The Grack, Center 5.6

 
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Glacier Point Apron


Yosemite Valley, California USA


Trip Report
To THE GRACK AND BACK A Dr. Seusslike Trip Report
Tuesday August 2, 2011 2:09am
ave you ever seen a Grack?

Have you? I have, Its a matter of fact.

This morning I saw one, though it was dark, I saw one inside Yosemite Park.

Midnight, One, here comes Two, its time to drive Nut One and Nut Two!

"Two in the morning?" Thats early you say, not for these nuts, they've got to go to work today. So rise and shine, o dark thirty they drive, to slay the Grack, to catch it alive.

We're racking no later than Four Forty Five, does a Grack live in a cave?

Or maybe a Hive?
Credit: micronut

At this inhumane hour, we're storming the tower. The trail is faint, but skaredy we aint. We bolt from the lot soon the trail we lose, but tons of black coffee gives wings to our shoes.
Credit: micronut

The darkness its creepy, but the Grack is still sleepy.

We'll soon face this beast, who lurks in the east. Glacier Point Apron is known for its rockfall, but worry we won't for we have a new chalkball. And with a new chalkball all things are made better, but the hike makes my armpits drip inside my sweater.
Credit: micronut

Its still black when we reach the base of his lair, we've got triples of camalots, this wont even be fair.

Nut 1 begins to change out his shoes, when "What's that Nut 2, you now got to poo?"
Credit: micronut

"Please nut 2, do not go poo, we have four hundred feet of handcrack to do!"

"I must Nut 1, I now must go poo, I'll be back in a jiffy, then I'll hold the rope for you."

(NUT 1)
"Do not poop near our rack!"

""Do not poop near this crack!"

"Do you have a paper sack?"

"To poop and leave no trace on The Grack?"

NUT 2
"I will not poop upon our rack, I'll poop nowhere this awesome crack, I have no sack, but off the track I'll go to poop far from The Grack!"

Well now well now....Welcome back.....look, the sunrise, its at your back.
Credit: micronut

The route above is crystal clear, there's nowere to go but UP from right here.
Credit: micronut


Nut 1 quickly takes the lead.... and dances up with Potter speed.

Now here I come, a fine belay, a giggling and quiggling start to the day.
Credit: micronut

We are fully on the righteous track to find and catch the mysterious Grack.

Is he Purple?

Is he Green?

Is he somewhere in between?

Scales, quills, feathers, wings?

Will he bite?

Will he sting?

We do not care, we must go up....we must keep climbing UP UP UP !
Credit: micronut
Credit: micronut
Credit: micronut
Credit: micronut
Credit: micronut

My block ends. Nut 1 climbs on. By now we've both begun to yawn. We've gone non stop since two this morning, our sleep bells are ringing...Warning....Warning!!! We must press on, to see The Grack, to keep finger locking this finger crack. Its yummy, its tasty, the handjams are many, but I cannot stop thinking of breakfast at Denny's. We get to the top, we see the top of Half Dome, but children and wives are waiting at home. We cannot stay here, we must go down, or lives they are waiting, down on that ground.
Credit: micronut

Credit: micronut


Credit: micronut
We caught nary a glimse of the sneaky old Grack. Not a wing, claw or tail was inside that crack. He must live up higher than we'll ever go, up where the clouds, float above snow. He stays there to tease us, to challenge our wits, but I'me sure in my gut, that his type exist.

Credit: micronut
We tie ropes together with a slick EDK...
"This things gonna hold us? No way.....Yeah way"

We're down on the ground in a lickety split, its as purdy a morning as a morning can git.
Credit: micronut

We're back to my rig by a minute past eight, now drive Nuts Drive....you mustn't be late!
Credit: micronut

We're now back in Fresno, the days just beginning...... with mornings like this, life just feels like winning. Our children are happy that dads are home safe, and wives are still happy, no anger no chaffe. So now off to work and into our day, but Denny's is first, life's just better that way.
Credit: micronut
(Micronut and Macronut live in Fresno, ca, and have awesome wives, lives and jobs that allow them to climb enough to keep the fire burning brightly inside. They climb early on Fridays, so keep an eye out for them on your "alpine approach." They'll be heading back to the car. They do not like green eggs and ham, but have a soft spot for country fried steak, eggs, hashbrowns, toast and grits.)















































  Trip Report Views: 2,759
micronut
About the Author
micronut is a trad climber from fresno, ca.

Comments
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Comment on this Trip Report
JEleazarian

Trad climber
Fresno CA
  Aug 2, 2011 - 02:37am PT
What a fun TR of one of my favorite climbs. Thanks much!

John
nutjob

Sport climber
Almost to Hollywood, Baby!
  Aug 2, 2011 - 03:18pm PT
I loved it! I may have to try a Seussian/Gieselian trip report at some point:)
the Fet

climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
  Aug 2, 2011 - 04:29pm PT
The time to go up in that rockfall is never,
But those are the best photos of the Grack ever.

Oh it's a poop, I had hoped just a toot,
But still a good climb and a fine poem to boot.
Captain...or Skully

climber
in the oil patch...Fricken Bakken, that's where
  Aug 2, 2011 - 05:07pm PT
Deja Vu, man.
Technogeekery

Trad climber
Sydney, Australia
  Aug 2, 2011 - 08:35pm PT
nice report, and love the suessian style!
Ezra Ellis

Trad climber
North wet, and Da souf
  Aug 3, 2011 - 01:35pm PT
Nice Job, NUT JOBS!
Mark Hudon

Trad climber
Hood River, OR
  Aug 3, 2011 - 04:37pm PT
I thought I commented on this one already?

Great TR you NUTS!
msiddens

Trad climber
  Aug 3, 2011 - 04:44pm PT
You guys are nuts. Hope to meet you one of these days. Maybe not so early and I hope over a six-pack.
climbrunride

Sport climber
Golf Wall, CO
  Aug 3, 2011 - 04:47pm PT
Awesome!
BrianH

Trad climber
santa fe
  Aug 4, 2011 - 12:54pm PT
Chock full o'awesome!!!
aran

Trad climber
berkeley, ca
  Nov 16, 2011 - 10:26am PT
Excellent report, and beautiful writing. Your tr's are as good as they get- thank you for sharing and happy climbing!
Murzerker

climber
Away from Walhalla
  Nov 16, 2011 - 10:49am PT
Fantastic! Always very entertained by your adventures, and your writing style.
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
  Nov 16, 2011 - 11:30am PT
Nice work team!

Always love Dr. Soooooooose.
Sierra Ledge Rat

Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
  Nov 16, 2011 - 11:43am PT
The Grack was one of my favorite free-solo routes. One time I even free-soloed the route (and down climbed it) while wearing hiking boots.
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  Apr 13, 2012 - 05:22pm PT
How fast does The Grack dry out after a rain? Any locals want to chime in? Is it a bowling alley for loose stuff for a while after rain/snow? Could it be just fine after a couple warm Spring days or does it stay kind of slippery on that aspect for a while?
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
  Apr 13, 2012 - 05:28pm PT
climb it whet.
new adventures in unlikely places.

if you weight for the water to
move upcycle then your
endeavor will fall short
of its potential.

go with the wet crack.
surrender to slime,
hold on while your sails billow
micronut

Trad climber
Fresno/Clovis, ca
Author's Reply  Jan 21, 2014 - 08:21pm PT
The "Apron Appreciation Thread" reminded me that I wrote this one a while back. Kinda fun memories.
TrundleBum

Trad climber
Las Vegas
  Jan 21, 2014 - 09:24pm PT

Fun report.

Fun what you can do with camera angles as well 'eh :0
Da Bean on the Grack
Da Bean on the Grack
Credit: TrundleBum
Andy Fielding

Trad climber
UK
  Jan 23, 2014 - 04:50am PT
Got stuck behind a Swiss couple on this a few years ago. They had an epic getting off when one of them dropped their belay/rap device. Nice route, nice pics, great TR. Thanks
L

climber
California dreamin' on the farside of the world..
  Jan 23, 2014 - 08:49am PT
Missed this the first time 'round.
Thanks for bumping it.

Loved it!
cultureshock

Trad climber
Mountain View
  Jan 23, 2014 - 12:24pm PT
somehow missed this one the first time around.

Good work with the Rhyming!!

Another classic TR!~!!!!111!!! ;)

 Luke
RyanD

climber
Squamish
  Jan 23, 2014 - 12:25pm PT
Mega! That was fun(ny) as hell to read. Thanks.
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