The true Doug Buchanan


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Topic Author's Original Post - Jul 17, 2008 - 04:29pm PT

Ezra 4:56 "Don't judge him until you have drank fine wine with him"

Boulder climber
Joshua Tree, CA
Jul 17, 2008 - 05:20pm PT

Trad climber
Top of the Mountain Mun
Jul 17, 2008 - 05:23pm PT
That's a good read.

Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
Jul 17, 2008 - 05:41pm PT
That's awesome.

Trad climber
San Francisco, Ca
Jul 17, 2008 - 05:46pm PT
The true Doug Buchanan is about how I pictured him.

The ice tower is rad.

Jul 17, 2008 - 05:55pm PT

Via a random word complaint generator found here:

Check it out, hilarious. Type The National Park Service in the Complain about a company/organization section and the letters are remarkably close to Dougs. Great idea about the tower Doug! What you have to say needs to be heard by many of us out here. Thank you for your time to share it with everyone here, it is very important yet they are strangely overlooked issues. I'd tie in with you any day dude.

Trad climber
Santa Clara, Ca.
Jul 17, 2008 - 06:31pm PT
CM, that's hilarious, I just typed in National Parks and got a decent rant. I should post in Svenka's NP in Alaska thread.

Social climber
Jul 17, 2008 - 06:47pm PT
hey there... say, thanks for the viewing of these wonderful looking ice-towers... marvelous to see what frozen water can do.... it seems like a fountain stopped in mid flight...

thanks for the share of this, and the very nice article... was a very nice read.... you could feel the levels of the ice tower, too.... :)
Floyd Hayes

Trad climber
Hidden Valley Lake, CA
Jul 17, 2008 - 07:06pm PT
Here's what I got when I typed in "Doug Buchanan":

Doug Buchanan's worst transgressions are systematically whitewashed by the press. To counteract that whitewash, I will use the remainder of my space here to expose Doug for who he really is. Let me start by stressing that I am not attempting to suppress anyone's opinions, nor do I intend to demean Doug personally for his beliefs or worldviews. But I do warrant that I must snap Doug's legatees out of their trance.

Fortunately, most people understand that a colleague recently informed me that a bunch of shameless slaves to fashion and others in Doug's amen corner are about to ignore compromise and focus solely on Doug's personal agenda. I have no reason to doubt that story because Doug's idiotic claim that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la is just that, an idiotic claim. Those of you who thought that Doug was finally going to leave us alone are in for a big surprise because Doug recently announced his plans to teach the next generation how to hate -- and whom to hate. There is no contradiction here; even though his general prostration before exclusivism confirms that the cardinal rule of Doug's smear tactics is that belligerent exhibitionism is the only thing that matters, you mustn't forget that Doug ought to unstop his ears and uncover his eyes. Only then will he hear that to which he has been too long heedless. Only then will Doug see that he has a knack for convincing despicable malefactors that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of "insiders". That's called marketing. The underlying trick is to use sesquipedalian terms like "cinephotomicrography" and "uncontradictableness" to keep his sales pitch from sounding crude. That's why you really have to look hard to see that Doug is absolutely mistaken if he believes that he can change his odious ways.

If you ask Doug if it's true that under the label of "macabre" are those, like Doug, who nourish stupid ideologies, you'll just get a lot of foot-shuffling and downcast eyes in response. It's fine to realize that I don't need to do a lot of research to be confident in stating that he is proposing a cure for which there is no disease or, more likely, a disease for which there is no cure, but it's more important to know that I fully intend to get the facts out in the hope that somebody will do something to solve the problem. I will spare no labor in doing this and reckon no labor lost that brings me toward this mark. Even so, Doug maintains that advertising is the most veridical form of human communication. This is hardly the case. Rather, there is growing evidence that says, to the contrary, that you don't have to say anything specifically about him for him to start attacking you. All you have to do is dare to imply that we should push a consistent vision that responds to most people's growing fears about the worst classes of crapulous, mutinous euphuists I've ever seen. And now, to end with a clever bit of doggerel: United we stand. Divided we fall. Doug Buchanan's exploitative animadversions will destroy us all.
Floyd Hayes

Trad climber
Hidden Valley Lake, CA
Jul 17, 2008 - 07:08pm PT
Very funny, I tried it again and it gives a different response. I wonder how many responses there are?

Social climber
Prescott, AZ
Jul 17, 2008 - 08:43pm PT
So that's where Doug gets his stuff...

Excellent find!

Trad climber
New York, NY
Jul 17, 2008 - 10:06pm PT
....I entered "Supertopo" and here's what the complaint generator spit up:

I realize that everyone is entitled to his opinion, and I respect this. I also hope that you will all respect mine as you read this letter. But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how I am annoyed by the appalling and sometimes balmy manifestations of rebelliousness against an inherited civilization of which Supertopo's provocateurs do not have the slightest understanding. Then, I'll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, if Supertopo had its way, schools would teach students that there is an international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. This is not education but indoctrination. It prevents students from learning about how Supertopo's methods are much subtler now than ever before. Supertopo is more adept at hidden mind control and its techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized.

What I just said is a very important point but I'm afraid a lot of readers might miss it so I'll say a few more words on the subject. Supertopo's ugly epithets abandon the idea of universal principles and focus illegitimately on the particular. Supertopo then blames us for that. Now there's a prizewinning example of psychological projection if I've ever seen one. Supertopo writes really long and boring letters. Which brings us to the harsh reality that must be faced: In this country we have an inalienable right to politic, protest, demonstrate, organize, run for office, and peacefully labor to build a coalition of stouthearted people devoted to stopping Supertopo. Supertopo may mean well but it has frequently been spotted making nicey-nice with the worst types of selfish crumbums there are. Is this because it needs their help to outrage the very sensibilities of those who value freedom and fairness? The answer should be self-evident so let me just point out that Supertopo has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that it is willing to promote truth and justice when it's convenient. But when it threatens its creature comforts, it throws principle to the wind.

Far be it for me to detach individuals from traditional sources of strength and identity -- family, class, private associations. While there is no evidence that this is where the rubber hits the road, it is clear that mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for Supertopo. If we feel helpless, Supertopo is energized and ramps up its efforts to lure the domineering into its army of improvident deadbeats. To recapitulate, Supertopo is laughing up its sleeve at us.
goatboy smellz

Jul 17, 2008 - 10:10pm PT
hey there Sven...say, do you know Doug personally?

Trad climber
Jul 18, 2008 - 02:01am PT
Via" a random word complaint generator found here:

Check it out, hilarious. Type The National Park Service in the Complain about a company/organization section and the letters are remarkably close to Dougs."

I knew Doug wasn't typing up his posts himself!

Social climber
My Inner Nut
Jul 18, 2008 - 09:56am PT

"Supertopo may mean well but it has frequently been spotted making nicey-nice with the worst types of selfish crumbums there are."

Roger Breedlove

Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Jul 18, 2008 - 10:16am PT
Oh crap, spewed coffee all over my work computer.

Jul 18, 2008 - 07:42pm PT
Doug is not bad
Rangers aren't bad
Everyone is good
Can't we all get along and make daisy chain necklaces?

Social climber
wuz real!
Jul 18, 2008 - 10:27pm PT
Maybe he will address this, in 'his own words'?

Social climber
Apr 2, 2015 - 10:16pm PT
hey there say, ... a bump for doug buchanan, his beloved feralfae, and for mouse...

and--for those that LOVE to ice towers...


Social climber
May 20, 2019 - 07:08am PT
hey there, say... okay... LAST ONE, FOR ME...

bump for our 'alaska doug' ...

no one like him... he 'enlivened the taco' in a 'new way' , by showing up unexpectedly-- doing what ONLY doug, could do...

i am so very glad, that you came here, doug...
and thus, too--

entered, later, after his death:
the wonderful feralfea...

his beloved...

*link, again... so you won't have to scroll back UP...
Messages 1 - 20 of total 28 in this topic << First  |  < Previous  |  Show All  |  Next >  |  Last >>
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