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daryl_hattens_daughter
climber
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Topic Author's Reply - May 16, 2006 - 10:08pm PT
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first off, anastasia....im soo sorry *hug* i cant say i kno what you are going through but im sorry that you have to. What you said to me brought tears to my eyes. All i can say is thankyou for making my day and that i am sorry to hear about your battle with cancer. i wish the best of luck to you..and who knowns..maybe someday ill come home and ill look you up:)
second...richard...yes i talked to my aunt darlene several times shes an amazingly nice person and im glad they contacted me. She sent me some articles and pictures and such in a booklet recently which made me search the internet more..and im SOOO glad i did. Yes i will email you..so watch for it :P....and i realize my dad was a hero...thankyou.:)
third...Largo. yes...i dont exactly know what happened, and i certainly dont hold it against him. My mom and my dad couldnt get along...and im ok with that. It sounds like he had a better life than he would have had with us so im happy he had a good life. I just havent ever met him since i was 2 and i missed out.
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Near a mountain, CA
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May 16, 2006 - 11:45pm PT
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Now stop that!!! "Blush.." I don't want you to worry about me. (I feel horrible for making you cry...)
The fact is my cancer is in remission so I'm presently in good health. Now don't jinx my recovery with thinking that I'm back in the battle. (I am sorry for not speaking more clearly about my situation)
I just brought up my Cancer days so you would know where my ideas of a "good death" come from. I wanted you to know "why" I thought having an exit like Daryl's would be an honor. Especially since death is always horrible... I wanted you to know that my view came from deep within my soul and my own fears.
(It was my response to those who would think Daryl's exit as being a silly way to go.)
Anyway, please do visit Yosemite one day. I'll love to take you climbing... Something tells me it is in your blood.
Anastasia
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daryl_hattens_daughter
climber
saskatchewan, canada
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Topic Author's Reply - May 17, 2006 - 08:46am PT
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Oh...well thats very good that your in remission. Good luck with that. haha i dont kno if climbing is in my blood lol im pretty clumbsy but id love to try it...i open to new experiences:). No i didnt cry because i was upset i cried because im emotional and that was very nice of you to say. It made me feel special. thankyou.
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Largo
Sport climber
Venice, Ca
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May 17, 2006 - 02:11pm PT
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Hey, Janelle:
Can you post a picture of yourelf? A lot of us feel like your long lost uncle.
Thanks,
JL
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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May 17, 2006 - 04:44pm PT
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bump
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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
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May 18, 2006 - 06:45pm PT
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Janelle, to post the pic you need to go to this website:
http://imageshack.us/
And then click Choose File, navigate to the pic, and then click Host.
Then go to Direct Link To Image and copy that URL and post it here.
If you want the pic to show up right in the thread, use the method
shown here: (under Image)
http://www.supertopo.com/climbing/forum_help.html
Or just e-mail someone the pic and they can do it for you
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daryl_hattens_daughter
climber
saskatchewan, canada
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Topic Author's Reply - May 18, 2006 - 08:18pm PT
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hey thankyou so much.
"it might be possible that your existence was kept secret from Daryl. That would not be the first time it has happened"
do u mean he has other children or just that something was kept from him....sorry i dont know what that means.
Also, he knew about me because i have pictures of him holding me and he was around until i was two. He wasnt allowed to see me because something happened between him and my mom and it wasnt pretty. He wwas definately shut out and i wish he wouldnt have been. I was told some bad stuff about him but i wanted to kno more about him because i didnt thikn he was like that but i didnt know. I realize now that either people change or people arent as bad as others make them out to be and im just mad at myself for believing that my whole life, because now i missed out on a chance of a lifetime. Growing up, i always wanted to meet my dad 'one day'. I guess it's never goin to happen. but thankyou again.
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Near a mountain, CA
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May 18, 2006 - 08:45pm PT
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That worked...
Nice picture.
Let me just say this even though you probably have already heard this...
"We old gals sometimes need to talk just like old dogs needs to bark when strangers pass by."
"Sorry, but I really, really, need to bark..."
BE CAREFUL on this net and don't go anywhere alone to meet one of us. Please take an adult escort with you; "preferable someone big, mean and ugly..."
Your too cute for comfort.
Call me paranoid, but I like you... I think the world is a better place because you exist. (I never want to see your face on a missing poster.)
As for climbing and being clumsy. I am clumsy too. Climbing is a very different activity. Nothing you have ever done will be able to predict you ability for this sport. I have seen athletes, dancers and gymnast fail on the rock. I have also seen a man with a prosthetic arm outdo most of us on his first day climbing. (I am still in awe over his ability.)
Remember, you won't know if climbing is for you until you have tried it. I hope one day you would... (I really love this sport and want to share it with everyone.)
Whenever your ready for a climbing trip... (Next week, month, year, decade...)
My offer will always stand... (Just remind me about this post. I might mistake you for one of my students.)
My email is: mesocivilized@yahoo.com
Smiles,
Anastasia
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daryl_hattens_daughter
climber
saskatchewan, canada
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Topic Author's Reply - May 18, 2006 - 08:54pm PT
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haha awe thanx....no dont worry im not too stupid lol i dont like creepy people and im careful. But thanks for the heads up.
I have been to rockclimbing places and i liked it. I would like to try it again and i will definately hafta take you up on youre offer somday. Thankyou
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Anastasia
Trad climber
Near a mountain, CA
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May 18, 2006 - 09:26pm PT
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As for bad stuff about your Dad...
We all are idiots, have been horrible etc. We also all have had moments of extreme intelligence and been the equal of angels. All of us are walking around with good and bad sides.
I am sure your father was no different.
Just remember that in some relationships the worst side is brought out of us. Things happen and they can scar everyone involved. I once knew a couple that as individuals were really great, but... When they were together, they were the worst people on the planet. They kept getting worse until everything exploded into a really horrible breakup. (I felt bad for both of them.)
I am sure that if your mom told you about some horrible stuff, it probably is true. I also know that the it must have scarred her. It must have hurt her very much to fall in love with someone, have a child with him and in two years need to leave. When that happens, she must have pushed away all the good memories to survive the heart ache. Don't resent her for not bothering to remember your father in any good light. I would take that as a sign that she must have really loved him.
Anyway, don't ever forget that we "all" have two sides. We try to marry people that bring the best out of us and forgive us of our worst. Sometimes without anyone meaning it, that doesn't happen. Instead we end up with darkness even when the people involved are worth so much more...
Please, beware of trying to figure it out. You can drive yourself nuts with the need to discover the truth. The fact is that the truth during emotional events is perceptual. Everyone will have a version. The truth will not exist as a fact. The event can never be resolved because the people that created it never resolved it.
Instead, I would take the time to learn about your two fault filled humans that became your parents.
If you can love them despite their faults, you are a complete person. Especially since we all must love ourselves and others despite our dark sides.
AF
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Stewart
Trad climber
Courtenay, B.C.
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May 18, 2006 - 10:17pm PT
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Hi, Janelle. After Daryl got out of juvie, he joined the Uvic Rock Scaling Club which was formed by myself and a couple of non-climbing friends (that's a long story in itself), and I soon became his mentor and climbing partner until I got married and Daryl started spending increasing time hanging around in Yosemite. We remained friends, but we did most of our climbing together mainly on Vancouver Island and Squamish. For what it's worth, I am reasonably certain that he and I did the first ascents of walls in Squamish accomplished by Island climbers. I knew Daryl for his entire climbing career & was in contact with him until shortly before his tragic death.
Also, I knew Darlene, your grandmother Kate, and Fred and have met your grandfather and Peter, but only tangentially.
I have hundreds of pictures and slides, some postcards, letters and a few other odds and sods connected to Daryl in my possession.
Should you wish to establish my bona fides, I met Darlene at Daryl's memorial in Squamish and gave her a stuffed (fake)mouse that your grandmother Kate hid in our haulbag prior to one of our climbs in Squamish. Also, I gave her a postcard from Kate to Daryl that had inadvertantly ended up in my possession. Greg Foweraker is also a good friend of mine and hopefully he can confirm that I am not someone trying to waste your time. Furthermore, I was briefly quoted in Alpinist X (the best climbing magazine in North America)along with a picture of us climbing on Zodiac Wall. Also, in Alpinist 12, a letter from me was published that mentioned an amusing incident that involved Daryl, Greg and I.
Feel free to contact me once you are assured that I am for real. Take it easy with some of the other contact suggestions - lots of others DID spend various periods of time with Daryl, but many of the people who knew him best were from Vancouver Island, along with a few people in Squamish and probably many more in Yosemite. Unfortunately, I am hesitant to freely offer the specific names I am aware of without first having obtained their permission.
All the best, Janelle - I sincerely hope life treats you kindly. I knew Daryl at his best and genuinely considered him to be the little brother I never had. I will miss him.
P.S.: I also have a couple of Polaroids of you as a baby - one of you, Greg and Daryl -I think (I'd have to look for it) along with another of you sitting alone playing with a #10 hex, or maybe a tube chock.
P.P.S.: Take care with learning the climbing game - the cliffs aren't going anywhere, so don't be afraid to err on the side of caution - your father was the safest climber I have known, but everyone makes mistakes.
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Largo
Sport climber
Venice, Ca
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May 18, 2006 - 10:24pm PT
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You look very sweet--almost exactly like I figured, but far more beautiful. I know for a fact that you dad would have been very proud of you. We are, in his place.
JL
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daryl_hattens_daughter
climber
saskatchewan, canada
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Topic Author's Reply - May 18, 2006 - 10:25pm PT
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Awe thankyou very much! Wow...thats some deep thinking . Yea, im not mad at them. My mom never otl me the stories because i was too young to understand. But my aunt only tells me what my mom told her which is basically the bad parts. I love them both and they will always be in my heart. I cant not love them (haha) they were and are my parents and there will always be that special part inside me for them.
Stewart-why was he in Juvie? what did he do?
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Loomis
climber
Praha, Ceska Republika
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May 18, 2006 - 10:40pm PT
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Janelle, I just spoke with a friend on the phone, told him about your post here on supertopo. He knew your father well. Your father taught him how to aid climb (years ago). His name is Chuck Clance and he lives in the bay area. Chuck is not Computer savy, but has a wealth of stories to tell you about your late father. Please check your e-mail for contact info, Scott.
BTW: After a quick tutorial, Clance will be posting here.
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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May 18, 2006 - 10:43pm PT
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And don't listen to Anasthesia. She doesn't know what she's talking about. Take TWO big mean, ugly guys.
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Hardman Knott
Gym climber
Muir Woods National Monument, Mill Valley, Ca
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May 18, 2006 - 10:55pm PT
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Janelle, I met Chuck Clance at Lover's Leap right after your dad died.
He told me he was a very good friend of Daryl, and was trying to get more info.
He was very bummed to hear the news.
I told him about the threads that were posted on the climbing websites.
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Stewart
Trad climber
Courtenay, B.C.
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May 18, 2006 - 11:11pm PT
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Boy, that was a fast response. I honestly didn't want to ask, so I can only guess it was for some kind of minor hell-raising, or possibly a marijuana bust - the law was pretty heavy on all but the "purest" teenagers. Sorry I can't tell you more, but either Peter or your grandfather could probably answer that one...
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Toker Villain
Big Wall climber
Toquerville, Utah
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May 18, 2006 - 11:16pm PT
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But Zardoz, strangers WILL touch your pee pee. lol
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lightweight_yank
Trad climber
Sparx
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May 18, 2006 - 11:41pm PT
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Dang! Janelle, you look so much like your Dad...but cute! I had a wonderful conversation with your Aunt Darlene last night, and she's so proud of you. Please ignore half of the idiotic comments posted here, but there are also some people here who are your true friends -- Largo, Greg Foweraker, and obviously Anastasia.
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