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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 15, 2010 - 04:53am PT
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Sure, we've all labored over some tough decisions, and hard are those that deal with life-changing events. But for real difficulty, I think that racing bikes is harder than making some whimpy decision about your next job, or deciding if you're gonna get vanilla or banana chocolate swirl ice cream.
As climbers, we relish a good, difficult outing. And things get really good when we dig deeper than before. While nothing beats the physical output of getting stuck in an off-width with bad technique, I can look back at a few moments when I was really up against it. Once, being out on the sharp end on a difficult slab. The mental fortitude needed to keep it together to get to the next bolt was mentally exhausting, although not as physical as other types of climbing.
As for the hardest, I remember being totally gassed at the top of the Rostrum. I was barely hanging on, stabbing at the finger crack. Too pumped to pull trigger on the Friends, I'd push the pieces into the crack with the butt of my hand. An onsight was ten feet away, but my fingers were groping at the flared locks and my feet were blowing as the grip clenched ever tighter. At the belay, I pretty much collapsed, and tried to hide my happiness that the last lead wasn't mine.
It's tough to zero in on one thing and say it was harder than other things you've done. And for some, it might be hard to admit that anything is actually "hard" at all. Still, it's an interesting thought puzzle--to think about when you might have been at your max.
So how about it, any good stories about things that were hard?
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bhilden
Trad climber
Mountain View, CA
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Jul 15, 2010 - 05:12am PT
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Driving around and around in Valence, France on Bastille day at midnight trying to find your hotel that is on a street that your GPS says doesn't exist after covering the Tour de France all day in staggering heat and humidity. And that is just one of 24 or 25 such days in a row.
And it is much harder for the riders in the Tour de France!!!!
Bruce
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Robb
Social climber
The other "Magic City on the Plains"
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Jul 15, 2010 - 05:37am PT
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How about being happily married for 30 years? Makes the short, things of the moment pale by comparison.
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BooDawg
Social climber
Paradise Island
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Jul 15, 2010 - 06:56am PT
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In the physical realm, my hardest task may have been waking up at 19,200’ elevation in Afghanistan’s Hindu Kush and attempting to go to the summit of Koh-i-Mondi, over 20,000’, and finding that I could barely make any gain of elevation, even tho the climbing at that place was not technically difficult. My body just would not respond to all my best efforts and I soon gave it up and returned to the tent and collapsed there.
Or it might have been trying to climb the W. face of the Leaning Tower, it’s 6th ascent, around the solstice (long, hot days) of 1965, attempting to climb it in one day. Due to the heat, Lauria’s and my energies were sapped, partly because we hadn’t brought enough water. By nightfall, at the top of the 7th pitch, I was SO TIRED and VERY THIRSTY!. Spending a sleepless night in a belay seat, I felt some comfort knowing that there would be some water for a good drink once dawn came. What I didn’t know was that Don had sipped most of the remaining water during the night, making the following morning’s climbing really difficult, dehydrated as I was. Never was Bridalveil Creek’s water so welcome!
However, Mark Twain, in “Connecticut Yankee…,” correctly, I believe, points out that physical hardship or abuse really is much less severe than emotional hardship and abuse, especially over a prolonged time period. My hardest emotional times were during the 16 months immediately preceeding my decision to divorce my ex-wife. While there’s no point in chronicling those events here, I can truly say that I used that time to reflect on who I was and what changes I resolved to make in myself to become a better man, father, and life-partner.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jul 15, 2010 - 09:07am PT
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armed with next to nil carpentry experience,
i designed and built my home in 10 months, foundation inspection to final inspection.
no tractors were used. i hand dug the foundation and hoisted all walls and beams with my climbing gear.
i broke a rib right outta the gate when i fell through the floor joists.
i kept going though cause my honey was keen for a home birth, and everyday her belly would report progress.
stacking and skining the steep roof was challenging. and the four dormers that we added as an afterthought stimied my framing skills.
this put me out more physically than anything else i've done.
university 'bout wrecked my spirit as i lived in the ghetto in my truck for 5 long years.
emotionally i've been most challenged with raising myself southat i can have a chance at raising my daughters.
challenges are where it's at. easy street sgot no love for me!
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Branscomb
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Jul 15, 2010 - 09:43am PT
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"emotionally i've been most challenged with raising myself southat i can have a chance at raising my daughters."
agree with Norwegian on this one...having a child (daughter) is the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm glad I waited until I was 42 to do it because I would have been REALLY bad any younger.
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hooblie
climber
from where the anecdotes roam
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Jul 15, 2010 - 09:46am PT
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whenever i encounter, oh say a really tough vacuum sealed item on a hang card, or clean my windshield of greasy raven pooh,
or stuff a stubborn cat in a carrier, i assure myself and any bystanders that: "that was the hardest thing i've ever done!"
i can be really convincing, buying into my own declarations, and as a result some form of buffer overun has purged
my memory of any exertion predating my last battle with saranwrap in a high static duststorm
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telemon01
Trad climber
Montana
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Jul 15, 2010 - 10:08am PT
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The hardest thing I have ever done was selling a riverfront property in Montana that my wife and I bought back in 1991.
In the 13 years we spent there, we lived in a tipi, built a small cabin, got pregnant, built a home, had home births for both our children, and raised our kids in an amazingly beautiful natural environment.
As the kids got older, and their activity and social circles grew, we realized that the daily 20 mile commute to school and town was not working for us.
It was one of the biggest sacrifices that we have had to make. Fortunately, we sold during a strong market with high demand. Our new property, on the outskirts of town, captures a bit of the natural elements we so highly value, but the pain of letting that property go still lingers.
Navigating life, learning about attachments, and letting go.
Good, soulful stuff.
Marc
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Branscomb
Trad climber
Lander, WY
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Jul 15, 2010 - 10:27am PT
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It's like the Dead said "When life looks like Easy Street, there is danger at your door." Guess you have to keep that in mind when it gets tough.
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Jim Wilcox
Boulder climber
Santa Barbara
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Jul 15, 2010 - 10:30am PT
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Terminate someone's employment
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TwistedCrank
climber
Ideeho-dee-do-dah-day boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom
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Jul 15, 2010 - 10:33am PT
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Recovered from prostate surgery.
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Jul 15, 2010 - 10:41am PT
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Hooblie, you almost achieved weeginess there!
I have to think about it awhile....hmmmmm.....this may be the hardest thing I've ever done.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jul 15, 2010 - 11:09am PT
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the only thing between me and freedom is life.
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ydpl8s
Trad climber
Santa Monica, California
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Jul 15, 2010 - 11:49am PT
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Working in Uganda in 1983, Idi Amin left that country in a shambles. We were paying $200 a night for a hotel room that had 1 light bulb, at night the giant cockroaches ran constantly over your body, we had to haul buckets of water from an algae filled pool to flush the toilets. There were self described "militia" everywhere with AK-47's stopping you and having you put your hands on the car while they looked at your passport. But, the worst was seeing the fear in the eyes of the people. They were like animals that had been beaten too much, flinched at every sound, leery of everyone. I worked with a geologist whose whole family had been tortured and murdered at the Malindi Barracks.
Most of us have no idea what a gift our freedom is.
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Derek
climber
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Jul 15, 2010 - 12:10pm PT
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Watching my twin daughters struggle for life in the NICU after being born prematurely at 1 lb 14 ounces and 2 lb 5 ounces. They're 4 years old now, and completely healthy little bundles of energy. But for 2 months it was touch and go. The docs told me that they wouldn't have survived had they been born 15 years earlier. It was only recent medical advances that saved them. Let me tell you, the time they were in the NICU makes everything I experienced before, and everything since, seem trivial by comparison. I fervently hope to never experience anything like it again, but you never know what twists and turns life will take...all we can do is hang on for the ride.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Jul 15, 2010 - 12:20pm PT
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That's hardcore rough, Derek!!!
Glad to hear they're fine now. Wow.....
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jul 15, 2010 - 12:26pm PT
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derek
i can't imagine the depth of struggle associated with holding a dear loved one's hand as they balance on the sharp edge of life. as a father of two beautiful girls, i try real hard to keep these potential perils on the periphery of my emotional focus. that worry, though, seeps into my dreams when my guard is asleep.
i commend you for seeing through those immense struggles. your hat probably fits you just right, now.
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Josh Higgins
Trad climber
San Diego
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Jul 15, 2010 - 12:51pm PT
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The hardest thing I ever did was to support my now ex-wife while she was going through depression and she thought the solution was moving out. It devastated me in ways that I didn't know possible, especially when my efforts were all for nothing and we divorced.
When it comes to climbing, I've consistently pushed the limits so the stories could go on and on, but three stand out.
-Onsight of Mr Joshua in The Grampians, Australia. On the ledge at the belay anchors I was on my hands and knees panting for over 5 minutes before I had the strength to clip the anchors. It was possibly the most devastated I've ever been after successfully completing a climb.
-Onsight of The Totem Pole in Tasmania, Australia. I battled that lead for for over an hour. I didn't have a watch with me. Maybe it was close to two? It was a long time...
-NIAD. It was my longest car to car effort yet. I hallucinated, couldn't stand at the end, and had a mini breakdown on route. Good stuff. I'd do it again... Trip report HERE.
Josh
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FeelioBabar
Trad climber
One drink ahead of my past.
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Jul 15, 2010 - 12:59pm PT
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Tip of the hat, to the first line of the above post. I feel ya bro.
The hardest thing I have ever done was letting go of the woman I loved and devoted my life to, in hopes she would be happier with someone else.
Many years of wildland firefighting, and 18 years of climbing seem light duty by comparison.
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apogee
climber
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Jul 15, 2010 - 01:09pm PT
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I dunno...if asked at an earlier point in my life, that answer would be clearer, but now that I'm bearing down on my 5th decade here, a lot of stuff has come my way, many of which others have mentioned upthread. I guess that's the upside to these life challenges- we really do get stronger as life goes by, and challenges move into a different perspective.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Jul 15, 2010 - 01:44pm PT
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I'm with Apogee on this. I went through a rough divorce that was devastating at the time, but in retrospect...well...I got though it and my life kicks ass right now. But I ain't no fool, I'm sure there's much more to come.
Life can sure seem like a bitch sometimes, but the good times make it worthwhile.
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Jul 15, 2010 - 01:56pm PT
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I should say with my above post that I didn't intend to diminish what some of you have been through...
Damn, Chief....I don't even know what to say on that one.
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Wayno
Big Wall climber
Seattle, WA
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Jul 15, 2010 - 01:57pm PT
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Do you mean the hardest endeavor that I ever attempted or the hardest thing I have ever endured? Two different animals in my book.
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High Fructose Corn Spirit
Gym climber
Full Silos of Iowa
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Jul 15, 2010 - 02:01pm PT
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The hardest thing I've ever done was 30 years ago, when I was in my 20s. It was a struggle over many years. That "thing" was (a) coming to grips with the so-called Scientific Story in the face of the Abrahamic narrative and Abrahamic super-religion, (b) coming to grips with the material basis and one-shot mortality of all living things, including human beings, (c) realizing how this new scientific education and the commitment to "live up to it" were going to put me at odds with family and the pop majority. Now I realize in hindsight those difficulties- tho mighty overwhelming at times- were merely growing pains.
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Jul 15, 2010 - 02:06pm PT
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Maybe right now as my 12 year old Lab is in rapid decline with kidney failure. I'm having all those "feelings" about did I do enough with her, did I take her enough places, did we go to the beach enough considering we live in Santa Cruz...did I take her to the mountains enough....it;s hard...and I keep looking for the "spark" that says maybe this is just a temporary issue. I am so glad I am not working right now. Having a baby at 40 was pretty hard too.
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Seamstress
Trad climber
Yacolt, WA
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Jul 15, 2010 - 02:16pm PT
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I used to think it was when my first child's father left me while I was pregnant, and I had to beg to stay with my family and help to stay in college. Over 30 years ago, single motherhood was no piece of cake for a teenage girl. All "help" pointed to abortion or dropping out of college. For two years, I went through the motions of life to take care of my child but was deeply depressed.
After that, life's ups and downs were pretty much in persepctive, and I rolled well with the punches drawing on strength form that experience. 51 hours of labor with my last child - over quickly compared to the humiliation and chaos of that first child.
Then my last child (17) ran away and threatened self harm. I found her and managed to get her committed to a residential program. I would rather endure physical harm and public humiliation to myself over desparately searching for my child and fighting for their mental/physical health. Your legal ability to help them is so limited by well intentioned laws to prevent abuse. She is OK now, but I still panic that a disappointment or borken heart could precipitate another meltdown.
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Tattooed 1
Trad climber
Sebastopol, Ca
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Jul 15, 2010 - 02:27pm PT
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Watch ER staff perform CPR on my dad for 38 minutes after his heart attack last year. I didn't think it could get any harder than that. Three months later I got the call that my son had been in a motorcycle accident and they were not sure if he would survive. The 5 hour drive to the hospital in LA was even harder. It was a tough year.
Both of them lived and are doing well.
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Bad Acronym
climber
Little Death Hollow
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Jul 15, 2010 - 03:29pm PT
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Working at this f---ing job, year after f---ing year, while trying to remain inspired and get enough f---ing sleep to remain recognizably human.
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zeta
Trad climber
Berkeley
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Jul 15, 2010 - 03:48pm PT
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hardest thing endured:
it was the 9 months when my dad was in the hospital after his stroke (in and out of the ICU; mom hanging together by a thread, flying home every month and each time in the hospital fearing that it was the last time I'd see my dad). During that same time period, having a serious relationship fall apart, quitting my job in DC, moving back to California, and deciding to go back to school...much stress and worry. BUT...in the end, those were the best set of decisions I made about my life. Even though I lost my dad a year and a half ago, I'll always be glad that I moved back to CA and had much more time with him.
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Hawkeye
climber
State of Mine
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Jul 15, 2010 - 03:54pm PT
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If a climb is the hardest thing you've ever done in life, that's a good indicator of complete shallowness and egocentricity.
Just sayin', E.
that was my initial reaction....
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MisterE
Social climber
Bouncy Tiggerville
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Jul 15, 2010 - 04:03pm PT
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Guess I have just been lucky enough to never have any major medical problems, never had to suffer through the loss of a close loved one or friend, or had any really bad break-ups.
Take it as you will.
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lucaskrajnik
Trad climber
Anchorage, AK
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Jul 15, 2010 - 04:04pm PT
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I was visiting one of my best friends I looked up to alot, he was really strong back in the day,(he's a quadraplegic now) and we took him and his sister down to a local park, we had some home made tacos just before. And on our way one of his legs started to spasm. We thought it would eventually stop so we kept walking toward the park, once we arrived. His entire body started to spasm, he started turning ghost white, he was becoming very tired since his body hadnt worked that hard since before his accident. I called his mom to come pick us up and take us to the hospital, because he wouldnt stop spasming. After about 4 minutes he started fadeing in and out... and sweating, screaming for his mom crying he's dieing. While I stood helplessly asking him to stop moving.?..
She got there I wheeled him in the van.. and she raced off to the hospital.. he ended up staying overnight and eventually stopped, they never found out why he started spasming.
It was very scary... not that hard.. but to watch
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k-man
Gym climber
SCruz
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Topic Author's Reply - Jul 15, 2010 - 05:25pm PT
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Do you mean the hardest endeavor that I ever attempted or the hardest thing I have ever endured? Two different animals in my book.
Indeed Wayno, two very different animals. When I wrote the OP, I was trying to start a new climbing post [without turning it into a bragging contest]. But soon after posting, I realized that the hardest thing I ever did wasn't really climbing related. So yeah, there are physical hardships that we go through (and they come in the flavors of things we put upon ourselves and things that are put upon ourselves) and the non-physical things of difficulty that we're here to endure. Anguish I suppose.
I've had my own set of medical problems, went through a personal hell in a breakup, and drove my dad around Tijuana with an IV in his arm as we looked for a hospital that might take him in. All VERY different from the physical endeavors that I put upon myself when I go climbing.
To Damn this looks high, Yeah. F'in Hard, I hear that.
Thanks for sharing folks. Life ~is~ hard, and then you... Go Climbing!!
Looking forward to hearing more...
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Jul 15, 2010 - 05:44pm PT
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I was on a TV show with Bridwell, down by Angel Falls, and I met my future wife there in the jungle. Years later, with two girls, I realized that the marriage was a bust and had never worked. I didn't know what I was doing or who I was. I couldn't make it work - that takes two willing participants. That left me nowhere at all. That's an altered state and a world adrift that I imagine half the world knows intimately but when you are there you feel like the last man on earth. The only way out was to join the human race. I'm still working on that one, but I have two wonderful guides: Marianne del Valle and Marhjohny.
Marianne and Boyfriend, Lino, also 5th year med students.
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dave goodwin
climber
carson city, nv
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Jul 15, 2010 - 06:03pm PT
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Dealing with the death of my dad. He was a bush pilot and his plane disappeared in Cook Inlet outside of Anchorage, and the plane has never been found. I was only 5 months old, but I think about him EVERYDAY and I never got a chance to really know him. When I was younger I was always convinced that someday he would just walk through the door.
i am always thinking what my life would have been like with him alive. I had a horrible step father growing up and this only made the wondering of who my real dad was even worse.
For those who have lost their parent/s I feel for you. Keep a hold of the memories that you had with them. I being 5 months old when my father disappeared left me with no memories at all just a thought of "what if"??
This has been the hardest thing for me because it never ends, I deal with it everyday. I want to know my dad!!!
take care
dave
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ME Climb
Social climber
Behind the Orange Curtain
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Jul 15, 2010 - 06:40pm PT
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My divorce was hard, I still deal with it everyday, but the absolute worst was at my brother's funeral. The man who gave the eulogy was great and let us all remember who my brother was. Afterwords they played Taps. At that point I had to stand up and invite the overflowing crowd of the church to come to his home and celebrate his life.
At that moment I realized what a great man, father, hero, and friend my brother was to not only me, but to all that knew him. I was honored to do it, but it still brings tears to my eyes.
Corky, I love you and miss you! I hope I am making you proud!
Eric
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bluering
Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
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Jul 15, 2010 - 07:47pm PT
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Dave, I feel for you. Sorry about your Dad. I don't really know what to tell you. But you're Dad is probably looking down on you with the same kind of feelings. That he wished he was there to hang with you. Sounds like you're doing well in life. Maybe he still looks after you. I don't want to get too religious here, I catch sh#t for it, but try to take solice in the fact your Dad didn't want to leave you. It was an unfortunate accident. You Pop would undoubtedly have giving a lot to change things or make things better. Sorry for your loss, man. I'm fighting some tears right now. Hang tough, buddy, your Dad watches over you.
ME climb, sorry about your bro. I have a brother too. F*#k, this is turning into a tear-jerker thread. I'm sure your bro is proud of you.
Chief said;
That is the reality beast that we as climbers really need to comprehend and accept each and every time we leave the car and head for the crag.
Yeah, I kinda tried to explain this to some of my newer climber buddies last weekend in Tuolumne. Sometimes if you don't feel it, you should re-think what you're doing. I was stoked on leading some routes and after getting lost and seperated from half our party, I refused to do my chosen leads. They were disappointed (but they led instead and had fun) and I just told them that I wasn't feeling it. They kept coaxing me to do it, but in the end, I said, "I ain't feeling it, it ain't gonna happen".
I listen to my body and my head.
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dave goodwin
climber
carson city, nv
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Jul 15, 2010 - 08:22pm PT
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Thanks Blue I appreciate that. I am not a religious person myself (agnostic) but it is nice to think that maybe he is lookin down on me. Who knows.
I rarely agree with you and you do know how to push peoples buttons, but you seem like an alright person with a big heart (outside of politics and war) ha ha
you know we both had a son around the same time and you seem to be a good family man. I try and be everything to my son that my dad would have been to me. It is my way of dealing with the absence of my father, I want to provide my son with all the love and support he deserves. I know you are trying the same.
take care
dave
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ME Climb
Social climber
Behind the Orange Curtain
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Jul 15, 2010 - 10:25pm PT
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Thanks Blue!
Eric
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| Messages 1 - 42 of total 42 in this topic |
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SuperTopo on the Web
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Taking responsibility for not being a daily presence in my children's life, so I don't blame my ex for it and hold on to anger and frustration. I have held on to the belief that she has "robbed me of my fatherhood," and this belief has cast a deep and dark shadow over my life in the last 2 years of muddling through a divorce. I have come to accept that I chose my path and associated consequences given the circumstances that neither of us planned or expected
Let us know!