Stonemaster Stories, IX – The Eternal brotherhood

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Dimes

Social climber
Joshua Tree
Apr 7, 2006 - 04:29pm PT
Hey Bolton, I was thinking about building a sand castle with windows in it that you can roll up. Any thoughts?
rmuir

Social climber
the Time Before the Rocks Cooled.
Apr 7, 2006 - 04:30pm PT
"it goes without saying, i suppose, that i'm winning."

bvb's having one of those flashbacks that they promised would happen! Sweet dreams, Bob.
Dimes

Social climber
Joshua Tree
Apr 7, 2006 - 04:39pm PT
So, in regards to all the sand at Rubidoux you might ask, where did it all come from? One needs only to look down into the nearby river bottom to discern the motivational reason. It was a constant reminder that many of lifes secrets can be found in a mere grain of sand or in many grains bonded together to form a small scathing dime edge capable of cutting flesh, shoe rubber or a mans ego.
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Apr 7, 2006 - 05:00pm PT
mom, is that you??
Jaybro

Social climber
The West
Apr 7, 2006 - 05:16pm PT
"bvb's having one of those flashbacks that they promised would happen!"

Some people have alll the luck.

"They must be really out there to leave their door unlocked like that."
rbolton

Social climber
The home for...
Apr 7, 2006 - 05:25pm PT
Dear Moaner (Dimes)

I know you and and that other stringy piece of meat (Hensel) want me to out the story of one of the most hideously brutal bagging sessions to ever have been survived by a human being. Being dragged from "the muzzle loader" to "the Hug-me" to "roll up the window" to "10b on the outside" to "tail gunner" to...Jeesus. Thirty years of therapy have got me back on solid food again and not crapping my pants nearly as much. And you want me to go through all that again? You're a mean, cruel, little man Kevin. I will have my revenge.

P.S.
Dougie Reed is right, Kevin.
You DO have a purdy mouth.


G_Gnome

Social climber
Tendonitis City
Apr 7, 2006 - 05:26pm PT
Bolton named the place 'the sick midgets wall' just because he is too tall to do the problems there. And the fact that he can't hang on to even the biggest holds might have been something to do with it. I hope he is training for the new year though cause worse problems are gonna be exposed this year, I've been training hard.


On an entirely different topic.

Is there gonna be a massive bouldering session next Saturday before the mind enhancing substances come out later in the day?
Dave Tapes

Trad climber
Silverado CA
Apr 7, 2006 - 06:18pm PT
Speaking of the 84 contest or even any other like Santee. Does any one have the results and could you post them here? I seem to remember placing way better than I should have given the number of stone master sand baggers in attendence. That was a really fun time. DW
looking sketchy there...

Social climber
Latitute 33
Apr 7, 2006 - 06:44pm PT
Wonderly, you must be joking. I imagine that even few if any of the T-Shirts from the contests have survived outside a landfill or rag bin. Good old Bruce P. (Kinaloa) made some spiffy designs.

After waiting a respectable time to see if any lawsuits were filed claiming injuries -- to body, psyche, or ego -- I tossed the paper stuff (waivers, etc.) out. We are talking ages ago.

You could try Raker. We set his new-fangled "portable computer" up in the upper parking lot using a rented generator to power the rig. Results were pronounced in record time. Even if the human eating machine still has the data, good luck finding a computer today that runs the program.

Any pack rats out there (Robs?) keep any of this stuff?
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Apr 7, 2006 - 07:05pm PT
shorttimer -- me and the tarbuster have been talking about a "classics" tour on saturday. warm up at the family boulders then on to the hard stuff. heh. it'd be fun to get a crew together -- maybe KP would refresh our memories for the sequence to "once upon a dime..."

rmuir

Social climber
the Time Before the Rocks Cooled.
Apr 7, 2006 - 08:43pm PT
ShortTimer said, "I've been training hard" and "mind enhancing substances come out later in the day?"

Now we all know that you're really an OldTimer merely posing as a ShortTimer. Don't think, for a minute, that you're putting one over on the the adoring throngs of your fans. So after all this time, we'd have though you'd have copied from the Best of the 'Baggers™. Seriously...
1) Never, EVER admit to training! When you fail, you'll have no fall-back excuse. And it's been proven time and again that the most honed can reach the highest heights only after extensive couch time or, at least, daily laps on the Barkalounger--and never under the supervision of a professional trainer. Relaxed and rested is the key. (NEVER believe the addled fantasies of those aged Stonemasters; these guys are sandbaggers par excellance. THEY never trained. Gold's Gym never worked. Off the couch is your only ticket to the game!)
2) You got the order bass ackward, and got the priorities all wrong. And getting this fundamental thing right, again, is the key to reaching the highest heights.

and

Dear Mr. Vogel, LLP.
It has been brought to my attention that a one Mr. "looking sketchy there..." has besmirched my good name by publicly referring to me as a "pack rat". My reputation is at stake here. I pay you that exorbitant monthly retainer to protect me from such slander. As my 300-pound Samoan lawyer, I demand that you sue this bastard, immediately.
Not only do I not have any of the results in question, I want my day in court to set the record straight. The only thing I have left is that pitiful map and rating sheet; and I have witnesses to prove it. As you may recall, I did attend the so-called Rubidoux contest in question. But the dis-organizers banned me from competing that day which violated my fifth amendment rights, I believe. Can I still file a lawsuit claiming injuries? Statute of limitations? Please advise.
henny

Social climber
The Past
Apr 7, 2006 - 09:04pm PT
Muir, I think we (you, Powell, and myself) all need to get together and have Mr. Vogel the attorney file a class action suit (or however that works - Vogel please DON'T clarify) since all three of us were excluded from the contest by said Mr. "looking sketchy there...". Maybe he had different reasons for excluding each of us but the bottom line was still the same for each of us. We were all denied our right to the pursuit of the wealth and fame that winning said bouldering contest could have brought us had we been able to enter, and subsequently win. Yeah, our rights was violated, for sure. We oughta be able to get hugh amounts of $fins$ from Mr. "looking sketchy there..." as I hear that he is actually quite a wealthy person.

Hey, maybe you could continue retaining him in your behalf for above stated suit while concurrently joining the class action. That way you could rake double fins from the damn discriminator.
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Apr 7, 2006 - 09:07pm PT
i've been drinking whisky and watching t.v. all winter. it'll be a f*#king miracle if i can pull V2.

but i'm game....i'll give it the old college try. should we assign a point system to individual problems and play for 10 bucks a point? just a suggestion...
henny

Social climber
The Past
Apr 7, 2006 - 09:13pm PT
ummmm, do you actually have any money, bvb?
rmuir

Social climber
the Time Before the Rocks Cooled.
Apr 7, 2006 - 09:17pm PT
THAT'S the spirit, bvb!

Really!? Quite a wealthy person?? Good. I want his car and house. We can divide the rest among the other claimants in the class action. K?
henny

Social climber
The Past
Apr 7, 2006 - 09:21pm PT
I'm gonna be a wealthy man!!!! I'm about to hit the double mother lode. Once with Mr. "looking sketchy there..." and once with bvb. My lucky day indeed!
G_Gnome

Social climber
Tendonitis City
Apr 7, 2006 - 11:53pm PT
Someone either spent too much time keeping records, or is really good at picking dates out of the hat. Which one?
todd-gordon

climber
Apr 8, 2006 - 01:44am PT
You have to wonder,... is THIS route poaching(Poodle Smashers, etc.) a malicious , thought -out, planned thing done purposely to hurt someone else.....or just irresponsibile "teenager-types" with the inability to "wait" for everyone to get together for a project...?????..just over zealous, overanxious, ants-in-the-pants, uncontrolable hyperactivity????.......I believe it is the latter......(And with SOOOOOO many new routes..... just another pebble on the beach, or pissing in the ocean?????)
bvb

Social climber
flagstaff arizona
Apr 8, 2006 - 04:38am PT
american legend, beotches.
Rick A

climber
Boulder, Colorado
Apr 8, 2006 - 11:46am PT
Gramicci’s portrait of Tobin, with his characteristic bowl haircut, and the mention of Tobin’s desire to go to the Himalalya, got me thinking of how the CIA spoiled a trip Tobin and I were planning to the Garhwal Himalaya, when it was first opened to climbing in 1978. I am not making this up.

When Tobin got back from Europe in January of 78, he asked me if I wanted to go climbing in the Himalayas. I was deep in my first year of law school and couldn’t commit to the planning and organizational effort, but Tobin insisted and said he would handle all of it; he even offered to raise money for my airfare. I couldn’t turn this down, so I joined a proposed expedition of four organized by John Thackray from New York and including English climber Pete Thexton. The goal was Thalay Sagar, a striking, 22,000 foot mountain in the Garhwal Himalaya. The peak had never been climbed at all, but the expedition was aiming for the spectacular north face.

Mike, you will remember Pete Thexton from the summer of ‘76 in Chamonix. He and his friend Howard gave you and I a lift in his Morris Minor to the Calanques, to escape a bad spell of weather in Chamonix. Pete later died on K2. But I digress.

A couple of months before the group was to leave, the expedition permit from the Indian government was revoked. The Indian government had just discovered that a climbing expedition from the US in the sixties, with secret sponsorship of the CIA, had planted a monitoring device on an Indian peak in order to spy on Chinese nuclear tests. The tale of that spy expedition has been recounted in Outside Magazine. In retaliation for this insult to Indian sovereignty, all permits to the region were revoked that year.

Thackray applied again to climb the peak the next year and he, Roy Kligfield, Jon Waterman, and Pete Thexton made the first ascent of Thalay Sagar in 1979 via the western face. In about 1997, Jay Smith (an early Stonemaster who cut his teeth at Tahquitz while attending Desert Sun School in Idylwild before becoming a renowned alpinist) along with Kitty Calhoun and Chris Noble, attempted the north face of Thalay Sagar and got within 750 feet from the summit.

That’s the story of how Tobin would have gone to the Himalaya, but for a cold war era, CIA plot.
Messages 41 - 60 of total 100 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
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