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quartziteflight
climber
Who knows?
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Jun 22, 2010 - 02:19pm PT
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Sharp end= not boring. Get after it.
Love that post.
The sharp end doesnt get boring, thats for sure! Neither does ripping downhill on a mtnbike at the edge of total catastrophe! There is a bit of letdown after that much stimulation!
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jun 22, 2010 - 02:22pm PT
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and what do you do when you digger that mtn bike and sit idle for 6 months while watching your collar bone heal.
a seranade? or a seranac.
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rrrADAM
climber
LBMF
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Jun 22, 2010 - 02:25pm PT
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Good on you brutha...
I've been Clean and Sober (same thing) for over 21 years now (Oct 23, 1988), and was a homeless drug addict prior to finding recovery. Although I'm more a friend of Jimmy K's than I am of Bill W's, if you know what I mean.
Recovery, for me, is a journy mainly of self-awareness and finding out who I really am, which is dynamic not static, so I'll never reach an end.
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Stevee B
Mountain climber
Oakland, CA
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Jun 22, 2010 - 03:49pm PT
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Been a friend of Bill for 20+ years now, climbing & skiing all over the planet. It's tough somedays on longer expeditions when my tentmates are smoking the ganj 6x day in the tent during a storm, but I've also met some of the best alpine partners, also in the program. One of my kayak guides in Peru was in the program - I noticed when I saw his spanish "daily reflections" book. I found much needed support in the middle of a hard time at a meeting in Kathmandu, Nepal. It's a great adventure and the best life I've ever known. Keep it up, the best is yet to be.
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Anxious Melancholy
Mountain climber
Between the Depths of Despair & Heights of Folly
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Jun 22, 2010 - 06:30pm PT
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Went to AA 30 years ago and told myself "I'm not like these people!" and continued to drink.
Went to AA 20 years ago and said, "Yeah, I drink, but I can stop for weeks at a time. I can't really be an alcoholic." and continued to drink.
Went to AA 10 years ago and said "Yeah, I'm an alcoholic, but so what. Give me another drink and eff off."
Last year I went to an AA meeting and said "I'm an alcoholic and I want what you have." Since then I've struggled mightily, with several weeks of sobriety here and there. I think its finally working and I've got 40 days today.
I used to drink heavily and go climbing, which is generally frowned upon, so most of my climbing adventures over the last couple of decades have been solo while inebriated. Smart eh? Yeah, I am very sick. Now that I'm sobering up I find soloing all the time is a lonely existence. I'm ready to start climbing with other people. Any recovering alcoholics here in So Cal looking for a partner?
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survival
Big Wall climber
A Token of My Extreme
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Jun 22, 2010 - 06:33pm PT
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Great post AM.
Hang in there bro.
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Largo
Sport climber
The Big Wide Open Face
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Jun 22, 2010 - 06:52pm PT
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There's a two year long step study at a local church. What a gift. Great to work a program. Death without it.
JL
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Plaidman
Trad climber
West Slope of Rocky Butte, Portland, Oregon, USA
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Jun 22, 2010 - 07:55pm PT
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This July it will be 25 yrs. clean and sober. It certainly has been worth the ride. Hang in there it gets interesting.
Plaidman
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H
Mountain climber
there and back again
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Jun 22, 2010 - 10:09pm PT
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My birthday is July too. 7/27/87. I wasn't climbing then and am really glad because it filled the hole that drugs and alcohol left. Now my sobriety/serenity is more balanced with a high power I have developed by going to meeting and climbing. I really needed focus (still do sometimes) and climbing really helped with that.
Hang in there Anxious Melancholy. Your in for a hell of a journey. Glad you kept coming back until it stuck. Every time I log on to this topic I wonder how Hank is doing. If he knows what he started. Hope he's OK.
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xtrmecat
Big Wall climber
Kalispell, Montanagonia
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Jun 22, 2010 - 10:27pm PT
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AM. Hang in there, it has been worth every inch, and what a ride too.
When I am around the valley, I will tie in with ya.
Bob
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rrrADAM
climber
LBMF
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Jun 23, 2010 - 07:27am PT
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AM... Jump into the Fellowship with both feet. Get lots of numbers, AND USE THEM. [Especially when new] If you are hanging out with people who have a couple of years, and you tell them you want to get loaded, they will tell you "it will pass"... If you are hanging out with people that get loaded and you tell them that you want to get loaded, they will likely tell you "they know where to score", or, "they are holding".
It really is about what you DO, not what you want... We act our way into good thinking, we do not think our way into good acting.
As a friend of mine used to always say:
"You can go to a lot of meetings and make it easy, some and make it hard, or none and make it impossible."
After 19 1/2 years of always going to meetings, he stopped going to any, and within a year was strung out on the streets.
IMHO, I cannot stress the importance of the "Fellowship" in our recovery... Where people know our name, and notice when we aren't there [they'll call], or we are 'off balance' a bit, and ask what's up. Coming late, leaving early, arms crossed and quiet, isn't a "part of"... They won't notice if we aren't there, and won't call, if they don't know us. To me, my "network" is some of my closest friends, and they are family.
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Sunshinesmile
Trad climber
San Diego, CA
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Jun 23, 2010 - 11:37am PT
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My mom was an Alcoholic and a single parent. I was an only child who didn't understand what was going on or how it affected my life. She is now sober for more then 7 years. Now I actually love my mom for who she is instead of just because she is my mom and I have to. We have a healthy respectful relationship now and I enjoy being around her. Still working on the personal issues of being raised by an alcoholic but I am getting better every day.
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Jun 23, 2010 - 12:38pm PT
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you stare at the ground with your jaw cupped in your hands.
next to you stands a beverage, who slowly releases her carbon in quaint little bubble bursts.
life as you've spent it has torn you to shreds.
dry mouth, slight headache. wretched breath.
no tears where tears should be.
the wind blows and the dust stirs, but you don't care.
your journey is thru.
and you never did achieve beyond.
a blink clears the sting from your eyes.
i reach for my glass and place its contents within me.
willful sorrow, why?
because i am very human.
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Stevee B
Mountain climber
Oakland, CA
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Jun 24, 2010 - 02:13pm PT
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AM, congrats on 40 days, that's a big deal. Ditto what so many others have said. If you came to the rooms and looked around and said "This is f'n LAME!", you are not alone. There are times I still think it's lame, or that if I jump in with both feet I'll become an automaton or brainwashed or lose all my free time. It's always turned out the opposite - when I get active and sacrifice time for meetings/sponsees/service etc. I end up with my free will intact, more productive free time, and a more positive outlook. And most of all, the complete removal of the obsession to drink. I just hope I never forget this stuff I'm typing right now, because I seem to forget it a lot, haha.
Hah what a cool place to have a little impromptu online meeting - Supertopo! hysterical!
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nevahpopsoff
Boulder climber
the woods
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Jun 24, 2010 - 03:00pm PT
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oh, boy....
life as you've spent it has torn you to shreds.
dry mouth, slight headache. wretched breath.
no tears where tears should be
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Blitzo
Social climber
Earth
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Aug 14, 2010 - 07:32pm PT
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I haven't done any drugs or booze for months and I feel so good that I want to grt high!
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Norwegian
Trad climber
Placerville, California
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Aug 19, 2010 - 09:44am PT
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i love beer.
i also love good health and well-being.
can a person manage these two loves, responsibly?
is it IMPOSSIBLE for everyone, or just for those of certain constitution?
i've existed nearly as long as i can remember.
thus i'm mostly proven.
and since i probably am, and surely open, life will process thru me: a confluence of joys and sorrows.
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Crimpergirl
Sport climber
Boulder, Colorado!
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Aug 26, 2010 - 11:59am PT
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Congratulations!
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Anxious Melancholy
Mountain climber
Between the Depths of Despair & Heights of Folly
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Aug 26, 2010 - 01:57pm PT
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Excellent! Way To GO!!
What a great feeling...104 days today.
I was asked recently how I'm doing this.
I am honest with myself and others.
I have a desire to stop the madness.
in the early weeks, I kept coming back, even after a day or two of drinking.
I believe in progress, not perfection.
I talk to people who care and understand, people who are also sober alcoholics.
I accept the fact that it's not all about me.
I'm willing to accept that the world and the powers in it are much greater than mine, and am humbled by the knowledge.
i like the way i feel, like the people i meet, feel a part of a wonderful and much healthier community, and don't pick up that first drink...no matter what.
The journey has just begun..........
What a great feeling!
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Elcapinyoazz
Social climber
Joshua Tree
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Aug 26, 2010 - 02:16pm PT
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Hang in there.
I'm somewhere in the 5 month range (I don't count the days) coming off about a bottle of wine/ 3 or 4 pint per night habit for about 15 yrs. And I feel much better. Sugar cravings were awful for about 6 weeks, now I don't crave booze or sugar. And I find myself with about $75-$100 extra $$ per month, so that's a nice bonus.
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