The definitive Canadian climbing & underwear thread

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Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Original Post - Jan 8, 2009 - 10:56pm PT
There have been occasional references in this forum to my red underwear. Now many of you would probably get your panties (of whatever color) in a bunch if articles about them appeared on the internet, but then, most of you are American and have been force-fed all sorts of prudish nonsense, leaving you completely neurotic about anything even vaguely related to sex. Canadians, on the other hand, are internationally known for complete romantic abandon. One’s underwear on the internet? Mais, certainement! Hot. Hawter. Haughtest.

It is not surprising, therefore, that in America climbing has become a sort of “anti-sex.” A matter of purity, ethics, numbers… Bah! In fact it should be just the opposite. It should be about passion, and emotion, and… well… underwear.

Tami hinted at this in her “Ghosts utterly fantastic red underwear” thread, and I contributed a few words there. You can read that entire thread if you want to (it’s here: http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.html?topic_id=734687&msg=735165#msg735165); so there’s no point in me retelling the whole story, but the gist of it was that a bunch of ordinary young Canadians (that is, hardcore, fun-loving, super-athlete sex beasts) went for a little trip into the mountains of the Coast Range a couple of decades ago, and enjoyed a perfectly ordinary week of savage weather, disease, stunning first ascents, wet’n’wild nights, disturbing helicopter landings and fixed-wing takeoffs, and, of course, underwear. By our standards, it was just another outing in the hills, but clearly it has not been understood that way, and perhaps needs to be framed in more approachable terms for those of you born in the cultural emptiness between Mexico and Canada.

Or maybe not. One man’s perversion may be another man’s Saturday night, but sometimes it’s hard to explain that to the first man. So, to save a few thousand words, here are a few pictures of what Canadian mountaineering is about. We’ll start with the usual yadda yadda about mountains and such…

It all took place in the area around Mt. Sir Frances Drake, a 9,000 ft peak that rises from the head of Bute Inlet. The terrain is like this


And this (NE buttress of Needle Peak)


Base camp was like this (Greg Foweraker waiting for a few back issues of The Economist to dry)


And we brought back one kinda post-cardish summit shot (Don Serl topping out on a short boulder problem)


But that alpine climbing sh#t only gets you through part of the day, right? And anyway, in the end, it’s not what you climbed, it’s what you were wearing. Whether that may be blue boxers with a cute airplane embroidered on them


Tighty-whities


Stripey underwear à la Tami


Or, for the hardest of the hardcore Canadian alpinists, the Utterly Fantastic Red Underwear



But in closing I should point out that like all great climbers, we did not reach these peaks by ourselves. To achieve the heights that we did, we stood on the shoulders of the greatest Canadian alpinist of them all…

R.I.P. brother


Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 8, 2009 - 11:36pm PT
HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEEEEEE!!!!

Whoo Hoooooo HOooooOOooo
t*r

Trad climber
snowshoe thompson history trail
Jan 8, 2009 - 11:42pm PT
this thread is f*cking awesome.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jan 8, 2009 - 11:46pm PT
Damn good stuff Dave. You really know how to put it all into perspective. Just what I needed to resurrect my soul from the holiday funkiness. Thanks, brother.
Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 8, 2009 - 11:47pm PT
I just wanna post out loud whatta HEINOUS tea-cosy ol' FoodEater is wearin.

Oy, vey.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jan 9, 2009 - 12:03am PT
Excuse my YANKEE ignorance but wtf is a tea-cosy? Anything like a yid-lid?
Oy-fekking-vey.
t*r

Trad climber
snowshoe thompson history trail
Jan 9, 2009 - 12:06am PT
i think she means tighty-whities on boys?
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
Jan 9, 2009 - 12:55am PT
quite excellent!
MH2

climber
Jan 9, 2009 - 01:01am PT
Even 'utterly fantastic red' may have fallen a little short as description for that underwear but the picture makes it all clear.
Dropline

Mountain climber
Somewhere Up There
Jan 9, 2009 - 03:59am PT
Hahahahahah. Inspiring. Almost enough to make a yank wanna be a frostback...;)
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
North of the Owyhees
Jan 9, 2009 - 05:28am PT
That's it! I'm buyin' me some fabulous undies, and I'm gonna hang out in 'em, in Canada! Looks like a blast. Powza!
Yeah, my boring old pataguccis would probably get me deported.I can see that exchange "And what do we have here? Hideous! Get out of Canada, at once!"


Or knott... ;-)
Reilly

Mountain climber
Monrovia, CA
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:01am PT
I think Washingtonians merit honorary maple leafs in many respects. Abandoned at birth as we were we blissfully danced to our own drummers like out northern neighbors.

To wit, I offer up a shot from the Mountaineers' latest edition of Freedom of the Hills, Chapter 3 - "Approach Attire"

On the dreaded approach to Brokeback Mountain:




But then real men don't need no stinkin' undies:


MisterE

Trad climber
Raising Arizona
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:30am PT


My English upbringing tells me this is the tea-cozy in question
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 09:32am PT
Tea Cozy = Toque ya cover a teapot with, eh? Don't ya know anything ya hoser?
Nefarius

Big Wall climber
somewhere without avatars.........
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:41am PT
They don't make women's underwear like they used to, do they? I'm glad they finally figured out that less is more. :)
Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:44am PT
Hey now now all of us wanna wear assfloss.
Thorgon

Big Wall climber
Sedro Woolley, WA
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:49am PT
Those red underwear are very stealth.. This is the right time for a thread like this one, I know there has to be a yarn to spin in an underwear thread, pun intended!


Thor
MisterE

Trad climber
Raising Arizona
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:52am PT
Beyond just the sheer redness of the underwear, the ensemble is spectacular. The matching heavy wool socks, casually worn dress shirt, another-day-at-the-office demeanor, and wrap-arounds really make that shot money.
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:55am PT
Some things are better left misunderstood. I flunked Hoseronomics. Is Greg hiding a conehead under that toque?
Nefarius

Big Wall climber
somewhere without avatars.........
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:58am PT
"Hey now now all of us wanna wear assfloss. "

assfloss! hahaha Boy shorts are pretty hot too, for those not too interested in "assfloss"... :) I have to admit that I'm pretty sure that if I were a chick I wouldn't be wearing assfloss while climbing! Fo sho!
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 10:09am PT
Something that's worth adding, just to keep the climbing/underwear continuum from red-shifting too far, is that the first ascent of the buttress on Needle Peak (second photo from the top in the OP) was truly badass. John Howe and ?? crashed in from tidewater and climbed the thing first try, a year or so before we were there. It's gotta be at least 4,000 ft of climbing, and as to the approach... Well, we saw it from the air, and it is capital-B Burly.

Alpinism at its purest and rawest.
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jan 9, 2009 - 10:11am PT
Ghost, in a slightly bluer mood.
AP

Trad climber
Calgary
Jan 9, 2009 - 11:25am PT
I had a pair of one piece Stanfield's underwear when I started climbing in 77. They were white though. Sure got hot under those heavy wool knickers. Plus I had a 60/40 anorak from the MEC. The Kendall Mint cake would dissolve in the pocket during alpine rain. Next time I went to use it the Mint Cake had congealed into a solid mess.
Young people don't know how good they have it with all that great modern clothing. I started with stuff that would have been appropriate for the Alps in 1938.
Plus I had an uncomfortable Joe Brown helmet.
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
North of the Owyhees
Jan 9, 2009 - 12:45pm PT
Arrrrggh.
Clint Cummins

Trad climber
SF Bay area, CA
Jan 9, 2009 - 03:59pm PT
Does it count if the climb is approached via Canada?




Sky Sjue atop Bear Mountain, North Buttress, 2005
photos by Ross Peritore

http://skisickness.com/Chilliwack/Bear/

http://cascadeclimbers.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/490806
Chris2

Trad climber
Jan 9, 2009 - 04:04pm PT
http://www.metrolyrics.com/o-canada-lyrics-the-national-anthem-of-canada.html

Tami......so cute in your striped undies!!! (are your children aware of this photo?...be careful, they may use it against you!)
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 04:13pm PT
Does it count if the climb is approached via Canada?

Man, I bet people in Chiliwack could see those things glowing over the southern skyline at night. So, yeah, it counts.
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
North of the Owyhees
Jan 9, 2009 - 07:43pm PT
red underwear!
Had to do it. Bump!
Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 9, 2009 - 07:57pm PT
AP(e) You got some kind of whiiiiiiiinin' going on! Want some cheese with it ? Jus'whutteye'd expect from someone admittin to be from Cowgary. BIG GRIN.

And C2 sadly, yah, my 2 kids know too much about me. But I hold trump. If the boy wants me to pay up that college & training tuition he's gotta keep his yob shut.
And the girl? I know where she sleeps.

Oh, and , Ghost? People in Chilliwack tonight are lookin' at the mtns from midship inna dinghy or, if dinghyless, they are lookin' at 'em through a periscope.
Chilliwack is under water. Sheeeee!!!!
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 08:03pm PT
red underwear! Had to do it. Bump!

Well, okay. You bumped it, so you win the prize. I'd been holding this one back, but just for you I'll add a shot of Tami in Red Underwear. Y'all wanna talk about whose underwear it is, or how Tami came to be wearing it, go ahead. Posting the picture is as far as I go, I ain't talkin.


And note that Ms Nikki, behind Tami, is also parading around the mountains in long unders. It's the Canadian way.
Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 9, 2009 - 08:38pm PT
Confession Time : I can never hope to be as totally coolio, as scintillatingly radiant, as effervescently erotic in red longjohns like our David.

For those red longgies I'm sportin' there are none other then Smelly Helly Hansen fleece trousers. Heavy. Not unders but, sadly, overs.

I ask forgiveness for the deception.

But that is a genuine GUMBY 50/50 pullover and I"m wearin' it in the Coast Range. Wheeee!!!!
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
North of the Owyhees
Jan 9, 2009 - 09:21pm PT
I dunno, Tami, you're fairly scintillating(maybe knott "radiant" , exactly).......sorta mostly kinda knott really.

Yeah, yeah. All Hail the King!
I'll be in the dungeon. See ya!
John Moosie

climber
Beautiful California
Jan 9, 2009 - 10:07pm PT
Are those things what yall call the "northern lights"?

I dated a women who wore red lipstick that color. She called it her "whip me, f#ck me, drop dead red lipstick. I did my best to accommodate her.


Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 9, 2009 - 10:13pm PT
Hay Moosie have ya never heard of TOO MUCH INFORMATION ???


Use yer inside voice.
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jan 9, 2009 - 10:15pm PT
Only in Canada would we elect an underwear king as head of the opposition party. Robert Stanfield was premier of Nova Scotia during the 1960s, and leader of the federal Conservatives from 1968 - 76. One of the better prime ministers that Canada never had, though he came very close in 1972. A nice, witty fellow - and the owner of Stanfield's underwear. The US elects presidents whose families are crooked, even if they aren't themselves(Kennedy, Bush, etc). We go for the flannel man. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Stanfield

The original red underwear thread was at http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.html?topic_id=734687

And you thought Canadians were boring! Later we'll talk about lumberjacks and igloos.
John Moosie

climber
Beautiful California
Jan 9, 2009 - 10:17pm PT
Sorry....... I thought you Canadians were tuff. I will try not to damage your delicate minds in the future.

But let me tell you. It was sooooooo good. heh heh.
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 9, 2009 - 10:20pm PT
Sorry....... I thought you Canadians were tuff. I will try not to damage your delicate minds in the future.

John, you misunderstood. When Tami asked if you'd never heard of "too much information" and talked about using your inside voice, she meant that here inside ST, or at least in the Canadian section of ST, you can never give too much information. What she should have said, just to avoid confusion, was...

"Dude! You got pictures?"
Mike Bolte

Trad climber
Planet Earth
Jan 9, 2009 - 10:23pm PT


ms. nik
Mighty Hiker

Social climber
Vancouver, B.C.
Jan 9, 2009 - 10:28pm PT
IMHO, two SuperTopo threads on the undergarments of Canadians may be one too many. It may cause people to start asking questions, and whispering.
Tami

Social climber
Vancouver, Canada
Jan 9, 2009 - 10:44pm PT
and whispering more and taking their clothes off ... slowly...and in front of the mirror and ...getting down to their knickers........then none...........and.......reaching everrrrr soooo slloooooow for the tape measure .....

Snicker teee heee....
MH2

climber
Jan 10, 2009 - 12:39am PT
totally coolio scintillatingly radiant effervescently erotic red

Yeah I think that gets it across the line. Hit the buzzer.
Captain...or Skully

Social climber
North of the Owyhees
Jan 11, 2009 - 03:18pm PT
With all the Boring shizz about, we need a bump...
Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Reply - Jan 11, 2009 - 03:22pm PT
With all the Boring shizz about, we need a bump...

Okay, how 'bout proof that it wasn't just Greg that was into the tea-cozy-on-the-head thing on that trip?


This'll be the last shot from that adventure until I've got time to get the scanner going again, though.
Pate

Trad climber
?
Oct 29, 2009 - 08:29pm PT
Very funny.

bump for Tammi in her skivvies.
Climbing dropout

Trad climber
Vancouver, BC
Oct 29, 2009 - 09:33pm PT
super topo porn .... This is really sad

at least my underwear shots ended up in publication as the Standfields model for MEC catalogue 198? ...


Keeper of Australia Mt

Trad climber
Whitehorse, Yukon , Canada
Oct 30, 2009 - 02:10am PT
Canadian climbers donning underwear as part of their unregulated quest to gain any advantage or pluck any epic first ascents is entirely a post-modernist deviant thing! Tears are not enough!

Real Canadian climbers don't wear underwear and we only have to go to pg. 318 of Chic Scott's "Pushing the Limits" to expose this and other salient facts. Dave Jones proved up a few surprises in his locker and he is rather famous for his 1972 Root on the Ohno Wall of Mount Moby Dick!
Such sends begin at lower "elevations" and the proof is on 390 of said bible, which shows Andy Genereux in appropriate training.

There is much unwritten history still to be verified here and not all to be found in Tami's future Squamish bestseller "1001 Squamish Knights"!

"Jenna Jameson Loves Her ACMGs" could be a future feature in all the best
Holiday Inns across the continent before long.
Ed Hartouni

Trad climber
Livermore, CA
May 13, 2011 - 07:56pm PT
Tami's is the alpine uniform of the day... long johns, nylon shorts, gaiters and white Koflachs...
don't know what that thing is she's wearing up top though...

Ghost

climber
A long way from where I started
Topic Author's Reply - May 14, 2011 - 04:37pm PT
Whoa! Ed resurrects the Canadian underwear thread. And here we thought it was just your hair that was kinky...

Maybe I should dig around in the old photo boxes again and see if there's anything more to feed your need.

Steve Grossman

Trad climber
Seattle, WA
May 14, 2011 - 05:54pm PT
It was that moustache and killer aid technique shot that brought about the quest...What IS going on underneath...Inquiring minds want to know?!?
survival

Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
Jan 30, 2013 - 11:06am PT
Dude, I'm waaaay into Canadian Underwear!



Credit: survival
Ron Anderson

Trad climber
Soon to be Nipple suckling Liberal
Jan 30, 2013 - 11:13am PT
i had missd this thread somehow,, but it explains A LOT!!! muwwahahahahaaaa!;-)
Reilly

Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
Jan 30, 2013 - 11:19am PT
I've Canadian relatives so I can assure you this thread has been one big
soft-pedal job straight from the Mormon playbook. I suspect the Momos make
the Canadians' undies. The rels won't come clean though.
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