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AllezAllez510
Trad climber
PDX, OR
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:34pm PT
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Having just dated a 24 y/o, I would never go younger than a couple years. I mean, I'm 27 I know its only three years, but a few years at my age can mean a completely different stage of life. I actually can't believe I'm saying this, but I am looking to settle down. I'm TIRED of dating. I'm TIRED of the game. My only fear is that I settle down and end up divorced at 49. Being single at that age must suck (no offense older people, I'm young and ig'nant).
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Salathiel
Trad climber
South Beach, FL
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:35pm PT
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Divorce is never as much fun as people tell you.
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:41pm PT
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Riley,
Rule #1.
Don't post anything about it.
Rule #2.
If you forget rule #1, delete your offending posts.
Rules 3-10
Find the most amicable way of settling possible in your state. No point in sharing the wealth more than 2 ways.
Rule 11
If either of you are mental and can't follow 3-10,
what the lady at the car rental counter said to Steve Martin in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
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Matt
Trad climber
primordial soup
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:45pm PT
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pathetic lois!
but nice bid...
i am not angry about anything my father did or did not do, whatever i may have posted (seems kinda creepy that you remember it better than i do) it was matter of fact, rather than resentful and full of the obvious hate and contemp that your 1st post in this thread. in many ways my father was a great man.
i, of course, am not the issue here, nor is my father's divorce from my mother, but by attempting to needle me in that way, you are all the more transparent (not that you were threatening to be complex in the 1st place).
you simply don't want to admit that i hit the nail right on the head with my diagnosis of what really eats at you. fair enough, i am just saying that if you'd posted that you were resentful because his behavior or his addictions took away from you the opportunity to pump out punks, at least you'd appear sympathetic. instead you are the picture of hate and bitterness (read it again for yourself).
"psycho" analisys on ST, can't get a better rate if you try!
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WBraun
climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:48pm PT
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Does this mean that Matt and Lois are getting a divorce?
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Matt
Trad climber
primordial soup
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:50pm PT
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it means that if only lois had a family, she might only be on ST 23/7
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:06pm PT
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I think we need a group hug eh?
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:08pm PT
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If they were closer together than 2500 miles one would have probably gotten a restraining order.
Other than that, they get along fine.
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SammyLee2
Trad climber
Memphis, TN
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:24pm PT
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I vote for the group hug. If we were around a real campfire, things would be different. It's hard to look into the eye and heart of a person and not feel someting. We might say some things in a different way as well.
I have some "huggy" friends and I love them.
Heck, let's meet at camp 4. Do some climbing, some talking, some hugging. And if that won't work, let's just go out in the parking lot, make sure the dog isn't around, and square it away.
See, I haven't changed THAT much.
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:25pm PT
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Back to Riley's original post, I think selfishness is the thing that poison's relationships.
Just have to understand we are all mostly selfish so you know what to watch out for.
So the person you love says they want something just say sure. Let's stop and I'll get something too or whatever. I remeber my dad used to make us wait for miles before he would stop when we had to use the restroom? Geeze who want kids having accidents in the back seat? Then, he gave us a jar .. holy moly. But I think we forget there is another person who is on the trip, who wants to enjoy the ride and wants to enjoy you, Riley. It's so much cheaper and better use of time to do something nice than be out the person you care about. Get all dressed cute and he's at the computer, go sit in his lap. I wish I had thought more about what made my husband happy and worried less about how well he read my mind.
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tolman_paul
Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:39pm PT
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Scarier still would be marrying the wrong person and spending 10 years with them.
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Mtnmun
Trad climber
Top of the Mountain Mun
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:56pm PT
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Riley, how long have you been married? Has your wife gained weight since the kids? Are you no longer interested?
I was married for 19 years. We grew up together, having been married at 22. We realized we were going in different directions after 19 years of marriage.
I was off on my climbing trips, and she needed a domestic partner. We were business partners as well. We remained business partners for four years after the divorce. We told everyone we went from husband and wife to brother and sister. Which is just the opposite in Arkansas. We remained best friends through the divorce. We both remarried and remain a close family, plus two.
After the divorce, I had a fabulous single life in my 40's and remarried last year. If my wife puts on lingerie I am a dog in heat. To hell with the Taco. See you later. LOL
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Ouch!
climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:58pm PT
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My wife is the most generous person I ever met. Always has been. She could beat the crap out of me but she is constantly looking for ways to do things for me. She is friendly and courteous to everyone she meets and they recognize this. I think she is much nicer than I am, although I hope I have mellowed out a bit.
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 10:12pm PT
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I know quite a few happy couples. They've all had some pretty hard seasons in their relationships. My boss is so in love with his wife he tears up about her. But, they went through the fire for sure. Just didn't give up. The concept of growing apart needs to be revisited a bit. I did that for sure, so I am guilty as heck. But, when you see you're growing apart, it really doesn't take much - just dropping the pride (which contradicts it being easy, the pride is the hard part). That was me. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I really hurt my husband and am not proud of it at all. I know I could have just gone and hugged him or whatever, just been sweet. I think that's all people really want, just to be with someone who is sweet to them, male or female - someone who makes you feel comfort.
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Ricardo Carlos
Trad climber
Off center, CO.
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Feb 20, 2008 - 10:40pm PT
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Riley
Why is a man smarter during Sex
Well he is plugged into genius
So dig deep dude Mrs J and your daughters are worth it
Then come up and lets go to Moab or Zion
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Califlower
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Feb 20, 2008 - 10:59pm PT
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Locker...
Guilty as charged "again." Yes, I know there are men out there that do communicate.
I just like dating the type that don't communicate well. My bad for they are "my choices!"
Please note that all of my ex(s) are great guys... I don't date people I don't like.
But...
The ones I remember as being the worse were also the worst in the "speak up" department. They did not "speak up" except at inappropriate times. I usually only heard about their problems with me when they used them as weapons against me. They did not bring them up to solve them. It was not about creating an environment of learning, dealing with one's issues, forgiveness and love... Instead, they were the reasons they didn't like me.
Heck, since I am human with all the inherit flaws... (You get the picture.)
Anyway...
Now all that did communicate well also resulted in descent interactions; even our break-ups had no real drama. In fact, they all are good friends of mine. Presently I hang out with two ex(s) on a regular basis. Since they know me... They are my best critics, give the best relationship advise and are great for reality checks.
AF
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martygarrison
Trad climber
atlanta
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:05pm PT
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I think Matt is sitting behind Lois in class, dipping her pigtails in the ink well.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:10pm PT
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Riley,
Do you just look stupid, or were you born that way?
With any luck, you will get no num-nums for at least a week.
It's time for grovelling, dude - sincere, serious grovelling. Flowers are in order, for sure some candy, foot rubbing.
Note: Even "doghouse" flowers are better than no flowers.
Nice bottle of wine. Turn the table, dude. Take it from a CAD, I've done it all. Take the offensive, dude. Seriously. Go for it. Offer her something she's always wanted [as long as it's not too expensive] and give it to her, or at least see if you can get out of it.
Laughing our asses off in Yosemite! Woman sitting next to me saying, "DO KNOTT TAKE PETE'S ADVICE!!"
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Califlower
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:19pm PT
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Pete,
Sounds like you are right on!
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Heck, I always melt when someone does something nice for me... I forget to bark, can't even growl; instead I get all mushy needing to be held and petted.
People who know me will tell you, I am easy to anger and... I am easy to cool off and then I get all fuzzy, wanting hugs etc...
Now, if you take the aggressive way... I can and will bark for hours. (I do have my flaws.)
AF
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fear
Ice climber
hartford, ct
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:31pm PT
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Just keep your priorities straight.
Bro's before ho's.....
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