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Gene
climber
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May 12, 2015 - 03:37pm PT
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mooSTD
Brandon for the win!
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NutAgain!
Trad climber
South Pasadena, CA
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May 12, 2015 - 04:34pm PT
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This thread is full of moosogynists. Time to freeze it. Oh, that would make a moosicle.
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Reilly
Mountain climber
The Other Monrovia- CA
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May 12, 2015 - 04:42pm PT
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JB, don't they serve amoose bouche in Quebec?
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clinker
Trad climber
Santa Cruz, California
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May 12, 2015 - 05:27pm PT
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I've heard moose are massive.
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zBrown
Ice climber
Brujò de la Playa y Perrito Ruby
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May 12, 2015 - 07:29pm PT
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Just saw it Ghost. Funny as hell.
Usually want to throw in something about moose turd pie though.
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MisterE
Gym climber
Being In Sierra Happy Of Place
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May 12, 2015 - 08:58pm PT
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The only thing missing is mooseknuckle...
Please, no.
%^)
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Ricky D
Trad climber
Sierra Westside
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May 12, 2015 - 09:37pm PT
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Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretti nasti
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Phantom X
Trad climber
Honeycomb Hideout
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May 13, 2015 - 07:18am PT
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Thank you for posting this tender romance.
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mcreel
climber
Barcelona
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Very amoosing thread, I missed it first time around.
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Roadie
Trad climber
moab UT
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Pretty f*#king funny.
Happy birthday Moose!
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L
climber
Just livin' the dream
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Pretty f*#king funny.
Happy birthday Moose!
What he said ^^^^^^^
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johntp
Trad climber
socal
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Very amoosing thread, I missed it first time around.
ditto.
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TimH
Trad climber
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For those who are REALLY into moose:
The Moose Song
Words by: Thomas Payton, et. al.
Tune of: Sweet Betsy From Pike
When I was a young girl (man) I used to like boys (girls),
I fondled their tights (bodies) and played with their toys (curls),
But me boy (girl) friend ran off with a salesman named Bruce,
You'd never get treatment like that from a moose!
CHORUS:
So it's moose, moose, I like a moose,
I've never had anything quite like a moose,
I've had many lovers, my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose!
Now when I'm in need of a very good lay,
I go to me stables and gets me some hay,
I opens me window and spreads it around,
'Cause moose always comes when there's hay on the ground!
CHORUS
Now I've made it with all kinds of beasties with hair,
I'd make it with snakes if their fangs were not there,
I've made it with walrus, two ducks and a goose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose!
CHORUS
Now gorillas are fine for a Saturday night,
And lions and tigers, they puts up a fight,
But it just ain't the same when you slams your caboose
As the feeling you gets when you humps with a moose!
CHORUS
I've tried many beasties on land or on sea
I've even tried hump-backs that humped back on me!
Sharks are quite good, tho they're hard to pull loose
But on dry land there is nothing quite like a moose!
CHORUS
Woodchucks are all right except that they bite
And foxes and rabbits won't last thru the night!
Cows would be fun, but they're hard to seduce
But you never need worry should you find a moose!
CHORUS
Step in my study, and trophies you'll find
A black striped tiger and scruffy maned lion
You'll know the elephant by his ivory tooth
And the one that's a-winking, you know is the mooth!
CHORUS
The lion succumbed to a thirty-ought-six
Machine guns and tigers I've proved do not mix
The elephant fell by a bomb with a fuse
But I won't tell a soul how I did in the muse!
CHORUS
I've found many women attracted to me
A few of them have had me over for tea
Some say that they love me when they're feeling loose
But I'd trade the world's women for one lovely moose!
CHORUS
The good Lord made Adam, and then He made Eve
Said He: "If you sin now, I'll ask you to leave!"
They left not because of Eve's forbidden fruit
But 'cause Adam decided the moose there were cute!
CHORUS
The English are said to like boars who've had corn
The Celtics just dream of the young unicorn
The Germans, it's said, just need leather and rope
But give me a moose and I'll no longer mope!
CHORUS
Now I've broken the laws in this god-awful state
They've put me in prison and locked up the gate
They say that tomorrow I'll swing from a noose
But my last night I'll spend with a good sexy moose!
CHORUS
Next morning the Governor's word reached my ears
"We've commuted your sentence to ninety-nine years!"
"You won't get parole; not a five minute's truce,
And your friend goes to Sing-Sing, he's so big-a-moose!"
CHORUS
(SLOWLY) Now that I'm old and advanced in me years,
I'll look back on me life, and I'll shed me no tears,
As I sit in me chair with me glass of mateuse,
And play hide the salami with Marvin (Millie) the Moose!
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