Best Route Names

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Andy Fielding

Trad climber
UK
Feb 13, 2015 - 04:28pm PT
Here's some from this side of the pond

Every Cormorant is a Potential Shag
Darkinbad the Brightdayler
Conan the Librarian
Careless Torque
Subterranean Rabbit Launcher
Snivelling Shits
Neutrons for Old
Mohammed the Mad Monk of Moorside Home for Mental Misfits
Wakey! Wakey! Hands off Snakey!

...and finally

Clive Coolhead Realises the Excitement of Knowing You May be the Author of Your Own Death is More Intense Than Orgasm
mucci

Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
Feb 13, 2015 - 07:11pm PT
Turdlockenstan

Babies on fire

Bovine diddle technician

The road to Bagalaar
Norwegian

Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
Feb 13, 2015 - 07:17pm PT
shite creek.
thebravecowboy

climber
just banana-jam it
Feb 13, 2015 - 07:23pm PT
Ten cheers fir the little cowboy upthread!


Journey through Gwondonaland

[sic?]
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
Feb 13, 2015 - 07:48pm PT
Pretty much anything from the Car Guys staff credit list:

http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits


;-)

nature

climber
Boulder, CO
Feb 14, 2015 - 08:17am PT
Mulva - 11b
drljefe

climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
Feb 14, 2015 - 08:31am PT
Rosie Palm
KabalaArch

Trad climber
Starlite, California
Feb 14, 2015 - 12:04pm PT
Origin of "Freewheelin'" route name is likely:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Freewheelin%27_Bob_Dylan

Just to set the record straight, Kabala, I named Freewheelin, and since you're curious why, I'll tell ya. It's the name of an early Dylan album which I particularly like. Girl from the North Country, Masters of War, Blowin in the Wind and other solid classics. But more than that, the name captures a feeling of the era which probably can't be explained to someone who didn't grow up in the sixties and didn't live in Camp 4 in the early seventies. The route was the first on MCRs North Apron, and climbing it was stepping out of the box in many beautiful ways. No ties - Freewheelin.

As to Black Primo, I named that too. It was never named Black Rose of Death. Meyers put it in his first topo book as Black Rose, a name I considered but didn't use, I think because he didn't want to be associated with the drug reference. He was on the FA with Largo and I. George was never much of a stoner and came from a fairly conservative background. 

And there might not be a line at its base, but that says zippo about the quality of the route. It is excellent - hard, continuous, superb rock, tricky cruxes, runout. The best line on the North Face Apron. No line at the base of Southern Belle either, or many of the Valley's truly best and boldest routes, for that matter.

Clint and Kevin-

Thanks for some clarification re the name origins of routes famous enough to become both climbing folklore and urban legend.

Yes, Kevin, I was being very factious in the reference to the non-existent lines at the base of “Black Primo,” of course.

If all of the routes on MCR North Apron are gemstones, Black Primo is the diamond.

The armchair geologist in me has noted that the diorite intrusion of Black Primo appears to have a strong geomorphic correlation with the intrusion that defines the NA Wall. Other small diorite intrusions are scattered here and there across The Apron, and to crimp on these perfect square cuts, with the appearance and the texture of, say, 600 grit wet-or-dry sandpaper, is to experience the best of both bull's eye edging, and friction climbing.

I'd plotted and schemed for many many years to plant my flag high on Black Primo. Like all of the other contenders (I think I've witnessed one attempt in 40 years), the protection prospect above the false belay halfway up the 1st pitch was just too bleak to attempt at that, or at any other, time.

Hats off to the pioneers of MCR North Apron! “The Times, they are a-changing” resulted in what can be arguably the finest face climbs anywhere, established and protected with exceptionally pure practices. Just imagine coming across virgin Valley territory, on this scale, in the early 70's; relatively late in the game. But then again, the routes which came to be established represent all that is the finest about Valley ethics. And the climbers of the years before had enough sense (or, since they were of the Big Wall generation, a simple lack of interest) to leave most all of Middle Cathedral alone, until it could be approached on its own terms.

Thanks for your replies!
eeyonkee

Trad climber
Golden, CO
Feb 14, 2015 - 12:33pm PT
Like it, Warbler. I wish I'd a said that.
TRo

climber
Feb 14, 2015 - 06:54pm PT
Could have been called Manufactured as well.
Roger Breedlove

climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Feb 14, 2015 - 08:11pm PT
The names for the first two route on the North Face Apron, Freewheeling and Quicksilver, are just about as evocative as they come. I had nothing to do with the naming, just climbing on what became Freewheeling.

Kevin points to Dylan's album name as the source, but freewheels originally referred to a wheel running faster than the drive mechanism. In the original bicycles, there was no clutch mechanism between the cranks and the wheels, so if you were going down hill the wheel could turn the cranks faster than the rider could keep up. This occurs in manual transmission drive trains when you turn off the engine and don't engage the clutch. This will ruin a two cycle engine that depends on the oil in the fuel to lubricate the cylinders. It will also create either wide eyed glee or wide eyed fear when careening down a hill without the engine compression to create a brake.

In a human endeavor, this sense of freewheeling means that actions are running faster than the mind is controlling them.

The other meaning of freewheeling mechanics refers to an undriven, uncontrolled wheel. This morphed into a meaning of undirected or uncontrolled progress and is the meaning that Dylan uses in his album name.

The cool thing about Kevin's naming the first route on the North Face Apron is that all of these meanings apply.

Quicksilver is also evocative of the climbing on the North Face Apron. It refers to the liquid metal mercury, which for those old enough to remember was a magical liquid from broken thermometers that formed blobs and skittered into tiny balls when smashed but never evaporated--an endless plaything until the pieces got so small that they could not be recovered. Never mind that is was poisonous: our mom's didn't know.

Quicksilver has been used in similes and metaphors forever to describe something that moves or changes very quickly, or that is difficult to hold or contain, both of which capture the climbing on the North Face Apron.

Cool names.

The story of Jim losing his cool on the North Face Apron was quite a watershed for the younger climbers captivated by bolted slab climbing in the early 1970s. Jim was pathologically unflappable--he never lost his cool. So for him to refuse to follow his 'boys' into our new found runout slab climbing was momentous. But none of us recognized it at the time, since Jim was still the best climber in the galaxy. A few years later, Jim's protegees were pushing freeclimbing past his capabilities--a painful experience all good climbers face and which Jim distinguished himself by facing it gracefully--but in 1973 is was just a humorous oddity that Jim thought we were crazy.

Great stories from the North Face Apron, Kevin.
hugo watt

Trad climber
California
Feb 14, 2015 - 08:56pm PT
The skull is natures helmet.
The route was particularly loose and I didn't own a helmet at the time.
Flip Flop

Trad climber
Truckee, CA
Feb 14, 2015 - 09:30pm PT
Mr. Natural
One Hand Clapping
I Can't Believe it's a Girdle
Do or Fly
White Punks on Dope
Beckey/ Chouinard
Chouinard/Herbert
Inverted Staircase
Wandering Taoist
Hands of Fate
Fair Hands Line
Gletschersymphonie (Glacier Symphony)
Archangel
Crescent Arch
Crystal Bonzai
Desiderata
Ride a Wild Bago


KabalaArch

Trad climber
Starlite, California
Feb 14, 2015 - 10:39pm PT
One of the finest photos in Yosemite Climber is that full page of Mr. Worrall, here, near the top of Quicksilver.

Naturally, most climbers BITD didn't carry a photog and rigging crew along with their rack. So some of the best action shots are a happenstance opportunity dialed into the nature, and the alignment, of the line itself.

Please feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken, Kevin, but for years I always thought that that xlnt shot of yourself was of a leader, traversing out and left from a belay. It wasn't until I had the opportunity to top out and see the situation first hand that I realized you are traversing into the top belay, from the uppermost bolt.

The most striking aspect of Kevin's portrait, though, is that look of the intense concentration required by techniques needed to step it up and go. Smooth, steady, and a very fluid and consistent flow of motion wins this race. A thinking man's climb, you don't bring your day to a close because you're pumped. It's always seemed that it's the combination of mental fatigue and nervous exhaustion is the cue to abandon ship. Once you hit your groove, the sequences of friction dishes; subtle changes in surface texture (sometimes mere inches apart); flow by for hours. But then, and very suddenly, the features just melt back into the media background and disappear, and all the might and main in the world aint' gonna get you any higher that day.

1978 so brought the acquaintance of Scott Burk, fresh from the HOM completion, pretty demoralized by the negative gossip (which explains the undergraded and runnout nature of his subsequent FA's)

Only 17 to my 24, Scottie was a fine mentor, both in terms of face | friction technique, and in ethics.

If he caught you standing on a bolt to rest, for example, he'd begin to slowly feed you slack until you got it back in gear; same if you God forbid rested too long on the rope after a fall – a “simulated Leader Fall” was his term for disciplining his belayers.

Scott was just as fervent as regards the location of proposed projects as their ethical context.

Two seasons, for example, were consecrated to his Pieces of Eight, between the Powell – Reed and Paradise Lost on MC NE Face.

He began his season with a shakedown of lots of the Apron routes. And, as his conscript, Kabala was rewarded with a taste of some of the cool but obscure routes here, like, say, Orange Peel, as we both familiarized ourselves with the nuances of the place.

Having thus become acquainted with some of the anticipated rockwork, Scott next hit upon the idea of establishing a “throw-away” FA, again to better appreciate the idea of a low impact, sustainable, route engineering practice on one of our Valley's greatest monuments, but in a sort of hidden corner. It is drawn but appropriately unnoted in all subsequent guidebooks. It was a “MCR First Ascent Simulation,” and Scott did not wish to have his rep remotely associated with it.

Taking this recon effort into account, Scott then devoted two summer seasons to his Pieces of Eight demonstration of OCD. He was going through belayers in relays.

I'd paid some dues up on his 4th Pitch, I think. At this point, it was more expedient to traverse in from Paradise Lost. As you know, most MCR stone is exceptionally compact, and a hand-drilled 3/8” bolt required 45 minutes minimum.

A medivac helicopter jetted in below and close-in to our positions; the late afternoon sun took on amber tones. Clearly, the day had come to a close. Total accomplished for the day: 1 Pitch, with 2 protection bolts and a 2 bolt anchor.

So Kabala, you're a rare climber to appreciate what's up there as you so passionately say you do, and an even rarer climber if you've ventured up on that route. It's an acquired taste for sure, but the best tasting slab climbing I've ever known. I'd encourage you to tune into MCR and do the entire climb, the first pitch is kind of an approach pitch - the outstanding climbing lies above, even the last 5.9 pitch follows an amazing weakness with unclimbable rock on either side.

This is a deeply atmospheric place, really my favorite after a lengthy career. To kick back at the base and decompress in the eternal shade of the North Face, backlit by the direct sun reflected from the bright El Cap is to know inner peace. Have never climbed on the Apron during the narrow window when it catches direct sunlight, as in your portrait. Although I've walked out the approach with binos to glass prospective projects in this direct sun. Its climate is such that it's possible to post 5.10 on all but the hottest of mid Summer days. I am going to take your remark as a complement, Kevin, because I really do love the place, and regard its First Ascentionists in high esteem, for having introduced and consolidated an emerging and perhaps a visionary ethic.

As written up Thread, I think there's only been the one period where it all came together – the leading on lesser Apron routes; the cardio and the weight training; yoga for self control (beginning with breathing) – came together close enough for Black Primo to emerge as a possibility, with a much stronger climber to take responsibility for the crux pitches.

I'd prefer not to disclose my age, other than to insinuate that the happy conjunction of all the elements necessary to ascend Black Primo, and in an appropriate Style, is not at all as likely an event as it might have been perhaps 20 years ago. Let's just say I am old enough to be my own father :P

Again, Thank You for the informative replies about a personal favorite Valley formation. Sadly, Black Primo has been one of the few career goals which remained beyond reach. At least I've enough mountain sense to know the difference between Going For It – an essential for this type of business – and a kind of recklessness easily associated with folks who climb for reasons other than sport, and from which people sometimes do not return.

I'm okay with that Kevin; if all objectives have been reached, perhaps the bar wasn't set highly enough?

In a human endeavor, this sense of freewheeling means that actions are running faster than the mind is controlling them.

This.

And Thank You, Roger, for adding to the conversation.
MisterE

Gym climber
Bishop, CA
Mar 15, 2015 - 08:26pm PT
Great stuff Kevin and Roger!

My friend and I put up a new route today in Pine Creek called: Alan Bartlett Wasn't Here Ground-up, 5.10 mixed.
tradmanclimbs

Ice climber
Pomfert VT
Mar 16, 2015 - 03:53am PT
I climbed a route over a big lake a few weeks ago called Drop Swim Or Die
Greg Maschinot

climber
Mar 16, 2015 - 07:44am PT
Elder cleavage
Yellow belly
Son of bitchy virgin
Drop fly or die
Menace to sobriety
Labatt ami
Psychosis
slabbo

Trad climber
colo south
Mar 16, 2015 - 08:04am PT
In the UK- Reticent Mass Murderer and of course Benign Lives
Tork

climber
Yosemite
Mar 16, 2015 - 08:16am PT
In ORG...Gimme the Helmet, I'll Be the Stunt Man
k-man

Gym climber
SCruz
Mar 16, 2015 - 09:05am PT
I came back later with some fellow lunatics to finish the route.

That actually made me laugh out loud.

If ever I regain what it takes to climb on that colored apron, it will be with the band of my fellow lunatics.




A couple of route names that are good for a laugh:

Black Dudes on Welfare (a pun on White Punks on Dope)

Boogers on a Lampshade (also a pun ...)




And the name in search of a route that Werner came up with:

It's Just a Damn Sarcastic Joke
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