Sobriety (off topic or not)?

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johntp

Trad climber
socal
Jun 11, 2018 - 05:24pm PT
There's a meditation meeting very early morning just a few miles from my house.

There is a meditation meeting at a Buddhist Temple near where I live in Little Rock. Haven't been yet but hear good things. Gotta get myself to go as I appreciate the Buddhist philosophy.
mynameismud

climber
backseat
Jun 11, 2018 - 08:19pm PT
372 days.
johntp

Trad climber
socal
Jun 11, 2018 - 08:34pm PT
Yay mud!
johntp

Trad climber
socal
Jun 11, 2018 - 08:54pm PT
An alternative to the AA twelve step program is SMART Recovery. I'm not particularly spiritual and the AA philosophy did not resonate with me. There are similar ideas with SMART and the two are not mutually exclusive. One thing about SMART is their approach does not require one to concede they are powerless over their addiction. This philosophy teaches that one is indeed in control. One makes the conscious decision to take a drink or use. SMART is applicable to any addiction; alcohol, drugs, sex, overeating or whatever. They treat it as a holistic approach and don't discern between what one's addiction is. There is an underlying reason one seeks escape and it is addressed.

https://www.smartrecovery.org/
hb81

climber
Jul 24, 2018 - 09:33am PT
1 year sober today. Best wishes to all of you who share the same issues.

Take care
tradmanclimbs

Ice climber
Pomfert VT
Jul 24, 2018 - 01:49pm PT
Awesome!
Happiegrrrl2

Trad climber
Jul 24, 2018 - 02:15pm PT
Congratulations on 1 year, and for 4 tomorrow!

I'm coming into the final stretch of my anniversary in about a month. At this time each year I have at least a few days that have a melancholy undertone that seems to me to be a body memory of the week or so before I got sober.

I've had a couple drunk dreams this year - they always seem to be that I've been drinking all along, or smoking pot on occasion, and am only now realizing I haven't sober after all. They are such weird dreams, as I am always like "But wait....how can I not be sober. How can I not have realized I've been doing this." Then I wake up, and feel that confusion, but come out of it and am like "Phew! Just a dream."
Trump

climber
Jul 24, 2018 - 02:37pm PT
Coming from a long line of alcoholics-in-recovery, I sometimes wonder if the drinking culture might have a climbing problem. My admiration and respect to those who manage their drinking and climbing in a way that pleases them.

Stay safe out there, and cheers to looking on the sunny side!, whichever side you find that to be for you.
johntp

Trad climber
Little Rock and Loving It
Jul 24, 2018 - 02:40pm PT
They are such weird dreams, as I am always like "But wait....how can I not be sober. How can I not have realized I've been doing this." Then I wake up, and feel that confusion, but come out of it and am like "Phew! Just a dream."

I get those pretty often. Not always drinking dreams but very vivid semi-nightmares where I'm in some dire situation or another. They are so vivid that I've woken myself up by physically acting on the situation, kinda like a virtual reality thing. I used to not remember dreams much, but these are so real and usually include significant people in my past and current life.
Happiegrrrl2

Trad climber
Aug 17, 2018 - 04:12pm PT
I'm in the countdown to my anniversary, which will be August 26th, if I can continue to stay away from a drink, one day at a time. It will be 22 years sober.

Today was a weird day that I am just going to put down as the seeming body memories I get around this time of year - remembering how lost I felt in the weeks leading to my bottom. I have been waking up in a slightly angry mood, when there's really nothing to be angry about that I can put a finger on. My patience with people has been low, and though I haven't said anything or used a tone that I would have to apologize for, I don't like feeling the way I do when dealing with difficult people.

I wish I could be more like the people who can smile and pretend they believe the person who is telling them something flat out untrue, or who are not bothered by people being azzholes, and patiently explain how there must have been "some miscommunication, somewhere along the line." Instead I look at them with a smirk, and eyes that say "I know you are lying," or "It has not escaped my attention that you are an azzhole."

It feels like a failure of mine, that I haven't developed/evolved in the way a healthy person does; that I still get so emotionally tied up in other people's behaviors, that I let it affect me.

I don't know it I will ever get past this issue, but one thing I do know, is that I don't feel this way ALL the time. And so I can take comfort in knowing the feelings of self-dislike are temporary, and will pass, even if they may return again.
tradmanclimbs

Ice climber
Pomfert VT
Aug 17, 2018 - 07:49pm PT
I had forgotten my anniversary is aug 24th? happy always reminds me. I also get those drunk dreams. have not had one in awhile but I do get them. in my dream I can have a couple of beers because it does not count in the dream but then at some point I realize that I am full of sh#t and wasted... I also end up squatting in the old hunting camp where I used to live. it is in terrible disrepair and just barely able to keep the elements at bay with duct tape and plastic sheeting. I have to protect my turf from other homeless people...
I guess that is a nightmare....
tradmanclimbs

Ice climber
Pomfert VT
Aug 17, 2018 - 07:51pm PT
its actually pretty good these days. will be 12 years in a few weeks. perhaps the dreams just keep me honest....
Bushman

climber
The state of quantum flux
Aug 17, 2018 - 09:11pm PT
Not expecting I would have any drinking/using dreams, I had a weed dream the other night, and in that semi-conscious moment before waking, I contemplated that it would be ok to take up using it again. But I knew what to do when I fully woke up as I reminded myself of my condition, remembering the desperate dance, the wasted finances, and the disdain and disappointment I always felt towards myself for giving in to temptation.

You see, I was not a normal drunk and weed smoker, and when partying with friends, I secretly always yearned to get more high in private where social conventions would not limit my consumption of alcohol or the green stuff. Naturally, smoking so much weed and drinking so much had an adverse effect on my short term memory and overall cognitive functions. Consequently, I don’t remember a lot of what happened during those years.

Today marks my 29th year clean and sober and I can’t believe how so much time has gone by since that dark, dark hour. It was on August 17th, 1989 when I took my last drink or a drug. That was the day when everything changed for me. I’ll not suffer any more from that form of slow death, as long I can remember what got me there and what I have to do about it.

-bushman
Mike Honcho

Trad climber
Glenwood Springs, CO
Aug 18, 2018 - 08:16am PT
Picking up my 6 month chip at me homegroup this next Wednesday. Funny, I'm the chair of that group for another 6 months. Did not think at all I'd piss away almost 8 years sober.. but it happened.

~Caylor
Happiegrrrl2

Trad climber
Aug 18, 2018 - 12:18pm PT
I remember when a guy who had double digit sobriety in one of my AA groups slipped. Nobody EVER would have expected he would slip. What happened was that he got into a relationship with someone, and had his heart broken. He slipped because it hurt so much.

He kept coming back to the rooms, for a while, unable to regain a foothold in sobriety. It was torture for him. He WANTED to get straight, and couldn't put together more than a few days.

It was so painful for the rest of us. If good wishes could have gotten him clean, they would have. We were ALL batting for him. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to do it, and at some point overdosed on a mixture of drugs and alcohol, and died.

He was one of the men in my circle that I thought "if he was available, I'd be interested."

When he slipped, and later died, it was like a course of shocks going through my body. If "he" couldn't have just that one drink, than sure as hell I cannot."

That's all it took - one drink.


Edit: Congratulations to you all with your milestones! Especially Hank, who may go by another name, but has a thread that is still just as sweet.

Mike Honcho

Trad climber
Glenwood Springs, CO
Aug 18, 2018 - 12:54pm PT
Thanks Mike/Hank.

Especially Hank, who may go by another name

Just to be clear, this is Hank Caylor, not using my full name as I do Govt. Contract Security stuff and pretty much nobody else uses their real name around here either. There is no mystery, just tired of every dumbass thing I say ending up on Google..

Congrats folks, very very glad this thread is still going strong.
neebee

Social climber
calif/texas
Aug 18, 2018 - 01:17pm PT
hey there say, ... happygrrrl... and each and everyone of you...

congratulations on the anniversaries...

and, on all that hard work, and trust, to get to this point...

yes, it is 'trust' too-- trust that the trails will NOT cave in on
you, as you take to them in a 'new and different' manner, than before...


for those that may have 'ended up' on the 'rabbit trail' that will
slip you back into the hole-- remember your success:

remember this:

when you ARE on the trail... the trail works, and YOU DO get 'on upwards'
to the new beauty, along the way...


a slip, is a slip, not a failure of the trail...
just mark down why, the rabbit-trail 'caught' you...
and, at what point in life you were at, personally or work-wise, and,
'and physical weakness that may have been going on' aAND--

keep that an in information to 'recognize' a rabbit trail can do catch
you and this can make you stronger yet... (not weaker, as it will trick
you to THINK-so)...

remember -- this 'stuff' wants to control you...

if you know how and why-- you are THEN 'in the drivers' seat,
and, the rest of the control is up to you, to--
keep you 'KEY' and 'take your trail' ...

not the 'stuffs' ... and, rabbit trails will have 'no pull' if
you 'remember' how 'one' tripped you up...


EDIT:
SAY, HANK... i was just thinking of you, when i saw the name, and was
curious...

say-- had you in mind, too, when i posted this...
you WILL do it...

keep the 'key of insight' ...

i believe in you...


and-- yes, this is FOR ALL OF YOU, AS WELL-- you are all special! ...

everyone, 'drink-wise' or 'drug wise' or, 'emotion wise'
or, WHATEVER our troubles may be...

rabbit trails... sly, side temptations, hurt the good-solid trail
that we really want and love... (they deceive us, as to 'something there
that we might be missing, lacking, or, might just just seem to 'be fun and add a bit of spice', or, it may have some 'cryptic answer to a part of the new trail that we have not solved yet ) --

the 'powerful allure' stuff that makes one fall into the pit:
ANYONE...

and thus, come the danger, where one can lose it all--if not
able to climb back to trail--if no friend to help pull up back up...

no fun, in that, and no answer to life, either...

let's KEEP LIFE... and keep our trail clear of brush that
might hide or fancy up' those rabbit trail...


awwww, the beauty of a good solid clear trail!
tradmanclimbs

Ice climber
Pomfert VT
Aug 29, 2018 - 03:33am PT
my 12th came and went aug 24th or 25th? getting old and not remembering as well. I noticed on the 26th... Hope Happie is doing well I know hers is near mine.
Mike Honcho

Trad climber
Glenwood Springs, CO
Aug 29, 2018 - 08:11am PT
That's badass tradmanclimbs! I pray I'm there one day.

Hankster
salad

Big Wall climber
Aug 29, 2018 - 12:27pm PT
As of today I can actually say I've been sober for yearS.

2 years for me. Good job everyone.
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