Sobriety (off topic or not)?


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Ice climber
Pomfert VT
Mar 2, 2019 - 05:18pm PT
Happie. sorry you have so much sh#t to deal with... best of luck with you and your kin.

Trad climber
Mar 2, 2019 - 05:30pm PT
Ever been to AK?

Sounds conservative. Lol

That might be just the beers.

Trad climber
Mar 2, 2019 - 06:45pm PT
On a good note - my sister posted today on FB that her oldest son checked into a 90 day rehab last Monday.

This is especially poignant because one story that my brother told me today in his drunken ranting was that last weekend he and this nephew were drinking together and a neighbor called the police apparently(according to my brother...) because they were being too loud late at night. My brother ended up arrested that night.

No idea if my nephew was also arrested but SOMETHING happened that got him to go to rehab within the next day or so.

Keep my nephew "Bob"(his nickname) in your thoughts, please!

Interestingly, a month or so ago, I had extended an invitation to visit my place to him and he was super psyched at the idea. I have been wondering how I would deal with it. It's going to be SO great if he gets clean and can come out with a sober visit.

Trad climber
electric lady land
Mar 2, 2019 - 09:52pm PT
It's rough. Trying to get into detox w/no
insurance is debt and a no go.Belive it when
I say it because I've tried it. Medical detox
is out of the hands of those who most need it.
I for one need it and spent weeks looking for help
but it's just not to be found.
Any suggestions?

The Good Places
Mar 2, 2019 - 10:54pm PT
ST is a simultaneously amazing and awful place d-know, thank you for reaching out.

I know that alcohol withdrawal can outright kill you, unlike H-ron withdrawal (excepting seizure and then head trauma in a fall type scenario, etc.), and my family is short two members directly along these lines of withdrawing from alcohol. I will have a learned answer for you in about 10 hours from the folks I most trust on issues of medicine and addiction.

Peace be with you. Your openness in full view of the often-vituperative peanut gallery reminds me of the expression: "no good deed goes unpunished." Keep your skin thick and I hope to have a good answer for you shortly.

Also, I want to communicate my admiration and give thanks to all of folks here sharing support and offering insight: Happiegirl for persistent and ever-open kindness and sharing of knowledge, Largo for heavyweight backup of the legitimacy of this topic on this site, Tradman for sharing his own redpoint philosophy for better living sans ETOH in yer neuro- and biochemistry, The Hankster for starting the thread, Johntp for the open history sharing (and the tube chocks he gifted me!), Sprock-dad and Weege for their own funky and f*#ky ways of showing their perspective while still (I think) voicing support for others in the struggle, and to all the others that share their own paths and strategies and ways forward, without or with more tightly managed ETOH intake.


The Granite State.
Mar 3, 2019 - 03:29am PT
D Know, email me. btmayo79atgmaildotcom

Trad climber
Mar 3, 2019 - 06:44am PT
D-know: I believe that the local Intergroup offices in AA regions will have information as to whatever options are available.

You can look up "Alcoholics Anonymous + your nearest city" and you should get the number.

They are not only there to advise about AA meetings but to act as a general reference. When I was active in NYC AA I sometimes would volunteer to answer the phones and there was a list of places people could go for help, some free of fees.

Suggestion- call during daytime hours when there is more apt to be an old hat at the place familiar with things. It is all volunteers and understand you may get the call answered by someone who may not be fully aware of every detail the office has access to. Good to have someone there who does.

Trad climber
electric lady land
Mar 3, 2019 - 10:16am PT
Thanks to all who took time to recognise my existence.
Brandon I sent you an email

Happie, Thanks for the recommendation.
Jim Clipper

Mar 3, 2019 - 10:22am PT
Nice to wake up on a Sunday and see the real support. Keep on keeping on..

The Good Places
Mar 3, 2019 - 10:39am PT
my folks here are lining up with Happie's advice. I think that she has as good as any I can come up with.

no matter what dude, just keep projecting on towards your goal. you look like you push hard in climbing, and I love Tradman's redpoint analogy. If you can find medical detox, go for it, but either way this is a redpoint mission. you can send it: just like you sent the hardest free moves you've redpointed elsewhere, it's a process. just look for that next crimper or shitty foot dish and try your best. we're right there with you.

beaming some good vibes to Bob and to others in the next gen of your relatives, Happie.
Off White

Tenino, WA
Mar 3, 2019 - 06:34pm PT

Trad climber
Mar 3, 2019 - 07:10pm PT
I watched BVB through my computer screen for a long time, and it was very influential on me and my eventual sobriety.

Thanks for continuing to share, OffWhite.

Rest in Peace always seems sincere and appropriate, but the reality is that we have One Chance before lights out.
Off White

Tenino, WA
Mar 3, 2019 - 10:49pm PT
Treezy, he would be moved to tears to hear that. Well done.

The Good Places
Mar 8, 2019 - 08:29pm PT

I have not reached the self-mastery of those that I most admire. Tears come easily for me. But I have finally chosen the path of self-mastery, embracing my inability to have a single bevvy. Measure my liberation in weeks or days, whatever, but tonight for the first time in as long as I can remember, I cried tears of joy. I am sober. And I f*#king love it.

After he had journeyed,
And his feet were sore,
And he was tired,
He came upon an orange grove
And he rested.
And he lay in the cool,
And while he rested,
He took to himself an orange
And tasted it,
And it was good.
And he felt the earth to his spine,
And he asked,
And he saw the tree above him,
And the stars,
And the veins in the leaf,
And the light,
And the balance.
And he saw magnificent perfection,
Whereon he thought of himself in balance,
And he knew he was.
___**Just open your eyes, and realize,
The way it's always been.**__
Just open your mind and you will find
The way it's always been.
Just open your heart and that's a start
And he thought of those he angered,
For he was not a violent man,
And he thought of those he hurt
For he was not a cruel man
And he thought of those he frightened
For he was not a evil man,
And he understood.
He understood himself.
Upon this
He saw that when he was of anger
Or knew hurt
Or felt fear,
It was because he was not understanding.
And he learned, compassion.
And with his eye of compassion
He saw his enemies
Like unto himself,
And he learned love.
Then, he was answered.
Just open your eyes, and realize,
The way it's always been.
Just open your mind and you will find
The way it's always been.
Just open your heart and that's a start
Just open your eyes, and realize,
The way it's always been.
Just open your mind and you will find
The way it's always been.
Just open your heart and that's a start

[Click to View YouTube Video]

Thank you to those that came before but did not find their path to freedom; my dear maternal grandmother, my dear sweet Uncle Robin, gone too soon to the poison and the sickness. Thank you to BVB and to Jason and to all those that gave me the lessons that took so long to finally stick.

It's been a long time coming for me, this self-driving-self, and I am so curious to see what this does to my drive to solo new route on my sacred secret summits, to my relationship with my wife, to my career non-trajectory (MSci Org Geochem Carpentry anyone?).

Today was a good day. Tomorrow may be harder but it will be better with a closer to mastered self.
Off White

Tenino, WA
Mar 8, 2019 - 09:08pm PT
Pretty brave there Mr Cowboy, best of luck to you, I hope you stick with it. I'd urge you to find some local support. There are alternatives to AA if you're not particularly the god bothering sort.

I think this thread in particular is open to a little oversharing, seems like folk get treated pretty gently and often it's the absolute best of ST. Tip o' the cap to Mr Caylor for starting it.

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Mar 9, 2019 - 02:31am PT
Cheers cowboy

Trad climber
Mar 9, 2019 - 06:01am PT
It angers me that admitting our vulnerabilities and exposing our secret shames, fears, outrages and humiliations is dubbed "oversharing."

The sequestering of our secrets makes us feel we are the only ones who(fill in the blank). It keeps us from feeling confident in our place in society. I don't trust people who see exposure of the truth as a Dracula on a bloodletting. I can't help but wonder what it is that THEY know is their secret shame and will carry to the grave. Kind of like the holier-than-thou politicians who are hiding embezzlement, briberies, blackmails, infidelities and corruption.

But back to the thread - way to go, BraveCowboy. Trust that sober mule you ride on. Path may get rocky at times, but the mule is stubborn, resilient, sure-footed and tenacious.

Social climber
Mar 9, 2019 - 06:35am PT
hey there say, bravecowboy... keep up the good work, ...

and of course pup-dog, will be twice the happier!

and, the trails, will be twice, the lovely, as to god's nature,
around you...

hugs, to happiegrrrl...

my friend, got her 'lovely work' from you life-of-truth...

however, she is old fashioned and wanted to open it, after the
day out, for the birthday treat...

*say, as to sharing truth... she has shared her life, openly, and
she is 96...

what is to hide...?
your life is you... it's going to follow you somehow, anyways,
somehow-- she is very up-front...
although, not gushy about it... (she said she her nature of german, is
what you see is what you get... you either like her, or you don't)...


being out in the light and not having to live in shadows, whether of the
'now' or, 'the past' : give freedom...

and, the light, also, after freedom, give life...
there are things we can learn from nature, flower gardens...
our pets, etc...

there is a lot of mold, and damp rot, in the hidden darkness...
it can be used as 'fertilizer' if we give it up, and
cultivate the NEW, in the light of day...

best wishes and good luck, and prayers, as to all those,
starting out new...

a day at a time, leads to the rest of your life...

Social climber
Southern Arizona
Mar 9, 2019 - 07:08am PT
A brave thread, in many ways. TFPU, all.

The Good Places
Mar 10, 2019 - 07:34pm PT
Thanks y'all. I appreciate your not begrudging me the overshare.

I really dig that sober mule thing, Happie. I'm keeping it. :-)

I am building my first (poverty) boat offa the pile of some old guy's offal (awful?) deal of the century, and I dissembled part of his old seat deck today. This really spoke to me, pulling off his sweet coozy and watching it disintegrate:

We see what we choose to or want to see for sure...
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