Discussion Topic |
|
This thread has been locked |
poop*ghost
Trad climber
Denver, CO
|
|
|
Feb 14, 2006 - 11:06pm PT
|
jt - thanks for the story... it's certainly making me laugh!
|
|
Ammon
Big Wall climber
El Cap
|
|
|
Feb 14, 2006 - 11:14pm PT
|
Tucker has the will to literally move the earth. I’ve witnessed his strength in his earth moving. VERY Impressive. I’ve also seen men crumble after what he does in an hour. Seriously.
I think he might be that guy who has roamed the earth for thousands of years.
[edit] Nice, great stories... keep 'em coming
|
|
WBraun
climber
|
|
|
Feb 14, 2006 - 11:14pm PT
|
jt, LOL ..... now that was a great story.
|
|
WBraun
climber
|
|
|
Feb 14, 2006 - 11:52pm PT
|
Tucker Tech one tough mofcker
There are too many stories from the legend, but I’ll give one example. He never really had much money and then one day he decides to go on a Trans sierra ski trip with Dan McDevitt. I see Tucker at the mountain shop and he’s buying some 30 or 40 something tiger’s milk energy bars. I ask him what he’s doing buying all these bars.
He tells me about the trip he’s going to take. I ask him “Is that all you’re taking for food?” “Yes Werner, I’ll be all right” he replies. Wow!
I tell Dan about it and he laughs and tells me Tucker will probably run out of food and ask for and eat mine.
They got caught in a big snow storm and had to spend some days waiting it out. Tuckers boots were the sh_it off course so he froze his feet. Their food ran low/out.
Dan ran out of food before Tucker and had to ask him for a tigers milk bar.
|
|
Ed Hartouni
Trad climber
Livermore, CA
|
|
|
Feb 15, 2006 - 12:51am PT
|
from what I have heard, addroid's malappropism is probably the closest: "Tucker is clearbouyant"
|
|
todd-gordon
climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 15, 2006 - 03:38am PT
|
Here's a fun day at the crags with Tucker......Yo go to pic him up;... he's NEVER ready to leave.... you have to wait while he leasurely finishes his current beer and smoke. Then you drive to the crags..... after you get out of the car, Tucker's stink is still in the car.....(It goes away in a few days...)....Then YOU start hiking... but Tucker is still in the parking lot... "having one more beer and smoke."......so you walk out in the wilderness, alone with no one to chat with while you hike to your climbing crag destination....(No big dea, really...) After awhile, Tucker has caught up with you because he hikes as fast as a demon from hell, but he doesn't stop to join you in conversation, but rather passes you by.....(Here's where you get to smell him again...).... At the crags, I usually lead our projects because Tucker needs TWO hands...(You guessed it.....One for the beer, one for the cig, right?)....While you are climbing, Tucker's belay hand could be anywhere......(Is it on the rope, the beer, rolling a smoke, smoking a smoke, or holding his weenie while he pees, which he does every 5 min. or so because he probably had 5 beers BEFORE you even picked him up to go climbing...?).... then while you are climbing, Tucker either doesn't say a word to you, or he belittles you for going to slow, not being a good climber, not running it out, or being too old, having a bald head, having children, having a life,... whatever.... After you have finished your AWESOME project, new route, or heroic lead, you ask Tucker how he liked the climb....(which, by the way, he floated in record time...). .... he say's " It's a steaming pile of sh#t.".....Then he'll belch and/or fart, finish his beer and cig, shoulder his back, and start walking back to the car at full speed....without saying another word........(This is what I do EVERY Saturday......sheeeesh...)... Care to join us?
|
|
Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
|
|
|
Feb 15, 2006 - 04:59pm PT
|
Back in the days of Old E and Natty Ice, Towards the end of the climbing day, Tucker would get a tiny bit tipsy after 15 or so tall boys, so , just to be on the safe side, I would ask Tucker if he was buckled back on his harness and tied in correctly before he would climb. He would reply, "No, I'm not."....then, without checking, he would start to climb.
|
|
elcap-pics
climber
Crestline CA
|
|
|
Feb 15, 2006 - 05:32pm PT
|
Ok... it's August of 89 and I have a week before I have to go back to teaching high school... so I come to the valley and hook up with Tucker to do the Muir Wall with the Freeblast start as neither of us wants to do the lower part of the route with all that slabby aid (back then at least). So we go up planning on 4 days and take a total of 4 gallons of water as we both like to travel as light as possible, especially since I am, if nothing else, a true light weight climber. Anyway, Tucker leads almost everything, as he is miles faster than I am on the free climbing and the aid too. The middle of day two finds him leading the pitch that goes up to the traverse, where the Shield goes left and the Muir right. I yell up(he is leading) to be sure the stop at the corner before the traverse as I want to lead that next section... so I notice that the haul line is moving to the right more than it should if he was going to stop at the belay... I yell up that here isn't enough rope to make the next stance as I had done the 3D a few years before and remembered that section. He muttered something about having soloed it before and he knew what he was doing....It's really windy there at the very corner of the whole buttress and soon it is futile to even try to communicate. Finally after quite a while the haul line starts going up with determination so I cut the bag loose and clean the pitch. Sure enough he has stretched the pitch to make the next belay. So I come across the traverse and lower out and jug up to a little stance some 20 feet below him and find that the end of the lead line is anchored to a couple of shitty TCU's behind this dinky flake that could depart the face at any moment!!! Tucker is sitting at the belay with the haul bag and the haul line. I take a good look at the TCU's and start to complain about him leaving me anchored to that shitty belay while I cleaned that whole pitch with no idea of what he had done... after I ranted at him for a while he tossed me the haul line and I jugged up to the belay. Well I ranted some more at the lad while he just looked at me with that dead-pan Tucker look, seemingly (and actually!) bored with the whole conversation. The "conversation", a monolog on my part, ended when he said, "Well... they didn't come out did they?" We finished the climb in the alotted time and I went home to teach school.
Tom Evans
|
|
Russ Walling
Social climber
This ain't Tijuana
|
|
|
Feb 15, 2006 - 05:40pm PT
|
Over the years, there is nothing about Tucker that you could not fix with about 4 beers and a power washer.
|
|
Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
|
|
|
Feb 15, 2006 - 06:01pm PT
|
My 20 month old son Beck calls Tucker "Nana"....(that's disturbing...)
|
|
sandsnow
Social climber
SoCal
|
|
|
Feb 15, 2006 - 09:28pm PT
|
Now Todd
You should know this. I do and I've only been out a few times with you guys.
The Last beer before you leave in the morning are "see you later beers."
Then there's the "parking lot beers"
When beers are in the pack, it's a golf bag. Par 6(pack) or Par 12(pack) Wait, maybe that's Burke?
Larry
|
|
rlf
Trad climber
Josh, CA
|
|
|
Feb 15, 2006 - 09:43pm PT
|
"Now Todd
You should know this. I do and I've only been out a few times with you guys.
The Last beer before you leave in the morning are "see you later beers."
Then there's the "parking lot beers"
When beers are in the pack, it's a golf bag. Par 6(pack) or Par 12(pack) Wait, maybe that's Burke?
Larry"
Larry, larry, laaarrrryyyy.... No Larry, the "golf" reference is when Burke, Tuker and I are using the "golf" cart to cruise to our next set of routes. The see ya later beers are all encompassing. There is no "morning" to it.
This is why we are so protective of the board room table.. Don't mess with the board members.
Robert
|
|
Scott Cole
Trad climber
Jackson, WY^
|
|
|
Feb 15, 2006 - 10:14pm PT
|
Anyone remember when Peter Chesko put the dead trout under the hood of his van, in the camp 4 parking lot, where it stayed for the next six months?
Scott
|
|
Mary Prankster
Social climber
Bumphuque, Eqypt
|
|
|
Feb 15, 2006 - 10:24pm PT
|
I remember I would often see Tucker at the deli wearing shorts and sandals. His feet and legs would be black from dirt. One day he bragged to anyone who would listen about how 2 or 3 of his teeth were rotten down to the gums and then would open his mouth to demonstrate --- ah, now that's entertainment.
|
|
WBraun
climber
|
|
|
Feb 16, 2006 - 02:10am PT
|
Hey Scott
How are ya? Then there was that blow up doll on the front of his bread truck and those funny porn cartoons on the side panels.
Man it was so bad, hahaha, then Galen Rowell took a picture of poor Tuckers rig and put it in Audubon magazine with the captions something like "What's Yosemite coming too?".
After the Cheif saw that it was "Tucker Tech get that truck out of Yosemite" LOL
I gotta hand it to Tucker, he is an American classic.
|
|
todd-gordon
climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 16, 2006 - 02:42am PT
|
I do believe Tucker has done the most different climbs in Yo Valley (1,100) AND at Joshua Tree (Over 5,000).....As you can imagine, all that climbing can make one very thirsty.....("Who needs water or food.... beer has lots of water, and hops and barley too....")
|
|
todd-gordon
climber
|
|
|
Topic Author's Reply - Feb 16, 2006 - 02:48am PT
|
I once asked Tucker how many times he's taken acid.... He replied..." Ahhhhhhhh.......ahhh.....hmmmmmmmmm.....ahhhhh..duhhhh..ahhhhh.."...(just kiddin'...)....(Around 200, give or take a hundred.....).... As you can imagine.... all that acid can make one thirsty..........("Climbing is great, because it takes you to different beautiful areas in nature to drink beer at...").....maybe that's why he's almost impossible to beat at Scrabble or chess?......
|
|
WBraun
climber
|
|
|
Feb 16, 2006 - 02:54am PT
|
He was always wearing those Birkenstock sandals even on 5th class free solo approaches. His feet skating out from under him and still not giving a hoot.
Once he showed up on top of the Column in those Birkenstock during a search. He scrambled up some hideous sh_it to get there in those sandals. I think it was Dill (not sure), one day, finally told him he can't wear those things on "Official Business" anymore.
|
|
Todd Gordon
Trad climber
Joshua Tree, Cal
|
|
|
Feb 16, 2006 - 06:03pm PT
|
About 2 years ago....I recieved a phone call....." Tucker is hurt bad; come over quick.'.....I race over, and Tucker is lying on his kitchen floor, in a pool of blood. His yellow shirt, is showing NO yellow, as it is completely soaked in blood. He smiles, and says it's not bad, but that head wounds "bleed alot.' After an hour or so, and with many compresses, it's still bubbling and squirting blood. Tucker gets up and tries to clean up in the bathroom, but gives up when he realizes that he's loosing blood faster than he can clean it up. The bathroom looks like the Psycho shower scene, or Texas Chain-saw massacre. I finally say that I am going to fetch a doctor and Tucker, almost seemingly afraid of doctors, argues strongly against it. I say, O K, just let me take a peek at the wound. We remove the compresses, and blood is still spouting out;... through the matted hair and quarts of red, his lid looks caved in to me. I say, "That's it.... I'm going to get a doctor.".....Tucker argues some more.... but I don't give in. "Fah-Q, you don't know what you are talking about... have you been to medical school?'........So I storm out of the place, and go fetch a doctor...(well....a veterinarian was all could come up with at the hour....but hey.....a doc is a doc... medical school is medical school...and humans are animals, right?)..........The doc says..."he'll be fin in a week or so."....The Doc wrapped his head 3 or 4 times in a turbine.'.....The next few days, I saw Tucker, poking around in his garden, hair unwashed, and dry blood on his head like strips of beef jerky.
|
|
Fluoride
Trad climber
on a rock or mountain out west
|
|
|
Feb 16, 2006 - 09:06pm PT
|
Heh, nice Todd!! Yeah, Tucker hates doctors. Dentists even more I think. He told me he hadn't seen a dentist in at least 19 years, and the last time he did I think he was forced into it somehow, or unconcious. Almost felt vicitmized by dental work.
But hey, he stuck his bleeding unattached ear back on and let the dried blood mend it back in place...and he still has the ear so who am I to question his distaste of medical attention.
|
|
|
SuperTopo on the Web
|
Let us know!