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Truthdweller
Trad climber
San Diego, CA
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Parents never said thanks.
That's okay, your initial motivation wasn't that you'd get a "thank you." Scripture calls that love, the willing sacrificial giving of oneself, for the benefit of another, without thought of return (ref John 3:16).
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 9, 2013 - 07:50pm PT
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I'm kind of in the 'not fearing death' camp as well, but sometimes something so violent and unexpected happens.
I'm also in the 'not scared at the time, just reacting' camp. Fear is more of a reminiscence, unless...
You get violently jumped. It's happened to me, I didn't stand a chance, and I felt fear. However, I only feared for my health, not my life.
After the hospital visit, I was angry at my own fear. It's such a complex subject, fear.
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GhoulweJ
Trad climber
El Dorado Hills, CA
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Brandon, I hear ya 'bout fear being complexed and all.
One time I drew down face to face with a guy.
My jaw locked and determined. He just went away... Thank gawd!
EDIT: Truthdweller, Thanks ;)
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Brandon-
climber
The Granite State.
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Topic Author's Reply - Feb 9, 2013 - 08:20pm PT
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I've feared what I may have to do many times. Be it at the top of a chute, below a certain runout section, or in a back alley.
It's the cognizance of risk that creates fear. When you either have to sh#t or get off the pot, so to speak.
I find that I feel fear briefly, then I'm fortunate enough to be able to compartmentalize said feelings. Fight or flight, I guess. I fight.
This topic intrigues me.
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MisterE
Social climber
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It's funny, I never mentioned the Alaska rescue in my "Near Death Experiences" thread (linked above) because I trusted the "Sylvia" to make it through the rescue - and she did. It was just that staring at the ice-cold waves towering over us that struck the notes of fear for a moment...or a while.
As has been stated, when death is near, there is a calmness and focus to either avoid or accept what is coming, I have found - as well as others. Also (as mentioned) there is often no time to be afraid.
It was knowing I was going to go for the ride of my life and get the cold-water smack-down from the pacific that really frightened me. The sheer power of the storm before the rogue wave was the build-up...that feeling that you are just a small element of a force so much larger than you, and yet: here you are in a place you have no business being to save some stranded souls...Not one of us hesitated when the Skipper asked us if we would do it.
We towed that boat to safety in crazy following seas that tested our captain, the Sylvia and the tensile strength of our tow-line.
Watching a boat you are towing tower above you 40 feet and 100 behind you, then come rushing down while you take in line like a madman on the hydraulic hauler, then ease it out as you mount the next roller.
Mad exercises in the open seas.
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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I take back what I said earlier.
I did get insanely scared when I did my first BASE jump. This was almost 30 years ago and the gear was total cave man. The gear was just getting there for it to be possible. Now you go through a mentoring process, buy BASE specific gear, you name it. You can even go through a first jump school.
I jumped El Cap on my 24th jump. Back then you had to start with five static line jumps, then work your way up to longer and longer delays. I had been off of student status for only ten jumps or so.
I was up there with my buddies and Walt who tagged along. I tell ya. There was 3 feet of snow on top and I was standing there with my gear on ten feet from the edge waiting my turn. I was so scared that I thought I was going to vomit.
I went 3rd (last) and the microsecond that my feet left the exit, my entire mind became supercalm and hyper aware. That is one damn cool experience.
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Ksolem
Trad climber
Monrovia, California
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Feb 10, 2013 - 12:08am PT
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I'm kind of in the 'not fearing death' camp as well, but sometimes something so violent and unexpected happens.
I'll put it like this:
I'm not at all afraid of being dead. It is the transition which concerns me...
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BASE104
Social climber
An Oil Field
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Feb 10, 2013 - 12:18am PT
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^^^Yeah. What he said. I just hope it doesn't hurt.^^^^
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MisterE
Social climber
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Feb 10, 2013 - 12:23am PT
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It really does come down to that Kris - well put...
although they have pretty good drugs and hospice to make even THAT part easier now.
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mechrist
Gym climber
South of Heaven
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Feb 10, 2013 - 01:10am PT
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I literally wet myself when my neighbor chased me out of his garden when I was 6. I was dared to steal some vegetables. I snuck over there and had just picked a tomato when the 6' tall dude came charging out of his house. Before I could even take a breath he was towering over me. I'm telling you all this in the strictest of confidence. I know we're all friends and this won't leave the Taco.
I'm happy to report I have not lost control of my bladder since.
I've been pretty scurd the 4 times I've found myself looking down the wrong end of a gun barrel, but I held my sh#t.
I was skurd when 5 of us got jumped by a group of 10+ high school kids, but I managed. Unfortunately Jeff didn't manage as well... lost 3 teeth, had 4 broken ribs, and had a fractured skull... pretty brutal for a 14 year old.
Most frightened I have ever been climbing was looking for the descent on East Butt of Middle. We had done the first 3 pitches of Central Pillar earlier that day. Finishing EButt around dark we convinced ourselves the rap was "just to the climber's L." We found some anchors and started rapping. After 2 raps I saw some fresh chalk on what I thought was a pretty cool looking climb... turns out it was the top of P8 on E Butt... so we climbed back up. It was exciting climbing up through them trees, but what really skurd me was when I put my hand on a 4' boulder to look over a sloping edge for some anchors. It slid about 6 inches and was less than that from going over the edge. It was at that time I learned to levitate. Sometimes, when I get really really really fuked up and start thinking of death, it is easy to convince myself that I actually died that day and this is the resulting dream/nightmare.
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MisterE
Social climber
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Feb 10, 2013 - 01:21am PT
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Sometimes, when I get really really really fuked up and start thinking of death, I imagine I actually died that day and this is the resulting dream.
You imagine or you believe? Why do you need to get really really fuked up to consider death?
As I mentioned, all living beings have a 100% mortality rate...except for the Tardigrade...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade
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mechrist
Gym climber
South of Heaven
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Feb 10, 2013 - 01:26am PT
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I consider death often... several times a day... but generally in a philosophical/intellectual/shallow sort of way. A common phrase I have repeated to myself far too often over the last couple decades is "there's nothing I HAVE to do, except die." I'm well aware of that aspect of my future.
The experience I was talking about is more transcendental.
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Bruce Morris
Social climber
Belmont, California
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Feb 10, 2013 - 01:46am PT
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There's fear, and then there's panic. Fear is of some external danger. Panic occurs when there's some internal threat to your existence. Fear is felt in the brain in the amygdala, they don't know yet where panic is experienced. But if a person does not have an amygdala, they don't register any fear, even if attacked with a knife or gun. They're fearless.
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