bunk weed
 cheap beer
 sarcasm

Career Aspirations:
 nil to none
 hand cracks, rurps, hauling
 seasonal girlfriend

Love Life:
 only two women in the whole wide world would/could possibly love him: his mom, his grandma

Hobbies:
 eat, sleep, sex*, drink, dream
*see: chronic masturbation

Precepts:
 training is for cheaters
 stretching is for girls
 yoga is for sport climbers
 sport climbers are neither
 a drop knee is something that occurs when your knee replacement goes bad
 flagging is what happens to you on every approach
 deadpoints are the arguments made by sport climbers
 a high ball problem is a testicular condition induced by cold weather, or simply the lack of a fresh drink
 a knee bar is a thing you have to wear to keep your leg from buckling
 a dynamic move is...a move
 a static move is...a failure to move
 chains are something used to lock up your bicycle

Quotes:
 "I am trad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore!!!"

Defining Characteristics:
 defensive posture
 stoned
 well acclimated to downtime
 thoroughly misunderstood
 fit, lean, bricked (see: lats)
 boldly goes where no man has gone before!*
*...and where no one in their right mind would ever in their wildest dreams even consider going.
**no, not for any amount of money, loose p$ssy, fame, adulation or more m$ney ... Get Real!

Trad-To-The-Bone™ !!! Standup shorts, rugby shirt, balaclava, one-inch tubular slings, hip belay. Attitude, check.
Our PosterChild, supertopo's own Reilly:

rottingjohnny

Sport climber
mammoth lakes ca
Apr 8, 2013 - 03:44pm PT
Check and noted..
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 8, 2013 - 03:46pm PT
Thank you,
Discuss, revise, argue, and appease at will.
I will edit as deemed appropriate, or better: inappropriate!
philo

Trad climber
Is that light the end of the tunnel or a train?
Apr 8, 2013 - 03:49pm PT
photo not found
Missing photo ID#297956
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Apr 8, 2013 - 03:49pm PT
To the Disposition category might I suggest 'unrepentant'?
Norwegian

Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
Apr 8, 2013 - 03:54pm PT
logging naked.
bangin chicks without rubbers.
hiking talus for a barefoot mile.
quitting your job without warning, preparation, or a plan.
crack climbing, yo.
propagating your cause under the influence.
living simply in an excessive society.
hand-hewing timbers.
taking wool from a sheep, spinning it, and then knitting your own sweater...

on and on i can't go.
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 8, 2013 - 04:09pm PT
Well done Weeg.
Thank you Reilly. Noted, slated!
JEleazarian

Trad climber
Fresno CA
Apr 8, 2013 - 04:12pm PT
How could you leave out RR's in the footwear?

And I feel excluded, because my grandmothers died before I was born. Isn't my mother enough?

John
locker

Social climber
Some Rehab in Bolivia
Apr 8, 2013 - 04:12pm PT


"Trad" = Traditional


My "Traditional" method of climbing is to get to the top any fuking way I feel like it...


So I am a "TRAD" climber extraordinaire!!!...





EDITED:

Remind me...

WHO wrote the "RULES" again???...

moosedrool

Trad climber
lost, far away from Poland
Apr 8, 2013 - 04:15pm PT
Interesting...

Just taking notes.
Vitaliy M.

Mountain climber
San Francisco
Apr 8, 2013 - 04:18pm PT
"Seasonal Girlfriend"
Marlow

Sport climber
OSLO
Apr 8, 2013 - 04:24pm PT
Loan me a dime?
Fundraising?
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 8, 2013 - 04:24pm PT
Blue Meanies = RRs
lockeR, you just wrote the rules dude! Trad climber is his own master; albeit he is a "slave to the rhythm".
Yes, seasonal girlfriend. Thank you.

I can't do this alone kids.
What the hell do I know?
moosedrool

Trad climber
lost, far away from Poland
Apr 8, 2013 - 04:27pm PT
TRaid

my favorite way
rgold

Trad climber
Poughkeepsie, NY
Apr 8, 2013 - 04:28pm PT
Trad climbers think

1. A drop knee is something that occurs when your knee replacement goes bad.

2. Flagging is what happens to you on every approach.

3. Deadpoints are the arguments made by sport climbers.

4. A high ball problem is a testicular condition induced by cold weather.

5. A knee bar is a thing you have to wear to keep your leg from buckling.

6. A dynamic move is...a move.

7. A static move is...a failure to move.

8. Chains are something used to lock up your bicycle.
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 8, 2013 - 04:29pm PT
Sorry Marlow, fundraising is so postmodern trad.
"Loan me a dime" see: itinerant mooch
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 8, 2013 - 04:33pm PT
RGold.
Like!
What do you say we call those "precepts"?
moosedrool

Trad climber
lost, far away from Poland
Apr 8, 2013 - 04:36pm PT
A ledge
photo not found
Missing photo ID#297959
Tarbuster

climber
right here, right now
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 8, 2013 - 04:41pm PT
Moosy: that's too funny. Over the last couple years I've been in a wheelchair and been put on oxygen concentrator. Happily, both stints were brief!

Roll it out kids ...
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