Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
| Messages 1 - 109 of total 109 in this topic |
clode
Trad climber
portland, or
|
|
|
Topic Author's Original Post - Nov 29, 2007 - 02:43pm PT
|
Got any? Here is one I thought of biking in to work this morning:
There once was a gent named Robbins,
The man really knew how to pound pins,
When he went up The Stone, often alone,
He always came back to Liz's big grins.
While maybe not as catchy as a photo TR, at least it is (somewhat) climbing related!
|
|
rgold
Trad climber
Poughkeepsie, NY
|
|
|
Nov 29, 2007 - 03:46pm PT
|
I just wrote one and posted it on gunks.com, in honor of a climber who rappelled off without checking whether his ropes reached the ground. Upon discovering they didn't, he yelled for help. Dyed-in-the-wool Gunkie and local climbing emporium owner Rich Gottlieb happened to be walking by. He soloed to the top of the cliff with a rope and rescued the guy. And so we have
There once was a climber named Brown
who rappelled when his ends weren't down.
Not to worry said he
I'll just shout, "Rescue me!"
But alas---Gottlieb was in town.
|
|
guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
|
|
|
Feb 25, 2012 - 09:11pm PT
|
Guido special:
"There once was a climber named Powell.
Whose antics were suspect and foul.
In place of a Bong
He used Ropers Dong
While Roper cut loose with a howl!"
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Feb 25, 2012 - 09:24pm PT
|
There was a climber named Bird,
of who many rumors are heard.
He claimed to see the light
when he went so far to the Right
That he thought Atilla a liberal turd.
|
|
Brokedownclimber
Trad climber
Douglas, WY
|
|
|
Feb 25, 2012 - 09:37pm PT
|
Ron-
Ask Layton for some climber limeriks! Altho' I doubt you could post them here...
|
|
guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
|
|
|
Feb 25, 2012 - 09:49pm PT
|
There once was a climber name Tami
Big part of the Topo famdamily
In lieu of a song
She lit up her Bong
Now gives us some more of your whammies
|
|
Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
|
|
|
Feb 25, 2012 - 09:57pm PT
|
my second grader brought this home,
(this may not abide per the grammatical rules of limericks..)
two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl.
one was a very happy soul,
the other took the gloomy view,
"we shall die! he cried without more ado.
and so with a last despairing cry,
he flung up his leg and said,
"GOOD BYE!"
Said the other frog,
with a merry grin,
"I can't get out.
But i wont give in.
I'll just swim around till my strenth is spent.
Then I will die the more content.
Bravely he swam 'til it would seem,
his struggle began to churn the cream.
Out on top of the butter he stopped
and out of the bowl he gaily hopped.
What is the lesson tis easily found?
If you can't get out keep swimming around.
|
|
ec
climber
ca
|
|
|
Feb 25, 2012 - 10:43pm PT
|
http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/thread.php?topic_id=833181&tn=0&mr=0
a guide's tune...
UP HIGH (to the tune of “Raw Hide”)
CLIMBIN’, CLIMBIN’, CLIMBIN’, CLIMBIN’, CLIMBIN’, CLIMBIN’,
UP HIGH.
ROLLIN’, ROLLIN’, ROLLIN’,
THOUGH THE STREAMS ARE SWOLLEN,
KEEP THOSE CLIENTS GOIN’, UP HIGH.
RAIN AND WIND AND WEATHER,
HELL BENT FOREVER,
WISHIN’ MY GAL WAS BY MY SIDE.
ALL THE THINGS I’M MISSIN’,
GOOD VITTLES LOVE AND KISSIN’,
ARE WAITING AT THE END OF MY CLIMB.
MOVE ‘EM ON, HEAD ‘EM UP, HEAD ‘EM ON, MOVE ‘EM UP, MOVE ‘EM ON, HEAD ‘EM UP. UP HIGH.
CLIP ‘EM OUT, TIE ‘EM IN, TIE ‘EM OUT, CLIP ‘EM IN, CLIP ‘EM OUT, TIE ‘EM IN. UP HIGH.
KEEP MOVIN’, MOVIN’, MOVIN’,
KNOW THEY’RE DISAPPROVIN’,
KEEP THOSE CLIENTS MOVIN’, UP HIGH.
DON’T TRY TO UNDERSTAND THEM,
JUST SHORT ROPE AND COMMAND THEM,
SOON WE’LL BE STEPPIN’ HIGH AND WIDE.
MY HEART’S CALCULATIN’,
THAT FLAT GOUND WILL BE WAITIN’,
BE WAITIN’ AT THE END OF THE CLIMB.
MOVE ‘EM ON, HEAD ‘EM UP, HEAD ‘EM ON, MOVE ‘EM UP, MOVE ‘EM ON, HEAD ‘EM UP. UP HIGH.
CLIP ‘EM OUT, TIE ‘EM IN, TIE ‘EM OUT, CLIP ‘EM IN, CLIP ‘EM OUT, TIE ‘EM IN. UP HIGH.
MOVE ‘EM ON, HEAD ‘EM UP, HEAD ‘EM ON, MOVE ‘EM UP, MOVE ‘EM ON, HEAD ‘EM UP. UP HIGH.
CLIP ‘EM OUT, TIE ‘EM IN, TIE ‘EM OUT, CLIP ‘EM IN, CLIP ‘EM OUT, TIE ‘EM IN. UP HIGH.
|
|
BLD
climber
|
|
|
Feb 25, 2012 - 11:02pm PT
|
Walking along this time.
I was confronted by this climb.
It’s like my walk was broke.
I climbed so high, I choked.
This climb was fine.
B
|
|
Fritz
Trad climber
Choss Creek, ID
|
|
|
Feb 25, 2012 - 11:15pm PT
|
A famous climber named Donini,
Was not known, just for his weenie.
He climbed so well for so long,
Folk singers would have made songs,
If not for him being: Donini.
|
|
Jaybro
Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
|
|
|
Feb 25, 2012 - 11:52pm PT
|
There once was a climber from Gdansk,
Whose whillans would creep up his.....
|
|
Sam R
climber
Mammoth Lakes, CA
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 12:03am PT
|
There once was a man called "the Dugger",
who in the mountains was one tough bugger.
'Til he thought he could ski,
and blew out his knee.
Now he's just a poor crippled fugger!
|
|
Sam R
climber
Mammoth Lakes, CA
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 12:05am PT
|
There once was a lady from Dallas,
who used a dynamite stick for a phallus.
They found her vagina in North Carolina,
and her ass at Buckingham Palace!
|
|
Fish Finder
Social climber
THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 09:17am PT
|
there is always this classic....
Jack and Jill went up the hill.....
|
|
Mike Bolte
Trad climber
Planet Earth
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 10:59am PT
|
Kevin - I'm impressed! those are excellent
EDIT: Guido too!
EDIT: Ron too!
EDIT: Rik too!
|
|
guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 01:33pm PT
|
DONINI
There once was a lad named Donini
Who some thought a bit of a meanie
Cantankerous at best
He slandered the rest
While frontpointing a slab of Linguine
|
|
Mike Bolte
Trad climber
Planet Earth
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 01:43pm PT
|
A climber named guido afloat
made up poems that he sent from his boat
Is he a climber
or is he a rhymer?
He can spin a story of note
|
|
Gene
climber
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:04pm PT
|
He calls himself Pellucid Wombat.
Where’d he come up with that?
After hooking urban stone
And getting a frostbitten bone
He plans to siege Pothole Dome.
{knott a limerick}
g
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:07pm PT
|
Not a climbing limerick but a favorite Gorey none the less...
Deliciously dark...
|
|
TheSoloClimber
Trad climber
Vancouver
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:12pm PT
|
There was a young climber from Squish
Who kept all his nuts in a dish
He forgot them at home
When he attempted Half Dome
And somehow used for protection, a fish.
|
|
TheSoloClimber
Trad climber
Vancouver
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:15pm PT
|
I heard of a short guide from the Rockies
Who drank, climbed and played hockey
When he couldn't top out
He said with a pout
These moves weren't made for a jockey.
|
|
guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:18pm PT
|
There once was climber named Mike
His visions peer far in the night
A man of the planets
His preference for granite
Now Mike is out riding his bike.
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:22pm PT
|
There was a climber named Duane
Who never climbed in the rain
He feared he would plummet
To ground from the summit
Thus rendered to naught but a stain
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:31pm PT
|
There was a climber named Ron
Who knew not what route he was on
He thought he'd rappel
But said "What the hell
I'll wait till the water is gone
and one my friend Rich made;
There was an old climber named Deuce
Who liked nailing flakes that were loose
He'd hook above ledges
on miniscule edges
and tied into ropes with a noose
|
|
edejom
Boulder climber
Butte, America
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:34pm PT
|
A man known 'round here only as "Cilley"
stayed climbin' our granite when chilly.
With his hands in the crack,
and his feet out of whack,
his only thought was of freezing his Willy !
A batholith tribute...
|
|
Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:41pm PT
|
There was a climber named Guido
Who bouldered in only a Speedo
To problems he'd walk
And attempt without chalk
But climb them he did yes indeedo
(which is nicer than using;
When stemming this putz
Would pop loose with his nuts
;-)
|
|
drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 02:47pm PT
|
There once was a climber named Bruce
Who begged for sandbagging abuse
So i brought the nugs
He brought the Buggz
It's a good thing the Stronghold's not loose!
|
|
clode
Trad climber
portland, or
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 26, 2012 - 03:58pm PT
|
Hey, come on Karl. I started the thread. Where is the credit? While I like many of the Limerics better than mine, I at least deserve some credit, eh? Even Guido e-mailed me today about what I had started so long ago.
As you say, PEace.
|
|
tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 05:12pm PT
|
There once was a hot climber chick from Red Rocks
who loved jumping on big cocks
her friends were all gay
they all ran away
so she ending up climbing on big rocks
Sorry. Simply can not compose a limrec that is not dirty;) too many years working in restaruntes..
|
|
Mighty Hiker
climber
Vancouver, B.C.
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 05:25pm PT
|
There once was a poster named clode,
Whose spelling was a little bit flawed,
He spelt it "Limeric",
But really should consider it,
Before he's corrected by a blog.
(OK, "blog" doesn't scan all that well - I'll try to think of a better word. But it's Limerick, as any Irish will tell you.)
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 06:37pm PT
|
The Guido Limericks #1
A well-bronzed dandy named Guido
Crack climbed nude, shoes or a Speedo
A crux rattly and cruel
Made him slot a prized jewel
Fixed as he lost both his feet- oh!
|
|
guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 06:47pm PT
|
touche mon ami
There once was a climber named Steve
Whose postings were our daily reprieve
Said Mimi in jest
You can BUMP with the best
Like Adam once said to his Eve?
|
|
BLD
climber
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 07:47pm PT
|
There was a forum called Super Topo.
All who posted were super loco.
Some were holding a command.
Others were banned.
Virtual camp fire with hot cocoa.
|
|
Synchronicity
Trad climber
British Columbia, Canada
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 08:11pm PT
|
There once was a climber named Kruk
He shat when his knee once got stuck
After chopping a Torre
We all heard the story
Hows that for some shitty luck?
|
|
Synchronicity
Trad climber
British Columbia, Canada
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 08:23pm PT
|
Tommy Caldwell liked to climb with his bro's
Sent hard climbs from Lurking Fear to the Nose
but with a saw he did fidget
which cost him a digit
Leave the home reno's up to the pro's....
|
|
guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 10:31pm PT
|
On an early ascent of Phantom Pinnacle, circa 61 in the Valley, Beck dislocated his shoulder. My first experience at all the fun of putting "things" back together. Fortunately, he had just led the most difficult pitch so once again I avoided the dreaded challenge.
I have to thank two of my limerick mentors, Roper and Powell, for my love of the limerick. Time is of the essence in limericks. So perhaps we should set up an hourglass to put this into perspective?
ERIC BECK
There once was a climber named Beck
Whose shoulder was a hell of a wreck
He called all his friends
To pull hard from both ends
Now his ass is where he once had a neck
|
|
Karl Baba
Trad climber
Yosemite, Ca
|
|
|
Feb 26, 2012 - 10:40pm PT
|
Hey, come on Karl. I started the thread. Where is the credit? While I like many of the Limerics better than mine, I at least deserve some credit, eh? Even Guido e-mailed me today about what I had started so long ago.
As you say, PEace.
There was a young poster named Clode
Who posts up from on his commode
He was talking to me
as he was taking a pee
But Dude.... this is my first post on this thread so ??????
PEace
Karl
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
|
Feb 27, 2012 - 10:58am PT
|
Nice wordsmithery folks!
|
|
drljefe
climber
El Presidio San Augustin del Tucson
|
|
|
Feb 27, 2012 - 02:09pm PT
|
A hometown hero named Steve
His mark on the cliffs he did leave
Twas not with his bolts, though
He basically soloed
The runouts are hard to believe!
|
|
BooDawg
Social climber
Butterfly Town
|
|
|
Feb 27, 2012 - 03:35pm PT
|
There once was a climber named Bridwell.
When climbing grade I's, he did well.
But on a Grade VI,
He got in a fix
And rappelled to the talus and hid well.
There was a brick-layer named Kor
Who instead of laying bricks layed a whore.
Now for the abortion,
From his pay comes a portion.
And that's why old Kor is so poor.
There once was a climber named Dozier
Who was keenly atuned to exposure.
Until stumped by the riddle
Of the Square Slot on Middle
When he suddenly lost his composure.
There once was a climber named Beck
Whose balls hung down from his neck.
He jerked at his throat
Till his cheeks they did bloat,
And he spitted out c#m by the peck.
There was a young climber named Booey
Who kissed Russ's scab which was gooey.
So great was his pleasure
He dove for the treasure,
And found the appendage quite chewy.
|
|
Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
|
|
|
Feb 27, 2012 - 03:48pm PT
|
There once was a chap name of Guido.
Truly fond he was of his chapeau.
But while on a sail
he besmirched the lee rail
and hence bid adieu to said chapeau.
|
|
the idle rich
climber
Estes Park, CO
|
|
|
Feb 29, 2012 - 11:28pm PT
|
This one is courtesy of Komito;
There once was a woman named Gert,
Who climbed while wearing a skirt,
She said, "this is nice,
On steep rock and ice,
And it keeps those below me alert."
He told me another that Kor made up about Art Gran but I can't repeat...actually I'm doing my best to forget it.
|
|
guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
|
|
|
Feb 29, 2012 - 11:33pm PT
|
There once was a climber named Rowell
Whose temper was rapid and foul
For If I can't free it
and Bardini can’t ski it
It's not worth a scat from my bowel
|
|
BLD
climber
|
|
|
Feb 29, 2012 - 11:37pm PT
|
Precious! guido...
|
|
survival
Big Wall climber
Terrapin Station
|
|
There once was a dude, name of Drl.
Who took out his dog for a twirl.
But send did not Bud.
Who slipped on the mud.
So Jefe had to yard haul his girl.
GOTCHA BACK DUDE!!!
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
|
Mar 11, 2012 - 01:44pm PT
|
Bump for a trump!
|
|
Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
|
|
|
Mar 11, 2012 - 02:57pm PT
|
I once knew a guy from the Gunks,
Who hung out with all the wrong punks.
He would climb with his clothes off,
And then he would pose off,
This crazy mad guy from the Gunks!
|
|
DrDeeg
Mountain climber
Mammoth Lakes, CA
|
|
|
Mar 22, 2012 - 12:32am PT
|
About Chris Fredericks, after he found a girlfriend:
As Chris grew increasingly sexual
His climbing became ineffectual
Sublimation he found
Could be gotten around
By means more directly erectual
About Eric Beck, after his fall on the DNB, when he had a pin inserted in his elbow. I recall that Steve Thompson is the author. Beck & Sacherer freed the DNB a year later.
A climber named Beck was becked
Upon the North Buttress Direct
Alas poor Eric
Is now part ferric
And all of his climbing is fecked
Eric was my roommate at the time (along with Thompson, Erb, and Sacherer) and because his elbow was fixed at 90 degrees, he couldn't lick his fingers when he ate fried chicken.
About John Morton, after having to retreat because he dropped the rack:
Morton was lacking in gall
He thought that he might take a fall
Thompson was hot
But Morton was not
And he hurled the rack from the wall
|
|
BooDawg
Social climber
Butterfly Town
|
|
|
Mar 22, 2012 - 03:05am PT
|
In the 60's a climber, McKeown
Was out in the meadow a screwin'
Two children walked by
Who were not at all shy
Asked, "What in the hell are ya' doin"?
|
|
krutley
climber
here, now
|
|
|
Mar 22, 2012 - 11:11am PT
|
A young man to whom climbing was sacred
Used to scramble on boulders quite naked
When 'twas found he used chalk
Lesser climbers were shocked
And their egos proclaimed that he'd faked it
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
|
Mar 22, 2012 - 11:43am PT
|
My ribs hurt from laughing at these gems!
|
|
Tobia
Social climber
GA
|
|
|
Mar 22, 2012 - 12:41pm PT
|
Here on the taco there is little room for restraint
Some whose chatter of the matter is a feint.
A few who visit are of climbing lore,
and leave you begging for more.
Yet some who come only to register a complaint.
|
|
TWP
Trad climber
Mancos, CO
|
|
|
Mar 22, 2012 - 01:51pm PT
|
Once twas a climber Donini
Mighty proud of his horse-size weenie
No sign of Maestri high on the Torre
Egger's bones far below so gory
Donini found all this odd
Pronounced Cesare a fraud
When the Italian returned with his Compressor,
Removed all doubt
What he was about,
CM the rapscallion.
Donini the stallion.
|
|
Patrick Oliver
Boulder climber
Fruita, Colorado
|
|
Parle Vou Francais
Patrick Edlinger?
(Edlinger is pronounced Ed lawn shay)
I wrote a whole slew of limericks once, will try to find them...
|
|
Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
|
|
A preacher who climbed hailed from Devon
He prayed he could lead an E7
Alas when he tried
He fell off and died
But such is the Kingdom of Heaven
|
|
Indianclimber3
Trad climber
|
|
There once was a climber named Fred
"I like climbing without ropes"he said
He could have used some gear
When a rock fell near
And now poor Fred.. is dead
|
|
Indianclimber3
Trad climber
|
|
There once was a climber from Nantucket
When his pro was thin he thought F*#k it
He move up with a wimper
Ended up taking a whipper
And almost ended up kicking the bucket
|
|
Flip Flop
Trad climber
Truckee, CA
|
|
There once was a gal from Tuolumne
She said that she wanted to follow me
I showed the lass a good time
When asked for a swig of her wine
She replied "You can just swallow me"
|
|
Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
|
|
|
Aug 30, 2016 - 09:20am PT
|
So many aspire to heed the call
but take up sport climbing rather than risking a fall
yet when their manhood is impugned
they invoke sophistry like a bunch of buffoons
and wind up just bellowing 'get phukked y'all!'
|
|
mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
|
|
|
Aug 30, 2016 - 12:11pm PT
|
Lost Arrow
Poets are a dime a doz.
I know one who might be my cuz
Who said he could climb
As well as make rhyme
But was not as good as he said he was.
He got drunk late one night.
It was a pitiful sight--
While fetching an arrow
His escape was quite narrow
He's dinged but he says he's all right.
|
|
neebee
Social climber
calif/texas
|
|
|
Aug 30, 2016 - 11:16pm PT
|
hey there say... just another bump,
for these folks, that are posting new stuff...
:)
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
|
Aug 31, 2016 - 08:35pm PT
|
I was driving up to the Black Hills with Bonnie Kamps and asked her about the limericks that Bob and Mark Powell used to kick around while out climbing. She told me she didn't pay attention to them enough to remember any and besides "I could tell by the way they were laughing that I wasn't supposed to hear them anyway."
|
|
Fan
climber
|
|
|
Aug 31, 2016 - 09:19pm PT
|
Yes, Mark had quite a store of off color limericks. It was when he got together with his old, dear friend, George Sessions that the tone of their laughter strongly suggested that it was a bawdy conversation.
|
|
Lorenzo
Trad climber
Portland Oregon
|
|
|
Aug 31, 2016 - 10:31pm PT
|
There's an old cobbler known here as Locker
Who seems just a bit off his rocker
He fixes your shoe
using way too much glue
The effects? you can read on the Taco.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
A ragged young dirtbag named Chuck
Had the world's most incredible luck.
Found a Salathe' pin
With thr 'biner still in
Said Chessler, "I'll give you five bucks!"
|
|
Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
|
|
The Taco’s a forum for climbers.
Some turn out to be kooky old whiners.
When polititards rant,
The rest of us chant,
Let’s just become rock climbing rhymers.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
IN PRAISE OF PINS
A piton will open a can.
It will spread peanut butter or jam.
It will serve as a fork
Eating canned beans and pork -
Just try that one using a cam!
|
|
Lorenzo
Trad climber
Portland Oregon
|
|
Once Stannard, while risking a whip
Called for slack as he jumped for the lip.
When asked how he knew
That the route would go through?
He replied with a shrug he knew "zip".
|
|
thebravecowboy
climber
The Good Places
|
|
A man named Sloan who just couldn't quietly drill away all alone
put himself on the spot
- either a dick or a tw#t -
said those wanting to pick at the bone.
*I know nonesuch of the man or his deeds, just the furor. ABBA ain't limericky, I know.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
Remember this when on The Nose.
God forbid you should be on Boot Flake
When there's a significant quake.
Though remains might be found -
You'd be so finely ground
You would look like a hamburger steak.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
There was a young dirtbag named Jones
Who delighted in trundling stones.
But it came as a shock
When he fell with the rock-
Maybe Facelift will locate his bones.
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
Gotta love that old school dark humor.
Limericks are great fun just like this thread.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
I'm somewhat immobilized for a couple of days, so here we go again. Sorry about that!
On a ledge drenched with precipitation
Warren Harding proposed a libation;
"Though it's not the right sort,
In a storm, ANY port
Will be adequate for the occasion!"
(Okay, okay, I'll shut up!)
W.
|
|
guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
|
|
Wayne Wayne keep them coming!
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
A climber by the name of Wayne Merry
Didn't mind if the going got scary.
"I must drive this piton,"
Said the man with a yawn
Or the lot of us soon they will bury.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
Wow - We've tapped a deep dark vein of something here!
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
While mining for a laugh in the dark
Up above came a curse and a spark
"Warren's got to be thrilled"
As he labored and drilled
"With this setting dramatic and stark"
|
|
Lorenzo
Trad climber
Portland Oregon
|
|
A CONVERSATION:
on a slab once , a problem I faced.
scared I'd fall 90 feet on his waist,
I cried "Parker- watch me".
"Wasn't worried" said he,
"Had my knife out, in case you misplaced".
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
The towering Lost Arrow spire
Is a climb to which some folks aspire.
Does its phallic appearance
Attract these adherents?
I don't think I'll even inquire.
|
|
mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
|
|
Well-penned, Wayne.
Harding laughed at a joke Merry told.
It was scandalous, making fun of the old.
Fred Beckey's Lost Arrow points
At cracks, fissures and joints
And never freezes no matter how cold.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
Maybe this belongs in a different OT thread, but I'll throw it in anyway:
While one hopes that he isn't electable
He has made certain language respectable.
What was once impolite
Now seems quite all right -
He has made the word "as#@&%e" acceptable.
Sorry, back to climbing:
It is fun to poeticize climbing.
Most words lend themselves nicely to rhyming.
But - climbing in Asia?
I'm hit with aphasia -
..........and I'll be damned if I can find a rhyme for Chomo Lungma or Ama Dablam! Somebody give it a shot.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
The image of Guido leading in a Speedo is priceless!
|
|
Steve Grossman
Trad climber
Seattle, WA
|
|
Ama Dablam---> aplomb perhaps?
Chomolungma is tougher---> among ya?
But not as tough as Guido's predicament!
|
|
ruppell
climber
|
|
I climbed to the top with glee.
It was my first V10 you see.
On the way down
I fell to the ground
And hurt my f*#king knee
|
|
guido
Trad climber
Santa Cruz/New Zealand/South Pacific
|
|
There once was a climber named Merry
His routes so bold and quite scary
On the infamous Worst Erorr
He screamed out in terror
“Oh God I’ve lost my cherry.”
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
You guys are cracking me up! Crag - nice going on Chomo Lungma! That's the most imaginative thing I've seen since Ogden Nash rhymed Los Angeles with tarantulas.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
I'm sort of pinned down for a few days with little to do to fight off Alzheimer's except to write limericks. Please forgive. W.
There was a young dirtbag named Murray
Whose finances were his chief worry.
But then came the crash
And he could have had cash -
But it went up in smoke in a hurry.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
A notable number of climbers
Are competent limerick rhymers.
Perhaps it's a skill
Of the mentally ill,
Or just a prelude to Alzheimer's.
|
|
mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
|
|
Hybridean verse
who needs limericks
show ‘em the phloem poem
moves ‘em ev’ry time
But let's stick with the one who done brung us.
Unknown but to some here among us
He's not from Wisconsin
He's not old BURT BRONSON,
And they say, "His two balls are humungous."
Also, He once said,
planning to rock the rock world,
so seriously:
"Let's climb El Cap in a day,"
Said Bridwell to Long and Westbay.
"We'll all get our share
Of leading up there.
I'm sure it will go so what say?"
|
|
mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
|
|
Chomolungmama*
a “Yokohama mama”
dines on raw llama
*Her real name is Nan Tucket
And she has a full bucket,
Filled up with dope
(It sure isn't soap).
She says, "No more dirtbaggin', just fuggit."
|
|
mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
|
|
There was a smart poster named Clode
Claiming Portland was his abode
His real name's MacInnes
This poem needs a finish
But now I must use the comm-ode
About The Brave Cowboy you've heard
Never posts a discouraging word
He has a brave pup
Who always keeps up
When looking for a fossilized turd
Holding my end up here, Wayne.
|
|
Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
|
|
Guess I'll give it a go...
There once was a climber whose name was John Long
Did the nose in a day then said it was a song
But little did we know
When he thought he might blow
He had fetched out his nuts with the stroke of a long dong
A climber named bushman once fell way too far
And stretched all the strings on his climbing guitar
He would play out of tune
While he bayed at the moon
'Till his partner backed over the damned thing with his car
High on the top of the peak Annapurna
Lived a monk who'd proclaimed to the world he would, "spurn ya!"
But he came down to earth
When his girlfriend gave birth
She said, "those old condoms weren't safe, tried to warn ya!"
...please stop me if I've gone too far.
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
I wondered how long you could resist, Bushman!
A few more days of this and we'll have a book!
STECK SALATHE'
By the end of the Sentinel venture
They were desperately needing a quencher.
Salathe' took the last -
Steck looked on aghast -
"I'll yutht uthe thith to rinth off my denthure!"
|
|
Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
|
|
^^^^^
Wayne, I laughed so hard when I got to "yutht" I could barely finish reading the last line,
brought tears to my eyes.
|
|
mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
|
|
Once Don Willhans met a young climber named Tim
Young Tim ragged him just on a whim
Don took off his flat cap
There was a loud thunderclap
Saying nothing, old Don had jutht hit Tim.
--The Dales Bard
|
|
climber bob
Social climber
maine
|
|
there once was a climber named alex
who's style was fine like italics
he could keep his composure despite the exposure
and never end up in the talus..
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
A dignified climber named Fitschen
Was seen scratching and cursing and bitchin'
He said, "This is no joke -
It's that damn poison oak -
It's got onto my balls and they're itchin'!
|
|
Fossil climber
Trad climber
Atlin, B. C.
|
|
Lucky you! Did he start you climbing?
Another:
Nobody could climb like Chuck Pratt.
Old timers will verify that.
He could on-sight five nine
With a gut full of wine,
While juggling three balls and a bat.
|
|
GDavis
Social climber
SOL CAL
|
|
There was once a clean cut boulderer named Daniel
Who made sex with his gay Cocker Spaniel
When along came Dick
Who showed him a trick
Now it's more oral less manual
-Shockley, illicitly stolen
|
|
Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
|
|
Though he'd climbed in Verdon, the drunken old frog
Never climbed in the Valley without humping a log
So when the old tree gave way
From the Arches one day
The only thing recovered was the hair of the dog
|
|
mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
|
|
We were climbing the Arches one September
It was so cold, it felt like mid-December
It got much too cold
We were not at all bold
It was the worst climb that I can remember
|
|
mouse from merced
Trad climber
The finger of fate, my friends, is fickle.
|
|
When climbing with a Frenchie named Frog,
We came to the old rotten log.
He looked long at it
Saying, “Merde!”, which means “Shit!”
And so he penduled using a Clog.
|
|
Bushman
climber
The state of quantum flux
|
|
There once was climber high up on El Cap
Who was so constipated that when he took a nap
Tied with slack on the ledge
He slipped off the edge
To wake with his britches all soiled with crap
|
|
| Messages 1 - 109 of total 109 in this topic |
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!