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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 9, 2009 - 01:56am PT
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There have been occasional references in this forum to my red underwear.
Now many of you would probably get your panties (of whatever color) in a bunch if articles about them appeared on the internet, but then, most of you are American and have been force-fed all sorts of prudish nonsense, leaving you completely neurotic about anything even vaguely related to sex. Canadians, on the other hand, are internationally known for complete romantic abandon. One’s underwear on the internet? Mais, certainement! Hot. Hawter. Haughtest.
It is not surprising, therefore, that in America climbing has become a sort of “anti-sex.” A matter of purity, ethics, numbers… Bah! In fact it should be just the opposite. It should be about passion, and emotion, and… well… underwear.
Tami hinted at this in her “Ghosts utterly fantastic red underwear” thread, and I contributed a few words there. You can read that entire thread if you want to (it’s here: http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.html?topic_id=734687&msg=735165#msg735165); so there’s no point in me retelling the whole story, but the gist of it was that a bunch of ordinary young Canadians (that is, hardcore, fun-loving, super-athlete sex beasts) went for a little trip into the mountains of the Coast Range a couple of decades ago, and enjoyed a perfectly ordinary week of savage weather, disease, stunning first ascents, wet’n’wild nights, disturbing helicopter landings and fixed-wing takeoffs, and, of course, underwear. By our standards, it was just another outing in the hills, but clearly it has not been understood that way, and perhaps needs to be framed in more approachable terms for those of you born in the cultural emptiness between Mexico and Canada.
Or maybe not. One man’s perversion may be another man’s Saturday night, but sometimes it’s hard to explain that to the first man. So, to save a few thousand words, here are a few pictures of what Canadian mountaineering is about. We’ll start with the usual yadda yadda about mountains and such…
It all took place in the area around Mt. Sir Frances Drake, a 9,000 ft peak that rises from the head of Bute Inlet. The terrain is like this
And this (NE buttress of Needle Peak)
Base camp was like this (Greg Foweraker waiting for a few back issues of The Economist to dry)
And we brought back one kinda post-cardish summit shot (Don Serl topping out on a short boulder problem)
But that alpine climbing sh#t only gets you through part of the day, right? And anyway, in the end, it’s not what you climbed, it’s what you were wearing. Whether that may be blue boxers with a cute airplane embroidered on them
Tighty-whities
Stripey underwear à la Tami
Or, for the hardest of the hardcore Canadian alpinists, the Utterly Fantastic Red Underwear
But in closing I should point out that like all great climbers, we did not reach these peaks by ourselves. To achieve the heights that we did, we stood on the shoulders of the greatest Canadian alpinist of them all…
R.I.P. brother
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Damn good stuff Dave. You really know how to put it all into perspective. Just what I needed to resurrect my soul from the holiday funkiness. Thanks, brother.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Excuse my YANKEE ignorance but wtf is a tea-cosy? Anything like a yid-lid?
Oy-fekking-vey.
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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quite excellent!
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MH2
climber
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Even 'utterly fantastic red' may have fallen a little short as description for that underwear but the picture makes it all clear.
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Dropline
Mountain climber
Somewhere Up There
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Hahahahahah. Inspiring. Almost enough to make a yank wanna be a frostback...;)
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Captain...or Skully
Social climber
North of the Owyhees
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That's it! I'm buyin' me some fabulous undies, and I'm gonna hang out in 'em, in Canada! Looks like a blast. Powza!
Yeah, my boring old pataguccis would probably get me deported.I can see that exchange "And what do we have here? Hideous! Get out of Canada, at once!"
Or knott... ;-)
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Reilly
Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
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I think Washingtonians merit honorary maple leafs in many respects. Abandoned at birth as we were we blissfully danced to our own drummers like out northern neighbors.
To wit, I offer up a shot from the Mountaineers' latest edition of Freedom of the Hills, Chapter 3 - "Approach Attire"
On the dreaded approach to Brokeback Mountain:
But then real men don't need no stinkin' undies:
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MisterE
Trad climber
Raising Arizona
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My English upbringing tells me this is the tea-cozy in question
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 12:32pm PT
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Tea Cozy = Toque ya cover a teapot with, eh? Don't ya know anything ya hoser?
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Nefarius
Big Wall climber
somewhere without avatars.........
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They don't make women's underwear like they used to, do they? I'm glad they finally figured out that less is more. :)
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Thorgon
Big Wall climber
Sedro Woolley, WA
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Those red underwear are very stealth.. This is the right time for a thread like this one, I know there has to be a yarn to spin in an underwear thread, pun intended!
Thor
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MisterE
Trad climber
Raising Arizona
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Beyond just the sheer redness of the underwear, the ensemble is spectacular. The matching heavy wool socks, casually worn dress shirt, another-day-at-the-office demeanor, and wrap-arounds really make that shot money.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Some things are better left misunderstood. I flunked Hoseronomics. Is Greg hiding a conehead under that toque?
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Nefarius
Big Wall climber
somewhere without avatars.........
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"Hey now now all of us wanna wear assfloss. "
assfloss! hahaha Boy shorts are pretty hot too, for those not too interested in "assfloss"... :) I have to admit that I'm pretty sure that if I were a chick I wouldn't be wearing assfloss while climbing! Fo sho!
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 01:09pm PT
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Something that's worth adding, just to keep the climbing/underwear continuum from red-shifting too far, is that the first ascent of the buttress on Needle Peak (second photo from the top in the OP) was truly badass. John Howe and ?? crashed in from tidewater and climbed the thing first try, a year or so before we were there. It's gotta be at least 4,000 ft of climbing, and as to the approach... Well, we saw it from the air, and it is capital-B Burly.
Alpinism at its purest and rawest.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Ghost, in a slightly bluer mood.
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AP
Trad climber
Calgary
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I had a pair of one piece Stanfield's underwear when I started climbing in 77. They were white though. Sure got hot under those heavy wool knickers. Plus I had a 60/40 anorak from the MEC. The Kendall Mint cake would dissolve in the pocket during alpine rain. Next time I went to use it the Mint Cake had congealed into a solid mess.
Young people don't know how good they have it with all that great modern clothing. I started with stuff that would have been appropriate for the Alps in 1938.
Plus I had an uncomfortable Joe Brown helmet.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 07:13pm PT
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Does it count if the climb is approached via Canada?
Man, I bet people in Chiliwack could see those things glowing over the southern skyline at night. So, yeah, it counts.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 11:03pm PT
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red underwear! Had to do it. Bump!
Well, okay. You bumped it, so you win the prize. I'd been holding this one back, but just for you I'll add a shot of Tami in Red Underwear. Y'all wanna talk about whose underwear it is, or how Tami came to be wearing it, go ahead. Posting the picture is as far as I go, I ain't talkin.
And note that Ms Nikki, behind Tami, is also parading around the mountains in long unders. It's the Canadian way.
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Captain...or Skully
Social climber
North of the Owyhees
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Jan 10, 2009 - 12:21am PT
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I dunno, Tami, you're fairly scintillating(maybe knott "radiant" , exactly).......sorta mostly kinda knott really.
Yeah, yeah. All Hail the King!
I'll be in the dungeon. See ya!
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Jan 10, 2009 - 01:07am PT
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Are those things what yall call the "northern lights"?
I dated a women who wore red lipstick that color. She called it her "whip me, f#ck me, drop dead red lipstick. I did my best to accommodate her.
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jan 10, 2009 - 01:15am PT
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Only in Canada would we elect an underwear king as head of the opposition party. Robert Stanfield was premier of Nova Scotia during the 1960s, and leader of the federal Conservatives from 1968 - 76. One of the better prime ministers that Canada never had, though he came very close in 1972. A nice, witty fellow - and the owner of Stanfield's underwear. The US elects presidents whose families are crooked, even if they aren't themselves(Kennedy, Bush, etc). We go for the flannel man. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Stanfield
The original red underwear thread was at http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.html?topic_id=734687
And you thought Canadians were boring! Later we'll talk about lumberjacks and igloos.
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John Moosie
climber
Beautiful California
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Jan 10, 2009 - 01:17am PT
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Sorry....... I thought you Canadians were tuff. I will try not to damage your delicate minds in the future.
But let me tell you. It was sooooooo good. heh heh.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 10, 2009 - 01:20am PT
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Sorry....... I thought you Canadians were tuff. I will try not to damage your delicate minds in the future.
John, you misunderstood. When Tami asked if you'd never heard of "too much information" and talked about using your inside voice, she meant that here inside ST, or at least in the Canadian section of ST, you can never give too much information. What she should have said, just to avoid confusion, was...
"Dude! You got pictures?"
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Mike Bolte
Trad climber
Planet Earth
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Jan 10, 2009 - 01:23am PT
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ms. nik
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Mighty Hiker
Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
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Jan 10, 2009 - 01:28am PT
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IMHO, two SuperTopo threads on the undergarments of Canadians may be one too many. It may cause people to start asking questions, and whispering.
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MH2
climber
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Jan 10, 2009 - 03:39am PT
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totally coolio scintillatingly radiant effervescently erotic red
Yeah I think that gets it across the line. Hit the buzzer.
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Captain...or Skully
Social climber
North of the Owyhees
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Jan 11, 2009 - 06:18pm PT
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With all the Boring shizz about, we need a bump...
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Jan 11, 2009 - 06:22pm PT
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With all the Boring shizz about, we need a bump...
Okay, how 'bout proof that it wasn't just Greg that was into the tea-cozy-on-the-head thing on that trip?
This'll be the last shot from that adventure until I've got time to get the scanner going again, though.
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Climbing dropout
Trad climber
Vancouver, BC
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Oct 30, 2009 - 12:33am PT
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super topo porn .... This is really sad
at least my underwear shots ended up in publication as the Standfields model for MEC catalogue 198? ...
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Keeper of Australia Mt
Trad climber
Whitehorse, Yukon , Canada
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Oct 30, 2009 - 05:10am PT
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Canadian climbers donning underwear as part of their unregulated quest to gain any advantage or pluck any epic first ascents is entirely a post-modernist deviant thing! Tears are not enough!
Real Canadian climbers don't wear underwear and we only have to go to pg. 318 of Chic Scott's "Pushing the Limits" to expose this and other salient facts. Dave Jones proved up a few surprises in his locker and he is rather famous for his 1972 Root on the Ohno Wall of Mount Moby Dick!
Such sends begin at lower "elevations" and the proof is on 390 of said bible, which shows Andy Genereux in appropriate training.
There is much unwritten history still to be verified here and not all to be found in Tami's future Squamish bestseller "1001 Squamish Knights"!
"Jenna Jameson Loves Her ACMGs" could be a future feature in all the best
Holiday Inns across the continent before long.
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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May 13, 2011 - 10:56pm PT
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Tami's is the alpine uniform of the day... long johns, nylon shorts, gaiters and white Koflachs...
don't know what that thing is she's wearing up top though...
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - May 14, 2011 - 07:37pm PT
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Whoa! Ed resurrects the Canadian underwear thread. And here we thought it was just your hair that was kinky...
Maybe I should dig around in the old photo boxes again and see if there's anything more to feed your need.
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Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
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May 14, 2011 - 08:54pm PT
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It was that moustache and killer aid technique shot that brought about the quest...What IS going on underneath...Inquiring minds want to know?!?
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survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
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Jan 30, 2013 - 02:06pm PT
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Dude, I'm waaaay into Canadian Underwear!
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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Jan 30, 2013 - 02:19pm PT
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I've Canadian relatives so I can assure you this thread has been one big
soft-pedal job straight from the Mormon playbook. I suspect the Momos make
the Canadians' undies. The rels won't come clean though.
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Nick Danger
Ice climber
Arvada, CO
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Oct 19, 2017 - 01:53pm PT
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Bump for this fabulously written red underwear thread, some of the best and funniest writing anywhere on the Taco. Reading it just has me in stitches, and lawd but do we need a good laff these daze.
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Oplopanax
Mountain climber
The Deep Woods
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Oct 19, 2017 - 03:59pm PT
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I remember Serl stripped down to his Y-fronts once on a hot Plan B hike up McGuire and then we met a local church group hiking down as we were headed up.
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Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
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Oct 19, 2017 - 08:11pm PT
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Thanks, Ghost! One of the best posts ever!
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Oct 19, 2017 - 09:28pm PT
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maybe it's something about Canada?
Mike Church in his skivvies, having just hiked out of the Bugs in August 1997 in the rain. I recall being similarly dressed.
A nice Canadian family had driven all that way, had one look at us from their car and drove off...
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Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
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Oct 19, 2017 - 10:25pm PT
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I don't know, Tami, but if you saw this:
in Helly-Hansen Lifa skivvies you might have run too.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Oct 21, 2017 - 08:59pm PT
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Bump for this fabulously written red underwear thread, some of the best and funniest writing anywhere on the Taco. Reading it just has me in stitches, and lawd but do we need a good laff these daze.
Damn! Thanks for resurrecting this bit of Canadian mountaineering history. Reminds me of why I'll be moving back north across the 49th Parallel next year.
And once I'm across, I hope the Wall does get built -- we don't need you Americans coming up, taking illegal residence, and trying to get into our underwear...
More importantly, on re-reading this thing, I see that one of the photos I posted was from PhotoF*#kit, and is now lost, so I'll take the opportunity to re-post it.
This is Tami in the front, somehow, after a week in the alpine wild, dressed up in fabulous red unders.
Are they _my_ red unders? If so, how did she wind up in them?
Just another Canadian Climbing Mystery.
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Ghost
climber
A long way from where I started
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 22, 2018 - 05:41pm PT
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In honor of Ed Hartouni's attempt to Make Supertopo Great Again, and the resurrection of Laura's Edzilla adventure, here's a bump of some old-school Canadian climbing content. And underwear.
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