Depresion - Not Something one can beat with will power alone


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Trad climber
Mill Valley, CA
Aug 2, 2010 - 05:34pm PT
Aug 2, 2010 - 02:31pm PT
There's so many resources needed to support a suicidal person. Please make a note of this toll free 24 hour number for someone you know who may be struggling. They might not use it but giving it will let them know you care that they live

1(800)273-8255 (TALK)

The user formerly known as stzzo

Social climber
Aug 11, 2010 - 10:52pm PT
It's a shock to my system to see this thread resurrected... Not that it's bad, just disturbing.

RIP, Juan.

Aug 11, 2010 - 11:03pm PT
Jeff's post on April 17th was telling. Something didn't work out by the time May 25th rolled around. So terribly sad that he felt compelled to end his life.

"I went and met my new physicist Fri afternoon. He told me I was being giving the wrong meds. He wants me back on a SSRI I have had so much help with in the past.

He wants to give me new meds to get my sleep under control.

Will maintain my Xanax until I can be weaned off it.

Whats to spend am hour a week doing cognitive therapy as I see a very distorted view of the world. I see a world of fear.

So I am feeling better." Juan

Trad climber
san diego
Aug 13, 2010 - 05:00am PT
Daphne- "Please make a note of this *TOLL FREE 24 HOUR NUMBER* for someone you know who may be struggling."


Thanks, Daphne!!

Jun 3, 2011 - 03:52pm PT

Been riding high on Wellbutrin for the last 2 1/2 weeks. The crash came hard last night. There is no free lunch.

Just trying to make it through today (and no, alcohol feels good but does not help...

More later.

Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
Jun 3, 2011 - 04:20pm PT
Sometimes it's darkest before you see the light.

What means the most to you in this life?

hanging from an ice pick and missing my mama.
Jun 3, 2011 - 04:55pm PT
Very depressing to see how the cycle formed before he took his own life. He really was a great guy...

It's ridicules to tear apart others as if people are indestructible. We are not. Words can kill and... They can save. Be careful what you say.

We need each other, we need to be there because it does count in a million ways.

Gym climber
Berkeley, CA
Jun 3, 2011 - 06:01pm PT
toadgas, I suspect depression is at least as common in the broader public as it is within the climbing community. One difference we might note is that people feel more comfortable sharing with "strangers" in this forum more readily than walking down the street or with someone you met 5 minutes ago climbing. So we actually become aware of the issue here, where we normally walk past it in our tangible life. How many people meet your eyes when you walk down the street? Mostly people are too busy or too afraid to see or be seen.

I think there is something therapeutic in these forums, something that makes it easier for some people to connect in a personally meaningful way more frequently than they are able to do in tangible life (either because of personal inhibitions, or work schedules, geographic isolation, or whatever). I think this is true for me at least.

+1 for what Anastasia said.

Social climber
Jun 3, 2011 - 08:31pm PT

You hit the nail on the head. The days I feel "good" are the ones that at the days end I am completely exhausted from activities out of doors. It isn't always aerobic or fast paced activities like running. Mainly tasks like splitting wood, moving dirt or any other energy depleting activity. Activities that are more aligned with work than pleasure. Leisure activities per se seem less fulfilling than stacking stones.

I don't get the endorphin rush as I do with something like a long run; more of a satisfied mind because I have earned my salt or something like that.


May your kindness seep through all the posts on this forum.

Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
Jun 3, 2011 - 08:34pm PT
Isn't it about the one year anniversary of Juan's death? Still think about him often.

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
Jun 9, 2011 - 05:39pm PT
John Moosie

Beautiful California
Jun 9, 2011 - 05:42pm PT
I'm ready.
Papillon Rendre

Social climber
Jun 13, 2011 - 11:05pm PT
My son's close friend hung himself last Friday.

Tyler was the happiest young man and he never showed any signs of depression or sadness. The entire sophomore class loved him.

He was an athlete, scholar and barely 16.

I googled teen suicide and was shocked to learn the percentage of teens who attempt suicide and the percentage who succeed.

Please keep your children safe.


hanging from an ice pick and missing my mama.
Jun 13, 2011 - 11:07pm PT
Life is stranger than fiction. Really is...
John Moosie

Beautiful California
Jun 13, 2011 - 11:23pm PT
I'm sorry about your sons friend. I hid my problems with depression all through High school. I was seen as a happy kid. Now.. Most days I'm surprised I'm still alive.

Trad climber
So Cal urban sprawl Hell
Jun 14, 2011 - 12:25am PT
what I'd like to know If a person is put on an SSRI and they go totally manic are they bipolar?
John Moosie

Beautiful California
Jun 14, 2011 - 12:55am PT
what I'd like to know If a person is put on an SSRI and they go totally manic are they bipolar?

WARNING.. what you are about to read is opinion. I am not a doctor. ( I know you know that, but some people freak out.. eek!!! )

There are studies that say SSRIs can cause mania.. Here is a page with a bunch of studies. I don't know how legit they are.

Scroll down a ways and look at the headings.

Here is just one of them..

By the way.. which SSRI? I have had SSRI induced mania.


Maybe one of the docs will chime in.

Social climber
Jun 14, 2011 - 12:59am PT
A long time ago I was prescribed Zoloft and left unsupervised and in retrospect I believe I was manic for a few months. I have never been diagnosed as bipolar just depressed. Recently I decided to stop taking psych meds altogether, replacing them with daily qigong practise, I've never felt better (touch wood).

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
Nov 15, 2012 - 11:59pm PT
I forget what I was searching for, but I came across this.

Trad climber
The Illuminati -- S.P.E.C.T.R.E. Division
Nov 16, 2012 - 12:05am PT
On April 1, 2010, Jeff Batten posted:

For the last month I have been trying to beat my depression with will power alone. This is not working, I cannot sleep, I grow more fatigued each day and start thinking dark thoughs.

I have family mememeber telling me to just snap out of it. I wish it was that easy.

Its like getting up a climb without the necessary strenght to do the moves.

I had to call in sick to work as I sleept 1 hour.

Whats the next step I need to take. New Doctor. Hospital.

I am starting to give up hope.

A little compassion and suggestions would be very nice.


On May 25, 2010 he was gone.

Public records show that our friend Jeff Batten has left us, on May 25th, 2010

He posted as Juan de fuca, prowsolo, the general, rockstar, lostarrow and other alias.

And he was the original internet troll on the subject of climbing, dating far back into the usenet board Rec.climbing, before the web had such communications.

For a long time, Jeff's posts were merely trolls, sometime appreciated, sometimes resented. But as time went on, Jeff opening up and shared more and more of himself with the online community. His scientific interests, his struggles with physical pain and depression, and his explorations into spirituality. He was our taco seismograph.

I choose to believe that Jeff is relieved from his struggles now, after facing them and exploring many ways of inner peace. I offer condolences for those who knew and will miss him. We will.

Perhaps we can post some of his classic trolls, cartoons featuring Jeff by Ouch (another fallen brother) and some of his other sharings.

Fly high Jeff, on your greatest adventure since soloing the Prow.


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