perswig, what is second, is my English as a language
What I meant, was my vacation house.
You are invited to our house in Minden, since you made a joke! (our first house location is not atractive)
MH, I broke my ankle when I fell when bouldering in the gym.
man, I am slow, I just got your joke, LOL u'r in!
>
> A guy walks into a bar with a monkey. The monkey grabbed some olives
> off the bar and ate them.
> Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them.
> He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls.
> To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed
> it whole.
>
> The bartender looked at the guy and said, "Did you see what your Monkey
> just did?"
> "No, what?"
> "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"
>
> "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in
> sight, don't worry, I'll pay for the cue ball."
> The guy finished his drink, paid his bill, paid for the stuff the Monkey
> ate and left.
>
> Two weeks later the guy came back, and had his monkey with him. He
> ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar. The Monkey
> found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt,
> pulled it out, and then ate it.
>
> Then the monkey found a peanut, and again stuck it up his butt, pulled it
> out, and ate it. The bartender asked, "Did you see what your monkey just
> did?"
> "No, what?" replied the man.
> "Well, he stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled
> them out, and ate them!"
>
> "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
> "He will eat anything, but ever since he had to sh#t out that cue ball, he
> measures everything first."
>
>
Hey Moosedrool if I can stump you with a riddle can i come?
A Father and his Son are involved in a serious car crash.
2 ambulances come to the accident scene.
1 ambulance takes the Father to Hospital A.
the other ambulance takes the Son to Hospital B.
2 different ambulances, 2 different hospitals.
At Hospital B the Son is on the operating table in the ER.
When the Doctor walks in and looks at the boy the Doctor says;
"I can't operate on that boy, thats my Son"
I am not sure if I should look at the titties. It may create a hard to solve problem for me...
Near as I can see, you broke your foot, not your hand. So whats the problem? Besides, crutches are chick magnets. You just need a good story to go with it. Bouldering at the gym doesn't cut it. It should have..
One or more of these of.. mountains, rockfall, crevasses, base jumping, extreme skiing. or surfing.
One of these, rescuing partner, risking life trying to save girlfriend who ends up dying, rescuing an animal. ( dead girlfriends are perfect. they make you seem tragic, and yet somehow desirable because some other woman wanted you. )
It could include fearsome storms or being lost.
and finally.. It should have..
Goats.. definitely needs goats. If you can't figure this part out then you are beyond hopeless. Every great story has goats in it somewhere.
Gud morning!
I slept most of the night. The pain is minimal and the drugs keep me happy.
SuperTaco never sleeps! More people joined the Fundraiser, or should we call it the Mooseraiser?
klk,
Are you saying that you will bring a keg of Moose Drool? Urin, brother!
Munge,
You made my morning! Urin! (Bud??? It is NOT beer)
John M,
Since I am happily married, I don't use pick up stories any more, but your points are very gud!
Kaholatingtong,
Thank you for your contribution. Urine!
Survival,
“The gym” accident is only a cover. The only thing I can say is: Afghanistan, rescue operation, 7,000’ vertical, a baby in my hands, rappel, enemy cuts the rope, 300’ free fall, 6300’ slide, 310’ free fall to the ground, ankle broken, baby unscratched.
Thank you for the beautiful pics!
“The gym” accident is only a cover. The only thing I can say is: Afghanistan, rescue operation, 7,000’ vertical, a baby in my hands, rappel, enemy cuts the rope, 300’ free fall, 6300’ slide, 310’ free fall to the ground, ankle broken, baby unscratched.
Big Mike,
I followed your advantures in California. You had a good time. If you want to explore the Lke Tahoe area, let me know. Urin!
Thank you for the pics! When I look at them, my foot doesn't hurt anymore :)
Unfortunately, the role of Thaddeus Stevens in Lincoln was already taken, and besides, it called for a right club foot, not left. Otherwise, it might be just the role for you.
Mighty Hiker,
Are you saying that I broke a wrong foot and I have to break the other one?!
But you are welcome to our house anyway!
Thank you Cosmic! Me like the animation and the music!
Haha zBrown, more urin for you!
Now, something from me for you people.
A Short History of SCUBA Diving (mostly my daughter’s)
I was nagging my daughter, Martyna, to get a SCUBA diving certificate for many years. Years ago she did one supervised dive in Hawaii and she liked it very much. But then she was busy studying and didn’t have time to get certified. Finally, a few years ago she completed the course and got certified in Monterey. I was happy. Finally I had a buddy to go diving with. Right away I made a plan to go diving with her at Point Lobos State Reserve near Monterey. I dived there before and I knew she would like the site. I made reservation, and soon we were on our way.
Missing photo ID#277760
I wanted to dive a little further from the shore, but we didn’t have a decent boat. We had only this little rubber toy-boat. Martyna had her doubts, but I was optimistic. “It will be fine Martyna, because I made this plan.” She said something like “that’s what I am afraid of.” I pretended I haven’t heard that. What can go wrong, right?
We got to the diving site called Whaler’s Reef. The visibility was poor, but we were determined to give it a try anyway.
Missing photo ID#277761
Our boat was a bit small, but we managed. I just had to sit on top of some gear.
Missing photo ID#277762
Missing photo ID#277763
We took off. People on the shore were amused for sure, and Martyna couldn’t stop laughing. After about 20 min of very awkward paddling, we got to the diving site. I tied the boat to kelp, and we started to gear up. Since there was not enough space in the boat, we had to do it in water (cold, I must add). First, I helped Martyna then I jumped in and got ready. It took us more than half an hour to gear up!
Last check of the equipment, and “ready?”, and we are descending. The visibility is 4-5 feet. And it is cold. As we slowly descend, Martyna is signaling “something wrong with my ear”. I signal “ascend to the surface”. Turns out she has a problem with equilibration. We try to descend again, but the problem persists. I am thinking about going back, but Martyna wants to try one more time. We slowly ascend to the bottom, about 20 feet. All I can see is Martyna because she is no more than 5 feet from me, and kelp because it is everywhere. A fish swims by. Wow. Unfortunately, Martyna is not OK. It is her ear again. I have no choice but to end our dive. We get back to the boat, and Martyna still feels some pain. She blew too hard trying to equilibrate and injured her ear. We put our gear back on a boat and I paddle back to the shore. We are laughing that it was the shortest dive in the history of SCUBA diving. We pack everything back and go home.
Unfortunately it turned out that Martyna ruptured her ear drum. Eventually she had surgery and they grafted a piece of her skin to close the hole in her ear drum.
She never went diving again. She says she would like to do it in a swimming pool first. I agree she needs to start slow, maybe even take the whole course again.
In spite of that, Martyna says it was one of her best adventures! For me it was too.
Later on she convinced me to start climbing, and everybody knows how that ended!
rI am impressed Cosmic. You are a man of many talents. I am ony "Advanced" from PADI. This year I went diving only once. Again, it was in Monterey. Below 40 feet visibility was about 10 feet. Did one dive and went back home.
Crimpergirl,
Thank you. But I don't get your question. Fight?
Moose how's that foot doin? we were walking up to the fortress and I was thinking about how much you like that approach. let me know when yer heald up, kenny
Good Morning.
It is sunny outside. S&P 500 is up 0.81%. I slept fairly well and I am happy.
Cosmic, I have decompression tables just in case, but I use a computer.
Hey Locker, welcome to the Mooseraiser. Please don’t get jealous, Cosmic is just my friend :)
Thanks Kenny. Yeah, the approach to Fortress was hard for me when I had two good legs. It’s gonna be much harder, for sure.
Big Mike, thank you for the hint.
A little bragging. Martyna (my daughter and partner in crime) got nominated for a reward. Below is a fragment from the nomination letter:
Dr. Citkowicz has, in our opinion, enormous promise for making important future contributions to quantitative research in both psychology and education. She is extremely well trained statistically, and her decision to delay taking a job in favor of pursuing postdoctoral experience with one of the world’s leading educational statisticians () was not only a wise career choice but also a choice likely to improve her quantitative and professional skills by much more than the proverbial “jnd”. Within a five to ten year period, we believe she will be one of the premier young quantitative psychologists in the United States. She is exceptionally talented, hard-working, and the kind of person one would want as a colleague. She is without doubt extremely deserving of the [] Dissertation Award, and she has our strongest recommendation for it.
Plus, I know what prison looks like and would like to avoid going there for an extended "visit". Unleash some pent up rage here and things will get ugly. :)
During the transition from the Clinton Presidency to the Bush Presidency Bill invited George over for tea. After several cups of Earl Grey George had to relieve himself. That night George said to Laura "I can't believe that guy he has a solid gold urinal." And Bill said to Hillary "I can't believe that guy he peed in my saxophone".
Cheers and heal up before geezerhood sets in.
Credit to Ydpl8s aka Scott Mossman for the inspiration to this 'toon.
Credit: philo
Oh and just in case you are a fan of American Football,
Hmm. the hoof is getting funky. The biggest problem is to find a foot position where it doesn't hurt. The best position is to lay on my stomach whit the hoof elevated on a pillow and hanging freely. It works for sleeping, but it is difficult to do anything else. So, during the day I lay on my back with my hoof elevated and I toss and turn. It doesn't hurt terribly, but it's not fun either.
Hey Philo, thank you for chipping in. The jokes are hilarious!
I am not a football fan, but with your incentive I might reconsider :)
URIN!
Hey Moose a word of advise, make the transition from laying to standing gradually. The rush of blood and pressure to the injury can be excruciating. Go slow Heal fast.
But seriously, you help me a lot. Every time when I see a new entry, I get excited. I read, I laugh, I forget about the pain, and the time goes faster.
Hey M,drool:
Good morning I just read your TR of climbing with your Daughter,
I like your witty writing style, good stuff man.
Ya ready for another riddle?
A boy and his dog Spot, are on opposite sides of a river.
The river is long, wide, deep and full of water.
There is no bridge over the river or tunnel under the river.
There is no boat, raft, etc. to float across the river.
The boy calls to his dog, "Here Spot, come here Spot!"
The dog Spot crosses the river but never gets wet.
How did Spot do that?
Tad
PS, your party in Minden is gettin large, how many are in now?
MisterE, thank you for your contribution, but you need to do better. It is a funny clip, though. I share Lolli’s concern, but can’t help laughing.
Read the fine print in my first post. You are on the reserve list :)
Lolli,
Welcome to Mooseraiser! I like puns. Sometimes I don’t understand them because English is not my native language. I did understand your’s:) You are absolutely in! (or urin!)
Tad,
This one looks easy. The river if frozen, right?
List of my future guests in Minden:
1 Perswig
2 Mighty Hiker
3 Skully
4 Ron Anderson
5 zBrown
6 ncrockclimber
7 Cosmic
8 eKat
9 Toker Villain
10 John M
11 T Hocking
12 Fish Finder
13 dee ee
14 Anastasia
15 Footloose
16 survival
17 klk
18 Mungeclimber
19 kaholatingtong
20 Gene
21 Big Mike
22 Crimpergirl
23 Climbski2
24 Locker
25 Kennyt
26 Philo
27 Master E (?)
28 Lolli
I come to Minden often. I will post my planed trips to Minden a month in advance, and whoever has time and desire to visit me, will respond. Like I said before, I can sleep 10 including 4 on the floor.
My first trip to Minden depends on my recovery, maybe March?
It's MOOSE...... Lake. Hopefully the view brings you a little cheer for the day.
Wish you a FULL recovery!!
Credit: Powder
This video is an old one. But every time when I watch it, it always brings me a BIG smile on my face. Though it's from the Web, I thought I'd share anyways. :]
The real multi-millionaire: Damn-it, there's a simple one-dollar among my money!
Credit: Marlow
The difference between Swedes, Norwegians and Danes (a lesson learned from SAS):
When an unpopular corporate decision is made: Swedes take it stoically and implement immediately Norwegians show their resistance, wait and wait and wait until the last minute and implement Danes smile, say yes and never implement
Hey Moose,
Just one of a couple... I am a program associate for social media development of a local non-profit, I manage the local climbing gym, and I coach a competitive climber... keeps me from getting bored...
Neebee,
You are too kind. The rules of Fun Raiser forbid me from taking any material gifts. Your post is good enough for me, because I know you care for stranger you never met! I started this thread as a joke. But then I realized how many people actually do care. I know only a few people from SuperTopo in person. Isn’t it amazing how many post I have gotten? And I am not a celebrity. So, again, thank you form the bottom of my heart.
Jogill,
No, you need to cross the river :)
Socialclimber,
“I coach a competitive climber” Wow, anybody we know? And, is this climber better than you?
Philo,
Yeah, I saw it before, but I still had a good lough. Thank you!
Marlow,
LOL. You guys in Norway have a sense of humor! Thank you!
Survival,
You contributed so much that I can make an exception. They can come along, but since there is a limited space in my house, I would have to share my bedroom with them. Anything for you my friend!
(BTW, my wife reads all these silliness. Boy, I am in trouble!)
I am closing the Mooseraiser because I upgraded my status from injured to convalescent.
Thank you very much for your donations. You gave me your sympathy and many good loughs. Thanks to you my down time felt shorter, and most of all I wasn’t alone. My house in Minden is open for all of you. One month in advance I will post the dates of my visits. Whoever wants to come will sign in. If there are too many people, “first come first served”, but the people that contributed the most, are privileged.
This is the final list of the contributors:
1 Perswig
2 Mighty Hiker
3 Skully
4 Ron Anderson
5 zBrown
6 ncrockclimber
7 Cosmic
8 eKat
9 Toker Villain
10 John M
11 T Hocking
12 Fish Finder
13 dee ee
14 Anastasia
15 Footloose
16 survival
17 klk
18 Mungeclimber
19 kaholatingtong
20 Gene
21 Big Mike
22 Crimpergirl
23 Climbski2
24 Locker
25 Kennyt
26 Philo
27 MisterE
28 Lolli
29 Powder
30 Russ Walling
31 Marlow
32 Neebee
33 Jogill
34 Melissa
Yesterday I got my early Christmas gift, and today I started some light exercises.
I wanted to thank you for your invitation, and i believe i read on another thread that you were a snowsports enthusiast as well so i offer you a couple pictures from Whistler
Whistler Blackcomb (Whistler is on the right Blackcomb on the left.)
Blackcomb and the rest of the Valley
The whistler TV/WIFI tower and Black Tusk in the background
I will remember this moment like Kennedy getting shot..... problem is, I've forgotten that one already. So Moose - were you get shitkicked by some Peruvians or something?
I can sympathize with your shingles. Didn't know much about them except the name until 6 months ago. Still suffering from some of the side effects. May start a separate thread for it...
I personally relate quite well to going off a cliff on skis having just come out of a cast, having jumared ropes in a cast. That was so inspiring, man. I imagine it's hard to get the cast to bind to the ski, or you'd likely have tried it before!
Why are some of us still alive?
Shoulda had our tickets punched years back.
Credit: mouse from merced
Avoid the John Jacob Shinglehammer clinic in Markleeville--it's a total rip-off.
Mouse, that vid is from last year. It was my attempt to break a leg before I actually broke it climbing ;) Right now I just started walking without crouches. My doc says I wan't be able to ski this season, but I'm determined to go skiing in March.
I will be in Minden from March 23 to March 30. Visitors welcome.
Like I promised, the people that cheered me up during my difficult time are welcome to visit me and stay in my house. I wan't be able to climb yet (maybe a little ;) but I will go skiing to Kirkwood. If you are interested, please send me an email.
If there are too many people, “first come first served”, but the people that contributed the most, are privileged.
This is the final list of the contributors (I hope I haven't missed anyone):
1 Perswig
2 Mighty Hiker
3 Skully
4 Ron Anderson
5 zBrown
6 ncrockclimber
7 Cosmic
8 eKat
9 Toker Villain
10 John M
11 T Hocking
12 Fish Finder
13 dee ee
14 Anastasia
15 Footloose
16 survival
17 klk
18 Mungeclimber
19 kaholatingtong
20 Gene
21 Big Mike
22 Crimpergirl
23 Climbski2
24 Locker
25 Kennyt
26 Philo
27 MisterE
28 Lolli
29 Powder
30 Russ Walling
31 Marlow
32 Neebee
33 Jogill
34 Melissa
Thank you all again!
Andrzej
My wife managed to capture some of my one-leg skiing with the Go-Pro camera. LOL!
Swedes take it stoically and implement immediately
Let us know!