Search
Go

Discussion Topic

Return to Forum List
Post a Reply
Messages 61 - 80 of total 89 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Jul 2, 2012 - 09:38pm PT
hey there say, feralfea!!! i am so happy you got it and it was not broken!
wished i could do it in oil, but i wanted it to 'hug' you, after all the immediate comfort of friends passes by, and life resumes onward, after your celebration (so i did it in fast-dry acrylic)...


:)

yes, you may share, you never know when someone may need a free gift of their own, too, someday...

i did not know that they did not have a picture of doug there, :)
it seems the good lord knew it was needed, and ol' doug
needs to 'look out over the place' like he used to, :)


oh my, as being on the same trail as your friend as to worldly things, nope i am just me... :))


simple, down to earth, lover of the good lord, and family and critter life, :))


good to know you got home safe--many folks have many hard chores to take
care of when their beloved family or partners die:
traveling safe, should be a gift to them, and returning back home, as well...


god bless...
:)

feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Jul 2, 2012 - 10:09pm PT

LOL
Doug collected frames at the "mall" (local recycling pad in Fairbanks. Don't know if you knew him personally. Did you!? You can answer that via email if you want.) and we have a bunch in the shed at HQ. I will do it up proud. :) Thank you!

There are some other photos of Doug around; a couple of him on climbs; but this is the first portrait. It is very special. And from someone on Topo, too.

I liked what you said about yourself, by the way. Doug and I were making a huge transition from having any political awareness at all to being more fully focused on being from spirit, and now I continue that journey each day.

And while the geographic journey home was delayed by a week or so, the lessons learned while stranded were more than worth the wait. All I can say is, Doug and G*d are conspiring to see that I get some great spiritual lessons out of this time, while I bushwhack my way through the wilderness of grief. There are beginning to be times of calm and peace again, though, so in all ways, I am deeply blessed.
As are we all. :)
{{{hugs}}}
Blessings!
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Jul 2, 2012 - 10:20pm PT
hey there say, feralfea! what a wonderful post! and how funny, too, as to the FRAMES, :))


say, yes, daily lessons! ... you are certainly on a new trail,
this 'trip home' was your 'first step', :)

i know you will be able to tackle this, too! :)

i only knew doug here, on the supertopo...
i had a soft spot in my heart for him... and used to pray for him, a lot...

(i learned more about him, from his webpage--and his stories)...
and his museum page... and the pictures of him, filled it all out...

welllll--got to go paint, i got some things to finish, the finish line
is always the hardest part, :)) well, not crossing it, but rounding that bend, :)

couchmaster

climber
pdx
Jul 2, 2012 - 10:50pm PT
What a great thank you to Neebee feralfae. I too knew Doug only from Supertopo, but the more I bumped into him here the more I liked the guys spirit. Sorry I never met him in person. The world could use more folks like him, not less.

I wish you well.

Warm Regards
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Jul 3, 2012 - 04:16pm PT
Here's the portrait Neebee did ...
Portrait of Doug by neebee
Portrait of Doug by neebee
Credit: feralfae
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Dec 27, 2012 - 02:15pm PT
Dear Neebee and everyone here, all you family of climbers and rock hoppers,
Neebee! Thank you for the lovely little covering, which I think I will hang on the wall in the guest room here in our home in Montana.
What a beautiful gift, and thank you to everyone for the wonderful and comforting notes. It helped so very much to feel the love and comfort of other climbers and adventurers, so thank you and {{{hugs}}} back to you.
I made it through my first Christmas without Doug, and with lots of help and emotional support from family and friends, I did really okay. We spent the day talking about Doug, remembering fun times, and sharing memories.

Thank you so much neebee and everyone for the kindness and love this holiday season.

**
feralfae.com
~toward entelechy
ilo²
iloilojones.com

ps: for those of you who want to reach me directly, just add ilo@ in front of the web site right above here, and I'll get it. If you put climber in the subject line, I will definitely open your emails. Thank you again for all the loving and kind notes, and thank you Neebee for collecting and sending them along with the card.
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Dec 27, 2012 - 05:12pm PT
hey there say, lloilo feral fea!

yep--you are not forgotten!!!

we are in your corner!
love so much!!!
and may the new year be just as tender and kind!
:)
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Jan 3, 2013 - 10:04am PT
Thank you everyone for the get well wishes and the great notes and cards! Neebee, I know you were the brains behind this, so special thanks to you for everything. Yes, it was emergency spine surgery of a highly amusing nature.
Since many of you asked, here's the short version of the story...

Careening along the frozen expanse of the Johansen Expressway in Fairbanks, returning to HQ from last-minute shopping prior to Christmas, the rental car I was driving was struck in the driver's door by a pickup. I was the driver on the inside of the collapsed metal. After the side airbag exploded and knocked me out, and I came to, I realized that I could not move anything except my head. December 2008.

Soon, lights and noise surrounded me, as paramedics and fire people figured out how to pry off the driver's door, slip a board under my body, and slowly inch my frame on to the board, while stabilizing my head. Of course it was -23F, so we did not need to worry about conserving the A/C in any of the vehicles. Our Godson Jason, up from Montana, was in the vehicle with me, but I heroically managed to absorb most of the shock of the impact, so he was unscathed in the collision. But terribly shaken, as he held on to me while I was out and after when I went into convulsions from the airbag blow.

Doug met us at Fairbanks Memorial, where x-rays revealed that I had not broken my neck, but that I had a bit of damage to the lower spine. I was instructed to have it checked out when I got back to Montana. The rental vehicle was entirely wrecked, and was given a decent retirement to the scrap yard. I was given a brace to reduce the pain in my cracked ribs. We scrambled into the trusty Jeep and headed home to HQ.

We had a grand and glorious big bottle party, followed by more glorious parties around the neighborhood. My rib wrap was working to hold things together. I showed the Ice Tower show for everyone.

Later in December, after a delicious dinner with our friends the Foots (Feets) Doug and I went home to HQ, climbed into our bed, and snuggled up for a nice rest. A few hours later, Doug woke up in severe pain, and a few hours after that, he was at Fairbanks Memorial Hospital, where he had emergency surgery and the diagnosis of cancer.

I put Jason on a plane home a few days later, and settled in to care for Doug, completely setting aside the "go see your spine doc when you get home" message, because here we had lots worse and immediate stuff to consider.

Fast forward through three years of chemo, doctors, surgeries, special diets, more surgeries, more chemo, lots of hope and desperation there at the last, and Doug writing out detailed instructions, leaving lots of notes, and then managing to escape his body that was no longer functioning. I held him in my arms as he left.

By that time, I was wearing a back brace full time, taking lots of pain medications, and still able to carry on. I made it through the Fairbanks Celebration in May, and was able to hang on for a couple of significant meetings arranged earlier by Doug. I headed home to Montana, driving down the AlCan, where the flooding and washed out roads impeded progress.

In WhItehorse, by now barely able to walk from the pain, I was rescued by a sister climber, who got me back to Fairbanks and on to a flight for Montana.

Arriving home, I remarked to a friend that I could finally collapse and rest. I was eating pain pills with remarkable appetite. Two weeks later, after an emergency room diagnosis of coda equina, I am rushed to emergency spine surgery, from which I am recovering with remarkable success. I plan to be back in the mountains before too long. I had a super spine surgeon, who is a runner and sometimes climber, and the best physical therapy team in the business—all people who live here so they can play in the mountains.

That's it. That's it. The whole story. I'll be in Fairbanks in the spring or early summer, as soon as these PT guys release me to go play and carry stuff. I have a design for helium balloons for carrying my pack into Rainbow. So, I'll be sure to post here before I head up to Fairbanks. For those of you in Wyoming, I will be down in the Winds later as well, hanging on the North Fork with occasional trips in to Lander. If you are in the area, let me know. You can reach me at ilo(AT)iloilojones(dot)com, just put Wyoming or Winds in the subject line.

So, okay, that's the story and update. Other news and links are available through MeansOfInquiry(dot)org, where I will post occasionally, or on the related sites you can find through that one.

Thank you all very much for your kindness, concern, and great notes. I am still sorting stuff here, and have a lot of Doug's stories that he never got uploaded, which I hope to get entered into the sites in the next few years as things settle into a new path and a new life. Thank you all very much for your love, caring, and wonderful fellowship.
Carry on.
feralfae, aka iloilo
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Jan 3, 2013 - 02:32pm PT
hey there say, feralfae... WOW, man oh man, WHAT an adventure these last years have been since that acccident, :O


WELCOME!!! YOU NOW have your own thread, as well as this one...

two--as, doug is still PART OF US here... :)

just made it TWICE as easy for the NEW FOLKS here, to learn
who you are, :)


here is a cross link:

http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=2033174&msg=2033174#msg2033174

thank you so much for sharing your rugged ol' trail, these last few years, you are conquering one step at a time, with
great friendships to back you up!!!

a good legacy, too, as to the love, friendship and join-trails that you and doug had!!!

may this year be extra special, as it is your first one, without doug, and
may it be a good solid rock to build on, by god's loving grace!
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Feb 17, 2013 - 07:43pm PT
Hey, Ian,
Thank you for posting that story to the thread earlier.
Nice.
Thank you all, wonderful ones, for the emotional support, loving kindness, caring, and cheering on this last year.
I hope to get all the issues of the Alaskan Alpine Club Newsletter scanned and up on the web site soon.
And more stuff as well.
I hope to start later this New Year. Just now getting more up and about and doing things besides PT every day a few times. Slowly catching up, coming out of the grief fog, starting to see some blue sky through the clouds. :) Yesterday, I went out and flung flower seeds all over the place, and we have 7 acres here in our little wood. Forest fairies, you know. Here just off the Divide.

I am coming back. I am turning the seasons. It is almost Spring. I am remembering great springs together, and many happy times. :) Honeymoon road trip in the MGB, Doug meeting all my rock art friends. Greeting spring in the arrow-leaf blossoms of the Winds, having a picnic with a long-time Winds climber friend. Springs of planting our garden, flinging flower seeds with blessings for Earth. Filling the quarters of the Kiva garden/prayer circle with wildflower seeds. :)

Soon, Spring. Flowers. I will be heading North.

Hoping to get to meet some of you some day when we have a SuperEvent up at AACHQ in Fairbanks, and this is your first notice of future fund-raising auctions and events, on behalf of AACHQ, and of course there will be the Waterman Memorial Auctions :) But we will need to find some volunteers to undertake the ahem, adventure. As Carl said, "I'm out." :)

Best to everyone, so glad to be in a better frame of mind as I post this, but would not trade a minute of this last year of grieving for all the incredible bliss Doug and I shared on that last adventure. :)

We Carry On,

*<twinkles>*
feralfae
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Feb 17, 2013 - 08:32pm PT
Hey neebee,
Thank you for all the prayers, grace, loving cards, great gifts, superb faith, and ahem, fairy dust.

neebee, ** is fairy dust, my own name for prayers. :) Same Sponsor, of course. I occasionally call Her Birdwoman. Long story. :)

I think I get to give a word from our Sponsor, so be informed prior to this screed that Doug and I talked a lot about this concept:

As Doug said, grinning, not long before he took off, "Hey, there really is a Headmaster!" Which is our own term for G*d, and we can shorten it to HM, or, hhmmmmmmm, so anytime we saw another Angel, we could hum to each other and laugh inside. :) It was very fun.

I have been surrounded by Angels this past year, because I certainly did not have the strength, faith, hope, or constancy to hold myself up. You guys did it. My Angels. (My prime paradigm for its application to helium balloons, by the way.)

If one has access to this incredible, huge raft of helium balloons, one can lift anything with this substance lighter than air. How cool is that!? Now, try gathering this huge raft of Angels. Way cooler. I intentionally surrounded myself with loving, caring, supportive and compassionate people on advice from Doug. I cut out as much stress as possible all the time.

I will never forget this lesson. I am walking and doing strengthening exercises. I can balance across the logs. I am going to be just fine. A little energy from each of you, and I am quite the miracle of recovery. I think there is a champagne party required soon. I will work on logistics. :)

We are the prisms of Love.
We knew that. :)
And we have free will to chose where we shine our light. :) The more we align with our Source, the more Love we can radiate. How cool is that.

You know, it was Doug who got me back up, balancing on ledges and scrambling scree again after my last fall, when only bones were broken. I remember saying, when he finally lured me up on this ledge of a precarious pitch, "Oh, Doug, this feels like where I fell." and Doug said "This is where you don't fall, instead." He's really a good leader.

This time, it was a broken heart, and that is taking a while to mend, but I think I have reached the tipping point. Cool.
Thank you all for your energy.
Thank you for sending love this way, which is why I am Here.
Truly. If I could not recover, I was not staying, because I like these amazing games too much. I would have recycled.
And I do not do martyr well, anyway, as I am too much of a warrior. :) Too feisty.*
End of message to and from Sponsor, I guess. :)
Oh:
Thou Art God. Remarkably. :)
Thanks a lot for your help.
Truly appreciated.
Could not have done it without you.
True statement. My words hold their meaning. **

**
feralfae
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Feb 17, 2013 - 08:38pm PT
Yooooo Photon Flingers,

I gotta provide an emendation:

when you see **, it is because this format does not read
* < twinkles > * correctly unless I put in extra spaces.
This is an experiment.
It might fail.
Hold on to your seat cushions, just in case.
The Universe may disappear.
(Would that it worked on government bureaucracy)

* < Twinkles > *
feralfae
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Feb 17, 2013 - 08:41pm PT
hey there say, feralfea... so much, these hard trails...
it is love and frienships, and crerished memories, that feed us well--with gods' great grace--to hug the trail and move onward...


this is soooo wonderful, and so sweet:
your quote:
You know, it was Doug who got me back up, balancing on ledges and scrambling scree again after my last fall, when only bones were broken. I remember saying, when he finally lured me up on this ledge of a precarious pitch, "Oh, Doug, this feels like where I fell." and Doug said "This is where you don't fall, instead." He was really a good leader


i am always still praying... >:D<


if and when you have your champainge party... i have a gift for the alpine club... will be done, in march or april...


a way for doug's ol' footprint to stay ever fresh there, ;)
you will see, :)


i knew your feb. memories would here soon...
hugs and god bless to you... you will make it through, as i said,
god's grace:

and--that leader of yours--doug...
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Feb 17, 2013 - 08:47pm PT
hey there, say, feralfae...

oh my....

as to your quote:
Slowly catching up, coming out of the grief fog, starting to see some blue sky through the clouds. :) Yesterday, I went out and flung flower seeds all over the place, and we have 7 acres here in our little wood. Forest fairies, you know. Here just off the Divide.


may your seeds grow among these cherished memories, in new and special ways!...


god bless...
i had a good happy cry, for your...

you're 'on trail' now... a new one, in one way, but still the same one--with god's grace, it is and will be 'tailor made' for you...

:)
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Feb 17, 2013 - 09:29pm PT
Neebee, **,
Yes, I think all our trips are "tailor made" or, bespoke. We get to be brave, or not. We get to receive Grace, or not. We get to feel the healing power of Love, or not. There are some great Guidebooks, but humans seem to have trouble with understanding the words. I need to get this communication working better. Oh, wait, I have the internet. It is beginning to work better. I think the Reformation is here. Only, not Gutenberg, but Google.

I just don't understand why a lot of things happen usually, except in hindsight. But looking back on the trail, I can begin to see where I am going. Doug and I talked a lot about choosing our learning adventures. I miss sharing with him more than I can write about yet.

Funny, I was placing marker stones and doing some survey work today. It takes perspective, doesn't it? The only way I could see the continuation of the line was to check back along its path. Not that I can't make huge changes in my life, but at least I have a sense of direction to assist me.
I'm here, so I go on.

Thank you so much for your kindness and prayers.

I have already met you, but hope to see you sometime, too.
We carry on.
feralfae
couchmaster

climber
pdx
Feb 17, 2013 - 10:29pm PT
feralfae, glad we all could send some positive energy your way. I always appreciated Doug popping in here on occasion and adding the odd word of wisdom or 2.

Warm regards to you ma'am and hang in there. xo
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Feb 17, 2013 - 10:55pm PT
Thank you couchmaster.
I appreciate the energy very, very much.
See you around.
* < twinkles > *
feralfae
donini

Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
Feb 17, 2013 - 11:00pm PT
When it came to the politics of climbing Doug and i were on the opposite sides of the spectrum. Given that, i will say that i very much respected his passion and personal integrity. He had his beliefs and stood up for them with clarity and enthusiasim......as good an epitaph as one could have.
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Apr 12, 2013 - 06:16pm PT
In Honor of my Most Worthy Husband, Doug Buchanan, who, with me, set up Means Of Inquiry Foundation. We liked to ask effective questions, and people noticed and appreciated our efforts. They felt honored to be sent one of Doug's pens as a thank you gift. One chap wrote a later letter to me, since he knew I write archaically a lot of the time, with a fountain pen, and he enclosed a check for enough to keep me in ink for as long as I can figure out how to leave it to my next incarnations. :)

We took the prize money we were awarded for our writings and we decided that since we live very simply, we would use the awards for furthering the works of voluntary, free market (preferably Common Law) institutions. And thus it is so.

Means of Inquiry has made contributions to three charities, all of which we discussed prior to Doug's leaving. It feels very, very good to carry on our work. The game is still on, fellow adventurers.

STOP!

Okay, now that I have your attention, try to negotiate to exchange value for productivity, rather than hours, with your employer in every instance that is possible. If your body is required somewhere, you could use the time you have left after your meet your productivity to learn something that makes your heart sing. Become more of a free agent. Own yourself.

If you are doing what you love, then you are already getting paid far too much, and are amazed someone would pay you to do this stuff. It always amazes me, and of course the other rule is that if it makes your spirit sing, you are most probably not being paid in stolen goods (taxation is theft). You know how crabby those bureaucrats are! And what sourpusses those park service guys can be. They Shoot at people and stuff! Yikes!

And when you are qualified, you can join the BrotherhoodofAnarchy.com, which I own but do not have the site up yet, until I finish going through all of our notes we made about it.

So I guess we could start a thread somewhere about it ...


Oh, don't worry just because I don't rant as Doug could do. (I broke of him of that habit by kissing him every time he began. Thoroughly distracting, he told me later, with a big grin on his face.) I share his values.

I don't think you get to share spirits and minds and hearts this much unless your values are pretty well aligned. Remember the Donne poem, after all. :)

So, anyway, the adventure continues. I gotta go contemplate dragonflies. :)

And I am getting the vehicle ready for the AlCan. My target date is sort of our anniversary and Doug's birthday on 19 May, either to take off from Montana, or to arrive in Fairbanks. We will see how it all works out. I cannot see that far ahead yet. Actually, I cannot see tomorrow yet, but I have a few plans for that time when it arrives. :)

Hey, go live fully in your beautiful spirit and do something that cannot be confused for anything but love. Throw the sky some kisses. Toss a few to Mother Earth as well. Compliment a stranger.

Back to the dragonflies.
* < twinkles > *
feralfae
feralfae

Boulder climber
Montana
Aug 6, 2013 - 12:55pm PT
Here are the URLs for the narrated videos on You Tube:

Gakona
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M3nNR6UKho

Mount Moffit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SA2zFXtBBI

The Thorn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yhtti9CfssE

8680
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdbtgDsKvac

Please share these around. The Ice Show will be posted to our You Tube account soon.


Peace this day.
**
feralfae
Messages 61 - 80 of total 89 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
Return to Forum List
Post a Reply
 
Our Guidebooks
Check 'em out!
SuperTopo Guidebooks


Try a free sample topo!

 
SuperTopo on the Web

Review Categories
Recent Trip Report and Articles
Recent Route Beta
Recent Gear Reviews