Discussion Topic |
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| Messages 1 - 226 of total 226 in this topic |
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Topic Author's Original Post - Apr 1, 2009 - 11:09pm PT
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"Anybody can put up a classic route, but it takes real talent to come up with a great route name."
Charlie Fowler
What are the best route NAMES?
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Mimi
climber
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A Farewell to Arms, The Gunks.
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tom Slater
Trad climber
CA
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"Nipples That Cut Glass" .10b
Twin Crags - Tahoe
Tobin Sorenson put up a route called "Inner Sanctum" 5.10a at Bishop Peak (San Luis Obispo) that is pretty runout (2 bolts and a nut). The first bolt is nearly 30 feet up. If you lead it, the name fits.
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Melissa
Gym climber
berkeley, ca
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I think I've posted my faves before...
Ephemeral Clogdance (a slab)
I Saw a Sleaze Revisit Ed (Next to Isosceles Revisted)
Fully B.S., or a Tree. (You get it when you see it.)
Jumar of Flesh (ow)
Waiting for Walter. (Long story.)
Mother Earth (Very classy, IMO, for such a big line up Middle. Which is the alpha female. It just is...I don't know why exactly.)
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adam d
climber
CA
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Wages of Skin (Rock Creek Canyon)
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Well of course Eldo's Naked Edge goes without need of mention.
If you know the history Country Club Crack (in Boulder Canyon) is a brilliant name.
Unimpeachable Groping (at Red Rock) is a fabulously apt and funny name.
I Can't Believe It's A Girdle (at J Tree) always tickled my funny bone.
Takes me back to old TV commercials.
But my all time favorite is Too Loose To Trek (the J Tree choss fest classic).
Described as a short dirty little climb.
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marty(r)
climber
beneath the valley of ultravegans
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'Magnolia Thunder Pussy' has to be up there.
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adam d
climber
CA
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gunks...Erect Direction
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Studly
Trad climber
WA
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Mescalito
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Lynne Leichtfuss
Social climber
valley center, ca
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In my own humble opinion, Planning Commission....it's named after yo...heheh. Yeah, I'm prejudiced...that's another good one by the way. lrl
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MH2
climber
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Anybody can come up with a classy route name but it takes real talent to come up with a great route naming system.
Clay, Earwax, ...
Although as names I like Crack of Doom versus Puff 'n' Grunt Chimney (thanks to Kevin Bein).
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Chicken Skinner
Trad climber
Yosemite
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I always liked "Honor Thy Father".
Ken
P.S. A great name can add an extra star to the route.
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rick d
climber
tucson, az
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best route name never used:
"Leonard Smalls"
(obviously a smaller that tcu crack)
"my friends call me Lenny, but I don't have any friends"
He is the biker from Raising Arizona for those who missed it.
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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How about Sphincter Quits or Ride a Wild Bago?
And of course The Central Pillar of Frenzy, The Grand Giraffe and Death and Transfiguration.
Another one of my all time favorites is The Aeolian Wall.
Ooh and The Plunge!
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climbrunride
Trad climber
Durango, CO
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2nd vote for I Can't Believe It's A Girdle.
I especially like route names which play off of the names of more famous routes/formations, like:
Central Pillar Of Frenzy
Boogers On A Lampshade
Run From You Wife
etc.
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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unnamed
that one always seems to work.
ToddSk. once entrusted me with a few of his gem names, causing me to swear that I'd never tell 'em or use 'em. Well, now that he's gone, I gotta say, I want to put up:
"Looking for Mr. Armbar"
RiP Buddy.
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T2
climber
Cardiff by the sea
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No mistake or big pancake
Edging skills or hospital bills
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Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
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Let's F*ck the Crack Whore and Dingo Ate my Floater are two of my favorites..........
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Port
Trad climber
San Diego
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illusion Dweller
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Mimi
climber
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I almost forgot this ultraclassic. Strapadictomy.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Butthair and Across the River from Butthair.
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paul roehl
Boulder climber
california
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How about "Names in the Guidebook." Was that JTree or Suicide?
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Mimi
climber
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Any of you boys had a go at Snatch Power?
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
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David's new route name is my current favorite:
"Warthog Speedball"
Any weird irreverence is cool for routenames - extra points for double entendres
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Reilly
Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
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Black Widow - Midnight Rock - Leavenworth (not Kansas)
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Fluoride
Trad climber
Hollywood, CA
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Another vote for Edging Skills or Hospital Bills. And Ride a Wild Bago.
And I've always wanted to know the back story of Way-Homo Sperm Burpers from Fresno and how that got it's name. Over near Y Crack in the Devil's Bathtub area.
That one klaus mentioned in a thread a while back about I Saw a Sleaze Revisit Ed, after Isosoles Revisted and that bad girlfriend story involving a guy named Ed. Eric saw the line next to IR, Walt came up with the name. I think Cade told the story. That was hilarious.
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wildone
climber
GHOST TOWN
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Nobody Walks in L.A. - J Tree
Heahtenistic Pursuit - Yos
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Gunkie
climber
East Coast US
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Swinging C#&%
...well someone had to post it.
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JohnRoe
Trad climber
State College, PA
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Climbin' Punishment
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Prod
Trad climber
A place w/o Avitars apparently
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Pizza Dick
Hank can fill in the story.
Prod.
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Concerned citizen
Big Wall climber
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Cemetery Gates, on the right wall of Cenotaph Corner, Llanberis Pass. The climb has a history and the name has a serendipitous origin.
Joe Brown's account of its first ascent in "The Hard Years" includes the statements "The position on the face was very sensational and frightening. I brought up Don (Whillans) and he was flabbergasted. 'Christ, this is a gripping place,' he muttered hoarsely. Neither of us seemed able to move." Remember, this is Brown and Whillans! Then, regarding the name, "Going home that night on the motor bike we saw a bus in Chester with Cemetery Gates on its indicator."
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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You've got to love 'Perilous Journey', a Breashears
'ultra modern horror death route (literally), in Eldorado
as Jim Erickson called it. . .
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Gary
climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
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The Official Route of the 1984 Olympics
From Bad Traverse
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day
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"The Dripping Clit"
Not a great climb but what a name. Genious.
Crux was a mantle on a loose moss-covered block after pumping up a splitter.
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mooch
Big Wall climber
The Immaculate Conception
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And I've always wanted to know the back story of Way-Homo Sperm Burpers from Fresno and how that got it's name.
Ask Kris Solem or Guy Keesee.....as I remember, it had bit to do with Spencer and crew.
"Buggery On The High Seas" (.10b/c)
"Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Around The Corner Fudge Is Made" (.10dR)
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Porkchop_express
Trad climber
the base of the Shawangunk Ridge
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make haste or tomato paste
finger locks or cedar box
(gunks)
I always thought Satanic mechanic had a little ring to it as well.
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Roughster
Sport climber
Vacaville, CA
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A few of my favorites:
Bionic Bitch Slap
Ticks Dig Me
Drill Music
Destructomatic
Spankterfied
Beer Factor
Captain Choss
Handicapable
Confusion Tactics
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Owlman
Trad climber
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"Big Willey's Little Hooters"
-Hooter Wall (near Moab)
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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The Forrest Walker.
Anything but a walk in the woods!
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Roger Breedlove
climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
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Charlie was right!
Although, "From Bad Traverse" and "Black and Decker" are great names.
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Erik Christensen
Boulder climber
Bozeman, MT
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I've got to put another vote in for the Central Pillar of Frenzy.
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Roger Breedlove
climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
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Thanks, Eric.
One of the best names in the Valley to me is "Final Exam," on Half Dome. But, it is just an okay name unless you connect it to the routes on Arch Rock with 'school' names (Entrance Exam, Midterm, Quicky Quizzes, The Application) and get the joke.
Klemens humor.
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drljefe
climber
Old Pueblo, AZ
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Baby Huey Smokes An Anti-Pipeload
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Dolomite
climber
Anchorage
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Drummond's "Dream of White Horses" has always been on my list (probably won't get to it in this lifetime, bummer).
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SteveW
Trad climber
The state of confusion
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Roger
The Final Exam is also a great little boulder problem/short
route up Boulder Canyon on Castle Rock, put in by Robbins & Ament in '64. My first 5.10
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the Fet
Supercaliyosemistic climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
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I think this has come up before...
I'll say the same thing again.
One Hand Clapping.
It's a great realization when you realize why it was named that.
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Gagner
climber
Boulder
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Hey Ron - Since you started with a quote from Charlie - in the early 80's I wrote two articles for Rock & Ice on climbing in the Tetons - one on rock routes and the other on alpine routes. Charlie was away on a trip and I wanted to include a route he had done with Allison Sheets. Since I couldn't get ahold of him to ask what he had named the route I called it in the article: "Fowled Sheets". He was a bit pissed off with me when he got back - he he.
Paul
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Redlands
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Cunning Stunt - Index, WA.
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Fat Dad
Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
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"No mistake or big pancake
Edging skills or hospital bills"
Add to that More Monkey than Funky. Always thought that Josh had a monopoly on clever route names.
I'll toss in one non-Josh just for balance: Crash and Burn (the Gunks). If you've seen pictures of the route you'll see how right the name is.
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Clint Cummins
Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
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"Sway it Ain't So" - a blocky arete in Connecticut which seems to move slightly when you are on it!
> Cunning Stunt - Index, WA.
Actually there is a route with the same name done in Boulder, CO, 1975, predating the one in Index by about 13 years.
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tolman_paul
Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
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Bottomless Topless
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AP
Trad climber
Calgary
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A friend was suffering marital problems a number of years ago.
He put up a route called "The Separated Reality"
After the marriage ended he had a girlfriend named Helen for a while. When that was over he put a climb called "Helen Damnation"
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 2, 2009 - 05:17pm PT
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Some of my own humble submissions;
PYGMY ALIEN
JIMMY THE GEEK
BABES IN THAILAND
PRODIGAL SUN (faces northeast)
SHEER LUNACY
MIDGETS WITH WIDGETS
IRON MESSIAH (all needed hardware "nailed" into place)
KRACKATOEA (2" wide crack)
PERVERTICAL SANCTUARY
WHERETOGO (next to Wendego)
OPEN FIRE (in the banned area of Valley of Fire)
BARBARIAN CADETS
PRESTIDIGITATOR
TROUBLE NO MORE (a climb to a rap point)
EXTRA TEXTURE
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originalpmac
Trad climber
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'Sailing the Seas of Cheese"
oh, wait, that was a Primus album. But it would be a great name for a route.
I think stuff like "Lurking Fear" and Seas of Dreams, and stuff like that is classic, as well as anything to do with phsycadelics
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philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
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Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Slabby D
Trad climber
B'ham WA
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"Battered Sandwich"
A relatively obscure 5.9 fist-to-squeeze chimney at Index, WA. The name made complete sense by the time I got to the top!
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Mike Bolte
Trad climber
Planet Earth
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"Chalk up another one" --clever
"The Satanic Traverses" -- back when Salman Rushdie had a price on his head
"Carabiner Cruise" -- one of mine
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Scared Silly
Trad climber
UT
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One of my favorite route names is "All Chalk, No Action" A nice little 12a in Little Cottonwood Canyon that gets many people doing exactly what the name says.
Another that follow a similar theme of being descriptive
All Bosched Up - one many sport routes at the CIty of Rocks.
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Russ Walling
Social climber
Upper Fupa, North Dakota
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Human Chew Toy
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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One of the most popular moderate routes at Squamish is "Rock On"
The name comes from the fact that after Steve Loomer and I found, cleaned, and climbed three pitches of steep corners in the South Gully, we moved on to other projects -- not even giving a name to what we'd just done, despite the fact that we thought the climbing was really good. A couple of years later Bob Millward and Jim Campbell found a cool little traverse at the top of our effort that led to more pitches, which made for a really fine 5- or 6-pitch outing in a terrific location.
They rocked on from where we left off ---> Rock On!
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Cataclysmic Megashear
Skillsaw Gourmet (actually talked to the FA who informed me he put it up around the time Jeffrey Dahmer was cutting people to pieces with a saw and cooking them!)
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FTOR
Sport climber
CA
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dead ranger
named in honor of the ranger who shot himself then tried (unsuccessfully) to blame it on a tourist. they cleared out the entire tuolumne campground mid summer ruining countless vacations...
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 2, 2009 - 06:52pm PT
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I thought Kim said it was a poacher.
(fully authorized thread drift)
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miller.545
Sport climber
Overland Park, KS
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"Harry Butthole Pussy Potter" at HCR in Arkansas.
Whats funny about this routes name is it is in the section that is notoriusly full of cub scouts and boy scouts, and I always get a laugh out of them seeing that name in the guide book.
Also "You'll never get sponsored if you keep climbing boulder problems like this" a V1 also at HCR
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the kid
Trad climber
fayetteville, wv
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all of my routes of course qualify!!
Burning down the house.
A farewell to Kings.
General Dynamics.
Rays Pin Job.
ks
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
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I like
"Doctor Sniff and the Tuna Boaters", "Gorilla My Dreams" &
"Hush, Hush, Bush of Slugs" at Index
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MH2
climber
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At a small crag in Ontario there is a climb called
How Elevators Changed Paris
named well before the heiress conquered the media world.
How did elevators change Paris?
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Jay Wood
Trad climber
Fairfax, CA
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Bruce proof roof.
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marty(r)
climber
beneath the valley of ultravegans
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"Seka's Specialty" (long cranks between jugs)
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ec
climber
ca
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The Nose
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day
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gay bob's throbbing knobs
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Peter Haan
Trad climber
San Francisco, CA
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Here are some of my still-to-be awarded names:
Pratt’s Clown College
Antiques Roadshow
Zabriskie Point
Fall of Man
Hair Club
Feelings
Scissors Paper Rock
ph
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dee ee
Mountain climber
citizen of planet Earth
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I'm going with "Boogers on a Lampshade."
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
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I think route names that memorialize the climbers/friends passed are always worthy -
This one was for you Dave:
Gunstone - 5.11c, Nason Ridge, Washington
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David Knopp
Trad climber
CA
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did someone say "Edging Skills or Hospital Bills?" in Toulumne?
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
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Yes, but Finger Locks or Cedar Box, Gunks has not yet been mentioned!
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Fritz
Trad climber
Hagerman, ID
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Obscure 1970's routes in Idaho that never appeared in a guidebook: thus we could have fun with names.
"Cretins corner" (loose, wet, & overhanging)
"Tap-dancer" (friction at our limit, 2nd try at FA was ended by a hail-storm)
"That Crack on the Salmon" Salmon river crag: FA party included a woman.
"Rawl Wall" Need I say more.
"Dream of White Sheep" Like the British Sea Cliff, and hey: "it gets lonely on those bivouacs."
The one that made it into the AAJ, was a new route on Elephant's Perch in the Sawtooths. I sent it in, and since it was such an elegant line: I named it "Pachydermial Pleasantries".
The name was deleted from the route discription in the subsequent AAJ. When I protestested, I was told: "If it isn't in the dictionary, it does not appear in the AAJ." Pacydermial did not cut it with the dictionary & AAJ blue-noises.
Donini: Can you fix that? Fritz
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Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
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Here's some politically incorrect route names to chew on;....
1. James Brown Celerity Hot Tub Party
2. Bitch, Bitch
3. The Leg Lifter
4. Bald Women with Power Tools
5. Orgasmatron
6. Reggie's Pimple
7. Women in Cages
8. Padded Handcuffs
9. Let's Eat Organ Meat
10. Drop your Drawers
11. Stains of the Stars
12. Into you like a Train
13. Kate's Bush
14. Whistling Sphincter
15. Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?
16. Black Plastic Streetwalker
17. Pocket Pussy
18. Unwiped Butt
19. Napkin of Shame
20. I'd Slap You but Sh#t Splatters
21. 13-year old Death Trap
22. Barfing at Zelda's
23. Horn Dog
24. Pig-in-Heat
25. Ravens Do Nasty Things To My Bottom
26. We Must, We Must, We Must Improve Our Bust
27. Limp Wristed Faggot
28. Jemiomagina
29. Tallus Phallus
30. Pit Slut
31. The Gash
32. Snnfchtt
33. Hhecht
34. Preparation H
35. Pussy Galore
36. If it's Brown, Flush It
37. Cough Up Phlem
38. Tube Steak
39. Poon
40. Tang
41. Butterfingers Make Me Horny
42. Chocolate is Better Than Sex
43. The Butt Buttress
44. Luminous Breast
45. Winds of Whoopee
46. Liquid Rats
47. When Sheep Ran Scared
48. Bearded Cabbage
49. Piss Crack
50. Brown Squeeze
51. Carolyn's Rump
52. The Wee-Wee
53. Come-N-Do-Me
54. Female Mud Massacre
55. Phineas P. Phart
56. Venucian Fece
57. Slippery When Wet
58. Pinch a Smelly Scrutinizer
59. Chicago Nipple Slump
60. Hot Legs Contest
61. Nereltne
62. Ass of Dog
63. Horny Corner
64. The Snatch
65. The Turd
66. Nuts are For Men Without Balls
67. Deep Throat
68. Team Scumbag
69. When You're Erect
70. South End of a Northbound Poodle
71. Full Frontal Nudity
72. Urine Trouble
73. Rich Bitch
74. Sh#t Sandwich
75. x-Rated Tits
76. Life's a Bitch and Then You Marry One
77. R.S. Chicken Choker
78. Cuddlebone
79. Buford's House of Liver
80. Speculum Scrapings
81. The Panty Shield
82. Eat What you Secret
83. Weenie Roast
84. Walt's Frozen Head
85. The Big Brown Eye
86. The Love Goat
87. Skin Tight Mouse House
88. Naked Nancy
89. Naked Reagan
90. Ronnie's Rump
91. Pink Thing
92. Homo Erectus
93. Kiss Me Where I Pee
94. The Slong
95. The Organ Grinder
96. Glue Rhymes With Poo
97. Soup Rhymes with Poop
98. Lil' Spuirt
99. Camp Whore
100. Adult Gerbles, $1.39
101. Up Chuck
102. Colon Blow
103. Boner Donor
104. Brush Your Teeth with Jesus
105. Raging Bull Dike
106. Sh#t Happens
107. Pull My Finger, Barbera
108. Barking Spyders
109. Hemoroidic Terror
110. Rings Around Uranus
111. Jessica's Crack
112. Brain Fart
113. Spank the Monkey
114. Black Nipple Fetish
115. No Nuts, No Huevos
116. Raker's Blaring Hat Rack
117. Killer Pussy
118. Teenage Enema
119. Al's First Erection
120. Middle Finger
121. Like My Lump
122. Software Sluts
123. We'll Get Them Little Pricks
124. Helicopter Memory Farts
125. Fissure Merde
126. The Tidy Bowl
127. Pelvic Thrust
128. In and Out
129. The Nipple
130. Hot Dog in a Bun
131. Puss Wuss
132. Brits in Drag
133. Bush Blows Chips
134. Fisting in Loveland
135. I'm Pregnant with Satan's Baby
136. Throbbing Gristle
137. Sh#t, It's a Brit
138. I Slept with L.K.
139. Hershey Highway
140. Flaring Offwidth from Hell
141. Does Royalty Give Head?
142. Dorothy Does the Wizard
143. Lesbian Lust
144. Till Death Do Us Fart
145. Kundalini-Linguini-Weenie
146. Love Comes In Spurts
147. Feminine Itch
148. Group Grope
149. Lung Butter
150. Rock Out With Your C*#k Out
151. Rat up Your Alley
152. The Woody
153. The Stiffy
154. Sphincter Quits
155. Badger's Choff Piece
156. The Ringwinker
157. Breaking Wind
158. Me Mum Sh#t the Bed
159. Squeeze One Out
160. Hairy Taco
161. Vanderklooster's Stinky Wet Pussy
162. Butt Funky
163. Bung Hole
164. Raunchy Bung
165. Got Toilet Paper?
166. It Doesn't Feel Like Toilet Paper
167. Crotch Putty
168. Shauna Grant
169. Sh#t for Brains
170. Hanging Turd of Babylon
171. Handygland
172. Nose Gobblin
173. A Dog in Heat is Hard to Beat
174. Karlis' White Ass
175. John's Giggly Bum Cheeks
176. Chicken Poop
177. Loaded Diaper
178. Leather Communtiy
179. Knob Cheese
180. Lubricated Goat
181. Busy Beaver
182. Manicured Bush
183. Possum'Pie
184. Weenie Juice
185. Unaboober
186. Weiner Dude
187. Shagadelic
188. Love Bubbles
189. Baby Pillows
190. Babaloos
191. Blitzo's Hairless Boy's Choir
192. Blow
193. Dos Chi Chis
194. Ben's Magic Weenie
195. Gourmet Sausage
196. Let's F*#k the Crack Whore
197. Cooter
198. We aim to Please, So Please Aim
199. Sants' Magic Lap
200. Chick's with Dicks
201. Hot Buttered Elves
202. The Backdoor Santa
203. Grab My Sac for a Toy
204. Dirty Wood
205. Dirty Pinch
206. Soapy Tit Wank
207. Stink Finger
208. Stink Steak
209. Bury the Pickle
210. Eat Me Volume 23
211. Pickle Me
212. John's Ginger Tuftis
213. Dik Dik
214. Amatuer Sheep Shagger
215. The Devil's Butthole
216. Reach Around Cop
217. Copulator
218. Bad Cop, No Donut
219. Wifebeater
220. Ringstinger
221. Puto De Yo Yo
222. Sheep Shover
223. Cling Tenatiously to my Buttocks
224. Pink Dolphin
225. Pillow Biter
226. Blaat
227. Saving Ryan's Privates
228. Fuzz Bumper
229. Love Gas
230. Marsupial Lust
231. Riding the Cotton Pony
232. Kill Them All, Let God Sort Them Out
233. Whores of Babylon
234. A Dog in the Ass
235. I Love Animals, They Taste Good
236. No Glove, No Love
237. Jelly on Springs
238. The Booger Man
239. The Nuptial Sac
240. A Bull With Gas
241. Udi
242. Little Man in the Boat
243. Ho Bag
244. Tie Your Mother Down
245. I Pee in Pools
246. Abby the Scabby Tabby
247. Ass Gasket
248. Iranian Party Hat
249. steamy Sluts and Farm Animals
250. Gynogroove
251. Sex Farm Woman
252. Muff Divers
253. Oral Sex Bozeman
254. Happy Helmet
255. Head Room
256. Pork Circus
257. Strike a Bitch
258. Granny's Chin
259. Monkey Spunk
260. Fake Hair, Plastic Tits, Penis Enlargement
261. Mr. Happy Gets Hard
262. Mr. Hard Gets Happy
263. Vagina
264. She's A Groaner
265. Halloweenis
266. Mike Hunt
267. Keep the Worm Firm
268. How Deep is Ben's Love
269. Ben Gay
270. White Torpedo
271. Never Shake A Baby
272. Hey McCleod, Get Off of My Ewe
273. Charleton Heston is My President
274. Thigh Master
275. Get Off My S* ister
276. Ass of Dog
277. The Snatch
278. What was Raymond Doing With His Hands?
279. Homowack
280. Unwashed Lederhosen
281. Sh#t Happens
282. Hellraiser
283. Jessica's Crack
284. Butt Pirate Buttress
285. Hiding in Todd's Uterus
286. Nebraskan Rump Rangers
287. Chongos' Love Child
288. Cactus Pricks
289. Jack Meoff
290. Ben Dover
291. Little Fireman
292. Pooper Scooper
293. Girl on Top of Me
294. Some Crazy Shithead Who Thinks He's Jesus
295. Burn in Hell
296. Eat Bertha's Muscles
297. Flatulence Flake
298. Miss Laid
299. Weasles on Drug Climbed Up My Bunghole
300. Assweasle do you really want to see more?
301. I Blew My Hole
302. Bearded Oyster
303. Poodlephile
304. Sheep Ass
305. Squat and Gobble
306. Pissing on Myself
307. Shave Your Bump
308. Cobra Cunnilingus
309. Who Cut the Cheese?
310. Monster in My Pocket
311. Dorothy's Getting Her Tit's Pierced
312. Weenis De Milo
313. Farting Horse
314. Honeybucket
315. Mucus Lover
316. Peckerwood
317. Have a White One
318. The Wet Spot
319. Chossy Arse
320. Yank-My-Doodle
321. A Nice Pair
322. Father Mahoney and the Porno Priests
323. Penis Point-Peyronie's Disease
324. Queer Unpleasant Ranger
325. Ass End
326. Vaginal Discharge
327. Golden Shower
328. Wound That Never Heals
329. Polish the Helmet
330. Penis Envy
331. Condom Leave a Rice
332. Colon Bowel
333. Artificial Orifice
334. Vaginal Insertion
335. Reconstituted Bush
336. The Strange Obsession of Dr. Von Cosen
337. Ben's Winking Stinkhole
338. Ben's Anus is More Famous Than Amos
339. Shake Your Wood
340. Hard Wood
341. Soft Wood
342. Creamy Brown Ranger
343. Hershey Squirts
344. Dishonorable Discharge
345. Candyass
346. Explosive Diarrhea
347. Vomit
348. Pumping Freddy
349. Famous Anus
350. Murphy's Peter
351. Freddy Mercury's Butt Crack
352. Licking Librace's Crotchie
353. Daniel's Ass
354. Princest
355. OK, Sperm Whales, Hit the Deck
356. Smell of Female
357. Fist Tucker
358. Butt Shot
359. Bend Over, I'll Drive
360. Two Headed Sex Change
361. Crotch Winkle
362. Young Ben Loves Men
363. Big Ben
364. Amy's Roving Pap Mobile
365. What Ate My Puke
366. Crap
367. The Scab that Fills the Ladle
368. Anal Leakage
369. Bus Driver's Uterus
370. In the Butt
371. Spunky Boobster
372. Chesty Gordon
373. Butt Action Direct
374. Bloody Ass
375. Butt Buddy
376. Mangina
377. Oops; The Condom Broke
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MisterE
Trad climber
One Step Beyond!
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and that, my friends, is a wrap
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Gary
climber
Desolation Basin, Calif.
|
|
No, it's not. He left out Black Harlot's Layaway
|
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WBraun
climber
|
|
How about "Knew Root"
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
|
|
Todd forgot Squamish's "Negro Lesbian". We have a few other rude ones, too. Adolescent males...
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AndySan Diego
Trad climber
San Diego, CA
|
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Pirates of the Carabineer
Quaking Has Been
X-Rated Tits
An Eye for an Eye & A Route For A Route.
Pinch a Smelly Scrutinizer
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Jello
Social climber
No Ut
|
|
In honor of Charlie, as quoted in the OP: Two fine climbs on a fine mountain. Black Elk, and Feather Buttress on Warbonnet.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
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Topic Author's Reply - Apr 3, 2009 - 02:40pm PT
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OK, totally dwarfed by Gordon's veritable deluvium.
But here are a few more;
TOUCHSTONE WALL
LEOPARD SKIN SLAB
IMMACULATE SEDUCTION
MIDNIGHT RIDER (on the Witch)
CLIMB AGAINST NATURE
MASTERBLASTER
GOD, GUNS, & GUTS
ACROMANIAC (renamed by Potter? WTF!?)
DREAM OF DEAD HORSES (Is it a Cruise?)
JAM FOR YOUR LIFE
PETTICOAT GUMPTION
CLASS MONITOR (on Monitor Butte)
MERRYMAKERS ROUTE (on Merrimac Butte)
A THOUSAND PINTS OF LITE (more jugs than you can use and an old bush)
and last but not least the R rated runout buttress of
FULL METAL JOCKSTRAP
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wildone
climber
GHOST TOWN
|
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"Nighty-night, bitch"
|
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Jim Leininger
Trad climber
tucson, az
|
|
Hugh G Rection at the Pinnacles???
|
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MUR
climber
A little to the left of right
|
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Chicken Eruptus, Frictiony Face Panty Waste.
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Gene
climber
|
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"But for the Grace of Claude"
"I'm in it for the Monet"
Route names made up by an impressionistic friend.
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Gagner
climber
Boulder
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Of course some of my Pinnacles routes:)
Heat Seeking Moisture Missle
Wrinkle Remover
Even Coyotes Like it Doggie Style
Murky Bong Water
Blowing Chunks
Mr. Hugh G. Rection
Furry Marmot Substitute
Aliens Ate my Buick
Bits 'n Pieces
Paul
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
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|
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 10, 2009 - 03:51pm PT
|
How could I have forgotten;
Hoosier Daddy
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mucci
Trad climber
sf ca
|
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|
Apr 10, 2009 - 04:27pm PT
|
"Underage Ranger Danger" destined to obscurity at the Leap.
My personal favorite: "Pork over Baghdad"
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
|
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|
Apr 12, 2009 - 11:21pm PT
|
My Pink Half of the Drain Pipe
And the uber classic:
Right Crack
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dogtown
climber
Cheyenne,Wyoming
|
|
|
Apr 12, 2009 - 11:53pm PT
|
Chicken on a chain.Or Dope on a rope.
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BillO
Boulder climber
Whittier, CA
|
|
3 bolts and 3 climbers the name says it all
Deep, Shallow and Twisted
|
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old toad
Trad climber
yosemite, Ca.
|
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Crack-a-go-go, or as the locals say, Crack-a-no pro. Yes on the lead you need to go-go...
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Nate D
climber
San Francisco
|
|
I'm not that old or stodgy, but I'm with you Warbler - I've never liked the teenage giggle giggle crude and irreverent names. I'd like to think the majority of climbers and FAists are a bit more mature.
I'm partial to the wordplays like:
All Chalk and No Action
Where there's a Drill there's a Way
The Face that Launched a Thousand Slips
Mowing the Yawn
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Inner City
Trad climber
East Bay
|
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how bout somethin simple like.....'The Line'....always is one!
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The Doctor
Social climber
Da Bronx
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Way Homo Sperm Burpers from Fresno- Yosemite
DROHASCADAMFUBAST(Dirty rotten hard scary damn f'in bastard-DaGunks
Go Drown in a Lake of Diet Coke, F*cker- Indian Creek
Just Do It!- Smith
Screaming Besengi- Sedona
Womb With a View-Sedona
Tip Toe Through the Two Lips-Sedona
Lucky Goes to the Creamery- Sedona
Jews on Crack- Indian Creek
Slap My Fro!- Winslow AZ
Earnest Young Minnesotans in Male Awareness Bonding Clinics-Flagstaff
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
|
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Personally, I'm with Kevin on being old and stodgy enough to prefer names like the classics he mentioned at the top of this page.
But... Okay, I admit it... sometimes you just...
Anyway, there's a route at Squamish named: "Teenage Girls Don't Blow Gorbies"
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m.c.cold
climber
Tennessee
|
|
Magical Chrome Plated Semi-Automatic Enema Syringe
(Lumpy Ridge)
How could you guys miss this one?
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dogtown
climber
Cheyenne,Wyoming
|
|
It’s unthinkable ! love the Ridge.
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fosburg
climber
|
|
Shipley told me he wanted to find the perfect route to name, Mind Control to Major Ground. I like that one though I don't think it ever got used.
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|
Decko
Trad climber
Colorado
|
|
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.......
J-Tree
|
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nyberg_fredrik
Trad climber
Umeaa, Sweden
|
|
In Norway there is a 10 meters long aid-route called Institute of theoretical big-wall climbing.
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noshoesnoshirt
climber
dangling off a wind turbine in a town near you
|
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Fun Times in the Hottub
(I can't take credit for it, it was a Spoonerism that slipped from a friend's mouth)
edit (I'm an idiot): Hot Times in the Funtub
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mec
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
|
May 11, 2009 - 10:35am PT
|
Who Put the Purr in my Pussy
Index, WA
|
|
Studly
Trad climber
WA
|
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|
May 11, 2009 - 11:50am PT
|
Just Say No.
Its a route at City of Rocks in Idaho. We didn't even pay any attention to the name before we got on it. Its just a 5.9, bolted sport climb, right? No worries....ha! anyone done it?
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Dropline
Mountain climber
Somewhere Up There
|
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|
May 11, 2009 - 12:16pm PT
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"Tits Like Orange Fireballs" at The Gunks
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NFB
Mountain climber
SLC UT
|
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|
May 13, 2009 - 04:13pm PT
|
Good route names:
Lucifer's Ladder, Angels landing, Klaus Shock
Dark Side of the Moon (moonlight buttress, another Klaus route)
Prodigal Sun, Ron
Birdbeak spire, Deuce
Mostly American, Angels landing, next to Swiss American, named for 3 of 4 climbers being yankee, the latter was a Kiwi
Run Don't Walk, Mt. Owen
"Pow right in the rat", Joe French/Nate Brown quoted from Bulous Ayad
Infinite Spur
Fallout (Cedar City) named for the nice dust we roll in on bivi ledges in Southern Utah
Spooky Face, a scary ski line on Nez Perce (tetons) that looks like the Misfits Skull
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BoKu
Trad climber
Douglas Flat, CA
|
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May 13, 2009 - 04:42pm PT
|
At phantom spires I think I recall that there's a route called Anal Sex. Which isn't that special, except that there's a citation in the SuperTopo guide that says something like "Climbers who enjoy the Regular Route may wish to finish with Anal Sex."
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scotte
Trad climber
nathrop, colorado
|
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|
May 13, 2009 - 09:57pm PT
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MAN FROM SOFA
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Rocky5000
Trad climber
Falls Church, VA
|
|
|
May 14, 2009 - 12:11am PT
|
Some classy route names from Old Rag, Virginia:
Welcome to Sick Bay
Duckwalk
Scared Seamless
The Eagle's Gift
Toothe'n'Nail
Leisure Suit Larry
Double Secret Probation
Autumn Harvest
All with old stories attached, of course.
I'm with the other old farts - scatology loses its humor all too soon, like the pale fragrance of youth, and, of course, broken hearts are for as#@&%es. Hey - that would be a good one.
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slobmonster
Trad climber
berkeley, ca
|
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|
May 14, 2009 - 12:41am PT
|
"At Your Cervix," great little route @ Indian Creek. Chris-Ann Crysdale has had a (large) number of well-named FAs there.
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Melissa
Gym climber
berkeley, ca
|
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|
May 14, 2009 - 12:47am PT
|
That tower of white sand outside of Capitol Reef that those guys called "Sugar Daddy" has to at least make the long list.
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Evel
Trad climber
the cliffs of insanity
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|
May 14, 2009 - 01:24am PT
|
Well, Bar Gash is one
Then their's Manufractured, which I didn't name, but rather was the maker .
Seems as though I've done too many memorial routes.................
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
|
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|
May 14, 2009 - 01:49am PT
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40 Days of Rain
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|
chainsaw
Trad climber
CA
|
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May 14, 2009 - 12:59pm PT
|
My favorite unpublished route name is "Caffeine Doodle-do on My Cock" down in the Owens gorge. It is on the coffee cliff and was named by a friend of mine about 9 years ago. This same genius also named a boulder problem "Idiosynchronicity," at the leap last year. Also new V-10 there on the top out of Surrealistic Pillar called "The Cubist," on "The Tetris Boulder," which I call "Picasso Rock." And then we set "Snail on a Razor," and the sit start called "The Snail."
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ddriver
Trad climber
SLC, UT
|
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|
May 14, 2009 - 02:14pm PT
|
Tanks for the Mammaries
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|
gunsmoke
Trad climber
Clackamas, Oregon
|
|
|
May 14, 2009 - 04:03pm PT
|
I've regarded the Yosemite squeeze chimney 10.96 as the all-time classic name.
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|
mooch
Big Wall climber
The Immaculate Conception
|
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|
May 14, 2009 - 04:49pm PT
|
Piece d'Renee's Sauce (.10c), A-Hills
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richross
Trad climber
|
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|
May 14, 2009 - 04:56pm PT
|
Gunks,Graveyard Shift.
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Dick Danger
Trad climber
Lakewood, Colorado
|
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|
May 14, 2009 - 05:02pm PT
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"unknown"
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Darryl Cramer
Social climber
|
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|
May 14, 2009 - 07:43pm PT
|
Lots of good names in this thread but the winner is: The Lawn Rake.
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eeyonkee
Trad climber
Golden, CO
|
|
|
May 14, 2009 - 09:48pm PT
|
I don't remember if I already said his earlier in this thread...since it keeps popping up from time to time - but I've always liked Ken Trout and Peter Prandoni's Coffee Achievers on the Black Wall at Mt Evans, CO.
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pmonks
climber
|
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|
May 22, 2009 - 12:05am PT
|
"Dead Americans" at Mt Arapiles. Description from the old guidebook: "There should be more of these."
;-)
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Bob Palais
Trad climber
UT
|
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|
May 22, 2009 - 02:19pm PT
|
Great Topic! Good call Clint on the original Cunning Stunt, Jim Erickson and Cindy Stanley route. And the pic of Graveyard shift begs the reference to the route next to it, much earlier on the McCarthy wall, "Tough Shift!" That's a great route name! Another Gunks favorite: "Rubble without a cause". Crack of Bizarre Delights, the roof below Sky Top visible from the freeway.
Someday I want to do a long route in the Sierras and call it
"INYO FACE!" And when times get rough, Jim Dunn and I are going to do a Black Canyon route, "Down and Out". :-)
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John Vawter
Social climber
San Diego
|
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|
May 22, 2009 - 02:37pm PT
|
The Quack of Ducks.
Above and to the right of the Crack of Dust at Mission Gorge.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
|
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|
May 22, 2009 - 03:53pm PT
|
Tongue In Cheek at Leavenworth
A pure quartz dike
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Brian Hench
Trad climber
Laguna Beach, CA
|
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|
May 22, 2009 - 05:38pm PT
|
"Seven Virgins and a Mule".
"Crossing the Delaware with your Pants Down", next to "George and Martha", Frenchman's Coulee, Washington (near George, WA former location of Martha's Inn.
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brett
climber
oregon
|
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Fissuremen
|
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Iron Mtn.
Trad climber
Corona, Ca.
|
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Someone You're Not-Suicide
|
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sweetness
Trad climber
Sacramento sucks
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you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish -RRG
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Srbphoto
Trad climber
Kennewick wa
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Figures on a Landscape JT
Jam Crack
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Ezra
Social climber
WA, NC, Idaho Falls
|
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You Bet your life
Nailin Palin (good for an aid route, haven't seen it in print yet)
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dogtown
climber
Cheyenne,Wyoming
|
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Dope on a Rope with the Bruce Proof Roof, finish.
This route is at every crag I have ever climbed. Still haven’t done it , The funny thing is it’s always 5.9 HA .HA. HA ( sh#t )
Dog.
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Largo
Sport climber
Venice, Ca
|
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Man, these two (mentioned above) are all time:
I'm Having Satin's Baby
What was Lawrence Doing with his Hands?
JL
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|
dogtown
climber
Cheyenne,Wyoming
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What John, You didn’t dig my route Chicken on a chain ? LOL.
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Grahm Doe
Sport climber
Oakhurst, CA
|
|
Shuteye -
Hot black dike
Give us the beta now f**k off
Horny on the roof
Crystalis
Turkey Vulture
Shape Shifter
Swing Town
Gravity pool
Bandito Burrito
Summit Fever
Three Feathers
Big banana
Grey ham and chicken heads
Frustration Creek -
Skinned alive
Eviseration
Dismembered
Good girls shave twice
Liquid gold
Assault and battered
Mud tongue
Guillotine
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jopay
climber
so.il
|
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|
Aug 10, 2009 - 10:40am PT
|
"A Steep Climb Named Desire" Donner Summit I believe
|
|
Setageus
Trad climber
East Bay San Fransisco
|
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|
Aug 10, 2009 - 11:10am PT
|
Lunatic Fringe - Yosemite
On the Edge of Absurdity - Yosemite
Storming the Castle - Shuteye
Way Homo Sperm Burpers from Fresno - Yosemite
You Have Been Nothing But Trouble Since the First Day I Laid Eyes on You; You are Like a Thorn in My Side; I Don't Know from One Day to the Next What Stupid Lame Brain Stunt You're Gonna Pull; Now Get Out of Here, Get Out of My Office, Get Out of My Life, Once and For All, Get Out Out Out Out! - Gorgeous Towers, Upper Owens River Gorge
Angry Natives - Yosemite (anthill in a hummock?)
Hardd - Yosemite
And many more...
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Boymeetsrock
Trad climber
the east
|
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|
Aug 10, 2009 - 11:12am PT
|
Don't think I saw:
Catharsis - (my all time fav route name)
One Blunder and its Six Feet Under - Gunks
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mooch
Big Wall climber
The Immaculate Conception
|
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|
Aug 10, 2009 - 12:56pm PT
|
'This Pussy Eats You' (Courtright)
Grahm -
Didn't you mean 'Burrito Bandito'?
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|
Bad Climber
climber
|
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|
Aug 10, 2009 - 06:40pm PT
|
Did anyone post:
Penguins in Bondage?
BaD
|
|
Blitzo
Social climber
Earth
|
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|
Aug 10, 2009 - 08:00pm PT
|
Anus Great, Motor Homes for Midgets, Jesus on a Stick, if they haven't been posted yet.
I have not waded through this thread yet.
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|
Studly
Trad climber
WA
|
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|
Aug 10, 2009 - 08:17pm PT
|
Unimpeachable Groping
|
|
the Fet
Supercaliyosemistic climber
Tu-Tok-A-Nu-La
|
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|
Aug 10, 2009 - 08:20pm PT
|
One time I asked Royal Robbins about "The Dawn Wall".
He replied "No, no. Warren named it The Wall of Early Morning Light. That's such a grand and beautiful name, it's a shame to call it the Dawn Wall."
I've called it The Wall of Early Morning Light ever since.
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kinnikinik
Trad climber
b.c.c
|
|
|
Aug 10, 2009 - 09:12pm PT
|
"RACKNAPHOBIA" a multipitch sportroute
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Ed Bannister
Mountain climber
Riverside, CA
|
|
|
Aug 10, 2009 - 09:22pm PT
|
forget what i wrote before...
Baby Apes
|
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Rich the Brit
Trad climber
San Ramon, CA
|
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|
Aug 11, 2009 - 01:57am PT
|
As someone also said, I like the play on more famous route names, or even the interplay of routes names on a single crag:
The Wall of Early Morning Fright - somewhere in Sequoia
Catch a Falling Star; Catch a Falling Car; and Catch Me in the Bar - JT classics
Moosedog Tower - JT feature named after its slightly larger cousin in Pakistan
My Derbyshire Gritsone favorite - Arnold Schwarzenegger Stole My Body
Now I also have a name, that is without a route. I have been saving it up for a special FA:
It's Sh#t, But I Climbed It First!
Rich
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|
mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
|
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|
Aug 11, 2009 - 02:31am PT
|
Slab Hog Millionare
|
|
Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
|
|
|
Aug 11, 2009 - 09:42am PT
|
Bitch Muscle
|
|
susu
Trad climber
East Bay, CA
|
|
|
Aug 11, 2009 - 11:10am PT
|
Sons of Yesterday
|
|
mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
|
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|
Aug 11, 2009 - 08:40pm PT
|
"Cage Match"- Shuteye
Looks brutal and on the FA, the leader appeared to have gone many rounds with a Gracie brother!
Classic!
|
|
seamus mcshane
climber
|
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|
Aug 14, 2009 - 09:52am PT
|
Hurricane Jingus Clusterf*#k 2000.
|
|
Barbarian
Trad climber
slowly dying in the OC
|
|
|
Aug 14, 2009 - 12:13pm PT
|
"Fear, Loathing , and lost wages".
|
|
Barbarian
Trad climber
slowly dying in the OC
|
|
|
Aug 14, 2009 - 12:14pm PT
|
Too late, Rich. I already climbed that one!
|
|
Ed Bannister
Mountain climber
Riverside, CA
|
|
|
Aug 14, 2009 - 12:41pm PT
|
JT routename lore:
Leavitt climbs to the top of the route to find a perfect bathtub size basin of clear water. This must be cleanliness,
and, that (the yet to be named route next to it) must be Godliness, because everyone knows Cleanliness is next to Godliness.
The Hand takes Kevin Thaw for his first encounter with Joshua Tree, enrote that evening they stopped at the boom boom room,
where Kevin encountered a female most attracted to him. Next days Route, Small Town Big Girls.
Randy should tell about Slater's preoccupation.
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|
philo
Trad climber
boulder, co.
|
|
|
Aug 14, 2009 - 01:04pm PT
|
The Plunge - Black Canyon
Hallucinogen - Black Canyon
Diagonal Will - Black Canyon
Three Pygmies In Bondage - Black Canyon.
Super Colon Blow - Taylor Canyon
Needs A Bolt - Taylor Canyon
I Can't Believe It's a Girdle - Joshua Tree
Cheeses of Nazareth - Kinney Peaks
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|
Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
|
|
|
Aug 14, 2009 - 01:37pm PT
|
if you put up a quality wide crack,
you have my permission to dub it..
"humping the leg of freedom"
|
|
Gobee
Trad climber
Los Angeles
|
|
Axis Bolt As Love
|
|
YetAnotherDave
Trad climber
Vancouver, BC
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Mr Rogers smokes a fat one (Lake Louise)
Cream of white mice (squamish - thanks Tami)
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originalpmac
Trad climber
Ouray, CO
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tighter then a ten year old
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Rhodo-Router
Gym climber
Camper is packed and ready to go
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OK pmac, hope that one wasn't your route name.
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Gobee
Trad climber
Los Angeles
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"Fire On The Mountain" On Power Dome, at Courtwrigrt Resesvoir
FA with Fred Ziel, there was a fire in the area, it's a Dead song, for the climbing, and...
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nevahpopsoff
Boulder climber
the woods
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Tits Out for the Lads, Owens, I think.
Armed, Dangerous, and Off My Medication, Rumney
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Simmeron
Trad climber
Tahoe
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"Wall of Early Morning Light" and at the other end of the spectrum "Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?" in J-Tree which provides a little more info about the FA team than I may care to know.
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Gobee
Trad climber
Los Angeles
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Cranky Crack
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divad
Trad climber
wmass
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Itty Bitty Titty Committee, Tensleep
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Curt
Boulder climber
Gilbert, AZ
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Romancing the Stone
Curt
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coastal_climber
Trad climber
British Columbia
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"Swollen Ovaries" and "Shrunken Testicles"
Two climbs right next to each other
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Prezwoodz
Big Wall climber
Anchorage
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I think my favorite was something I saw in an Australia climbing guide and two climbs side by side.
"These people are Sandwiches"
then
"These Sandwiches are Excellent"
There is also a route in Hatcher Pass called The Tax Man Cometh and then an exit climb from the cliff which we are hoping to go put up this month which will be named The Tax Man Taketh Away
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goodwill
Trad climber
Los Angeles, CA
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Sep 10, 2009 - 08:33pm PT
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Ron, with all the Zion routes, I can't believe you haven't mentioned Lovelace (which, if I remember correctly, was named for a certain formation that was reminiscent of its namesake's infamous movie of the 1970's).
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AP
Trad climber
Calgary
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Sep 11, 2009 - 02:49pm PT
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Squamish: Local Boys do Good
Next to it is Local Girls are Bad
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BrianH
Trad climber
santa fe
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Sep 11, 2009 - 03:08pm PT
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Cowboy Bob's Chicken Head Delight Tres Piedras NM
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virginiapine
Trad climber
Charlottesville, Virginia
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Sep 11, 2009 - 06:23pm PT
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"Little Slot of Horrors", Old Rag Mtn, Virginia - leaning squeeze chimney on Upper Sunset Wall...
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Pappy
Ice climber
Warren, VT
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Sep 11, 2009 - 08:55pm PT
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"Float Like a Butterfly, Land Like a Tomato' ice climb at Willoughby.
A few that I came up with for our efforts:
A super classic overhanging hand crack where there ain't many that Sporty wanted to name for a recent ex must be: 'Five Star Sex' Lost Wall, GA
A razor sharp arete that seemingly can't be climbed without extreme body tension and profuse profanity: 'T'Arete's Syndrome' Burnett Point
What to call a two pitch direct finish (sporting one meager bolt) to a climb called 'New Perversions'? 'Dirty Dykes Done Dirt Cheap' Whitesides, NC
And finally, after improbably floating through an impossible looking line we named it for fluid of supposedly magical powers secreted by an ex-Southern multiple World Cup champion: 'RCJ' I ain't gonna spell it out even on Super Taco.
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General Ripper
climber
GnarthWest
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Sep 11, 2009 - 08:58pm PT
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"Conan the Librarian."
Sorry if someone already mentioned it.
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Brendan
Trad climber
Yosemite, CA
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Sep 12, 2009 - 12:36am PT
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Sperm burpers from fresno
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mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
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Sep 12, 2009 - 12:45am PT
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Poultry in Motion
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Gobee
Trad climber
Los Angeles
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Sep 13, 2009 - 01:45am PT
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"Crank and Pull"
next to
"Pull and Crank"
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Gobee
Trad climber
Los Angeles
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Sep 16, 2009 - 09:08pm PT
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"CRACKER"
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DrDeeg
Mountain climber
Mammoth Lakes, CA
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Sep 19, 2009 - 08:36pm PT
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Norman Clyde once said that North Palisade was the Sierra peak most worthy of its name.
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WyoRockMan
climber
Flank of the Big Horns
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Feb 12, 2015 - 01:35pm PT
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While the crass names are A-OK in my book, my faves are usually plays on words, witty memorials or just a bit more clever than most.
-Buster Cattlefield (DT)
-Billie Bear Cranks the Rad (DT)
-Summer of Our Discount Tent (Bridgers, MT)
-Blotter is My Spotter (DT)
-Der Fruh Lowe (Gallatin Canyon)
-Shackling the Masses with Drastic Rap Tactics (TRC)
-Nantucket Sleighride (CSP)
-Sandberg Peak (CSP) (Not a route, per se, but a great name for a (not a) peak)
-Wife Sentence (Rushmore)
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Sierra Ledge Rat
Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
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Feb 12, 2015 - 01:47pm PT
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We need to ask a Brit, they probably have the best names
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Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
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Feb 12, 2015 - 02:20pm PT
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It's Always Something
Corner's Report
Sirocco
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snyd
Sport climber
Lexington, KY
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Feb 12, 2015 - 04:34pm PT
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Sector: The Locker Room
named after infamous Penn State assistant football coach
Tight End
Shower Head
Rhythmic Slapping
Bengay
Icy Hot
Gym Bag
Swirly
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Onewhowalksonrocks
Mountain climber
Ventura
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Feb 12, 2015 - 05:32pm PT
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My Pink Half of the Drain Pipe, Suicide Rock, Idyllwild Ca
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mtnyoung
Trad climber
Twain Harte, California
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Feb 12, 2015 - 05:59pm PT
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A recent favorite Pinnacles name (given by Clink, who posts here):
Joaquin the Dog
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EdwardT
Trad climber
Retired
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Feb 12, 2015 - 06:03pm PT
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Titties and Beer
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thebravecowboy
climber
just banana-jam it
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Feb 12, 2015 - 06:46pm PT
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Psycho Tower, Psycho-path, C. Fowler and Co.
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KabalaArch
Trad climber
Starlite, California
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Feb 12, 2015 - 09:59pm PT
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Hmm...great Thread...
Wonder if future anthropologists would benefit more, though, if 50 Classic Route Names were in categories...as in “Walls”; "long multi-pitch Trad”; “Sport,” etc. And by climbing area, naturally.
Just a simple review of the Valley FA index shows trends which seem to be the children of their times, like, say, “Kor – Beck” and other examples of proud efforts named for, and by, their first ascentionists, and this leaves a lingering taste of an authenticity and, I guess, a bit of a classic Alpinistic tradition. In this day and age, a route named in this vein had better be a true testpiece with enduring qualities and indisputable bragging rights - “Bachar – Yerian” probably won't lose its rep for quite some time to come. Actually hard to think of a superior route name for this watershed team effort.
Graveyard humor, Big Wall: “Abstract Expressionism” on the Captain. “Tribal Rites,” and “The Shortest Straw” convey situational irony.
It seems that scatological route names began to crop up on the short one pitch Valley routes established in the late 80s and through the 90s, over on the Arches slabs in particular. No offense taken when assigned to contemporary Sport climbs, but this category always seemed a bit vulgar for places like Yosemite and Moab.
In truly unique environments like these the originality and the character of place names speaks to the timelessness from which adventures are carved. Moses. Each of the Fisher Towers: The Oracle; Titan; Echo; Cottontail; Kingfisher.
Another vote for our “Central Pillar of Frenzy,” irreverence Yos style.
Or the way some names have evolved over time. “Black Rose of Death” soon became “Black Primo” (“because it's sooo good!” I was informed: "it's so killer!" As evidenced by the long line which routinely queues at its start, right?)
Up Forum I once ventured to ask Roger Breedlove the origins of the neighboring “Freewheeling.” Never did get a straight answer, just some comments concerning flywheels which move at a greater velocity than the driveshaft. Since that's the general feel of the climb, the clarification is as good as any.
It's important to remember to never judge a book by its cover. But IME seemed like some of the best climbing was found on routes with awesomely descriptive names. Like a few climbers upthread, I probably sound old fashioned in matters of personal tastes and mental hygiene.
This has unquestionably left what God only knows might be spectacular lines off the olde tick list - for all I know, these routes may have been named with hella gross appellations to keep the traffic down on them?
Also, one of my all time best partners has been my daughter:
Still is, matter of fact. "Monday Morning Right Side" (well named lol) age of 8? - she was a natural. Living very close to the 'Milks meant she and some of her high school friends would head out with shoes | chalkbag after school.
The Gorge, and all of the other Eastside Sport venues right at hand, plus the backcountry, gave us lots of great weekends (picked her up from HS Wednesday of the Thanksgiving holiday; remember her casually traipsing down the Middle Gorge approach in like 3 inch platform heels; spur of the moment idea to head on in and beat the weekend crowds type deal). Including a few Spring Break days up at Smith the following season - good times.
College and quite a few good years working in SF | LA until a local position opened up, enabling she and her cool husband to return home, and to work within their respective professions. So now as her husband learns the ropes, she's working up to trad lead.
I digress, but if I can't bring up the name of a proposed ascent in mixed company, much less brag about it around the campfire, well, there seems to be no shortage of alternative climbing options out here.
Carry on...
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Andy Fielding
Trad climber
UK
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Feb 13, 2015 - 04:28pm PT
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Here's some from this side of the pond
Every Cormorant is a Potential Shag
Darkinbad the Brightdayler
Conan the Librarian
Careless Torque
Subterranean Rabbit Launcher
Snivelling Shits
Neutrons for Old
Mohammed the Mad Monk of Moorside Home for Mental Misfits
Wakey! Wakey! Hands off Snakey!
...and finally
Clive Coolhead Realises the Excitement of Knowing You May be the Author of Your Own Death is More Intense Than Orgasm
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mucci
Trad climber
The pitch of Bagalaar above you
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Feb 13, 2015 - 07:11pm PT
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Turdlockenstan
Babies on fire
Bovine diddle technician
The road to Bagalaar
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Norwegian
Trad climber
dancin on the tip of god's middle finger
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Feb 13, 2015 - 07:17pm PT
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shite creek.
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thebravecowboy
climber
just banana-jam it
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Feb 13, 2015 - 07:23pm PT
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Ten cheers fir the little cowboy upthread!
Journey through Gwondonaland
[sic?]
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nature
climber
Boulder, CO
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Feb 14, 2015 - 08:17am PT
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Mulva - 11b
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drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
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Feb 14, 2015 - 08:31am PT
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Rosie Palm
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KabalaArch
Trad climber
Starlite, California
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Feb 14, 2015 - 12:04pm PT
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Just to set the record straight, Kabala, I named Freewheelin, and since you're curious why, I'll tell ya. It's the name of an early Dylan album which I particularly like. Girl from the North Country, Masters of War, Blowin in the Wind and other solid classics. But more than that, the name captures a feeling of the era which probably can't be explained to someone who didn't grow up in the sixties and didn't live in Camp 4 in the early seventies. The route was the first on MCRs North Apron, and climbing it was stepping out of the box in many beautiful ways. No ties - Freewheelin.
As to Black Primo, I named that too. It was never named Black Rose of Death. Meyers put it in his first topo book as Black Rose, a name I considered but didn't use, I think because he didn't want to be associated with the drug reference. He was on the FA with Largo and I. George was never much of a stoner and came from a fairly conservative background.
And there might not be a line at its base, but that says zippo about the quality of the route. It is excellent - hard, continuous, superb rock, tricky cruxes, runout. The best line on the North Face Apron. No line at the base of Southern Belle either, or many of the Valley's truly best and boldest routes, for that matter.
Clint and Kevin-
Thanks for some clarification re the name origins of routes famous enough to become both climbing folklore and urban legend.
Yes, Kevin, I was being very factious in the reference to the non-existent lines at the base of “Black Primo,” of course.
If all of the routes on MCR North Apron are gemstones, Black Primo is the diamond.
The armchair geologist in me has noted that the diorite intrusion of Black Primo appears to have a strong geomorphic correlation with the intrusion that defines the NA Wall. Other small diorite intrusions are scattered here and there across The Apron, and to crimp on these perfect square cuts, with the appearance and the texture of, say, 600 grit wet-or-dry sandpaper, is to experience the best of both bull's eye edging, and friction climbing.
I'd plotted and schemed for many many years to plant my flag high on Black Primo. Like all of the other contenders (I think I've witnessed one attempt in 40 years), the protection prospect above the false belay halfway up the 1st pitch was just too bleak to attempt at that, or at any other, time.
Hats off to the pioneers of MCR North Apron! “The Times, they are a-changing” resulted in what can be arguably the finest face climbs anywhere, established and protected with exceptionally pure practices. Just imagine coming across virgin Valley territory, on this scale, in the early 70's; relatively late in the game. But then again, the routes which came to be established represent all that is the finest about Valley ethics. And the climbers of the years before had enough sense (or, since they were of the Big Wall generation, a simple lack of interest) to leave most all of Middle Cathedral alone, until it could be approached on its own terms.
Thanks for your replies!
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eeyonkee
Trad climber
Golden, CO
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Feb 14, 2015 - 12:33pm PT
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Like it, Warbler. I wish I'd a said that.
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TRo
climber
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Feb 14, 2015 - 06:54pm PT
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Could have been called Manufactured as well.
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Roger Breedlove
climber
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
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Feb 14, 2015 - 08:11pm PT
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The names for the first two route on the North Face Apron, Freewheeling and Quicksilver, are just about as evocative as they come. I had nothing to do with the naming, just climbing on what became Freewheeling.
Kevin points to Dylan's album name as the source, but freewheels originally referred to a wheel running faster than the drive mechanism. In the original bicycles, there was no clutch mechanism between the cranks and the wheels, so if you were going down hill the wheel could turn the cranks faster than the rider could keep up. This occurs in manual transmission drive trains when you turn off the engine and don't engage the clutch. This will ruin a two cycle engine that depends on the oil in the fuel to lubricate the cylinders. It will also create either wide eyed glee or wide eyed fear when careening down a hill without the engine compression to create a brake.
In a human endeavor, this sense of freewheeling means that actions are running faster than the mind is controlling them.
The other meaning of freewheeling mechanics refers to an undriven, uncontrolled wheel. This morphed into a meaning of undirected or uncontrolled progress and is the meaning that Dylan uses in his album name.
The cool thing about Kevin's naming the first route on the North Face Apron is that all of these meanings apply.
Quicksilver is also evocative of the climbing on the North Face Apron. It refers to the liquid metal mercury, which for those old enough to remember was a magical liquid from broken thermometers that formed blobs and skittered into tiny balls when smashed but never evaporated--an endless plaything until the pieces got so small that they could not be recovered. Never mind that is was poisonous: our mom's didn't know.
Quicksilver has been used in similes and metaphors forever to describe something that moves or changes very quickly, or that is difficult to hold or contain, both of which capture the climbing on the North Face Apron.
Cool names.
The story of Jim losing his cool on the North Face Apron was quite a watershed for the younger climbers captivated by bolted slab climbing in the early 1970s. Jim was pathologically unflappable--he never lost his cool. So for him to refuse to follow his 'boys' into our new found runout slab climbing was momentous. But none of us recognized it at the time, since Jim was still the best climber in the galaxy. A few years later, Jim's protegees were pushing freeclimbing past his capabilities--a painful experience all good climbers face and which Jim distinguished himself by facing it gracefully--but in 1973 is was just a humorous oddity that Jim thought we were crazy.
Great stories from the North Face Apron, Kevin.
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hugo watt
Trad climber
California
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Feb 14, 2015 - 08:56pm PT
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The skull is natures helmet.
The route was particularly loose and I didn't own a helmet at the time.
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Flip Flop
Trad climber
Truckee, CA
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Feb 14, 2015 - 09:30pm PT
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Mr. Natural
One Hand Clapping
I Can't Believe it's a Girdle
Do or Fly
White Punks on Dope
Beckey/ Chouinard
Chouinard/Herbert
Inverted Staircase
Wandering Taoist
Hands of Fate
Fair Hands Line
Gletschersymphonie (Glacier Symphony)
Archangel
Crescent Arch
Crystal Bonzai
Desiderata
Ride a Wild Bago
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KabalaArch
Trad climber
Starlite, California
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Feb 14, 2015 - 10:39pm PT
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One of the finest photos in Yosemite Climber is that full page of Mr. Worrall, here, near the top of Quicksilver.
Naturally, most climbers BITD didn't carry a photog and rigging crew along with their rack. So some of the best action shots are a happenstance opportunity dialed into the nature, and the alignment, of the line itself.
Please feel free to correct me if I'm mistaken, Kevin, but for years I always thought that that xlnt shot of yourself was of a leader, traversing out and left from a belay. It wasn't until I had the opportunity to top out and see the situation first hand that I realized you are traversing into the top belay, from the uppermost bolt.
The most striking aspect of Kevin's portrait, though, is that look of the intense concentration required by techniques needed to step it up and go. Smooth, steady, and a very fluid and consistent flow of motion wins this race. A thinking man's climb, you don't bring your day to a close because you're pumped. It's always seemed that it's the combination of mental fatigue and nervous exhaustion is the cue to abandon ship. Once you hit your groove, the sequences of friction dishes; subtle changes in surface texture (sometimes mere inches apart); flow by for hours. But then, and very suddenly, the features just melt back into the media background and disappear, and all the might and main in the world aint' gonna get you any higher that day.
1978 so brought the acquaintance of Scott Burk, fresh from the HOM completion, pretty demoralized by the negative gossip (which explains the undergraded and runnout nature of his subsequent FA's)
Only 17 to my 24, Scottie was a fine mentor, both in terms of face | friction technique, and in ethics.
If he caught you standing on a bolt to rest, for example, he'd begin to slowly feed you slack until you got it back in gear; same if you God forbid rested too long on the rope after a fall – a “simulated Leader Fall” was his term for disciplining his belayers.
Scott was just as fervent as regards the location of proposed projects as their ethical context.
Two seasons, for example, were consecrated to his Pieces of Eight, between the Powell – Reed and Paradise Lost on MC NE Face.
He began his season with a shakedown of lots of the Apron routes. And, as his conscript, Kabala was rewarded with a taste of some of the cool but obscure routes here, like, say, Orange Peel, as we both familiarized ourselves with the nuances of the place.
Having thus become acquainted with some of the anticipated rockwork, Scott next hit upon the idea of establishing a “throw-away” FA, again to better appreciate the idea of a low impact, sustainable, route engineering practice on one of our Valley's greatest monuments, but in a sort of hidden corner. It is drawn but appropriately unnoted in all subsequent guidebooks. It was a “MCR First Ascent Simulation,” and Scott did not wish to have his rep remotely associated with it.
Taking this recon effort into account, Scott then devoted two summer seasons to his Pieces of Eight demonstration of OCD. He was going through belayers in relays.
I'd paid some dues up on his 4th Pitch, I think. At this point, it was more expedient to traverse in from Paradise Lost. As you know, most MCR stone is exceptionally compact, and a hand-drilled 3/8” bolt required 45 minutes minimum.
A medivac helicopter jetted in below and close-in to our positions; the late afternoon sun took on amber tones. Clearly, the day had come to a close. Total accomplished for the day: 1 Pitch, with 2 protection bolts and a 2 bolt anchor.
So Kabala, you're a rare climber to appreciate what's up there as you so passionately say you do, and an even rarer climber if you've ventured up on that route. It's an acquired taste for sure, but the best tasting slab climbing I've ever known. I'd encourage you to tune into MCR and do the entire climb, the first pitch is kind of an approach pitch - the outstanding climbing lies above, even the last 5.9 pitch follows an amazing weakness with unclimbable rock on either side.
This is a deeply atmospheric place, really my favorite after a lengthy career. To kick back at the base and decompress in the eternal shade of the North Face, backlit by the direct sun reflected from the bright El Cap is to know inner peace. Have never climbed on the Apron during the narrow window when it catches direct sunlight, as in your portrait. Although I've walked out the approach with binos to glass prospective projects in this direct sun. Its climate is such that it's possible to post 5.10 on all but the hottest of mid Summer days. I am going to take your remark as a complement, Kevin, because I really do love the place, and regard its First Ascentionists in high esteem, for having introduced and consolidated an emerging and perhaps a visionary ethic.
As written up Thread, I think there's only been the one period where it all came together – the leading on lesser Apron routes; the cardio and the weight training; yoga for self control (beginning with breathing) – came together close enough for Black Primo to emerge as a possibility, with a much stronger climber to take responsibility for the crux pitches.
I'd prefer not to disclose my age, other than to insinuate that the happy conjunction of all the elements necessary to ascend Black Primo, and in an appropriate Style, is not at all as likely an event as it might have been perhaps 20 years ago. Let's just say I am old enough to be my own father :P
Again, Thank You for the informative replies about a personal favorite Valley formation. Sadly, Black Primo has been one of the few career goals which remained beyond reach. At least I've enough mountain sense to know the difference between Going For It – an essential for this type of business – and a kind of recklessness easily associated with folks who climb for reasons other than sport, and from which people sometimes do not return.
I'm okay with that Kevin; if all objectives have been reached, perhaps the bar wasn't set highly enough?
In a human endeavor, this sense of freewheeling means that actions are running faster than the mind is controlling them.
This.
And Thank You, Roger, for adding to the conversation.
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MisterE
Gym climber
Bishop, CA
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Mar 15, 2015 - 08:26pm PT
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Great stuff Kevin and Roger!
My friend and I put up a new route today in Pine Creek called: Alan Bartlett Wasn't Here Ground-up, 5.10 mixed.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Mar 16, 2015 - 03:53am PT
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I climbed a route over a big lake a few weeks ago called Drop Swim Or Die
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Greg Maschinot
climber
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Mar 16, 2015 - 07:44am PT
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Elder cleavage
Yellow belly
Son of bitchy virgin
Drop fly or die
Menace to sobriety
Labatt ami
Psychosis
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slabbo
Trad climber
colo south
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Mar 16, 2015 - 08:04am PT
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In the UK- Reticent Mass Murderer and of course Benign Lives
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Tork
climber
Yosemite
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Mar 16, 2015 - 08:16am PT
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In ORG...Gimme the Helmet, I'll Be the Stunt Man
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Mar 16, 2015 - 09:05am PT
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I came back later with some fellow lunatics to finish the route.
That actually made me laugh out loud.
If ever I regain what it takes to climb on that colored apron, it will be with the band of my fellow lunatics.
A couple of route names that are good for a laugh:
Black Dudes on Welfare (a pun on White Punks on Dope)
Boogers on a Lampshade (also a pun ...)
And the name in search of a route that Werner came up with:
It's Just a Damn Sarcastic Joke
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flatlandermcjack
Ice climber
South Dakota
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Mar 16, 2015 - 09:13pm PT
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Rangers are people too and don't shoot, im only the belayer.
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flatlandermcjack
Ice climber
South Dakota
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Mar 16, 2015 - 09:23pm PT
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scratch my itchy and the thrill is gone
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If
Trad climber
UK
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Mar 17, 2015 - 11:30am PT
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I love the name Braille Trail in Burbage, South Yorkshire, UK. Sums up the climb (never done it tho)
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Cragar
climber
MSLA - MT
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Mar 17, 2015 - 11:32am PT
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The Gorge...
Flush Twice, LA needs the water
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skcreidc
Social climber
SD, CA
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Mar 17, 2015 - 11:52am PT
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I've always liked the name "March of the Kitchen Utensils", an 5.8 OW somewhere in Squamish. Sounds like a climb that could leave it's mark on you. One of these days gotta get up there....
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jaaan
Trad climber
Chamonix, France
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One of the best I've heard is at Red Rocks, near Statocaster. Craig Reason had bolted a route but never managed to climb it. Eventually someone else climbed it and named it... Beyond Reason! Anyone know who did make the first ascent?
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