The definitive Canadian climbing & underwear thread

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Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 8, 2009 - 10:56pm PT
There have been occasional references in this forum to my red underwear. Now many of you would probably get your panties (of whatever color) in a bunch if articles about them appeared on the internet, but then, most of you are American and have been force-fed all sorts of prudish nonsense, leaving you completely neurotic about anything even vaguely related to sex. Canadians, on the other hand, are internationally known for complete romantic abandon. One’s underwear on the internet? Mais, certainement! Hot. Hawter. Haughtest.

It is not surprising, therefore, that in America climbing has become a sort of “anti-sex.” A matter of purity, ethics, numbers… Bah! In fact it should be just the opposite. It should be about passion, and emotion, and… well… underwear.

Tami hinted at this in her “Ghosts utterly fantastic red underwear” thread, and I contributed a few words there. You can read that entire thread if you want to (it’s here: http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.html?topic_id=734687&msg=735165#msg735165); so there’s no point in me retelling the whole story, but the gist of it was that a bunch of ordinary young Canadians (that is, hardcore, fun-loving, super-athlete sex beasts) went for a little trip into the mountains of the Coast Range a couple of decades ago, and enjoyed a perfectly ordinary week of savage weather, disease, stunning first ascents, wet’n’wild nights, disturbing helicopter landings and fixed-wing takeoffs, and, of course, underwear. By our standards, it was just another outing in the hills, but clearly it has not been understood that way, and perhaps needs to be framed in more approachable terms for those of you born in the cultural emptiness between Mexico and Canada.

Or maybe not. One man’s perversion may be another man’s Saturday night, but sometimes it’s hard to explain that to the first man. So, to save a few thousand words, here are a few pictures of what Canadian mountaineering is about. We’ll start with the usual yadda yadda about mountains and such…

It all took place in the area around Mt. Sir Frances Drake, a 9,000 ft peak that rises from the head of Bute Inlet. The terrain is like this


And this (NE buttress of Needle Peak)


Base camp was like this (Greg Foweraker waiting for a few back issues of The Economist to dry)


And we brought back one kinda post-cardish summit shot (Don Serl topping out on a short boulder problem)


But that alpine climbing sh#t only gets you through part of the day, right? And anyway, in the end, it’s not what you climbed, it’s what you were wearing. Whether that may be blue boxers with a cute airplane embroidered on them


Tighty-whities


Stripey underwear à la Tami


Or, for the hardest of the hardcore Canadian alpinists, the Utterly Fantastic Red Underwear



But in closing I should point out that like all great climbers, we did not reach these peaks by ourselves. To achieve the heights that we did, we stood on the shoulders of the greatest Canadian alpinist of them all…

R.I.P. brother


Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 8, 2009 - 11:36pm PT
HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEEEEEE!!!!

Whoo Hoooooo HOooooOOooo
t*r

Trad climber
snowshoe thompson history trail
Jan 8, 2009 - 11:42pm PT
this thread is f*cking awesome.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jan 8, 2009 - 11:46pm PT
Damn good stuff Dave. You really know how to put it all into perspective. Just what I needed to resurrect my soul from the holiday funkiness. Thanks, brother.
Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 8, 2009 - 11:47pm PT
I just wanna post out loud whatta HEINOUS tea-cosy ol' FoodEater is wearin.

Oy, vey.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jan 9, 2009 - 12:03am PT
Excuse my YANKEE ignorance but wtf is a tea-cosy? Anything like a yid-lid?
Oy-fekking-vey.
t*r

Trad climber
snowshoe thompson history trail
Jan 9, 2009 - 12:06am PT
i think she means tighty-whities on boys?
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
Jan 9, 2009 - 12:55am PT
quite excellent!
MH2

climber
Jan 9, 2009 - 01:01am PT
Even 'utterly fantastic red' may have fallen a little short as description for that underwear but the picture makes it all clear.
Dropline

Mountain climber
Somewhere Up There
Jan 9, 2009 - 03:59am PT
Hahahahahah. Inspiring. Almost enough to make a yank wanna be a frostback...;)
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
North of the Owyhees
Jan 9, 2009 - 05:28am PT
That's it! I'm buyin' me some fabulous undies, and I'm gonna hang out in 'em, in Canada! Looks like a blast. Powza!
Yeah, my boring old pataguccis would probably get me deported.I can see that exchange "And what do we have here? Hideous! Get out of Canada, at once!"


Or knott... ;-)
Reilly

Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:01am PT
I think Washingtonians merit honorary maple leafs in many respects. Abandoned at birth as we were we blissfully danced to our own drummers like out northern neighbors.

To wit, I offer up a shot from the Mountaineers' latest edition of Freedom of the Hills, Chapter 3 - "Approach Attire"

On the dreaded approach to Brokeback Mountain:




But then real men don't need no stinkin' undies:


MisterE

Trad climber
Raising Arizona
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:30am PT


My English upbringing tells me this is the tea-cozy in question
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 09:32am PT
Tea Cozy = Toque ya cover a teapot with, eh? Don't ya know anything ya hoser?
Nefarius

Big Wall climber
somewhere without avatars.........
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:41am PT
They don't make women's underwear like they used to, do they? I'm glad they finally figured out that less is more. :)
Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:44am PT
Hey now now all of us wanna wear assfloss.
Thorgon

Big Wall climber
Sedro Woolley, WA
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:49am PT
Those red underwear are very stealth.. This is the right time for a thread like this one, I know there has to be a yarn to spin in an underwear thread, pun intended!


Thor
MisterE

Trad climber
Raising Arizona
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:52am PT
Beyond just the sheer redness of the underwear, the ensemble is spectacular. The matching heavy wool socks, casually worn dress shirt, another-day-at-the-office demeanor, and wrap-arounds really make that shot money.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:55am PT
Some things are better left misunderstood. I flunked Hoseronomics. Is Greg hiding a conehead under that toque?
Nefarius

Big Wall climber
somewhere without avatars.........
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:58am PT
"Hey now now all of us wanna wear assfloss. "

assfloss! hahaha Boy shorts are pretty hot too, for those not too interested in "assfloss"... :) I have to admit that I'm pretty sure that if I were a chick I wouldn't be wearing assfloss while climbing! Fo sho!
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