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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Jan 17, 2013 - 12:08am PT
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Good for you, Michelle. Glad to hear that you're taking this step. If you need any support or need to talk, please send me a message. We are all here to help each other.
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Jan 17, 2013 - 12:41am PT
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Michelle sending good vibes your way. That personal inventory part can be hard to handle. Just get it done and move on. It really is worth the effort. I just love living in my own skin. Even when I am in pain.
I don't get down on myself for stupid stuff. I just say I will learn to do it better. I really work on the self talk stuff and don't let myself say things to me that I would punch someone else in the mouth if they said it to me.
Try to be good to yourself through the tough parts.
It is always good to have friends and peers to help with the perspective part of getting sober. It helps also to have friends that will call you on crap too.
It really comes down to balance and patience.
Just letting you know there is another someone out there that cares.
All the best
Plaid
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Gilroy
Social climber
Boulderado
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Jan 17, 2013 - 09:07am PT
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Best wishes for finding what you need, Michelle. I come here often for strength and counsel in the daily struggles we all face. Most helpful. Though a life of sobriety is not my expectation, I am 3 months now without intoxicants. I'll be back to check in but without a chip in my pocket. You guys and gals are my program.
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Jan 17, 2013 - 12:18pm PT
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"Work your own program. That's some of the best advice I've heard lately."
That's all we can ever do IMO.
Our tendency to work someone else's program (and the insanity and grief that causes) is why Alanon was created. That's an exceedingly slippery but effective program if you can ever get hold of it.
The greatest advice I ever got in Alanon was from an old timer. I was complaining about not knowing what to do with an impossible significant other. He said, "Leave her alone." In other words: Let her work her own program. Or not. Anything else is playing God, and that doesn't work for sh#t.
Leaving people alone, to wrangle things their own way, but with mutual support, is the essence of recovery IME. The only thing I can say for sure about an alcoholic is that they should never take a drink. Beyond that is truly beyond me, and is none of my business.
JL
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Vegasclimber
Trad climber
Las Vegas, NV.
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Jan 17, 2013 - 12:30pm PT
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Jebus and John, thanks for that reminder. It's a really good point to bring up.
I also had a problem with this earlier in my recovery, and found out that all it does is add to the exact type of drama that I have to avoid to stay sober. I have a hard enough time working with my own problems to try and "fix" someone else. All I can do is be there and try to help if they ask.
My sponsor told me frequently that I need to keep my side of the street clean, and let others worry about their side.
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Jan 17, 2013 - 12:33pm PT
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^^^Words never been better said. I am done babysitting drunks and willing them sober. I am there with support and love. If advice is asked I GIVE IT. BUT MOSTLY JUST MIND MY OWN BUSINESS. Sometimes it is difficult.
I don't have to be right all the time.
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happiegrrrl
Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
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Jan 17, 2013 - 03:11pm PT
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I'll drink(a glass of juice) to that, Largo.
To understand where another ends and I begin, and to stay on my side of that fence. Easier said than done, but incredibly interesting to do my best to try. Nonetheless, I find drama toxic to my self, and cannot tolerate much of it. I tend to keep a distance from people I find tick that tock on my clock.
Michelle - Best of luck to you, and glad to see you were in the thread!
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Michelle
Trad climber
Toshi's Station, picking up power converters.
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Jan 17, 2013 - 03:39pm PT
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Day 2 - this sucks balls. I forgot how much fun this is.
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Marlow
Sport climber
OSLO
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Jan 17, 2013 - 04:11pm PT
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SCseagoat
Trad climber
Santa Cruz
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Jan 17, 2013 - 04:18pm PT
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Yeah Michelle....sucking balls may be bad but sucking the chrome off a trailer hitch is worse...hang in there!
Susan
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notapplicable
Trad climber
richmond, VA
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Jan 17, 2013 - 04:53pm PT
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I find this thread very interesting. I am at this point, I suppose, off the wagon. At least technically. Between the ages of 15 and 24ish I would eat, drink, smoke and snort anything you put in front of me. Loved it all and I was no weekend warrior. All day everyday was my motto. Eventually it started making me feel worse than it did good. It was never a psychological thing or how it effected my life. It was purely physiological. It just didn't feel good to get f*#ked up most of the time. So I stopped. No meetings or anything, just stopped. Missed smoking pot some but never the rest.
8 years later I decided to get drunk over Thanksgiving and it felt good. I've pretty much been hammered since. Pharma and booze mostly but we'll see what else is out there. Most of the old connections are gone but drugs are a great social conduit. Not sure how long it lasts this time round. It's a fun hobby so I don't have plans one way or the other.
It's just interesting how and why different people put the poison down and why they pick it up again. Good luck folks - whichever side of the slope you're on!
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Jan 18, 2013 - 08:03pm PT
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Thank you. notaplicable. it's posts like your that help us stay sober and re assure us that we are on a a good path..
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Pollock Pines, California
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Jan 18, 2013 - 08:51pm PT
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go n.a.
go until you threshold,
then go a little further.
go well beyond where the cowards cave and criticize.
beyonds that beg of you to crawl back towards
two livings.
nothing wrong with stimulating the warrior within,
in this absurd fight for a beating heart.
stay freaky,
run a marathon in shoes untied.
life is a fluid that freezes now
and thaws then.
get gills.
they swerve us well.
i hate the preachers on the path of
some self-prescribed holiness.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Jan 18, 2013 - 08:55pm PT
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The weege is also a good reminder as to why i quit drinking. i still get pleanty freaky just do it without poisioning my soul....
Looking down while soloing....soloing nekid.. Ice baby ICE:)
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Jan 18, 2013 - 08:55pm PT
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Took me 5 1/2 years to stop taking the ex's inventory. My first step toward actually getting my life back.
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bvb
Social climber
flagstaff arizona
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Jan 18, 2013 - 09:00pm PT
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Between the ages of 15 and 24ish I would eat, drink, smoke and snort anything you put in front of me
For me this was true from 13 to 54. Literally. All of the days. I used to snort coke at my desk when I worked for the navy, get hammered during lunch when I was running parks. And if you didn't put it in front of me, by God I'd go find it. I do not recommend this.
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tradmanclimbs
Ice climber
Pomfert VT
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Jan 18, 2013 - 09:08pm PT
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Interestingly I quit doing most of the drugs in my teens. did some coke in the eightys but never as a habbit. Smoked some pot in the mid nintys but again not a habbit just ocasional recreation. an 8th of an ounce of good weed would last me about a year or so. Beer and whisky on the other hand had a short life expectancy in my presence right up untill 2006..
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Jan 18, 2013 - 11:54pm PT
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I had a program friend over here today and was reflecting on my last few months of using, when I'd wake up three or four times in the night and would have to take a stiff one to fall back asleep and - I thank my lucky stars for sobriety. Drunkalogues are not my favorites but sometimes it is instructive to remember the dark nights.
JL
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Plaidman
Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Jan 19, 2013 - 10:02am PT
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The blackouts were the scariest. I never knew where I would end up. It was just like adventure but frightening. I don't miss that part. In fact I don't miss much of the insanity.
It was really quit or die. I chose life. And what a life it has been.
I stayed alive long enough to learn to climb and meet the soul mate I thought I would never have. She is a rock climbin babe. I am a blessed man.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Pollock Pines, California
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Jan 19, 2013 - 11:15am PT
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sweet plaidman,
you were post 1096
on the sobriety thread.
a special # among us freaks.
im glad to hear of anyone
with some wellness in their heart.
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