Climbing Limerics

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Steve Grossman

Trad climber

Seattle, WA

Feb 27, 2012 - 10:58am PT

Nice wordsmithery folks!

drljefe

climber

El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson

Feb 27, 2012 - 02:09pm PT

A hometown hero named Steve
His mark on the cliffs he did leave
Twas not with his bolts, though
He basically soloed
The runouts are hard to believe!

BooDawg

Social climber

Butterfly Town

Feb 27, 2012 - 03:35pm PT

There once was a climber named Bridwell.
When climbing grade I's, he did well.
But on a Grade VI,
He got in a fix
And rappelled to the talus and hid well.

There was a brick-layer named Kor
Who instead of laying bricks layed a whore.
Now for the abortion,
From his pay comes a portion.
And that's why old Kor is so poor.

There once was a climber named Dozier
Who was keenly atuned to exposure.
Until stumped by the riddle
Of the Square Slot on Middle
When he suddenly lost his composure.

There once was a climber named Beck
Whose balls hung down from his neck.
He jerked at his throat
Till his cheeks they did bloat,
And he spitted out c#m by the peck.

There was a young climber named Booey
Who kissed Russ's scab which was gooey.
So great was his pleasure
He dove for the treasure,
And found the appendage quite chewy.

Reilly

Mountain climber

The Other Monrovia- CA

Feb 27, 2012 - 03:48pm PT

There once was a chap name of Guido.
Truly fond he was of his chapeau.
But while on a sail
he besmirched the lee rail
and hence bid adieu to said chapeau.

the idle rich

climber

Estes Park, CO

Feb 29, 2012 - 11:28pm PT

This one is courtesy of Komito;

There once was a woman named Gert,
Who climbed while wearing a skirt,
She said, "this is nice,
On steep rock and ice,
And it keeps those below me alert."

He told me another that Kor made up about Art Gran but I can't repeat...actually I'm doing my best to forget it.

guido

Trad climber

Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific

Feb 29, 2012 - 11:33pm PT

There once was a climber named Rowell
Whose temper was rapid and foul

For If I can't free it
and Bardini can’t ski it

It's not worth a scat from my bowel

BLD

climber

Feb 29, 2012 - 11:37pm PT

Precious! guido...

Steve Grossman

Trad climber

Seattle, WA

Mar 4, 2012 - 03:50pm PT

Great stuff folks!

survival

Big Wall climber

Terrapin Station

Mar 6, 2012 - 12:37pm PT

There once was a dude, name of Drl.
Who took out his dog for a twirl.

But send did not Bud.
Who slipped on the mud.

So Jefe had to yard haul his girl.

GOTCHA BACK DUDE!!!

Steve Grossman

Trad climber

Seattle, WA

Mar 11, 2012 - 01:44pm PT

Bump for a trump!

Ksolem

Trad climber

Monrovia, California

Mar 11, 2012 - 02:57pm PT

I once knew a guy from the Gunks,
Who hung out with all the wrong punks.
He would climb with his clothes off,
And then he would pose off,
This crazy mad guy from the Gunks!

DrDeeg

Mountain climber

Mammoth Lakes, CA

Mar 22, 2012 - 12:32am PT

About Chris Fredericks, after he found a girlfriend:

As Chris grew increasingly sexual
His climbing became ineffectual
Sublimation he found
Could be gotten around
By means more directly erectual

About Eric Beck, after his fall on the DNB, when he had a pin inserted in his elbow. I recall that Steve Thompson is the author. Beck & Sacherer freed the DNB a year later.

A climber named Beck was becked
Upon the North Buttress Direct
Alas poor Eric
Is now part ferric
And all of his climbing is fecked

Eric was my roommate at the time (along with Thompson, Erb, and Sacherer) and because his elbow was fixed at 90 degrees, he couldn't lick his fingers when he ate fried chicken.

About John Morton, after having to retreat because he dropped the rack:

Morton was lacking in gall
He thought that he might take a fall
Thompson was hot
But Morton was not
And he hurled the rack from the wall

BooDawg

Social climber

Butterfly Town

Mar 22, 2012 - 03:05am PT

In the 60's a climber, McKeown
Was out in the meadow a screwin'
Two children walked by
Who were not at all shy
Asked, "What in the hell are ya' doin"?

krutley

climber

here, now

Mar 22, 2012 - 11:11am PT

A young man to whom climbing was sacred
Used to scramble on boulders quite naked
When 'twas found he used chalk
Lesser climbers were shocked
And their egos proclaimed that he'd faked it

Steve Grossman

Trad climber

Seattle, WA

Mar 22, 2012 - 11:43am PT

My ribs hurt from laughing at these gems!

Tobia

Social climber

Mar 22, 2012 - 12:41pm PT

Here on the taco there is little room for restraint
Some whose chatter of the matter is a feint.
A few who visit are of climbing lore,
and leave you begging for more.
Yet some who come only to register a complaint.

TWP

Trad climber

Mancos, CO

Mar 22, 2012 - 01:51pm PT

Once twas a climber Donini
Mighty proud of his horse-size weenie

No sign of Maestri high on the Torre
Egger's bones far below so gory
Donini found all this odd
Pronounced Cesare a fraud

When the Italian returned with his Compressor,
Removed all doubt
What he was about,
CM the rapscallion.
Donini the stallion.