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apogee
climber
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Jul 15, 2010 - 01:09pm PT
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I dunno...if asked at an earlier point in my life, that answer would be clearer, but now that I'm bearing down on my 5th decade here, a lot of stuff has come my way, many of which others have mentioned upthread. I guess that's the upside to these life challenges- we really do get stronger as life goes by, and challenges move into a different perspective.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Jul 15, 2010 - 01:44pm PT
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I'm with Apogee on this. I went through a rough divorce that was devastating at the time, but in retrospect...well...I got though it and my life kicks ass right now. But I ain't no fool, I'm sure there's much more to come.
Life can sure seem like a bitch sometimes, but the good times make it worthwhile.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Jul 15, 2010 - 01:56pm PT
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I should say with my above post that I didn't intend to diminish what some of you have been through...
Damn, Chief....I don't even know what to say on that one.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Jul 15, 2010 - 01:57pm PT
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Do you mean the hardest endeavor that I ever attempted or the hardest thing I have ever endured? Two different animals in my book.
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High Fructose Corn Spirit
Gym climber
Full Silos of Iowa
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Jul 15, 2010 - 02:01pm PT
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The hardest thing I've ever done was 30 years ago, when I was in my 20s. It was a struggle over many years. That "thing" was (a) coming to grips with the so-called Scientific Story in the face of the Abrahamic narrative and Abrahamic super-religion, (b) coming to grips with the material basis and one-shot mortality of all living things, including human beings, (c) realizing how this new scientific education and the commitment to "live up to it" were going to put me at odds with family and the pop majority. Now I realize in hindsight those difficulties- tho mighty overwhelming at times- were merely growing pains.
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Jul 15, 2010 - 02:06pm PT
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Maybe right now as my 12 year old Lab is in rapid decline with kidney failure. I'm having all those "feelings" about did I do enough with her, did I take her enough places, did we go to the beach enough considering we live in Santa Cruz...did I take her to the mountains enough....it;s hard...and I keep looking for the "spark" that says maybe this is just a temporary issue. I am so glad I am not working right now. Having a baby at 40 was pretty hard too.
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Jul 15, 2010 - 02:16pm PT
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I used to think it was when my first child's father left me while I was pregnant, and I had to beg to stay with my family and help to stay in college. Over 30 years ago, single motherhood was no piece of cake for a teenage girl. All "help" pointed to abortion or dropping out of college. For two years, I went through the motions of life to take care of my child but was deeply depressed.
After that, life's ups and downs were pretty much in persepctive, and I rolled well with the punches drawing on strength form that experience. 51 hours of labor with my last child - over quickly compared to the humiliation and chaos of that first child.
Then my last child (17) ran away and threatened self harm. I found her and managed to get her committed to a residential program. I would rather endure physical harm and public humiliation to myself over desparately searching for my child and fighting for their mental/physical health. Your legal ability to help them is so limited by well intentioned laws to prevent abuse. She is OK now, but I still panic that a disappointment or borken heart could precipitate another meltdown.
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Tattooed 1
Trad climber
Sebastopol, Ca
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Jul 15, 2010 - 02:27pm PT
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Watch ER staff perform CPR on my dad for 38 minutes after his heart attack last year. I didn't think it could get any harder than that. Three months later I got the call that my son had been in a motorcycle accident and they were not sure if he would survive. The 5 hour drive to the hospital in LA was even harder. It was a tough year.
Both of them lived and are doing well.
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Bad Acronym
climber
Little Death Hollow
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Jul 15, 2010 - 03:29pm PT
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Working at this f---ing job, year after f---ing year, while trying to remain inspired and get enough f---ing sleep to remain recognizably human.
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zeta
Trad climber
Berkeley
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Jul 15, 2010 - 03:48pm PT
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hardest thing endured:
it was the 9 months when my dad was in the hospital after his stroke (in and out of the ICU; mom hanging together by a thread, flying home every month and each time in the hospital fearing that it was the last time I'd see my dad). During that same time period, having a serious relationship fall apart, quitting my job in DC, moving back to California, and deciding to go back to school...much stress and worry. BUT...in the end, those were the best set of decisions I made about my life. Even though I lost my dad a year and a half ago, I'll always be glad that I moved back to CA and had much more time with him.
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Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
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Jul 15, 2010 - 03:54pm PT
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If a climb is the hardest thing you've ever done in life, that's a good indicator of complete shallowness and egocentricity.
Just sayin', E.
that was my initial reaction....
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MisterE
Social climber
Bouncy Tiggerville
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Jul 15, 2010 - 04:03pm PT
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Guess I have just been lucky enough to never have any major medical problems, never had to suffer through the loss of a close loved one or friend, or had any really bad break-ups.
Take it as you will.
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lucaskrajnik
Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
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Jul 15, 2010 - 04:04pm PT
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I was visiting one of my best friends I looked up to alot, he was really strong back in the day,(he's a quadraplegic now) and we took him and his sister down to a local park, we had some home made tacos just before. And on our way one of his legs started to spasm. We thought it would eventually stop so we kept walking toward the park, once we arrived. His entire body started to spasm, he started turning ghost white, he was becoming very tired since his body hadnt worked that hard since before his accident. I called his mom to come pick us up and take us to the hospital, because he wouldnt stop spasming. After about 4 minutes he started fadeing in and out... and sweating, screaming for his mom crying he's dieing. While I stood helplessly asking him to stop moving.?..
She got there I wheeled him in the van.. and she raced off to the hospital.. he ended up staying overnight and eventually stopped, they never found out why he started spasming.
It was very scary... not that hard.. but to watch
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 15, 2010 - 05:25pm PT
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Do you mean the hardest endeavor that I ever attempted or the hardest thing I have ever endured? Two different animals in my book.
Indeed Wayno, two very different animals. When I wrote the OP, I was trying to start a new climbing post [without turning it into a bragging contest]. But soon after posting, I realized that the hardest thing I ever did wasn't really climbing related. So yeah, there are physical hardships that we go through (and they come in the flavors of things we put upon ourselves and things that are put upon ourselves) and the non-physical things of difficulty that we're here to endure. Anguish I suppose.
I've had my own set of medical problems, went through a personal hell in a breakup, and drove my dad around Tijuana with an IV in his arm as we looked for a hospital that might take him in. All VERY different from the physical endeavors that I put upon myself when I go climbing.
To Damn this looks high, Yeah. F'in Hard, I hear that.
Thanks for sharing folks. Life ~is~ hard, and then you... Go Climbing!!
Looking forward to hearing more...
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Jul 15, 2010 - 05:44pm PT
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I was on a TV show with Bridwell, down by Angel Falls, and I met my future wife there in the jungle. Years later, with two girls, I realized that the marriage was a bust and had never worked. I didn't know what I was doing or who I was. I couldn't make it work - that takes two willing participants. That left me nowhere at all. That's an altered state and a world adrift that I imagine half the world knows intimately but when you are there you feel like the last man on earth. The only way out was to join the human race. I'm still working on that one, but I have two wonderful guides: Marianne del Valle and Marhjohny.
Marianne and Boyfriend, Lino, also 5th year med students.
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dave goodwin
climber
carson city, nv
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Jul 15, 2010 - 06:03pm PT
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Dealing with the death of my dad. He was a bush pilot and his plane disappeared in Cook Inlet outside of Anchorage, and the plane has never been found. I was only 5 months old, but I think about him EVERYDAY and I never got a chance to really know him. When I was younger I was always convinced that someday he would just walk through the door.
i am always thinking what my life would have been like with him alive. I had a horrible step father growing up and this only made the wondering of who my real dad was even worse.
For those who have lost their parent/s I feel for you. Keep a hold of the memories that you had with them. I being 5 months old when my father disappeared left me with no memories at all just a thought of "what if"??
This has been the hardest thing for me because it never ends, I deal with it everyday. I want to know my dad!!!
take care
dave
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ME Climb
Social climber
Behind the Orange Curtain
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Jul 15, 2010 - 06:40pm PT
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My divorce was hard, I still deal with it everyday, but the absolute worst was at my brother's funeral. The man who gave the eulogy was great and let us all remember who my brother was. Afterwords they played Taps. At that point I had to stand up and invite the overflowing crowd of the church to come to his home and celebrate his life.
At that moment I realized what a great man, father, hero, and friend my brother was to not only me, but to all that knew him. I was honored to do it, but it still brings tears to my eyes.
Corky, I love you and miss you! I hope I am making you proud!
Eric
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Jul 15, 2010 - 07:47pm PT
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Dave, I feel for you. Sorry about your Dad. I don't really know what to tell you. But you're Dad is probably looking down on you with the same kind of feelings. That he wished he was there to hang with you. Sounds like you're doing well in life. Maybe he still looks after you. I don't want to get too religious here, I catch sh#t for it, but try to take solice in the fact your Dad didn't want to leave you. It was an unfortunate accident. You Pop would undoubtedly have giving a lot to change things or make things better. Sorry for your loss, man. I'm fighting some tears right now. Hang tough, buddy, your Dad watches over you.
ME climb, sorry about your bro. I have a brother too. F*#k, this is turning into a tear-jerker thread. I'm sure your bro is proud of you.
Chief said;
That is the reality beast that we as climbers really need to comprehend and accept each and every time we leave the car and head for the crag.
Yeah, I kinda tried to explain this to some of my newer climber buddies last weekend in Tuolumne. Sometimes if you don't feel it, you should re-think what you're doing. I was stoked on leading some routes and after getting lost and seperated from half our party, I refused to do my chosen leads. They were disappointed (but they led instead and had fun) and I just told them that I wasn't feeling it. They kept coaxing me to do it, but in the end, I said, "I ain't feeling it, it ain't gonna happen".
I listen to my body and my head.
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SuperTopo on the Web
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Taking responsibility for not being a daily presence in my children's life, so I don't blame my ex for it and hold on to anger and frustration. I have held on to the belief that she has "robbed me of my fatherhood," and this belief has cast a deep and dark shadow over my life in the last 2 years of muddling through a divorce. I have come to accept that I chose my path and associated consequences given the circumstances that neither of us planned or expected
Let us know!