Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
Bullwinkle
Boulder climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Original Post - Sep 14, 2011 - 06:15pm PT
|
The 1st of Febuary was just another Beautiful Day in Joshua Tree. I had moved down there from the Valley to spend another Winter in one of my favorite places. I needed to be close to L.A. while I worked on another Book with JL so I got a place in Town and quickly settled in.
My first Roped and Unroped Climbs were done here 40years ago, I love to Boulder and Solo, I've always felt safe and in control in the Desert and this seaon was shaping up to be a good one. I'd been working out quite a bit and felt strong and confindent, the easy stuff just seemed sooo damn fun, so familiar, like an old Friend.
There was to many people around to Solo the Bomber HandCrack that I had intended, so I wandered off and found an easy Climb that I had Soloed twice before this season. I slipped on my Dancing Shoes and started off, a quick mantel and I was at the begining of the Crack. I felt Strong and present, grabbed a hand jam and worked my left foot into the crack.
I reached up for the next jam and realized that this is where the LieBack began, time for a quick dip into my chalkbag, f*#k I'm outta Chalk!! The voice in my head says DOWN CLIMB NOW!!! the voice between my legs says SACK UP!!!! I make another move and stuff my left foot into the crack, one more move and it's a Jug, I put my right foot on a big hold and begin to stand up like a StoneMaster.
SH#T!!! I'm FALLING, I push off with my left arm and look down at the Landing,(I'm Rocketing 20+ into a Rocky Gulley) BANG, i hit the deck and roll it off, I'm ALIVE. . .The Voice in my Head says don't move, This time I listen.
I'm laying still, my hands running up and down my body, checking for damage, my head, no blood, no pain, seems to be okay, my back, doesn't hurt, my legs, scraped but okay, my left foot, good to go, my right foot, sh#t, sh#t, sh#t. Okay, stay Calm, Focus, wiggle your toes, they work, try the Ankle, no go, f*#k me, Time to crawl home. . .
I make it back to my Cave and get on the Phone to Friends, they respond and stop by the Thrift Shop for Crutches, Samms for ice and ibuprofen. My mind (or whats left of it) is racing, no Health Ins and $100Us in the Bank, my Ankle is Swelling and turning Black&Blue. The Denial setts in faster than the Swelling, "dude it's just a bad Sprain, yes you probally have some torn Ligiments and Tendons, they'll heal up things will be okay" but things weren't okay and they still aren't.
I'm working on this Book, I'm about to start on a New Calendar in a couple of Months, so I stay off the Foot, I ice it, I rubb all kinds of good Herbs into it, I wrap it with a Brace, I eat ibuprofen like candy and after one week I can walk again, well it's more like a very painful limp. I wake up in a Cold Sweat at Night Shaking and telling myself It Will Okay, but it isn't. For the first time in my life I am truly deeply afraid.
Two months later it seems to be Healing, still walking with pain and can't even think about Climbing but I'm sure things are getting better. I begin a long roadtrip making StoneNudes, every step brings me pain, every Photo I make is a reminder of my personal agony, I drug myself into deeper denial and the fog rolls in. I finish the Calendar, now comes the wait for the money to come in, I promise myself that I'll see a Doctor asap when I have a coulpe of bucks for the XRays and office vists.
The money starts to come in, it's been over 6months since the Fall. I leave the Valley where I've been hiding out and go to my Mothers in Santa Cruz. The money is soon gone to XRays, Dr's vists, he doen't know whats wrong with my Ankle but the XRays "don't look right" they tell me to see a Specialist a very good Surgeon. At $300per visit the money is gone, but not before he tells me whats up with my Ankle. I broke a small piece of bone off at a Tendon attachment, he said it's like having a broken tooth rolling around in my Ankle.
"I can go in there and take out the chip, you'll be Climbing again in no time" He needs an MRI to see things better. I'm flat broke and beached at Moms. I apply for MediCal, denied, I try MediCruz, denied, I try again, denied, one last time, and lo and behold, as I truly have no money I'm Approved!!!!yes!!!
I make the appointment for the Dr to read my MRI, I'm so happy I almost (wish I could) run to his office. I'm going to be healed, I want to shout it out, I stuck it!!!yea baby. But no, no i didn't stick it, when he looks at the MRI I can see his face, it's not good, not at all. He turns to me, "I'm sorry but you have a Severe Case of Arthritis in the Ankle and it has degraded the Joint, it's quite comom with this injury, the best that I can do for you is to Fuse your Ankle, your Climbing years are over"
I limp home, I want to cry, but I don't, not now, the time for that is past. I have some hard choices to make and I will make them sober and present. I know a few Climbers with Fused Ankles, they Climb a lot harder than me, I will Climb/Dance again.
I've been watching T.V. quite a lot, saw the Repub Debates and was sickened by the crowds reaction to the Question of an uninsured man in a coma, should he be Left to Die? a cheer went up and I felt like throwing up. Nobody deserves that.
I guess what I want to say here is if you hurt yourself and do not have insurence, crawl to an ER and have them fix you, don't be afraid. Yes they will hound you for money for the rest of your life, but at least you'll have a life. And maybe, if you're lucky you'll have a sexy limp, like me. . .Be Safe my Friends and I hope to Solo past you soon, this time going up. . .df
|
|
klk
Trad climber
cali
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:24pm PT
|
grim story, good you had yr friends and family to give some support.
best of luck with the fusion
|
|
Fish Finder
Social climber
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:31pm PT
|
Men never want to go to the Doctor or Hospital until its sometimes to late.
Im sure we lost a few great ones to this stubbornness.
|
|
mooser
Trad climber
seattle
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:32pm PT
|
Here's to a quick recovery, Bullwinkle. Very sorry to hear about your injuries.
|
|
Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:38pm PT
|
Sooner is better...but I hope their prognostication is too conservative. I've been told I'll never run again - twice. Guess what, they don't always take into account the determination and active recovery factor. I'm betting on you.
|
|
Bullwinkle
Boulder climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 14, 2011 - 06:38pm PT
|
DMT,
I met you the Day you Broke your Ankle, you were siting in a Car in C4 wearing a very stoic face. I thought you had some sort of an Attitude as you didn't say a word to me when we were introduced. When I found out what the deal was I vowed never to Judge a Book by its Cover again, thanks for the kind words. . .df
|
|
flyingkiwi1
Trad climber
Seattle WA
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:39pm PT
|
Hey Dean,
So sorry to hear about your injury and its ongoing consequences. Wishing you the best of energy in moving foward on it and with it.
Ian
PS If you haven't already, you might want to find a way to check out topical ganga for dealing with joint stuff (no pun intended). I know it really works for getting more paddling (in terms of shoulder comfort) out of a surfing session.
|
|
Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:42pm PT
|
best wishes to you Bullwinkle on your recovery... hope to see you speeding past me on the rock again
but also your sentiments are spot on
I cannot imagine how this country got to the point where a crowd of people could express that sort of view, perhaps it's always been there and I haven't seen it... but my heart is sick to think that a part of the voting population would just want to leave that person to die.
Ironically, the same people who would so oppose health care in part because of their unfounded fear of a "death panel" organized themselves into one spontaneously during that debate.
|
|
micronut
Trad climber
fresno, ca
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:46pm PT
|
Glad to hear you're on the mend man. What a treasure to live to climb and breathe another day.
|
|
Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:52pm PT
|
I'm very sorry to read this, Dean.
Can you get a second opinion?
Best of luck however things work out.
If it helps, it is most likely in the case of an injury like yours the ER would just have casted it, given you some pain killers, and recommended that you see a specialist. At least that's the treatment I have had in similar circumstances.
Also, I have been told many times by doctors (most recently a brain surgeon) that my climbing days are over. F*ck that. I continue to love climbing and so will you. Drop me a line via the site email function when you're feeling up to it and we'll go do some easy routes together.
Kris
|
|
Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:54pm PT
|
best wishes dean.
though your physical beast ails,
your mind and spirit will teach it new life.
you'll remain a master of words and action.
the future is patient. kick it around again when
you get your foot good.
|
|
donini
Trad climber
Ouray, Colorado
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:57pm PT
|
Best to you Dean, a cautionary tale for all. We are about the only industrialized country without some kind of universal health care.
|
|
tolman_paul
Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 06:57pm PT
|
Sorry to hear about your injury.
Don't listen regarding not climbing. As a motivator to all of us, if Hugh can do it, you can do it.
|
|
couchmaster
climber
pdx
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 07:00pm PT
|
WOW! Thanks for sharing that. Glad you will be around with your fantastic artwork for many many years...hopefully!
|
|
Bullwinkle
Boulder climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Sep 14, 2011 - 07:00pm PT
|
Silver,
Damn!! yikes. . .I hope they can help your pain, you seem like a good person who doesn't deserve this.
I'm not on ANY painkillers at the present as I don't need that addiction and my level of pain is way lower then yours. I intend to get a second opinion as I do not want the Fusion unless there's no other choice.
Kris, see you in J.T. this season, let's Climb for sure. . .d
|
|
couchmaster
climber
pdx
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 07:13pm PT
|
BTW Dean, this isn't the "let me shove my bloated opinion on national healthcare" down everyone's throat but here goes anyway. I own a company and we fully pay for everyone's (kaiser) and I support the idea, but I believe it was a totally F*ed up process Obama allowed to occur. They tossed out a carcass and let all the lobbyists pick at the bones tweeking and changing parts here and there of that bill until I am imagining a national disaster about to happen when the trigger gets fully pulled.
WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE was to let a group of true experts look at other countries best practices and pitfalls, and designed a system for our country. Then congress could vote yes, or no. Like they did with the base closing commission. Not, "hey, let the big pharma that contributed to my campaign make these changes and then I'll vote yes". Once that got multiplied 250 times, it got ugly to the point that the amount of folks who bothered to read the final bill could most likely be counted on my fingers. It turned into a f*#ked up mess about to occur.
It's a national shame on several levels for many reasons. You should have had medical coverage, we all should, and it's a damned shame.
Wish you the best and good health again.
|
|
pud
climber
Sportbikeville & Yucca brevifolia
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 07:18pm PT
|
Hard luck. I second the 'second opinion' suggestion.
I've experienced some serious injuries over the years and Western medicine has been wrong about the prognosis' as often as right.
MD's are a lot like weathermen.
Eastern medicine has healed my injuries many times.
I hope you continue to look into alternative healing tecniques.
I think you'll be out enjoying whatever physical activities you want, sooner than later.
Best wishes for a speedy FULL recovery.
|
|
Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 07:25pm PT
|
Sorry to hear about this Dean. I didn't know. And sorry too to understand how tough it has been for you in other respects, jesus. Hoping for you!
|
|
Norton
Social climber
the Wastelands
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 07:27pm PT
|
Bullwinkle, it IS true that no one can be "denied" care if you show up at an emergency room, this is Federal law for many years now.
But, if you do not have health insurance then only "emergency" care will be given, and of course the hospital WILL go after you personally for the charges.
So, if you had gone to an emergency room say right away, then they are required to "save your life", and that's about it. They are not required to get you an MRI, not are they required to do any surgery, unless NOT doing the surgery could cause you to die.
However, the good news is that if your personal income is say under about $28K a year, verifiable of course, then you would qualify under Obama's new healthcare plan to receive a "voucher" worth about $80 a month to be applied to a minimum coverage healthcare policy. And depending on the wording of that policy, you could well have been covered for fixing you up right in the beginning.
You are exactly the category of person the new healthcare law is designed to help: those adults who cannot afford, but need coverage.
|
|
neversummer
Trad climber
30 mins. from suicide USA
|
|
|
Sep 14, 2011 - 07:39pm PT
|
Keep your head up...and this doesn't have to be the end to anything.
|
|
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!