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Mike Bolte
Trad climber
Planet Earth
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from his crusty appearance you wouldn't know it
but jim donini is a poet
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(folks - I am way impressed. Nutjob, nice photos too)
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Buju
Trad climber
the range of light
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Yosemite Valley was quite nice this Sunday
The rain had held off so we went out to play
Serenity was nice, but Adrenaline was better
Then it started to rain, and the rock just got wetter
Now it is Monday and I’m back to work
Im in the office, so on the Taco I lurk…
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Melissa
Gym climber
berkeley, ca
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MH, I got the parody. That's why it was good.
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David Wilson
climber
CA
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we tried to proceed with boldness
across granite cracked and hold less
one day we surmised
under patagonian blue skies
would ensure success in the coldness
but the cracks were ice filled
and our progress was stilled
as we arrived at a ledge near the summit
night came along and our talk turned to song
stomping in place we waited for dawn
only then to have done it
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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We once journeyed forth to the Stronghold
Hoping that it wouldn't drop down and be too cold
We recruited a Jefe
Our fears to allay
but he led us astray
and made us do seven leads of 5.10 in a day.....
There once was a climber named Guido
Who should never be seen in a speedo
If his daughter gets married
And Joe isn't buried
Then he'll have to endure a tuxedo
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nutjob
Trad climber
Berkeley, CA
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Guido, speedo, tuxedo.... nice!
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L
climber
Hangin' by a thread and lookin' for my wings
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Ha Bruce! Fuuuuuuunnnnnnnnny!
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tarek
climber
berkeley
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 9, 2010 - 03:55pm PT
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the humor in many of these is terrific!
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tarek
climber
berkeley
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Topic Author's Reply - Mar 9, 2010 - 04:47pm PT
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We Climbed the Seven Summits
Off to Utah we three went
Driving all night not a dent
Our summits you see
Desert towers they be
All on just one continent
Tired on arrival we did cross
Into Colorado for some choss
Otto’s Route was the first
Tho by no means the worst
We just had to show who was boss
The mighty Lizard was the second
Then Ancient Arts did us beckon.
Our rope ends freely traded
3 summits down we celebrated
Some silliness we sure did take on
With Castleton and the Priest
We continued our feast
Some respectability thus gained
We nonetheless felt quite drained
And added the Owl as the least.
On our final day we got serious
And drove down to the imperious.
Primrose Dihedrals was number seven
And we indeed found seventh heaven
But the rappels made us quite delirious.
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steelmnkey
climber
Vision man...ya gotta have vision...
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The next day…
Dave and I tried once again,
To have an adventure in spite of the rain.
“Ain’t this supposed to be the desert?” he asked, looking out over the park,
“If this rain doesn’t stop, I’ll have to build an ark!”
“It’s gotta stop any time now, I honestly supposes”,
“In any case, you ain’t exactly Moses.”
When I got home, he was ready to go,
Some exercise was needed to chill out my bro.
“A mountain bike ride might be just the thing”,
“To stretch out the legs and make those muscles sing.”
So we loaded up the bikes, headed off down the street,
The rain was holding, we were feeling upbeat.
Onto the trail, over puddles and rocks,
Dave rides like a cat, me like an ox.
Out and around, and back to the start,
I damn near got creamed by a dude in a golf cart.
The trail went by, as did the miles,
By the time we were done, we were wall to wall smiles.
The ride behind us, the cleanup commenced,
It was surely time for some antioxidents.
Out came the glasses, in went the mixer,
Turns out Dave’s one helluva margarita fixer.
We followed the margs with a plateful of grub,
Then polished it off with a can of Old Chub.
the end.
The starting lineup...
The tequila seems to be evaporating... we started here...
...and now it's here.
Anyone drink this stuff? Pretty smooth!
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nutjob
Trad climber
Berkeley, CA
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Ha ha ha steelmonkey! nice one!
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justthemaid
climber
Jim Henson's Basement
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Cheating a little- I wrote this a couple of years ago and it's not precisely a TR...
Ode to Gym Rat Flunkies.
Oh you gym rat flunkies-
you flunkies I abhor.
You say you want to leave your gym.
It's padded walls are closing in.
To climb on nature's rock one day
would be so cool- oh Maid please say,
you'll take us out oh please oh please
and cure us of this gym disease.
Your excitement seems sincere
until it's time to buy some gear.
Or to commit to time or place
to feel the sun upon your face.
And then the ones who make the call
They show up late, or not at all.
Then the whining does ensue
Drive where?? Too hot, too dusty too.
Egads! The rock- it is so far.
They cannot even see their car.
To walk 10 minutes from the street
makes blisters on their widdle feet.
Yes there's a problem, one or two,
my teachings just can't make it through.
To penetrate these flunkie heads,
frustrates me to the point of dread.
I've totally abandoned hope
that you'll stop stepping on my rope.
You think top-rope is the bee's knees,
Lead? Not before all hell doth freeze!
Where's the tape? which way to go?
Your shiny webbing, is day-glow.
Begging, pleading and my rancor
won't pry you off that three-bolt anchor
Please oh please, our dark-haired maven
return us to our plastic haven.
Back to the loving, cool indoors
With colored holds and squishy floors.
Where gym rats go to romp and play
Outside?? Perhaps another day.
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hossjulia
Social climber
Eastside
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Mar 10, 2010 - 01:43am PT
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this is too good to go away just yet,
thanks! wow, am I mightily impressed.
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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Apr 16, 2019 - 02:25am PT
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A long reminiscence this night I've had,
of many adventures, none of them bad
Eighty-three trip reports, most pictures asunder
Will we look back and call this a blunder?
I am truly thankful for the kick in the pants
I've now captured the memories offline for perchance
the powers that be decide there's no ROI
and soon back to dust are these gleams in my eye
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