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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho
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Feb 20, 2008 - 05:47pm PT
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Pay attention to your woman you shitferbrains. Otherwise you'll get yours in the cornhole in the afterlife.
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Phil_B
Social climber
Hercules, CA
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Feb 20, 2008 - 05:49pm PT
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My classic can't buy a hint story:
I'm still dating my ex and we're headed up to the mountains for the weekend. Along the way, she asks me if I'd like to stop for some tea. No.
A little later on, she asks again, would I like to stop for some tea? No, I don't like tea.
15 minutes later she's crying. "Are you mad at me?"
I'm like, WTF, where did this come from?
Of course she was asking to stop and I didn't get it. Pulled off at the next exit. I had a beer I think. I can't stand tea. . .
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ydpl8s
Trad climber
Denver, Colorado
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Feb 20, 2008 - 05:51pm PT
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My ex was going through a mid-life crisis and coerced me into buying her a 1990 Porsche 911 Carrera 4. As with all of these little monsters, it spent a lot of time in the shop.....she left me for the Porsche mechanic....true story!
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Standing Strong
Trad climber
westside war cry
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Feb 20, 2008 - 05:52pm PT
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from a girl's perspective, it is kind of dissapointing and sad when with things like getting all cute w/the lingerie a guy doesn't seem to notice or appreciate that you cared enough to put some effort into things for him.
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Cracko
Trad climber
Quartz Hill, California
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Feb 20, 2008 - 05:58pm PT
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Riley,
You're killing me with this. I'm not saying Shite other than I'm divorced !!
Cracko
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Phil_B
Social climber
Hercules, CA
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Feb 20, 2008 - 06:18pm PT
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eKat, that was my whole marriage in a nutshell.
Since she was English, she couldn't really come out and say what she wanted. She had to hint around it. Of course, most of it went straight over my head. She's way better than the rest of her family though.
My part in all of it, though, was that I never really learned how to listen or be aware of my own feelings until it was too late.
Personal growth through heartache, eh? How else to make changes to your person? Although effective, I don't recommend it to others. . .
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ydpl8s
Trad climber
Denver, Colorado
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Feb 20, 2008 - 06:30pm PT
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Phil,
This is funny but appropriate:
Installing Love
Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, 'Error - Program not run on external components.' What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the 'My Heart' directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others. Pay it forward...
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SammyLee2
Trad climber
Memphis, TN
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Feb 20, 2008 - 07:00pm PT
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First wife. Met her when I was a shine boy in a barber shop. She was 12, I was 13. She was beautiful and sweet and blond with big boobs. (yes, even at 12)
She lived 400 miles away and we wrote letters, etc. till I joined the Navy. After bootcamp, we got together. She was a senior in HS.
We got married when she was a sophomore at U of Tenn. She transferred to the college of Charlseston, cause I was stationed there. She finished school and we moved to South Florida after I got out of the Navy.
She started wanting to "spend time with her girlfriends" and I trusted her. I eventually became suspicious and asked her about it. No, No, nothing like that, she says.
One Sunday, we were out for a drive and she tells me she is moving out when we return. I'm just not for her, she says. No boyfriend or anything.
I tell her, if she can walk out of the house with our 8 year old daughter sitting on the couch with me, go ahead. To my surprise, she does. Daughter and I in tears.
I hire a priavte detective. Within one week, he has video of her making out with her boss in a park.
I show her the video and tell her that all I want is a fair divorce, shared custody of our daughter. She says ok. We use the same lawyer and the judge says easy day here.
22 years ago, and it still hurts. It was nearly a year before I went a whole day without crying.
We are not friendly but not enemy's either.
BTW, Her boss starting carrying a gun, cause he knew I did. I was VERY glad of that fact. I used to carry a copy of the deed to my house so I could bond out quickly. My saying was that I'd be out of jail before he got out of the hospital.
PS, They got married 8 years later. Very unhappy now.
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atchafalaya
climber
Babylon
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Feb 20, 2008 - 07:13pm PT
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Besides my parents, I have never seen a good ltr or marriage.
These are great stories! Keep posting them. I need all the reasons I can think of to stay unmarried and do what I want whenever I want. Thank you staco...
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Mick K
climber
Northern Sierra
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Feb 20, 2008 - 07:42pm PT
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Atch: you need more reasons?
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Califlower
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Feb 20, 2008 - 07:56pm PT
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I am smiling...
Guys just get caught up in their minds with work, bills, issues etc. They even might be suffering from some physical injury and won't express it.
Then you find yourself in some slinky silk thing wondering how the heck can this man ignore you. Especially when that afternoon the very same guy spotted a set of boobs six miles away and stopped to stare at them.
What? Now that mine are always available, have they lost their appeal? Then why do you get nervous when I wear a low cut top to the store?
Am I no longer fun to play with?
-----------------------------------------------------
The only thing I can figure is...
If you are ignored once in a blue moon, or doing times of crisis... Just as long that it is not lasting weeks/months, chalk it up as that being part of life. Even the best relationships have low periods.
Now if you are ignored all the time and it is not due to physical illness and you really are in need...
Time to break up and find another man. Break Up Now...
A beautiful woman should never be wasted with an unwilling man, especially when there are so many kind and willing ones running around.
AF
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atchafalaya
climber
Babylon
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Feb 20, 2008 - 07:59pm PT
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Blinny, yes on the ltr. And I agree, times have changed. My folks are inseperable after 40 some years. I have never seen anything like it. Things are maybe too complicated these days for something simple like love.
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Matt
Trad climber
primordial soup
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:01pm PT
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Yuck! Make that double YUCK! My definition of total and utter waste of time and, moreover, totally useless man. Thanks but no thanks. And don't any one of you here who are fond of drugs and booze even TRY to defend him. Dead = useless. As far as I am concerned, it represents the biggest waste of my time and most significant error of judgment. Wouldn't touch one of these types again with a 10 foot pole no matter how good they look and or or how well they f*#k.
i don't even know what point you were trying to make here but you come across as so incredibly selfish and ignorant and unlikable withat post, it almost makes me want to puke, and i already knew i didn't like you before i read that...
addiction is a disease, not a state of being, not a trait nor set of traits.
your only bitch is your own expediture of TIME?
where is the compassion, the regret things turned out that way?
and what about your own missed opportunities to possibly change the outcome?
a person whose company you enjoied is gone from the earth, and rather than miss him, forgive him, grieve him, you just BLAME him! your sole focus is on your own regret over your "waste of time"?!?
the bitterness you cling to cannot be masked, cannot be contained, cannot be disguised, and it's not very flattering, i can assure you.
my best guess is that you didn't ever breed, because you'd hoped to with him,but by the time you found another to have you, the window was closed (or closing fast) on the both of you.
is/was that the issue?
you'd come across as less hateful if you just said what you meant, rather than curse those who are no longer among us, did you even read your own post? just ugly...
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John Moosie
climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:05pm PT
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Ekat nails it. Communication. Both sides need to learn to communicate what they need and want.
Riley, if your wife didn't communicate enough, then don't take the blame for a failed surprise. If she knew what she wanted, then she should have communicated that. Some surprise is better then no surprise. How surprised would you have been if she had put on the outfit with a long coat over it and then flashed you? Then told you that you could have more once you got the kids to the sisters. Would that have woken you up?
Don't get mad.... communicate.
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AllezAllez510
Trad climber
PDX, OR
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:06pm PT
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I've never been married, but my girlfriend of a year just dumped me. Some of you may say 'pfff...a year ain't nothin.' This was my first serious relationship in a while. Only the second time I've said the 'L' word to a girl.
It's nice being free, but my entire social life was her. I live in the Oakland right now and as soon as the school year is over I'm moving back to Oregon. I'm worried though. It seems that every time a relationship sours, my response is to move away to another place...
I'm only 27, but the idea of being unmarried in ten years scares the sh!t out of me.
edit: and the reason she gave for dumping me was that i could not communicate effectively. guilty as charged.
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Matt
Trad climber
primordial soup
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:09pm PT
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dood-
yer 27, wait til you're 35, then marry a nice 25 year old (you sure don't want to marry a 17 year old!)
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Jaybro
Social climber
The West
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:13pm PT
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Riley, too many and too colorful to add to now.
DON'T MAKE NEW TALES!
A better story is how you stayed together, against all odds... now there is is an Epic worth sharing!
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Standing Strong
Trad climber
westside war cry
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:29pm PT
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it kind of kills me to see guys my age w/younger girls. i hate it that since i'm older now, i'm considered less desirable.
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SammyLee2
Trad climber
Memphis, TN
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:31pm PT
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Lois,
Your post struck straight to my heart. I am one of those guys who suffers from addictions, dyslexia and add. I am the person who is a waste of time and effort. Maybe it is my fault and maybe not.
You might remember a recent post that describes my "true" place in the universe. A gain of sand on the beach.
Yet, at the same time, I think some folks might be in such a place, as to find some value in spending time with me. At least for awhile. I can imagine folks growing tired.
I guess that Libby figured it out.
I am sorry that I am who I am, truly. But it is who I am.
At least I can and have climbed Royal Arches. Not millions have. There is joy and peace on the rock. I hope that everyone find their rock.
SammyLee
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John Moosie
climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:34pm PT
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Lois, I disagree with how Matt spoke his peace, but there is significance in how vehement you considered the relationship to be a waste.
How could ten years of love be a waste? Considering his death to be a waste is different then considering the whole relationship to have been.
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AllezAllez510
Trad climber
PDX, OR
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:34pm PT
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Having just dated a 24 y/o, I would never go younger than a couple years. I mean, I'm 27 I know its only three years, but a few years at my age can mean a completely different stage of life. I actually can't believe I'm saying this, but I am looking to settle down. I'm TIRED of dating. I'm TIRED of the game. My only fear is that I settle down and end up divorced at 49. Being single at that age must suck (no offense older people, I'm young and ig'nant).
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Salathiel
Trad climber
South Beach, FL
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:35pm PT
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Divorce is never as much fun as people tell you.
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:41pm PT
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Riley,
Rule #1.
Don't post anything about it.
Rule #2.
If you forget rule #1, delete your offending posts.
Rules 3-10
Find the most amicable way of settling possible in your state. No point in sharing the wealth more than 2 ways.
Rule 11
If either of you are mental and can't follow 3-10,
what the lady at the car rental counter said to Steve Martin in Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
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Matt
Trad climber
primordial soup
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:45pm PT
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pathetic lois!
but nice bid...
i am not angry about anything my father did or did not do, whatever i may have posted (seems kinda creepy that you remember it better than i do) it was matter of fact, rather than resentful and full of the obvious hate and contemp that your 1st post in this thread. in many ways my father was a great man.
i, of course, am not the issue here, nor is my father's divorce from my mother, but by attempting to needle me in that way, you are all the more transparent (not that you were threatening to be complex in the 1st place).
you simply don't want to admit that i hit the nail right on the head with my diagnosis of what really eats at you. fair enough, i am just saying that if you'd posted that you were resentful because his behavior or his addictions took away from you the opportunity to pump out punks, at least you'd appear sympathetic. instead you are the picture of hate and bitterness (read it again for yourself).
"psycho" analisys on ST, can't get a better rate if you try!
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WBraun
climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:48pm PT
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Does this mean that Matt and Lois are getting a divorce?
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Matt
Trad climber
primordial soup
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Feb 20, 2008 - 08:50pm PT
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it means that if only lois had a family, she might only be on ST 23/7
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:06pm PT
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I think we need a group hug eh?
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TradIsGood
Chalkless climber
the Gunks end of the country
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:08pm PT
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If they were closer together than 2500 miles one would have probably gotten a restraining order.
Other than that, they get along fine.
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SammyLee2
Trad climber
Memphis, TN
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:24pm PT
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I vote for the group hug. If we were around a real campfire, things would be different. It's hard to look into the eye and heart of a person and not feel someting. We might say some things in a different way as well.
I have some "huggy" friends and I love them.
Heck, let's meet at camp 4. Do some climbing, some talking, some hugging. And if that won't work, let's just go out in the parking lot, make sure the dog isn't around, and square it away.
See, I haven't changed THAT much.
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:25pm PT
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Back to Riley's original post, I think selfishness is the thing that poison's relationships.
Just have to understand we are all mostly selfish so you know what to watch out for.
So the person you love says they want something just say sure. Let's stop and I'll get something too or whatever. I remeber my dad used to make us wait for miles before he would stop when we had to use the restroom? Geeze who want kids having accidents in the back seat? Then, he gave us a jar .. holy moly. But I think we forget there is another person who is on the trip, who wants to enjoy the ride and wants to enjoy you, Riley. It's so much cheaper and better use of time to do something nice than be out the person you care about. Get all dressed cute and he's at the computer, go sit in his lap. I wish I had thought more about what made my husband happy and worried less about how well he read my mind.
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tolman_paul
Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:39pm PT
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Scarier still would be marrying the wrong person and spending 10 years with them.
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Mtnmun
Trad climber
Top of the Mountain Mun
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:56pm PT
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Riley, how long have you been married? Has your wife gained weight since the kids? Are you no longer interested?
I was married for 19 years. We grew up together, having been married at 22. We realized we were going in different directions after 19 years of marriage.
I was off on my climbing trips, and she needed a domestic partner. We were business partners as well. We remained business partners for four years after the divorce. We told everyone we went from husband and wife to brother and sister. Which is just the opposite in Arkansas. We remained best friends through the divorce. We both remarried and remain a close family, plus two.
After the divorce, I had a fabulous single life in my 40's and remarried last year. If my wife puts on lingerie I am a dog in heat. To hell with the Taco. See you later. LOL
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Ouch!
climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 09:58pm PT
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My wife is the most generous person I ever met. Always has been. She could beat the crap out of me but she is constantly looking for ways to do things for me. She is friendly and courteous to everyone she meets and they recognize this. I think she is much nicer than I am, although I hope I have mellowed out a bit.
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 10:12pm PT
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I know quite a few happy couples. They've all had some pretty hard seasons in their relationships. My boss is so in love with his wife he tears up about her. But, they went through the fire for sure. Just didn't give up. The concept of growing apart needs to be revisited a bit. I did that for sure, so I am guilty as heck. But, when you see you're growing apart, it really doesn't take much - just dropping the pride (which contradicts it being easy, the pride is the hard part). That was me. I wanted to do what I wanted to do. I really hurt my husband and am not proud of it at all. I know I could have just gone and hugged him or whatever, just been sweet. I think that's all people really want, just to be with someone who is sweet to them, male or female - someone who makes you feel comfort.
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Ricardo Carlos
Trad climber
Off center, CO.
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Feb 20, 2008 - 10:40pm PT
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Riley
Why is a man smarter during Sex
Well he is plugged into genius
So dig deep dude Mrs J and your daughters are worth it
Then come up and lets go to Moab or Zion
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Califlower
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Feb 20, 2008 - 10:59pm PT
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Locker...
Guilty as charged "again." Yes, I know there are men out there that do communicate.
I just like dating the type that don't communicate well. My bad for they are "my choices!"
Please note that all of my ex(s) are great guys... I don't date people I don't like.
But...
The ones I remember as being the worse were also the worst in the "speak up" department. They did not "speak up" except at inappropriate times. I usually only heard about their problems with me when they used them as weapons against me. They did not bring them up to solve them. It was not about creating an environment of learning, dealing with one's issues, forgiveness and love... Instead, they were the reasons they didn't like me.
Heck, since I am human with all the inherit flaws... (You get the picture.)
Anyway...
Now all that did communicate well also resulted in descent interactions; even our break-ups had no real drama. In fact, they all are good friends of mine. Presently I hang out with two ex(s) on a regular basis. Since they know me... They are my best critics, give the best relationship advise and are great for reality checks.
AF
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martygarrison
Trad climber
atlanta
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:05pm PT
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I think Matt is sitting behind Lois in class, dipping her pigtails in the ink well.
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'Pass the Pitons' Pete
Big Wall climber
like Oakville, Ontario, Canada, eh?
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:10pm PT
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Riley,
Do you just look stupid, or were you born that way?
With any luck, you will get no num-nums for at least a week.
It's time for grovelling, dude - sincere, serious grovelling. Flowers are in order, for sure some candy, foot rubbing.
Note: Even "doghouse" flowers are better than no flowers.
Nice bottle of wine. Turn the table, dude. Take it from a CAD, I've done it all. Take the offensive, dude. Seriously. Go for it. Offer her something she's always wanted [as long as it's not too expensive] and give it to her, or at least see if you can get out of it.
Laughing our asses off in Yosemite! Woman sitting next to me saying, "DO KNOTT TAKE PETE'S ADVICE!!"
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Califlower
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:19pm PT
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Pete,
Sounds like you are right on!
-------------
Heck, I always melt when someone does something nice for me... I forget to bark, can't even growl; instead I get all mushy needing to be held and petted.
People who know me will tell you, I am easy to anger and... I am easy to cool off and then I get all fuzzy, wanting hugs etc...
Now, if you take the aggressive way... I can and will bark for hours. (I do have my flaws.)
AF
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fear
Ice climber
hartford, ct
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:31pm PT
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Just keep your priorities straight.
Bro's before ho's.....
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Califlower
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:45pm PT
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Excuse me...
I don't know what kind of girls you date but...
Speaking for all the women on this forum.
NONE of US, NOT A SINGLE ONE can be called a "HOE."
My "priority" is not to be childish and categorize an entire gender population in such a negative term.
You must have am inability to connect with the other sex and you are unable to take the responsibility of your condition. So... You blame all of us... How silly...
The only thing common all us women have that will make "all of be not compatible" is "you."
Now go figure yourself out and fix it...
AF
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 20, 2008 - 11:58pm PT
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Riley,
Pass the petons was soooo right. Very hot. Guys are at their hottest when they get it. When girls get all girley for you and can't compete with your other interests it not only a bummer, it's embarassing. Try to just do something every single day to let her know you're trying to get it. Especially since you have kids. Do whatever it takes. She must really love you to plan a night like that so you just need to keep the balloon in the air.
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Califlower
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Feb 21, 2008 - 12:01am PT
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Relationships are ups and downs...
Just enjoy the ups and...
When it is down, deal with it... Try to figure out what he/she wants and give it to him/her.
Jello gave me the best advise ever...
He said just give them what they want... If you have a really good person as a partner, they will never ask from you what you can't easily give...
So, why not make them happy and just give?
Really, how hard will it be? Plus, if you do give... Imagine the rewards, the happiness and security you will create in your marriage.
It is so worth the effort and it is easy to do.
AF
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 21, 2008 - 12:34am PT
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I mean this with the utmost respect for you leb, but that's just the point. That selfish tug-of-war we all play (understanding I feel we are all basically selfish). Why on earth don't you make his bread. Sounds like you're a talented baker. Don't you have something you really like a lot? It's sort of a mean tease. That is, almost give him what he is asking you for. You have a man who'll EAT AT THE TABLE??? Geeze. Put the freakin dog outside and enyoy your husband's company. Don't make me side with the folks in the previous posts. That's what love is you little kook. Doing something selfLESS for someone. You sound like you're joking about something that's not very funny.
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 21, 2008 - 12:55am PT
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That's better. I don't mean to sound grouchy. I have this stupid flu and can't stop coughing. Worst sore throat I've ever had too.
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Barbarian
Trad climber
all bivied up on the ledge
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Feb 21, 2008 - 12:57am PT
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True story - As I gathered my shoes and rope, my wife of 6 months decided to make a stand. "You have to choose right now. It either me or the mountains."
I don't miss her.
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dfrost7
Social climber
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Feb 21, 2008 - 01:03am PT
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Thanks very much. I'm going to get my throat checked tomorrow. I haven't had a sore throat last a week before. Good advice, I'll go get some tomorrow. I've been taking dayquil, it was working until today.
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nita
climber
chica from chico, I don't claim to be a daisy
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Feb 21, 2008 - 01:14am PT
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This thread has been a fun and interesting read, but..Radical, DO NOT Let your wife see your last post! She will be pissed!
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Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
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Feb 21, 2008 - 01:26am PT
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Growing up, my father had this friend who had eight sons. By and by, each one got married, until all eight were married. Years go by...............all eight got divorced........true story........so if you have a good spouse;.....treat them right with love and respect. (I am fortunate in marriage and blessed with awesome children)
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nita
climber
chica from chico, I don't claim to be a daisy
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Feb 21, 2008 - 01:34am PT
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Leb,Wrong, Nita (and I DO love you). He NEEDS do let his wife know how he feels and she needs to let him know how she feels. Only then can we learn what is important to the other person and only then can we truly learn what buttons NOT TO PUSH.
Leb,You are right about the above comment. I am speaking about... airing his private life-> to us Tacoheads.
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WBraun
climber
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Feb 21, 2008 - 01:48am PT
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So what's the crazy ass stripper chick doing now?
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Gene
climber
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Feb 21, 2008 - 02:26am PT
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And she really liked me...
Yeah. Right. She's putting her younger sister through med school.
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Gene
climber
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Feb 21, 2008 - 02:36am PT
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Pulling your chain, but Dude, you're in a world of hurt if it takes *a horny, sluty, skank angel to tell you you're still desirable.*
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Califlower
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Feb 21, 2008 - 02:40am PT
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Sorry for your experience...
Just please... For your own sanity, it is time to delete this thread. You don't need to look at this in the morning...
AF
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| Messages 1 - 55 of total 55 in this topic |
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