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nah000
climber
no/w/here
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Jun 26, 2016 - 10:54pm PT
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^^^^
and the best part is he's not just an aficionado of the normative... which is crazy enough...
instead he's part of a sport that was like "boats that float: that's for little boys... what this sport needs is more drowning sensations..."
hahahaha...
never seen nor heard of this sport before and am honestly not yet convinced as to whether this is the stupidest, craziest, or sickest thing i've seen yet... it's up there with muni and water snowmobile racing in terms of the "you've got to be kidding me?" factor.
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nathanael
climber
CA
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Jun 26, 2016 - 11:41pm PT
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[Click to View YouTube Video]
Wait this is actually the dumbest sport ever...
Let me just tape my legs to a boogie board, tape a frisbee to each hand, and go try to drown myself.
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nah000
climber
no/w/here
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Jun 27, 2016 - 06:15pm PT
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^^^^
omg that video is hilarious...
sorry SLR, but i'm leaning towards squirt boating being a sport that must have been invented by bubbles and the trailer park boys during a drunken bender...
it's a bit reminiscent of a solo form of synchronized swimming... but instead of being in time to music it is in time to a random beat of attempting to not drown... and in replace of grace and mastery over the medium of water it has all of the outward elegance and panache of tuesday night bowling where they fill the gutters with the blow up bumpers... :)
ie. while i'm sure it's fun to engage in, that is one sport with a face made for radio.
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nathanael
climber
CA
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Jun 27, 2016 - 10:08pm PT
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Hahaha good description nah000. I've been chuckling over this new-found sport and trying to figure out what an appropriate analogy is. Mind you I'm not trying to hate, I'm sure it's great fun for the participants. But when you (SLR) start saying
this is REAL kayaking and
no pussy high-volume Tupperware here
it seems a bit much hahaha.
I think the best analogy I can think of is in skiing.
Say someone posts up something like this:
[Click to View YouTube Video]
You can come over to chime in:
As a skier myself, I can tell you that such a descent does not require skills, only stupidity. What "skills" did you see in the video? I only saw a moron hanging on for dear life.
Then if asked about your skiing credentials, you come in swinging with this:
Hey, I still ski! But I'm not on some giant pontoons, we're doing steep blue runs on cross country skate skis. You ain't lived until you've tried that. No pussy wide skis here! This is REAL skiing. Here's a video of me demonstrating what skiing is all about.
[Click to View YouTube Video]
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Sierra Ledge Rat
Mountain climber
Old and Broken Down in Appalachia
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Jun 29, 2016 - 04:14pm PT
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Nice try natahanael, but your analogy is misguided
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nathanael
climber
CA
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Jun 29, 2016 - 04:21pm PT
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Well I don't claim to be an expert by any means. I'd love to hear why doing class 4 in a squirt is more "real" and less "pussy" than high class 5 in a higher volume boat. Feels like you're just choosing worse equipment to add to the challenge.
Unless it's the artistry of squirt boating. Then I'll just admit that I don't see it but maybe it's there.
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dikhed
climber
State of fugue and disbelief
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Jun 29, 2016 - 05:47pm PT
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Stern squirts?...anybody?
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clifff
Mountain climber
golden, rollin hills of California
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A Portland, Oregon, man drowned Sunday after his kayak overturned in the rapids on Cherry Bomb Gorge.
The Tuolumne County Sheriff’s Office identified the man as Logan Farrell, 35.
The Sheriff’s Office said Farrell and a group of friends had hiked to Cherry Bomb Gorge on Cherry Creek near Groveland. When Farrell’s kayak overturned his friends were able to pull him out but he was unconscious. They performed CPR and called authorities on a satellite phone.
The Tuolumne County Sheriff’s Search and Rescue Team responded as did a Stanislaus County Sheriff’s Office helicopter. Farrell was dead when they arrived.
“This Gorge is a popular destination for experienced kayakers. Search and Rescue members described the current gorge conditions as very treacherous and dangerous due to the high water level and speed of flow,” the Sheriff’s Office release said.
http://www.uniondemocrat.com/localnews/4479296-151/oregon-man-35-drowns-kayaking-near-groveland?referrer=fpblob
http://www.google.com/#q=cherry+bomb+gorge+kayak
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wilbeer
Mountain climber
Terence Wilson greeneck alleghenys,ny,
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Sorry for that boater described above.
This can be a very dangerous sport ,no doubt.
I would try some of this,does not look to pushy and I know you could .........https://www.facebook.com/outsidetelevision/videos/10153891794809032/
My old friend Dan Mcdevitt running the Merced.[I believe]
And believe me ,I have no problem walking around something.
The river gods take the stupid.
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YYZ
climber
Alabama
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Jul 12, 2016 - 01:23pm PT
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What "skills" did you see in the video? A timely brace that saved him from flipping over... and grinding off his upper body down to the skirt, maybe?
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fear
Ice climber
hartford, ct
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Jul 12, 2016 - 01:28pm PT
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For anyone to claim "No Skills" in the video just means they don't paddle hard and have no idea.
Kinda like watching Honnold move up Half-dome ropeless and say... "Bahh... just another loon".
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geiger
Trad climber
Doylestown pa
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Jul 12, 2016 - 01:41pm PT
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I first saw this on a boater site and they were all psyched and not calling it "suicidal" (my word but sorta the summary of some of the comments here). This is like the 5.14 of boating. Not for everyone one, but for those that work on it, a total rush. We each have our own need for adrenaline.
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nature
climber
Boulder, CO
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Jun 12, 2017 - 10:19pm PT
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Is that the section just below where you hike out to Tuolumne River from The Meadows?
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kunlun_shan
Mountain climber
SF, CA
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Jun 12, 2017 - 11:22pm PT
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^ nature, its the very short section of Tenaya Creek on the slab, downstream from Tenaya Lake, below Olmsted Point, here:
https://goo.gl/maps/c2vW96C3Lfr
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mooch
Trad climber
Tribal Base Camp (Kernville Annex)
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Jun 13, 2017 - 11:34am PT
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Actually, the Moore family is from Kernville.
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cleo
Social climber
wherever you go, there you are
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Jun 13, 2017 - 01:18pm PT
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Evan was enrolled in college in Sac for a year or two (and was playing football).
But yes, he's from Kernville - Tom Moore owns Sierra South.
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Rock!...oopsie.
Trad climber
the pitch above you
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Jun 13, 2017 - 05:17pm PT
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OK - I wanna modify natahanael's metaphor just a bit. Maybe squirt boating can be a subthread on the "Nobody cares if you tele" thread?
I'm not meaning to bag on SLR as the squirt thing is definitely its own fully legit area but it does strike me as being very parallel to the tele world.
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wilbeer
Mountain climber
Terence Wilson greeneck alleghenys,ny,
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Jun 14, 2017 - 08:04pm PT
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I am going to say this,SLR is a friend of mine because of a good friend ,Jim Albano.
A guy I handed a pair of skis and boots to 20 years ago,he was one of the first snowboarders .He could telemark ski ,first run ,right out of the box,like you read about it.
Pisses me off to this day.
Jim was a unbelievable goalie growing up playing hockey with me.
Athlete .
Class 5 creek boater,SLR hung with him,running creeks and adding to AWA streamkeeper data.They added a lot.Good work for paddlers over here and both are revered to this day over here .
Real serious water.
Yeah ,like the Tele thread except,you don't drown when you f*#k up telemark skiing.
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