looking for DARYL HATTENS friends...im his daughter

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daryl_hattens_daughter

climber
Topic Author's Reply - May 16, 2006 - 01:13pm PT
hey no dont worry about it...it wasnt insensitive..you were just curious. Yes, some of the stories i have read on other sites make me a bit angry but its okay..he made some choices and im not guna judge him for that. To tell you the truth, i was angry that he had to die saving a cta.. it seemed so uselss even though i love animals...but i was just angry because now i wont have then chance...but i also look at it as 'he was doing the right think in helping and it was heroic...or could've been. Anyways thankyou again
Anastasia

Trad climber
Near a mountain, CA
May 16, 2006 - 05:18pm PT
DH's daughter, that was a very wise and kind response. You have more class in your pinkie then most will have during their whole lives. Who ever raised you did a great job.

I am sorry that I never met your Dad...
Yet let me say one thing since I do know death from my experience with Cancer, I would rather have an early death from trying to save a cat then experiencing it in later years wasting away in a hospital bed.
Your Dad died the way he lived life; it was unexpected and unique.
I am sorry that you never met him. I don't know what his reaction would have been meeting you, but I can give you my own impression... " Your a wonderful girl. I would be very blessed to have a daughter like you. No matter what anyone says about your generation, children are meant to go farther, be better then their parents."
If you ever can get to Yosemite, Joshua Tree or anywhere else in California... Let me know, I'll show up with my teenage niece and take you both climbing. It would be my joy... Plus, if you get there with your family... I will take the whole clan climbing!
Anastasia
Wayno

Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
May 16, 2006 - 05:42pm PT
I heard about this thread from a cascadeclimbers thread and thought i should reply. I only knew your dad for a week but we did climb the NWface of Half Dome together. I had heard alot about him from friends of mine that knew him pretty well. He was a lot of fun to be with with and he had awesome climbing skills. I learned a lot about aid climbing and big walls in those few days, and he inspired me to eventually get up El Capitan a couple times. I went to his memorial service on top of the Chief in Squamish with a couple of other yanks that knew him pretty well. It was an incredible experience to meet all those friends of his on top that rock in the rain and pass his wall hammer around and tell wonderful stories about our experiences with a guy with such a big heart and soul. Those are the guys you really need to talk to. What a great thing to say about a guy than all those good friends... We got very drunk and wet that night at the bottom huddled around a campfire saying this is the way Daryl would of liked it.
lightweight_yank

Trad climber
Sparx
May 16, 2006 - 05:47pm PT
Dear Janelle, your father was a very dear friend of mine and I miss him greatly. Like you, we lost touch and I looked for him several times over the years (the only reason I joined the forum on rockclimbing.com). I was within hours or days of finding him when he died. I was one of the three Yanks from California who came to his memorial at Squamish, and I also brought back the remainder of his ashes to Yosemite to be spread from the top of his favorite crag -- El Capitan.

Fortunately, I saw your Aunt Darlene at the memorial, and I want to make sure you get in touch with her -- Daryl loved her so. Darlene and I talked about you that night and wondered how to find you. She also told me Daryl's dying words, which I will share with you when we have a private moment. Please e-mail me and I'll call you. You have a proud heritage girl - Daryl was a hero. -Richard
Largo

Sport climber
Venice, Ca
May 16, 2006 - 05:52pm PT
"welll he left us when i was two and i hadnt been in contact with him since"

All I can tell you is that the Daryl Hatten I knew (fairly well, at that) does not square with him doing what is written above. At all. I have no doubt that what you wrote is true, that he did leave, but I certainly can't tell you why, and I'm sure Daryl couldn't either because that was not his nature at all. It must have been very hard on him, and I'd bet my life that he thought about you every day that he was alive because that's the way the guy was made, even if he acted differently.

JL
lightweight_yank

Trad climber
Sparx
May 16, 2006 - 06:07pm PT
Well said John. As I recall, you're one of the few who saw past Daryl's bravado and Canadian logger image to see the wonderful and sensitive person he was. I lived and traveled with Daryl for almost a year and got to see that side of him too.
daryl_hattens_daughter

climber
Topic Author's Reply - May 16, 2006 - 10:08pm PT
first off, anastasia....im soo sorry *hug* i cant say i kno what you are going through but im sorry that you have to. What you said to me brought tears to my eyes. All i can say is thankyou for making my day and that i am sorry to hear about your battle with cancer. i wish the best of luck to you..and who knowns..maybe someday ill come home and ill look you up:)
second...richard...yes i talked to my aunt darlene several times shes an amazingly nice person and im glad they contacted me. She sent me some articles and pictures and such in a booklet recently which made me search the internet more..and im SOOO glad i did. Yes i will email you..so watch for it :P....and i realize my dad was a hero...thankyou.:)
third...Largo. yes...i dont exactly know what happened, and i certainly dont hold it against him. My mom and my dad couldnt get along...and im ok with that. It sounds like he had a better life than he would have had with us so im happy he had a good life. I just havent ever met him since i was 2 and i missed out.
Anastasia

Trad climber
Near a mountain, CA
May 16, 2006 - 11:45pm PT
Now stop that!!! "Blush.." I don't want you to worry about me. (I feel horrible for making you cry...)
The fact is my cancer is in remission so I'm presently in good health. Now don't jinx my recovery with thinking that I'm back in the battle. (I am sorry for not speaking more clearly about my situation)
I just brought up my Cancer days so you would know where my ideas of a "good death" come from. I wanted you to know "why" I thought having an exit like Daryl's would be an honor. Especially since death is always horrible... I wanted you to know that my view came from deep within my soul and my own fears.
(It was my response to those who would think Daryl's exit as being a silly way to go.)
Anyway, please do visit Yosemite one day. I'll love to take you climbing... Something tells me it is in your blood.
Anastasia
daryl_hattens_daughter

climber
saskatchewan, canada
Topic Author's Reply - May 17, 2006 - 08:46am PT
Oh...well thats very good that your in remission. Good luck with that. haha i dont kno if climbing is in my blood lol im pretty clumbsy but id love to try it...i open to new experiences:). No i didnt cry because i was upset i cried because im emotional and that was very nice of you to say. It made me feel special. thankyou.
greg foweraker

climber
May 17, 2006 - 01:45pm PT
Hello Janelle,

My name is Greg Foweraker and I knew your father well. In fact I was his best man when he married your mum and I recall bouncing you on my knee at a pretty tender age. If you want to get hold of me call your aunt darlene-she and I keep in touch -she can vouch for my character and give you some contact info where you can call.
I'm so glad you put up this post as I was hoping to tell you about your father one day.
kind regards
Greg Foweraker
Largo

Sport climber
Venice, Ca
May 17, 2006 - 02:11pm PT
Hey, Janelle:

Can you post a picture of yourelf? A lot of us feel like your long lost uncle.

Thanks,

JL
Toker Villain

Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
May 17, 2006 - 04:44pm PT
bump
Hardman Knott

Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
May 18, 2006 - 06:45pm PT
Janelle, to post the pic you need to go to this website:

http://imageshack.us/

And then click Choose File, navigate to the pic, and then click Host.
Then go to Direct Link To Image and copy that URL and post it here.
If you want the pic to show up right in the thread, use the method
shown here: (under Image)

http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/forum_help.html

Or just e-mail someone the pic and they can do it for you
daryl_hattens_daughter

climber
saskatchewan, canada
Topic Author's Reply - May 18, 2006 - 08:02pm PT
For those of you who wanted to see my picture, here it is. It was taken on my 17th birthday. thankyou HK..ill try this again....please let me know if it doesnt werk and ill figure sumthing out haha
http://img210.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bdaysmiling2tl.jpg
zardoz

Trad climber
Austin, TX
May 18, 2006 - 08:09pm PT
That's a very nice photo, Janelle. You appear to have turned out pretty well.

I hope this isn't rude, but it might be possible that your existence was kept secret from Daryl. That would not be the first time it has happened. But also, it is very hard to stay in touch with a woman who will not speak to you. He may have known and he may have tried to contact you but was shut out. You may never know the truth, really. In any case, glad you found this place to visit and tell us how you are.
daryl_hattens_daughter

climber
saskatchewan, canada
Topic Author's Reply - May 18, 2006 - 08:18pm PT
hey thankyou so much.
"it might be possible that your existence was kept secret from Daryl. That would not be the first time it has happened"
do u mean he has other children or just that something was kept from him....sorry i dont know what that means.
Also, he knew about me because i have pictures of him holding me and he was around until i was two. He wasnt allowed to see me because something happened between him and my mom and it wasnt pretty. He wwas definately shut out and i wish he wouldnt have been. I was told some bad stuff about him but i wanted to kno more about him because i didnt thikn he was like that but i didnt know. I realize now that either people change or people arent as bad as others make them out to be and im just mad at myself for believing that my whole life, because now i missed out on a chance of a lifetime. Growing up, i always wanted to meet my dad 'one day'. I guess it's never goin to happen. but thankyou again.
Anastasia

Trad climber
Near a mountain, CA
May 18, 2006 - 08:45pm PT
That worked...
Nice picture.
Let me just say this even though you probably have already heard this...
"We old gals sometimes need to talk just like old dogs needs to bark when strangers pass by."
"Sorry, but I really, really, need to bark..."
BE CAREFUL on this net and don't go anywhere alone to meet one of us. Please take an adult escort with you; "preferable someone big, mean and ugly..."
Your too cute for comfort.
Call me paranoid, but I like you... I think the world is a better place because you exist. (I never want to see your face on a missing poster.)
As for climbing and being clumsy. I am clumsy too. Climbing is a very different activity. Nothing you have ever done will be able to predict you ability for this sport. I have seen athletes, dancers and gymnast fail on the rock. I have also seen a man with a prosthetic arm outdo most of us on his first day climbing. (I am still in awe over his ability.)
Remember, you won't know if climbing is for you until you have tried it. I hope one day you would... (I really love this sport and want to share it with everyone.)
Whenever your ready for a climbing trip... (Next week, month, year, decade...)
My offer will always stand... (Just remind me about this post. I might mistake you for one of my students.)
My email is: mesocivilized@yahoo.com

Smiles,
Anastasia


daryl_hattens_daughter

climber
saskatchewan, canada
Topic Author's Reply - May 18, 2006 - 08:54pm PT
haha awe thanx....no dont worry im not too stupid lol i dont like creepy people and im careful. But thanks for the heads up.
I have been to rockclimbing places and i liked it. I would like to try it again and i will definately hafta take you up on youre offer somday. Thankyou
Anastasia

Trad climber
Near a mountain, CA
May 18, 2006 - 09:26pm PT

As for bad stuff about your Dad...
We all are idiots, have been horrible etc. We also all have had moments of extreme intelligence and been the equal of angels. All of us are walking around with good and bad sides.
I am sure your father was no different.
Just remember that in some relationships the worst side is brought out of us. Things happen and they can scar everyone involved. I once knew a couple that as individuals were really great, but... When they were together, they were the worst people on the planet. They kept getting worse until everything exploded into a really horrible breakup. (I felt bad for both of them.)
I am sure that if your mom told you about some horrible stuff, it probably is true. I also know that the it must have scarred her. It must have hurt her very much to fall in love with someone, have a child with him and in two years need to leave. When that happens, she must have pushed away all the good memories to survive the heart ache. Don't resent her for not bothering to remember your father in any good light. I would take that as a sign that she must have really loved him.

Anyway, don't ever forget that we "all" have two sides. We try to marry people that bring the best out of us and forgive us of our worst. Sometimes without anyone meaning it, that doesn't happen. Instead we end up with darkness even when the people involved are worth so much more...
Please, beware of trying to figure it out. You can drive yourself nuts with the need to discover the truth. The fact is that the truth during emotional events is perceptual. Everyone will have a version. The truth will not exist as a fact. The event can never be resolved because the people that created it never resolved it.
Instead, I would take the time to learn about your two fault filled humans that became your parents.
If you can love them despite their faults, you are a complete person. Especially since we all must love ourselves and others despite our dark sides.
AF

Stewart

Trad climber
Courtenay, B.C.
May 18, 2006 - 10:17pm PT
Hi, Janelle. After Daryl got out of juvie, he joined the Uvic Rock Scaling Club which was formed by myself and a couple of non-climbing friends (that's a long story in itself), and I soon became his mentor and climbing partner until I got married and Daryl started spending increasing time hanging around in Yosemite. We remained friends, but we did most of our climbing together mainly on Vancouver Island and Squamish. For what it's worth, I am reasonably certain that he and I did the first ascents of walls in Squamish accomplished by Island climbers. I knew Daryl for his entire climbing career & was in contact with him until shortly before his tragic death.

Also, I knew Darlene, your grandmother Kate, and Fred and have met your grandfather and Peter, but only tangentially.

I have hundreds of pictures and slides, some postcards, letters and a few other odds and sods connected to Daryl in my possession.

Should you wish to establish my bona fides, I met Darlene at Daryl's memorial in Squamish and gave her a stuffed (fake)mouse that your grandmother Kate hid in our haulbag prior to one of our climbs in Squamish. Also, I gave her a postcard from Kate to Daryl that had inadvertantly ended up in my possession. Greg Foweraker is also a good friend of mine and hopefully he can confirm that I am not someone trying to waste your time. Furthermore, I was briefly quoted in Alpinist X (the best climbing magazine in North America)along with a picture of us climbing on Zodiac Wall. Also, in Alpinist 12, a letter from me was published that mentioned an amusing incident that involved Daryl, Greg and I.

Feel free to contact me once you are assured that I am for real. Take it easy with some of the other contact suggestions - lots of others DID spend various periods of time with Daryl, but many of the people who knew him best were from Vancouver Island, along with a few people in Squamish and probably many more in Yosemite. Unfortunately, I am hesitant to freely offer the specific names I am aware of without first having obtained their permission.

All the best, Janelle - I sincerely hope life treats you kindly. I knew Daryl at his best and genuinely considered him to be the little brother I never had. I will miss him.

P.S.: I also have a couple of Polaroids of you as a baby - one of you, Greg and Daryl -I think (I'd have to look for it) along with another of you sitting alone playing with a #10 hex, or maybe a tube chock.

P.P.S.: Take care with learning the climbing game - the cliffs aren't going anywhere, so don't be afraid to err on the side of caution - your father was the safest climber I have known, but everyone makes mistakes.
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