Sobriety (off topic or not)?

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Messages 1201 - 1220 of total 1668 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
SCseagoat

Trad climber
Santa Cruz
Apr 25, 2013 - 07:13pm PT
slip right now, for me, would be catastrophic


Yup....you need to stay whole, not just for yourself but Teddy too!

All the best,
Susan
DickMcfartin

Ice climber
soewhere over the rainbow....
Apr 25, 2013 - 08:23pm PT
Hang in sober is always waaaay more easy than strung out.

Being a addict is a sh#t ton of work. Not trying to dismiss that it is not a bitch to stay sober also. But give in and within hours life will be waaaay more work like by at least 10 fold and then 10 fold again the day after and the day after and the day after till only the scum of the earth wants anything to do with and chances are just because you have something they want. Your real friends and family will only talk to you if you are gonna get help and you dont wanna talk to them anyway as it just makes you feel like sh#t about yourself as it makes it clear as day just how f*#ked up you are!!

Hang tuff go to a meeting, if that is not you thing do what is quick. For me it is climbing. I do it 3-4 days a week...
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Apr 25, 2013 - 08:39pm PT
I'm looking forward to going to a meeting on Monday, being around others trying to get healthy.
Plaidman

Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
Apr 26, 2013 - 01:07am PT
happiegrrrl -- I think about what I don't want. I sobered up not to just stop drinking. It was all the consequences that I got sick of. Like flipping cars, blacking out and ending up in weird places.

Then today it is what I would not feel. Today I cried cause I felt so much. It wasn't good or bad. Maybe it sounds silly, but I am intense. I just won't go back to the coma that was my life before.

Sometimes staying sober is just waiting long enough to see that next thing that makes it worth it. Or like a really hard climb that you just have to stay in balance mentally and physically, even spiritually because the key to that pitch is just the next hold that unlocks the whole climb.

Awe well, sometimes I just stay sober cause my higher power and it's just easier. It really is the easier softer way. Even when it's hard.

Plaid
Norwegian

Trad climber
the tip of god's middle finger
Apr 26, 2013 - 02:14pm PT
my daughters saw it in my eye,
and understood my tone.

"here goes dad.
who knows where, but surely he is gone for
a moment or even a few days.

we respect his search. he always
comes back, eventually."

so we were whittling sticks in
the wood crib, we had a cozy fire
going. boston on radio waves...
not the horrible bombing story,
but instead, the band...

BORNE ON A FEELING!

and i launch into a speech,
aimed at no one in particular,
mainly at the walls whom always make me feel
uncomfortable....

and this time i watched my girls.
they scrambled a bit,
then found a comfortable perch:
maki seated,
anna leaning on one of those walls.

.... "sobriety?" i begin.
"...those whom make this pledge
are valid olympians. yes they are.
though, their firm emotional stance
suggests to me a naivety poised upon hope and optimism.

they think that they can deflect the bullet of
their undoing...

... buy some time.
....sell some smile.
not me. i've been doon the sober road,
and, yea, it leads somewhere...

though it lead to the same place that
my path of enjoyable addiction terminates....."

a half hour of something has passed.

my girls are still watching daddy.
i've been making a lamp,
all the while during my oration.

never are they riveted upon me
as in times like these.

open beings. all three of us.
where's mom?

probably baking bread,
love her.

so i see that a conclusion is in order,
and i wrap up my fleeting understanding with this:

"...i've a candle.
i burn it, seeking zen escape.

though evertime i light this candle,
i hear harley davidsons.

the ignition of the wick sounds just like
a harley roaring up my serene river canyon.

i hate harleys, i don't know how many times
i've swung fists according to my disdain of
those super-disrespectful-fvcks whom deem
it their right to attack the innocent silence...

but this candle.
those harleys.

a lesson is at hand, for me and mine.

zen is suffering.
alcoholism is an illness worthy of my physiology.
it just is my path.

i dont f*#king care,
the bills are paid,
we've a tall castle or two in the mountains.
song is borne, daily.
understanding is upset. daily.

prosperity is prey,
we, hunters..."

and thus my shout fades to a whisper.

"nice lamp daddy. whose it for?"

"oh. this lamp is for rick sumner.
rick's a good man. he traveled many untrodden
paths in our sierras. proud paths. proud man, rick."

"how much money, daddy, did you sell it for?"

"200 dollars, sweets. though the money is for
another good man and our friend, blitzo. he's sick
and needs some help. so rick donated the money,
i donated the stone, and the hole thru,
and the electron transfer across our brow's."

.. the girls stare at me with their beautiful
eyes and deep wonder...

nothing more is said,
cause we don't know the intent of the universe.

so we fumble onward together, as genetic companions.





Walleye

climber
The Hot Kiss on the end of a Wet Fist
Apr 26, 2013 - 02:20pm PT
"Addiction is like setting your hair on fire and then trying to put it out with a hammer""
Martin Sheen
Matt Sarad

climber
Apr 26, 2013 - 02:23pm PT
It's been five weeks of sobriety since the bike accident. Feels great. The broken ribs, collarbone, two vertebra, and skull fracture are also getting better.
kaholatingtong

Trad climber
Nevada City
Apr 26, 2013 - 02:44pm PT
quality prose weeg, props.
happiegrrrl

Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
Apr 26, 2013 - 03:59pm PT
Trying.

Very trying.

I am so confused I don't know what to do any more. I think I have really hosed myself. (But I won't drink. Why would I want to miss feeling and going through this!)


And if my own crap wasm't enough, I had a friend tell me that one of my websites is nonfunctional in Internet Explorer. Trying to get help getting that fixed - from tech geeks who forget that they code 5.14X and are speaking to someone who understands 3rd class code... GAHHH! I want to throw my computer against the wall.



Time to take a break.
Jaybro

Social climber
Wolf City, Wyoming
Apr 26, 2013 - 05:22pm PT
Happi. Is that lens still for sale? Will it work on my Nikon D5000 DLR? Gonna take me about a week.
S.Leeper

Social climber
somewhere that doesnt have anything over 90'
Apr 26, 2013 - 05:23pm PT
Came very close to AO today. A call to my sponsor did the trick!
Jebus H Bomz

climber
Peavine Basecamp
Apr 29, 2013 - 03:50pm PT
It's almost six months sober for me. It has been a long, strange trip so far, but it has been worth it.

I don't feel like listing the positives or the negatives right now. I hope one day it is easy to just say "I don't drink" without any more to add.

Here I am, sober as the day I was born. Simple as that. Not to say it's easy.

There's a lot of different ways to go about this "lifestyle" but I extend my thanks to you all here who have served as my community, whether you know it or not. The writing here by people I respect talking about this topic in a very real way has made a difference in my life. Incredible strength and insight has been shared. Thank you.

For lurkers: If your drinking is a problem, consider the words you see here and stop telling yourself lies. If you drink, drink responsibly.

I am trying to drink responsibly too. The other night I tended a gently crackling campfire as twilight grew into night and the stars slowly emerged through the silhouetted pines, and I drank in a fine vintage of experience and realized that I am finally learning who I am in this world.
orle

climber
Apr 29, 2013 - 04:02pm PT
The other night I tended a gently crackling campfire as twilight grew into night and the stars slowly emerged through the silhouetted pines, and I drank in a fine vintage of experience

Profound epiphany, brah :D

I quit the drink (and the subsequent benzo's) about 9 months ago. Still plays on my mind a lot, I'm sad to say.
Elcapinyoazz

Social climber
Joshua Tree
Apr 29, 2013 - 04:04pm PT
The writing here by people I respect talking about this topic in a very real way has made a difference in my life.

+1
orle

climber
Apr 29, 2013 - 04:05pm PT
I'll see your +1 and raise you a +2
Jebus H Bomz

climber
Peavine Basecamp
Apr 29, 2013 - 04:12pm PT
I quit the drink (and the subsequent benzo's) about 9 months ago. Still plays on my mind a lot, I'm sad to say.


Good on ya. I know, I think about it just like an ex, cursing the end while remembering the beginning. I'm sure you poured a lot into f*#king up just like I did. It ain't gonna be easy but I'm glad I'm finally doing it.

An etoh-free cheers to you guys and gals!
Edge

Trad climber
New Durham, NH
Apr 29, 2013 - 04:22pm PT
Keep up the good work, Jebus! It continues to get better every day away from the drink.
Hankster

Social climber
Golden, CO
Topic Author's Reply - Apr 29, 2013 - 05:08pm PT
Still plays on my mind a lot, I'm sad to say

I'm coming up on 3 years, life is incredible and I'm strong, but I still dream of my Dr. saying I have terminal cancer, that way I can re-lapse immediately... Fukcing sick right?
Plaidman

Trad climber
South Slope of Mt. Tabor, Portland, Oregon, USA
Apr 29, 2013 - 06:07pm PT
I'm coming up on 3 years, life is incredible and I'm strong, but I still dream of my Dr. saying I have terminal cancer, that way I can re-lapse immediately... Fukcing sick right?

Sick? No just alcoholic.

Plaid
happiegrrrl

Trad climber
www.climbaddictdesigns.com
Apr 29, 2013 - 07:15pm PT
I'm doing better than I was a few days ago, due to being able to get on the move again. I just want to get back to NY at this point, and a small influx of orders for my jewelry and hair accessories, plus an unexpected birthday gift(the only b/day gift I have gotten in many years was 2 years ago, a board game from the guy I was road-tripping with, and he could have had no idea how much that simple gift meant to me,) has given me a few hundred miles worth of travel.

But I am worried about the feelings of self-loathing, fear and desolation which will probably rise up when I am stopped again. It was pretty bad last week. Maybe I will remember that I made it through that, and feeling the way I did wasn't helpful at all. Hopefully I will.

Today is my birthday and my Facebook page was filled with wishes. I am pretty sure near every FB friend I have posted something. I can use that as proof that people do care, if I start to feel lost again. So, if I come on here pouting in the next week, tell me to STFU... but nicely, please.

Sober today, and feeling okay.
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